First Impressions
by orgasmicgratz
Summary: Post 2007 Movieverse, G1 intros. Skywarp finds and accidentally saves a human and everything goes to hell.
1. The Chase

I don't own any transformers related material. Too bad...

(bb 2010: Before we begin, I want to make something perfectly clear. This story, and the (as of Big Edit) about 300k words that it and its sequel/side story entails features a Mary Sue. A whopper of a Sue. She's proven to be likable, at least to some, but if you don't want to take the gamble or waste your time please just GO and don't bother me with whining about what I already know.

Otherwise, if you can get past this boring-as-hell first chap, enjoy!)

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The only life I remember starts in the woods running as fast as I could from three men. One was in a blue jacket, another in a green t-shirt and the third wore a red plaid button-up. Trees, bushes, roots, all one fog as panic drifted over my senses like a veil. Of course, my memory could be faulty because of what happened later, but for whatever reason I didn't completely forget the chase that led to the end of my old life.

I was flying through the trees as if my feet were barely skimming the surface. This was hardly true, since I my ankles threatened to roll on unseen and rocks and my going was actually sort of slow as far as running goes, but my adrenaline made the twigs slashing at my legs and face more or less painless and it all seemed so fast. The slivers of sky whispered through the leaves and undergrowth, illuminating the forest floor littered with raised roots and broken limbs.

My perspective upended suddenly as my ankle twisted sharply against something. I didn't believe it in the split second it took me to go down: I was in a world without edges and a part of my brain seemed to think the air should hold me upright on its own power. I hit the ground so hard my right arm popped through the surface into an animal's shallow tunnel. I felt something furry brush my wrist before I ripped my forearm out of the dirt. As I stared at the crumbled dirt on my hand reality snapped back to me like a rubber band.

The men were calling loudly somewhere behind me and I was torn between running to keep the distance between us and making a lot of noise, or staying where I was and hoping they passed me by. My ankle was slowing my decision; I didn't know if I could run fast enough, but I wanted to try. The longer I waited to run, the more dangerous the situation became and I knew I had to choose fast. My muscles started to coil like springs beneath me almost without my permission as the drunken laughing, yelling, and crashing of the three strangers got closer with every second.

The forest around me was in sharp detail now, the moonbeams punching through the branches and burning into the dirt, little spotlights trying to find me in the safety of the dark. I saw a path through the undergrowth, but as my calves and thighs sprang in synchronized forward motion a tight grip closed around my shoulder. Consequently, my legs shot out from under me and my upper half stayed where it was. I hit the ground on my back, but aside from some sticks poking me, I was fine. Until a boot connected with my shoulder and pitched me onto my side.

"Rich bitch! 'Hard to get' isn't my game! You like it in the dirt, whore." It wasn't a question. "Dirty little slut!"

I doubt I'll ever forget him saying that.

The other two men, blue jacket and green t-shirt, were standing over me now too, laughing and slinging me insults and drinking messily out of beer bottles. That meant red plaid was the one standing over me.

_Think. I have to get up. I can't do anything until I get up. Get _up_ now._

I rolled myself onto my hands and knees and slowly sat up with my hands in my lap. They watched me and laughed, comfortable that I wasn't going anywhere. I looked up at Red, and smiled weakly, tipping myself back and forth like a drunk. "What's all the name callin', boys? I was just goin' out to the truck for a little more privacy and ya'll scared me," I smiled as widely as I could and forced a strangled giggle out of the back of my throat. Funny, I remember saying it like that, with that thick southern accent that I didn't really have, but I don't know why anymore.

Red grabbed me by the shoulders dragging me back onto my feet. "Damn you are a whore, rich bitch!" Or why he kept calling me _rich_ bitch. "Hope you don't mind, I just plain forgot protection," he wheezed out and his friends broke into raucous hooting, blasting sour breath in my face, "but what does a slut like you care! Let's get in that truck!" Red wrapped an arm around my shoulders and started me back the way we came. I let him take us back out through the woods into a stretch of open scrub behind some low, indistinct buildings in the distance.

It was the opening I was looking for, with sharp rocks all over the ground, perfect for what I planned to do. As Red shifted his weight from one foot to the other, walking right next to me, unsuspecting, thank God. I stepped across his line of balance. I didn't even have to push. One step, timed just right, sent him down with a lot of help from gravity. The arm around my shoulder started to pull me down with him, but I expected it and reached up to his wrist, grabbing it in a lock I had never really perfected. I don't think I was very good, just very lucky.

You see, I studied a martial art called aikido. I seem to remember everything I learned, but not where or who taught it to me. I do know that aikido is purely defensive, and the mantra was stressed to me many times that a small defender with the right technique has an infinite advantage over a larger, and higher, center of gravity. I also knew how to fall.

His bulk still pulled me down, but with a twist to his wrist along with his own weight, I was out from under him and the pop and snaps of his bones and joints assured me that he wouldn't be using that arm on me again. I was back on my feet before the other two knew what had happened. The sharp overall clarity of the entire forest had left me again in exchange for the minute details of the remaining two men. I was ready for them. I didn't have to wait long; while their friend thrashed on the ground babying his broken wrist, the two men came at me with fists.

Understand that I am only a green belt. Not that good, not skilled enough to take on two attackers at once. But I tried.

The fist of the one on the left, blue jacket, was closest, so I reached out to meet it and closed my last two fingers gently around his wrist. The world slowed down around me. As we turned inexplicably together, led by my butterfly-light grip on his wrist, I waited for the moment as his body rose into another step and – now! – his feet left the ground and he smashed into the legs of his friend. It took less than two seconds.

The thrill of taking down three men so much bigger than me didn't last long. I had forgotten Red. His good hand closed around my good ankle, the one I hadn't fallen on before, and as I put my full weight on the bad one, pain shot through it and I fell. I fell as properly as I could, but I couldn't help the rock sharply jutting out of the dirt. Despite my brief training to always land safely, the rock was tall enough to hit my temple as I spun off balance. My world went black.

I came back after what felt like hours but what could only have been seconds. Green was getting to his feet, and Blue was still cursing on the ground. Red was trying to yank my tightly tied shoes off, to keep me from running away again, I suppose. Or to help remove my jeans. I lay still and limp until he'd finished with my feet, and as he looked away to his partners I lashed out with the heel of my good foot, trying to jam his nose into his brain. I missed. Disoriented, I gave him a nice black eye, but it only made him madder. I scrambled into a crouch and scuttled sideways, crab style, back away from Red and got my back to the tree line. I shakily got to my feet and stared Green down as he started to approach me.

"Know what you gone and done, woman? We're gonna beat you black 'n' blue, you're gonna learn a lesson you ain't forgettin' any time soon, rich bitch!" Green had an apple-sized rock wrapped in his fist and I had no doubts on what he planned to do with it.

I felt my face go blank and threatening as I stood less than ten feet from the three men who wanted to kill me. I would go down fighting. I expected a fight, albeit a short one that I wouldn't make it out of. That's why it surprised me when first Green, then Blue, and finally Red, who'd been gazing down at his tortured wrist, dropped their jaws and started to make indistinct, frightened noises, staring over my head. Without any of their previous bravado they scrambled away, running as fast as their drunken state would allow.

I was shocked and confused. I am not an intimidating person, and I doubt I ever have been, so my bemused and aching brain slowly processed what to do next: _Find out what they were running from. Get ready to run too._

I slowly turned my body around. It took me a moment to catch the source of their fear against the backdrop of the tall dark trees, but as my eyes slowly adjusted I both felt and heard something very, very large stomp heavily in the hard packed dirt. As it moved I saw it, craning my head back to see the top. Its feet were very, very close. Huge and dark, where the head should be two glowing red eyes stared down at me.

I hissed through my teeth, fell on my butt, and scooted away as much as I could until my back met a prickly scrub bush. The monster in the trees didn't move.

I gasped for air, my heart pounding in a way unlike anything I'd experienced before, not even being chased by hostile pursuers. We both stayed where we were, unmoving, waiting, it seemed, for the other to act first. It was watching me in an intelligent, thoughtful way. I took the initiative and managed to raise my croaking voice to pose the critical question.

"What… what are you?"

It watched me for another long, painful, and drawn out moment, and then finally in a deep metallic voice, hushed against the sounds of the night insects in the field, said, "Skywarp." It studied me as it spoke, then looked across the horizon with an air of suspicion.

I sat still for an agonizingly long moment, amazed that it spoke English and then confused by the answer, so I asked, "You're a sky warp?"

"My name is Skywarp. You had no chance against the larger humans but fought anyway. Why?"

It had been watching us. Watching me. And it was the reason I was alive, whether or not it had intended to save me. I thought carefully about my answer, but the pause didn't seem to bother the huge… robot... standing in front of me. "I would rather go down fighting and respect myself than just roll over and die. I thought they would kill me no matter what I did, so..." I couldn't create anything more logical than I already had with my heart pounding the way it was.

It studied me for a long moment, piercing me with its emotionless stare. "You are damaged. Why did you provoke the humans if you expected to lose?"

Once again I had to think about what I was going to say. What did I do to those guys, anyway? The reality of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't remember. The harder I tried to recall the night, to recall _anything_; I realized how little I still knew. I didn't even know my name.

I didn't remember _anything_ before the trees.

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(bb 2010: I'm calling this the Big Edit. I'm fixing things as I see them, making things clearer or sound better, capitalizing Autobots and Deceptions and fixing some names I totally effed. Little lines may change, but nothing that affects the story line.)

Edited March 9, 2010


	2. Taking Control

I don't own anything to do with Transformers. Too bad.

(bb 2010: In case you didn't read this in chapter one, this is a MARY SUE story. Big time. If that bothers you just GIT!)

* * *

The monster robot standing among the trees was waiting for my answer, and I didn't have one.

"I hit my head, earlier. I don't know what I did before, to make them chase me like that… I don't remember anything, before they chased me. I don't remember my name…"

The situation was crashing down on me like an icy wave: I didn't know anything about my past. I didn't have a purse, so no driver's license to check. Did I even have a driver's license? And I wasn't going back to whatever those buildings in the distance were. I doubted those men would be any happier to see me a second time and I knew without a doubt, but not why, that they would be there in those little buildings.

The robot was silent while I thought things through until with a muted whirling of gears and pumps and joints and god knows what went into action as it lowered itself to the ground. It sat just like a person might, legs out front, arms looped over bent knees.

"I have consulted the world wide web. You are describing an occurrence called amnesia, presumably caused by your meeting with a rock." It sounded like it was reading something off, somewhat uncomfortable with the terminology. At the same time it was amused, as if getting hurt by a rock was funny and pitiful at the same time.

"I got hit by a rock?"

"Your human coolant, your blood, is all over one of them. It is red."

I reached up to my throbbing temple and he was right. Mixing with the sweat pouring down the side of my neck in the summer heat was the thick stickiness of blood.

It surprised me by speaking again. "You may have a concussion. Minor damage caused by the fluid of the brain failing to cushion a blow." Uncomfortable recitation again.

I was beginning to sense how ridiculous the situation was. "I'm dreaming, aren't I. You're a robot diagnosing my booboos in the middle of a field. A really big robot that thinks it has a doctorate. I did hit my head, so maybe I'm hallucinating…"

It listened without comment to my mumbling for a minute or two, then cut in using that same deep and metallic but calm, quiet tone. "I am not just a robot. I am a Decepticon. I have seen things you've never imagined, so please don't compare me to what your kind passes off as technology. I'm capable of more than surfing the Internet."

"Like what?"

There was a grinding sound that seemed to come from deep in its chest, what I hoped desperately was a macabre sort of laugh.

"Helpless little flesh creature, I hold the keys to the enslavement and destruction of your world. I am capable of interstellar travel, I can assimilate any species' culture in a matter of hours if I choose, and I have more firepower than your bumbling earth scientists could ever dream of."

I was beginning to smell a bias. "You don't really like my kind, do you, figment of my imagination?" This could only be a dream. Space traveling alien robots with sinister names.

I was beginning to realize its dimly lit face was far from emotionless. Its eyes narrowed in what could only be described as annoyance, and the plates that made its mouth seemed to tighten. "Flesh creature, I'm not an… imagined thing. I am a powerful Decepticon warrior. I detected Blackout's guidance system many years ago, but the signal was incomprehensibly distorted, and now I can't trace him at all. I haven't been able to make contact with Megatron or any other Decepticons while I have been on Earth."

My mind was buzzing, trying to make sense of what it was saying. Who were Blackout and Megatron? I seemed to remember something about that name… Megatron… On a TV, shaky film on the news of huge creatures destroying a city... One of them said that name…

_"__**It's Megatron! Fall back!"**_

I broke out of my thoughts and looked at the robot, the Decepticon named Skywarp sitting in the scrub in front of me. "The other giant robots were scared of Megatron. He was really big… They retreated out when he came around the corner. When they fought in the city."

Skywarp leaned forward eagerly. "Megatron _is_ here? I can't find him. Did he destroy the Autobots? Where was the battle, human?" Its hushed voice was growing louder and more frightening. "Why isn't Megatron responding to my signals? Where are the Autobots? Answer me, flesh creature!"

I shrank back from his new aggressive behavior. I knew without a doubt Skywarp was a 'he.' He was testerone driven demanding type.

"I don't know! I just remember seeing it on the news. Maybe there were more shows, more articles on it. You said you could use the Internet."

His smoldering red eyes went flat and emotionless. "I'm already checking, human."

I sat in silence, staring at the dirt in front of me, and finally asked the question that had been burning in the back of my mind. "What's going to happen to me…? I don't know who I am. How can I live like that?"

I hadn't expected an answer, so Skywarp surprised me. "You're coming with me, human." There was a long pause in which I nearly died of simultaneous heart attack and seizure. "I like your fighting spirit. You will make yourself useful."

More than a little alarmed, my head snapped back up, causing a ripple of dizziness, which faded quickly. "But you have the key to destroying the world, or whatever. What could I possibly do to help you? _Why_ would I help you? What are you going to do with all the firepower you say you have?"

With a fierce growl and the groan of straining mechanical parts, Skywarp leaned over me menacingly and slammed one huge black metal hand flat into the dirt just inches from me. The gust of air blew my hair back out of my face. "I saved your life, you trivial little pest of a creature! If I want to keep a pet human who owes me its existence, who is going to stop me?"

I shrank away from his giant hand, but fear kept my mouth shut this time. He was starting to straighten up when I thought I heard a faint engine noise, far off in the distance. The noise really seemed to catch his interest, since he stood up quickly and stared of into the sky for a long time. I saw a flicker of light run down his frame, then – he started to fall apart.

At least, it seemed that way. As I watched in the dim moonlight, his body shuffled and shifted and seemed to roll in on itself until I was face to nose with a black fighter jet.

At first all I could make was a strangled clicking noise out of the back of my suddenly bone dry throat until suddenly and with all the tense fear of death and torture and giant monsters my carefully maintained control opened its floodgates into one painfully long raw scream.

The fighter jet immediately started falling apart again and in a matter of seconds Skywarp was himself, leaning over me with his giant hands fluttering inches from me like monstrous metal butterflies.

"Shut down your vocal processors, human! Be quiet! Flesh bag, silence! Shut up or I'll break your fool neck!"

My emotionally loaded scream tapered off into indistinct croaking. It was a little while longer, Skywarp still kneeling over me apprehensively, until I could shakily ask, "What just happened to you?"

He stared at me again with that flat, dangerous expression, which I suppose means he's looking up something on the Internet. Finally, "Your species has no transforming technology, however much your science is Cybertronian in nature. I took the specs of the passing aircraft and assimilated it as a useful alternate form. It both increases certain skills I already have and allows me to hide in your society without causing animmediate uproar. You will ride in the cockpit."

I gulped and covered my face with my hands while I let myself take in this new obstacle. I didn't know if I'd ever ridden in a plane, or in any case didn't remember it, and this stranger, a pushy alien robot, wanted me to ride in a fighter jet.

"S- Skywarp… I don't think I can. Fighter pilots, they have to practice. They wear special suits, and oxygen masks and it's a really big deal. G-forces. Nausea. I have a weak stomach; I might throw up all over... all over you."

Skywarp shrugged his shoulders, which I noticed were much broader than before. In fact, his whole body had taken on a wider, triangular shape and in the darkness I could see parts that matched his new jet form.

"The cockpit will be atmospherically controlled for you. You won't even feel the gravity. Don't become stressed. It's bad for your health system."

"How do you know that? I thought you didn't know that much about us."

He smiled in a way that wasn't exactly cruel, but hard to describe as friendly. "I have been studying the care and feeding of the human species these last few minutes. According to many sources stress is bad for your health. I command you to avoid stress, human. Also, you are forbidden trans fats and excessive cholesterol. They are a silent killer."

I wasn't sure if I should laugh or faint. A robot was telling me how to live, and it was putting me on a diet. Looking down at myself, it was easy to tell I didn't eat a lot of trans fats before… and I had stamina, which was also obvious after my forest run. Maybe the robot diet wouldn't be that hard.

"We need to leave here, human. Your human police have been contacted and are en route."

"Ok…" I murmured nervously and started pulling on my shoes. "Um, Skywarp? How do I get in the cockpit without a ladder?"

He started to transform without answering. As he finished up, a piece of his body popped out where a ladder might be placed. It wasn't exactly the most convenient thing, definitely not made for climbing, but it had enough handholds that I managed to climb up and found myself settling into the chair in the cockpit. The top closed in on me with a hiss and without even feeling it, we were blasted into the air. No slow rolling take off for him…

He was fast. Frighteningly fast. He flew up to what seemed pretty high and did a wide circle around the area, tilted almost perpendicular to the ground some of the time. I could see a few sets of blue and red lights down one of the winding streets when he turned like that. Reports of giant monsters are taken very seriously now, so more than just a courtesy cop had been sent out. The area seemed kind of rural, buildings were scattered far apart and there weren't many lights.

"I have been searching for articles about what happened during the battle with the Autobots. Bonecrusher, Blackout, Devastator, and Megatron are confirmed offline. Barricade and Starscream were both sighted but neither was destroyed. The Autobots suffered one loss, a high-ranking officer. Their third in command, special ops unit… Optimus Prime and at least three other Autobots are still on the planet." His voice was filling the cockpit, so I couldn't be sure of where it was coming from. "Hopefully police reports will reach Barricade or Starscream and they will respond to my frequency. That idiot Starscream's totally cut me off… I have to be careful that the Autobots don't hear me before one of my allies does."

There wasn't much for me to do but listen and try to get comfortable watching the view. It suddenly occurred to me that Skywarp was probably lighting up every radar from here to Alaska. "Um, Skywarp, aren't you going to show up on radar? Won't they notice a rogue jet flying off pattern?"

"Don't worry, human pet. My cloaking generator makes me invisible to every kind of sensor your slow-witted people has ever come up with. Unless I want them to, they won't see me. They will have to make a direct visual and most humans won't recognize me."

"Oh. Ok. Are we going to be flying for a while?"

"Until I find a good place to set up temporary base. For now, yes, it will take a while. I need to look for the others, and they were last seen on this continent. Starscream is fully mobile and could go anywhere, but Barricade is limited to the roads. He should remain somewhere in easy range."

For the moment there wasn't much for me to do. Skywarp seemed to know what he was doing and I wasn't talking myself out of my new _occupation_ any time soon. Best to just lean back, let him worry about his own problems and try to forget about mine. Maybe a nap would stir up some old memories.

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Edited March 9th, 2010


	3. Bravura

I don't own anything to do with Transformers. Too bad.

* * *

"Time to wake up human."

Skywarp's voice was loud and rough in the cockpit. Bright daylight was shining in through the glass and a glance at the sun told me it was still early in the morning. We were cruising along effortlessly, it seemed. The landscape had changed; we were over an expanse of dark evergreen trees growing thick in deep valleys and up into huge sharp hills, all divided by a busy highway. It reminded me of the Ozarks, and at that thought I wondered when I had been there.

"Barricade has responded to my signal and is making his way to our location. He should be here well before sundown. Frenzy is with him, but he is damaged and will be of little use to us in the immediate future."

"Barricade and Frenzy? Who are they?"

"Apparently the only support we'll be finding on this planet any time soon, human. Starscream is not planetside. He claimed his mission was to find and assemble the remaining Decepticon army in order to return and lead the attack on Optimus Prime. If he's anything like he was on Cybertron, he's a spineless coward looking for an easy out, but he'll come back. Soon, if I'm guessing right."

I dumbly nodded my head and went on to try and stretch out my cramped limbs, but what space I had didn't make it easy. Moving around also reminded my body that it had other business to take care of, and I'd have to be on the ground for it. I gathered up my courage.

"Uh… Skywarp? Can we please land? I need to… you know. Go to the bathroom."

"Do what?"

"Just… get rid of extra waste. It has to be done. Soon. Please."

"Ah, yes. Your body is extremely inefficient when extracting energy. We can land."

He veered from the course of the highway and followed a service road deeper into the hills, which gradually grew a little taller. He circled a particular area twice, and he must have decided it was a good place to stop. His speed dropped to almost nothing and he hovered down to the ground, using equipment definitely not standard to his jet form. He landed lightly on the top of hill smaller than the ones around it. It was mostly covered in huge slabs of rock, so only a few trees had managed to take root. One side was a sheer cliff, maybe the height of a two-story house, and the rest gradually dropped off from a small plateau.

The top of the cockpit popped open with a hiss and I stood up slowly, my muscles and joints protesting. The makeshift ladder was waiting for me and I crawled down it unsteadily until my feet were back on solid ground. I immediately picked my way down the slope and took care of business.

Feeling much better, I started to give my aching muscles a break while I made my way back up to Skywarp. As I stretched my back out I heard Skywarp transforming ahead and it occurred to me that I hadn't seen him in daylight before.

I pulled myself up onto one of the slabs of dark red rock and was vaguely shocked. His whole body setup was much more complicated than I had imagined in the darkness, but he was dark in color, black all over with random accents of purple and some small areas of light gray. There were symbols in random places on his body. One on his shoulder, which seemed to be partly made of his wing stood out, was lined in purple against the black. Skywarp noticed me looking at it and I could swear his strange face had a smile on it. It was harder to tell when I was distracted by all his parts.

"That is the Decepticon insignia, human. Any transformer with any other symbol is the enemy. In fact, I have decided something. If you are going to be my pet, I need to take precautions. If Starscream keeps his word you will be meeting many Decepticons, and they simply won't care about any little human. I have looked it up, and I have found the process called tattooing. I want you to tattoo the Decepticon insignia on your forehead."

I had been in the middle of a yawn when he finished. Air whooshed out of me and I stared up at him, disbelieving. "Oh. Ha ha. That's a funny one. Nobody tattoos their forehead, Skywarp. Except that guy who got paid for it, but he doesn't count. Maybe my back or something…"

He growled, more of a metallic thunderous grind than a throaty sound. "If I wanted the symbol on your back I would have said so! You forehead is always visible. You will tattoo your forehead."

I stiffened in defiance. I couldn't get away from this big monster, but I wasn't going to let him control my appearance. What did I have to lose besides a life that I no longer had any control over?

"No."

His big fists clenched and he lea,ned over me menacingly. "You belong to me, flesh creature. You will do as I say."

"It's not normal! I won't do it!"

Skywarp raised his huge fist as if to fling it down at me again, but he just held it up for a nerve-wracking moment before slowly lowering it again. "Are you always this stubborn, human?"

I was taken off balance by the new direction of his question. "I guess I am… I don't remember. I wish I knew my name. I don't like being called human and flesh creature." I sat down under a scraggly tree growing through a crack in the rock, picking at my jeans dispiritedly.

Skywarp settled down beside me as well, blocking the bright sun out of my eyes whether he meant to our not. "You need a name, something that fits. You are a fearless fighter, and stubborn." At this point he made some weird, garbled and metallic noise and looked at me expectantly. "Do you like it?"

I couldn't help making a face. "Like what?"

"The name." More crazy noises. "It means fearless."

"Oh… That's your language?" He nodded. "Well, I'm sure it's wonderful but I don't know if I can pronounce it."

Skywarp burst out into a normal sounding laugh, much to my shock. "I don't even think you can hear some of the wavelengths. I'll find something human to fit you."

We sat in silence for a long time and the cool air of the morning was melting away in the rising summer heat, but in Skywarp's shadow it was bearable.

I looked down at my dirty clothes and sighed in dismay. I had been wearing a pretty white shirt with a light blue design wheeling all across it, but now it was covered in dirt and even some grass. My jeans were no better. My shoes were nice, and only a little dirty, so there was at least one thing to be happy about.

As I was contemplating the logo on the side of my once white sneakers my stomach rumbled insistently and Skywarp looked down from whatever was occupying him. "You need an energy source. What do you humans use? Wait, I'll look it up."

I watched him, faintly amused by his desire to take care of me. As a pet, but maybe he would start to see me as a real person instead of a gerbil at some point. "Ah ha! You call it food, and you prepare it in too many ways to bother mentioning. You are an omnivore; feeding you should be easy. I'll go get you one of those trees to graze on." He started to get up.

I got up too and held out my arms, yelling "No! Wait, people don't eat trees. Sometimes we eat fruit from trees, but not the actual tree. I need to go get food from a store, but I don't have any money."

Skywarp nodded as if he had predicted my helplessness. "I will radio Barricade to have Frenzy gather you some food and money. He should be able to handle that."

"Ok. I can wait, I guess… Are you a higher rank than Barricade?"

"Yes, a lot higher. I'm more mobile and more powerful. There isn't exactly much reason for a ranking system until Starscream gets back, though. I won't push him."

"Are you really going to make me get a tattoo?"

"I want you to. We can change the placement if you like."

"Yeah, I guess we should. You want it somewhere that's visible all the time?"

"To help identify you to my allies."

"Uh huh. Maybe like, my arm or something. Or my wrist, but that would hurt… At least it would be visible."

"Your wrist would be fine."

"Ok. In black and purple?"

"Why black and purple?"

I smiled up at him, but it was getting hard to see his face as the sun rose and outlined him in a brilliant halo. "Your main colors are black and purple. I thought you would like the extra touch."

I couldn't quite tell, but it looked like he was smiling again. "Yes, I do."

The day wore on uneventfully, watching the hawks and buzzards fly over occasionally, clouds sometimes whisking over the sun and giving a little relief from the heat. There was one scare with a rattlesnake that Skywarp squashed almost before I had a chance to scream. I moved closer to him after that, both for the snake insurance and because his shadow was disappearing as noon approached.

It wasn't long before his shadow was gone and I was left sitting in the sun, panting and sweating. I could almost hear my skin crisping.

Skywarp looked down at me when I started fanning myself with both hands, and was quickly alarmed. "You are changing colors, human. You are turning red. What is your illness?"

"It's the sun. My skin is kind of sensitive after a while."

He leaned down low to me and inspected my face and arms closely. "I have looked up sunburn. They can cause skin cancer. Cancer can be fatal to humans. You must be protected from excessive exposure."

This being said, he hunched his body over his knees, which were sticking out in front of him, and I realized suddenly that he was making himself into a big metal shelter for me. He watched me from over his legs as I scooted under him and I could see the red glow of his eyes in the shade of the robot tent. I craned my neck back to look at him and smiled, and he smiled back.

"I've found a name for you."

"You have? Well, let's hear it. I have to like it, or it's a no go."

He chuckled, his bright red eyes shining down on me. "I think you will. I was considering your skill when defending yourself. You were very brave facing those three humans, wouldn't you say?"

"Well, I'm not actually that skilled… but I guess I was kind of brave, or reckless, whatever you want to call it."

"I want to call it bravery, which is why I want to name you Bravura."

"Bravura? Did you make it up?"

"No, it's an earth word. It means brilliance, artistry, talent, and great skill, in your language."

"Bravura. _Bravura…"_

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah, I think I do."

We shared another smile while the sun baked everything around us.

* * *

Edited March 9th, 2010


	4. Behind Blue Eyes

I don't own anything to do with Transformers. Too bad.

* * *

Sunset came and Barricade didn't. Skywarp tried to reach him, but neither of the other two Decepticons responded. He decided to do a quick search of the highways nearby.

"I'll be right back. I'm only going on recon in a hundred mile radius of this point, it won't take long."

"But Skywarp, we're in the middle of nowhere. There could be bears or coyotes or something out there. What if-"

He cut me off. "I've done a bio scan of the area and there's nothing taller than your ankles out there. You'll be fine. Just stay here."

With that he transformed and shot off into the night sky, leaving me alone on the rocky point. I sighed resignedly and found a nice smooth place to lie down on, reclining on the warm rock, pillowing my head in my hands. The entire hill was radiating residual heat but the night was surprisingly cold and I was regretting my thin shirt.

I didn't have anything else to do, so I watched the stars. About half the sky was covered by a thick cloud cover, moving in at a steady pace. Thunder echoed from far way.

_Just my luck, Skywarp leaves and a storm moves in. It would be just the _best_ if it rains before he gets back._

To my overwhelming joy a fat raindrop plopped smack in the middle of my forehead. I groaned and moved under the scraggly tree, which offered absolutely no relief from the increasingly heavy shower. I hadn't had anything to drink in my short memory, so I took advantage of the rain and opened my mouth to catch what I could.

The shower rapidly turned into a deluge and my clothes now provided no protection from the cold. Steam was rising up from the cooling rocks and they were losing heat fast. Between the mist and the inky blackness of rain, I couldn't see anything. It would explain why what happened next was completely unexpected.

There was a loud roaring, like a 747 jet but worse, and a bright flare of light from the left before my little hill experienced what felt like a small explosion. A tiny rock pinged off my skull, but I was otherwise untouched by shrapnel. There was the added patter of gravel as the area settled in the falling rain

I shivered from residual fear and cold as the rain pelted me, but I got to my feet and edged a little closer to the steaming and smoking pile of rocks. There was what looked like a giant boulder lodged in the side of the rock.

I had barely started to say "A meteorite?" when the rock in the center of the mess begin to grind and shift mechanically. The sound was eerily familiar. I watched in uneasy silence while it rearranged itself into another robot, which wasn't exactly unexpected.

It stood up and started to take in its surroundings, apparently relaxed by the lack of lights or people. That is, until it saw me.

Its glowing blue eyes settled on me and parked it. Its entire demeanor changed in a flash to defensive as it crouched low and started to slide down the rocky hill.

I held up my hands as welcomingly as I could. "No, wait, please don't go."

It stopped. It watched me warily, took another icy look around, and then climbed back onto the wet rock face and sat down. Its eyes stayed on me.

Lightning flashed overhead and I took in its appearance. Dark in color like Skywarp, but much smaller, maybe as much as half his size. His eyes were bright electric blue, and he had a symbol on his chest. But something was wrong. Another ripple of lightning crossed the sky, and I saw that his symbol didn't match the Decepticon symbol on Skywarp.

"You aren't a Decepticon, are you?"

"No. I'm an Autobot." His voice was a much lighter metallic tenor than Skywarp's deep growl.

"Are you going to hurt me?"

"No."

I smiled at him. It was his voice; he just sounded friendly, and male. I decided to take advantage of being recently christened.

"My name's Bravura."

He slowly returned my smile. "I'm Hot Rod."

"Nice to meet you. If you don't mind my asking, why did you just crash land on top of me?"

He laughed, a sound much more comforting and kind than Skywarp's. Hot Rod's whole manner seemed so gentle in comparison.

"Pure coincidence, I promise. I tried to aim for an uninhabited area, but it's just my luck that I found you. And I would say it's very lucky that I landed here after all."

"Oh yeah? Why is that?"

"Because I met you." Maybe I was weak from exposure, but I couldn't help giggling. He was a flirt! "Now I have a question for _you_. What are you doing out here in the rain?"

I suddenly felt the icy cold of the rain all over again. "Oh. Uh. Well, you see, I-"

I didn't get to finish explaining to Hot Rod that I was here waiting for one of his enemies to come because Skywarp said it for me. Some kind of rocket shot into the wooded hill behind Hot Rod, just missing him. He was on his feet in a heartbeat and in another he was standing between me and the source of the rocket.

_He's protecting me? He doesn't even know me..._

I heard him coming in first, and then I saw the dim shape of Skywarp fly onto the peak of the next hill over. He was silhouetted against the sky mid-transformation by a blast of lightning behind him.

"Get away from the human, Autobot scrap!"

"Not a chance, Decepticon. Back off before I get nasty!"

With a fierce roar Skywarp launched from the hill and into Hot Rod. I just managed to get out of their way as they rolled across the rock and off the cliff face, down into the tree filled valley a few stories below. I rushed to the edge to see what was happening.

Hot Rod fired a bright blue blast at Skywarp, but it missed and blew apart the soaked trees. Skywarp returned fire, also missing, then dove in to tackle the smaller Autobot. They hit the ground with a bone-rattling thud. Without any warning Skywarp left Hot Rod on the ground, transforming and blasting up to hover in front of me, sliding his wing onto the plateau to position his body right against the cliff. The cockpit was open.

"Get in, Bravura."

"But he-"

"I said _get in_, so move before I throw you down the cliff with him! NOW!"

I spared one last glance at Hot Rod as he strained to get up. It hadn't been a fair fight. If we stayed, Skywarp might kill him. I leaped from the cliff into the cockpit. It instantly hissed shut and then we were blasting away through the heavy rain.

* * *

Edited March 9th, 2010


	5. Fitting In

I don't own anything to do with Transformers. Too bad.

Wow, response has been really positive! Thanks a bunch for the encouraging reviews and suggestions, it's easy to forget to explain what's going on in my head. Here's Chapter 5! 6 and 7 are written and waiting for me to go over them. They should be up in a day or two!

* * *

The silence of the cockpit was suddenly smothering. I tried humming to myself, but it came out tuneless and I let it go. Finally, Skywarp broke the stillness.

"What did the Autobot say to you?"

I wasn't sure I wanted to tell Skywarp. I certainly wasn't going to tell him that Hot Rod had been charming. I couldn't trust Skywarp's temper.

"He… He just told me he was an Autobot and he asked why I was out there. You got back before I could answer him."

Skywarp seemed satisfied with this, because he didn't press the issue.

I, however, needed answers. Despite my better judgment I blurted out, "But he wasn't doing anything. He was just sitting there and you shot at him. You just snuck up on him! Why?"

Silence, and then in a tone that gave me the mental image of a vicious sneer, "Autobots like that dirtkisser aren't worth anything, plus that low-grade piece of spare parts was bound to try and steal you. Are you aware that I'm the highest ranking Decepticon on the planet?"

"I thought you said you wouldn't press that issue."

"That's beside the point, you spoiled little thing. If I go around letting insignificant Autobots like that sorry excuse for a trash heap steal _my_ property, how is that going to look to _my _subordinates?"

"You mean Barricade and Frenzy? Where are they by the way?"

"Barricade was detained by an Autobot just twenty-six miles from here. He received some damage and Frenzy is doing what repairs he can. He has your food."

I sighed with relief. The few drops of rain I had managed to swallow had only reminded me how hungry and thirsty I was, and a headache was starting to pulse insistently just behind my eyes.

"Are we going to meet them?"

"Yes. Ah, by the way… Barricade has a history of toying with organics. His alternate form is a police car, if that tells you anything."

"I guess it does. He turns into something people trust, and then he-"

"I won't let him touch you."

"Thanks." I suddenly realized with dismay that my soaking clothes were going to ruin Skywarp's interior and groaned.

"What's wrong with you, Bravura?"

"My clothes are dripping all over your upholstery."

He laughed, that harsh loud thunder that made me wish for Hot Rod's easy friendliness despite the fact I barely knew the guy. "I'm waterproof. Maybe this will help you dry." The air circulating through the cockpit got noticeably warmer and I relaxed the muscles I hadn't even realized I had tensed against the cold.

It wasn't long at all before Skywarp started descending again. The landscape was just as dark and deserted as the last, if a little flatter. Far away I could see the glow of the highway.

Skywarp set down on a gravel track in the trees that was just wide enough for his wings to pass through. He glided to an impossible stop midair and lowered to the ground with nary a jolt. We waited on the little road, rain pounding on the clear cover over my head, but the warm air gave me at least some comfort. It was hard to say how much time passed, but it felt like a long time before I saw headlights glowing through the steady rain.

I patted the instrument-bedecked dash in front of me to make sure I had Skywarp's attention. "Is that Barricade?"

"Yes."

Barricade rolled closer and turned slightly sideways as he parked in front of Skywarp so I could make out the large letters spelling _Police_ painted across his door. To my unexplained delight I saw that he was a Mustang.

"Alright, my little pet Bravura, it's time to ride with Barricade."

I stared down at the glowing circuit board in alarm. "What! You said he likes to toy with people, and you're going to send me with him? Alone?"

"He knows what I will do to him if he hurts you. Frenzy shouldn't bother you either."

I looked around expectantly for some other kind of vehicle. "Where's Frenzy?"

Skywarp chuckled. "You'll see."

With that, the cockpit popped open and rain rushed in on me. I quickly scrambled down the pop-out ladder and ran the short distance to Barricade's passenger door. I tried opening it, but it was locked.

I frowned and tried again. This time the door swung out on its own power and smacked me down on the gravel.

"What was that for?" I stood up shakily, suddenly aware of my ankle, still tender from the fall in the woods. "I'm just doing what Skywarp told me to! Don't take it out on me!"

His engine revved menacingly and I sneered at his steering wheel as I climbed in. The door slammed shut behind me. I heard a rumble outside and watched as Skywarp took off again, disappearing immediately into the stormy sky. Barricade's engine came to life again and he took off at a speed that didn't seem safe for gravel, but there was little for me to do but hook up the seatbelt and watch the road.

Eventually curiosity took over and I started to look over the inside of the car. It was clean and new, and an apple computer was sitting on the plush black leather of the driver's seat.

I started to reach for it on a whim when it broke its smooth finish and started to turn into something else. I yelped and jerked back against the passenger door, which swung open to the rain easily. If not for the seatbelt I would have fallen out. I wordlessly screamed my frustration at Barricade and turned back to look at the new robot sitting in the driver's seat. He was silver, thin, and very pointy. He looked smaller than me. One glowing blue eye glared at me, but the other hung crazily to the side, flickering.

"Are you Frenzy?"

He glared at me balefully and turned to address the steering wheel in a mixed up mess of words, but I think I caught the word human. Barricade responded in an equally unintelligible language, deep and sharp and menacing.

Frenzy snapped back quickly and turned to look at me again.

"Ok… I'm going to look at the food... Please, please don't stab me." I unhooked the seatbelt regretfully, then reached down between my legs and grabbed the white paper bag stuffed against the back of my floor space. It held a bag of crushed chips, two bottles of water, and a slightly smashed turkey sandwich. I wondered how they had gotten it. Without dwelling on it, I snatched out the water and the sandwich, tearing it open and eating in silence while Frenzy glared at me.

I gulped down a whole bottle of water before stashing the trash back in the paper bag, and then put the seatbelt on.

I was now fairly content, except for the wet clothes. Barricade didn't have his heater on. I reclined the chair back as far it would go and tried to relax despite Frenzy's barely accepting stare.

"Barricade?"

Silence.

I sighed heavily and turned my head to look at Frenzy. "Where are we going?'

At first I thought Frenzy was going to ignore my questions too, but he surprised me. "A house. No huuumans."

I wasn't exactly sure where we were going, but as long as it was dry I would be happy. Barricade's clock said it was 11:30. I slowly reached out for Barricade's climate control, Frenzy's glowing eye on me the entire time. I turned on the heat and aimed the vents at me, then leaned back and curled up facing the window. I could still see Frenzy's bright blue eye reflecting in the glass as I let myself ease into an exhausted sleep.

I dreamt of another pair of blue eyes. I had barely spoken to him, but Hot Rod appealed to me. With my entire life missing identification, a history, and family, all I had were metal aliens… and I wanted to see him again. Hot Rod smiled down at me, his blue eyes vivid, but they melted into the bright red of Skywarp's. He towered over me threateningly and leaned down, his fist balled up and coming down on me. I closed my eyes in anticipation – but nothing happened. I opened them and a Police Mustang was parked in front of me. Its engine roared and it slammed on the gas, about to hit me-

I woke up with a start. Frenzy was poking my thigh fiercely. "Ow, stop, I'm up, I'm up."

I unhooked the seatbelt and glanced at Barricade's clock, reading 1:14. It was still dark, but it had stopped raining.

Frenzy suddenly tapped frantically on the window from outside. I hadn't even seen him get out. "Outoutout, we're heeer-ruh."

I stretched out for a few seconds until Barricade popped the passenger door open. I took the hint and got out, looking around in the darkness. Frenzy zipped around the car and pattered up a fairly nice looking driveway, setting off a motion sensitive security light, revealing a picturesque little log cabin in the middle of a large overgrown clearing. Trees surrounded us yet again. I started up the driveway as Frenzy picked the lock of the front door and disappeared inside, turning on lights as he went.

I peeked inside and the place did look pretty deserted. The furniture was all covered, and an inspection of the cabinets resulted in a couple old cans of soup. It had running water, at least. I went into one of the two small bedrooms and found a pair of gray sweatpants and a plain whitish t-shirt to fit me. Frenzy was zipping from room to room, inspecting every little decoration before moving on.

The little log cabin had a washer and dryer, so I threw the stiff and dirty clothes I was wearing into the economical little washer. There was even a little detergent, so I poured it in liberally.

Afterwards I went to the bathroom and found some shampoo and soap. I jumped into the shower and went on to scrub off the sweat, dirt, and utter madness of the last day. I took my time even though the water was cold. They'd turned off the water heater when they'd left, apparently. I got out and dried off, then pulled on the sweats and tee.

I walked out of the bathroom still drying my hair with a thick white towel. I switched the clothes from washer to dryer and went to the living room. It was surprisingly big with a high ceiling and huge windows. An impressive deer head decorated the wall over the mantle. The best part, however, was the big-screen TV. I settled into a squishy leather couch after peeling back its dusty cover and picked up the remote. It came on and I started flipping through channels, finally settling on a comedy marathon. I was laughing at one of the better jokes when I heard a scratchy laugh from the leather armchair.

Frenzy was watching standup. He was _enjoying_ standup. I smiled and looked back to the TV screen. I fell asleep at some point, and I dreamt of Hot Rod again. He didn't turn into Skywarp this time.

I woke to bright light shining in from the big windows. Frenzy was watching me from the doorway to the kitchen.

"Clothes in the drrrrryer. Get go-go-going, Skywarp says-_zuh_ to take you shopping."

"Shopping? How will we pay?"

Frenzy seemed to smile, but his pointy little face was hard to read. He reached up to his chest and pulled out two cards. One appeared to be a Visa credit card, and the other was a driver's license with my picture on it. I was smiling, my hair was a wet mess, and I was in the white tee, so he must have taken it last night. My name read _Bravura Person_. "Rrrigged. No limit."

"Oh," I said, smiling despite my conscience. "Can we go to the mall?"

"Ask 'Cade."

My spirits had lifted with the prospect of going out shopping with an unlimited card. I went to the dryer humming cheerily, ditching the comfy sweats for my own clothes. To my dismay the white shirt was still stained so I kept the white tee, but the jeans looked all right. I walked out of the laundry feeling refreshed and ready to go. I got a warm juice box from the pantry and went out the front door where Barricade and Frenzy were waiting. Barricade didn't smack me with the door this time.

* * *

Edited March 10th, 2010


	6. To the mall, James

I don't own transformers. Too bad. Yep, Barricade is practically a soccer mom this chapter :) I JUST moved into my college dorm. It's a new experience but we'll see how this goes! This chap is more of a down moment, it's just how life is, none of the guns blasting stuff :) There will be a taste of that next chapter! Xoxox

* * *

Barricade grudgingly agreed to go first to a mall, and then a grocery store. Frenzy babbled the directions to the bigger Decepticon. As soon as he was finished with his verbal explosion Barricade peeled out of the driveway and in a matter of seconds he'd reached speeds that made me afraid to look at the speedometer. I clicked my seatbelt and tried to trust him.

While Barricade was breaking the speed limit Frenzy dragged an apple computer from under the driver's seat. It matched his alternate form exactly. Was that not weird for him at all? He tapped away like a little caffeine addict

I leaned over to try and see what he was doing, but he jealously turned the screen away and glared at me accusingly. I threw up my hands innocently and turned away to look at the green blur out the passenger window.

It wasn't long before he stopped his rapid-fire keyboard torture, and shortly after that he gave me his trademark poke to the thigh. I gave him a blank stare. He was holding the laptop out to me.

"Rrrread it."

I took the laptop curiously. On the screen was a return e-mail from an electronics store.

Dear Ms. Person (_Really, could he have been more creative with my name?)_

We received your order and payment. We are happy to report that item #24671 is in stock and ready for pickup at any time. Thank you for your business!

John Jackson

Personnel Management

I looked at Frenzy curiously. "Am I supposed to pick something up?"

"Cell phone. Gotta-gotta alter it to on-only take calls on special wavelength. Use for emerrrgencies."

"Oh. No text messaging?"

He glared at me so snatched his laptop back, angling like a flimsy shield.

We were out of the thick trees now and there were occasional houses built near the road. Barricade drove along nearly empty country lanes until he found a highway. He entered on, but traffic was terrible. Everyone slowed down when they saw him, and in frustration he flipped on his lights and siren. Magically traffic parted and he blasted through, once again inspiring fear in every sensible inch of me.

He exited in a busy town a few miles down, finally turning into a huge mall parking lot. He pulled up to the front entrance, and Frenzy grabbed my attention again. "Get phone first-first thing, bring back."

I nodded, making sure I had my fake cards, and stepped out of the car. Barricade stayed where he was, and when I glanced back in the car Frenzy was a laptop in the passenger seat. A strange man with a mustache was sitting in the driver's seat. I started, and then pounded on Barricade's window.

"Who is that in there? Hey! What are you doing in there? Do you realize this is a cop car?"

The man turned to look at me and I felt a chill run down my spine. His eyes were flat somehow. I'd never understood before what it meant for someone to seem soulless, but that man did. The window rolled down and Barricade's growl came from his mouth. "It's me. Get the cell phone."

I stepped back in surprise, and as I stared his body flickered. "A hologram…?"

He looked annoyed now. "Go!"

I backed away more. "Ok, ok… I'll be right back."

I came back ten minutes later, and Barricade was still parked out front. Traffic was being forced to weave around him. His window rolled down as his hologram glared at me. "Took you long enough. Give Frenzy the phone."

I put the box in the car and Frenzy transformed to his spiky robot form. He sliced open the box, took out the phone and immediately popped it apart. His fingers were moving like mad, and I couldn't tell what he was doing to it. In a few short minutes there was a blue jolt from the phone, then he put it back together, handing it back to me.

"Keep it with you at all times," Barricade said. "It will never need to recharge. Frenzy has entered frequencies for both Skywarp and us to the contact list. Only call me in an emergency, or I'll give you an emergency."

I smiled and put the phone in my back pocket. "No problem. I'll be back in a little bit." I turned and went into the mall to begin my shopping spree.

I'll admit, I like shopping, and an unlimited credit card I wouldn't have to pay off was absolutely thrilling. I went from store to store buying things that I needed like clothes, a wallet and a purse, and things I didn't like jewelry, perfume, and ridiculously overpriced lingerie.

I got a smoothie and a slice of pizza from the food court, and then decided I needed to drop off my current haul. I went back out the entrance I came in, lugging my bags, but Barricade was nowhere to be found. I looked around in dismay. Pulling out my phone, I considered the risk, then flipped it open and checked the contacts. Barricade was out of the picture, so I scrolled to the second name and called Frenzy. He answered immediately.

"_Ready?_"

"Yeah, I can't carry more stuff. Will you pick me up?"

"_Coming._"

In a few moments Barricade roared around the corner, his wheels screaming to a stop in front of me. The trunk popped open, and I went around to throw everything but my new purse in.

"Ok! Groceries now?"

Surprisingly Barricade, not Frenzy, answered, "Yes."

The passenger door popped open as I came back around the side, and I slid in. Frenzy was laptop form again, so I set him gingerly on my lap. Barricade gunned his engine and started out of the parking lot, and I snapped the seatbelt in paranoia.

Frenzy's little laptop body was too hard to resist, so despite my fear of his steak-knife robot mode I quickly flipped open the screen. It lit up to show wallpaper with the Decepticon logo.

"Hey Frenzy, do you have Internet access?"

"Why you-you-you want it?"

"I just want to look at the news."

At that, an Internet browser came onto the screen without my prompting. It was on but I wasn't exactly interested in that kind of news. Into the google search space on the toolbar I entered _missing persons._

The background went white and refused to load. I tapped Frenzy's monitor. "Hey, did you get cut off?"

"Why you looking forrr that?"

I frowned. "It's none of your business."

"Trying to find your old-old name. Past notTUH important, Skywarrp owns you. Won't let you look."

Disappointment welled up in me like a spring and I had to fight back bigger feelings of resentment. "I just want to know."

"Don't care. Have orrrders."

I slammed Frenzy shut and tossed him onto the driver's seat through Barricade's hologram, which was still staring stiffly straight ahead.

We got groceries and I almost considered running away, but fear of being alone in the world prevented me. What if I was alone _before…_? Also, intrigue had me hooked on these alien robots, and I wanted to see what would happen if I stayed. So I went back to Barricade with a paper bag full of food.

We made the drive back to the cabin hideaway in silence. Barricade dropped the hologram when we got further into the country and Frenzy transformed back to his robot mode. He wouldn't look at me.

* * *

Edited March 12, 2010


	7. Inked

I don't own Transformers. I am really, really excited :) I just finished chapter 9, but it's going through the same rigorous editing that all my stuff gets. (bb 2010: haha…) 8 and 9 should be up by tomorrow night or so :) xoxox

* * *

The log cabin had a kind of clubhouse appeal, ideally placed in the middle of a thick forest, but the fun quickly faded. Frenzy and Barricade barely spoke to me, and only if spoken to. Barricade would not let me drive him, but he did seem to enjoy my admiring inspection. Mustangs were my second favorite kind of car. I couldn't remember my favorite, but that would probably come with time. Like my memories might come back.

Frenzy sometimes let me use his alternate mode to get on the Internet, but any time he suspected that I was trying to learn more about my condition or myself he would cut me off. I was limited to news feeds and games, until I got tired of them. He would often take control of the better games and I would have nothing to do but watch him beat level after level.

When the boredom was really starting to drain me, I asked Frenzy where Skywarp was.

"Checking whole planet for new arrivals."

"What if he doesn't find anyone? What if they never come?"

"Then he has gotta-gotta make a plan. Let Skywarp worrrry about it."

I sighed and went out the back door of the cabin to practice some aikido rolls in the thick grass. I did as many repetitions as I could stand then tried to practice the walking kata, but my heart wasn't in it. I gave up and turned around to see Barricade's nose poking around the side of the cabin.

"I smell bacon…"

The engine revved and he rolled around the corner. I watched him coming and coincidentally, the thought occurred to me that I had never seen him transform.

He rolled clear of the house and abruptly he started to shuffle. I was in respectful awe as I tried to enjoy watching a transformation _without_ complete and utter shock in my system for the first time.

I was a little taken aback when he was done. His face looked incredibly cruel, with bars that looked like sharp teeth around his mouth, augmented by his forcefully glowing red eyes. I was suddenly nervous about how I'd been treating him.

He leaned down to me and my heart started pounding. I expected him to snatch me up and suck out my blood or something monstrous like that, but all he did was ask, "Are you in need of repairs?"

I couldn't answer. My throat had tightened up, and the close up view of him was not helping matters. I couldn't explain my instinctive fear of him, but it was shaking me like a dog with a chew toy. My knees weakened and I slid to the grass.

He frowned, even scarier than his worry, probably concerned about what Skywarp would do if he found out I got sick or died in the cop car's care. He leaned back and turned to the house. His roar of "Frenzy!" would have knocked me down again if I weren't already as limp as a rag doll.

Frenzy exploded out an open window, landing with all his little steak knife points out and his stance on the defensive until all he saw was his big friend and his bigger headache.

"What's wrrrong with itAH?"

"I don't know, I saw it rolling around and pacing without going anywhere. Then its olfactory sensors malfunctioned. Now it won't get up. I think it's broken."

I was staring at the dirt, trying to control my fear. It was stupid and irrational. I had liked him before, until I saw him like this. It occurred to me that maybe I had seen him before, but my memory wouldn't give me the information. I forced myself to look up at Frenzy, and then Barricade.

"Have you ever seen me before this?"

Barricade's face gave away nothing. "All you humans look alike."

I looked at Frenzy, but all he gave me was a blur of intelligible nonsense. As soon as he was finished he turned and dashed back into the house through the door, slamming it shut behind him.

"Are you going to live?" Barricade had backed off, speaking with a weary non-concern.

"When is Skywarp coming back?" Despite my flying protector's harsh attitude, I trusted him infinitely more than I suddenly felt that I could trust Barricade.

"When he comes back."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Annoying little slave animal, it means that he'll be back when he's back. Go eat your food and be quiet."

I stayed where I was; I would have to walk around him to get to the house.

His face contorted and his voice rose to a snarling bark, snapping, "Do as I say or I'll squash you and tell Skywarp it was an accident!"

I lurched to my feet and streaked to the door, whipping it open and slamming it shut more forcefully than Frenzy had. I looked around for the little Decepticon, but he was nowhere to be found. I shuffled to the couch, completely drained after my adrenaline overload. I tried watching TV, but nothing was on and I realized I was starving for a little normal conversation, but the last few times I had tried to get Barricade to take me out, he had refused, stating I had everything I needed to function.

It suddenly occurred to me that Skywarp had wanted me to get a tattoo… Bingo. I would go get the tattoo, and try to convince Barricade to let me stay out for a while.

I hadn't had a reason to get dressed or try to look nice before, so I ditched the sweats and t-shirt I had on and spent some time to make myself nice. I convinced Frenzy to come out of hiding and got him to ink a perfect Decepticon logo on a piece of plain paper. Then I went out to ask Barricade.

He was parked in the driveway again. I approached him cautiously. "Excuse me, Barricade?"

No response.

"Skywarp gave me some… orders, before he left. He wants me to get a tattoo of the Decepticon symbol. I want it to be done before he's back and it'll need a little time to heal. Can we go to town so I can take care of it?"

His engine grumbled resentfully. "Fine, but that's it. I'm not taking you to that mall for three hours like last time."

"I'm a woman, what could you possibly expect?"

"I would be surprised if you could manage to pick your nose; don't expect me to understand whatever primitive fleshy issues you're talking about."

"Ten-four squad leader." I went over to his passenger door and got in. He was much less intimidating to me in his vehicle mode, and I felt myself faintly enjoying the Mustang. He backed out of the driveway and, revving his powerful engine, took off down the deserted road.

I clicked on my seatbelt and leaned back. Something about Frenzy's behavior wasn't right, almost like he wanted to hide something from me. I wanted to find out what, but Barricade wasn't going to let any clues go without a fight. I would have to chip away at Frenzy for more clues: anything to explain my irrational fear at the sight of Barricade.

Barricade found a tattoo parlor with a 'good record' and left me alone on the sidewalk in front of the shop. I went in, and because it was one o'clock on a weekday, I got to talk to an artist immediately. He asked a lot of questions about it, obviously bored and looking for something to do, but I told him it was a tribal symbol. He shrugged, and after I told him how to color it he got started.

The tattoo, on my left wrist, was very small, maybe a little bigger than a quarter. I didn't want it to catch attention on its own; I felt cut off as it was. The guy gave me some instructions to take care of it and covered it with some gauze. I paid with my card, and was about to leave when he spoke up from behind his counter.

"I know what that logo is. It's on the news all the time. You might think you're cool, but those guys almost destroyed Mission City and killed a lot of people. Whatever group of friends you're trying to impress isn't worth it."

I looked back him and smiled weakly. In an undertone I said, "It's not that simple," and stepped out the door. Barricade was gone, so I walked down the street away from the parlor and called him. He didn't answer. I tried Frenzy, but he was missing as well.

"Great. Maybe they abandoned me. Hope the pound doesn't catch me…"

I borrowed another store's phonebook to call a cab, and then realized I didn't know where I wanted to go. Instead, I went out to the bus stop on the corner and sat on the bench, hoping Barricade would come back. The day was warm, but cloudy, so I wasn't too uncomfortable.

I found myself daydreaming about meeting Hot Rod again when I heard the screech of tires on concrete some ways down the street. I looked up, and before long a sports car whipped around the corner. It blasted down the street towards me and as abruptly as its arrival on the street, it slammed on its brakes, weaving a little and squealing to stop. I gasped.

_Here_ was my favorite car. An Aston Martin V12 Vanquish S, the most beautiful vehicle ever built. I would have preferred black, but it had a ruby red paint job with some tasteful yellow custom designs and it _still_ looked great. I stopped admiring the car long enough to check out the driver and groaned.

There wasn't one. The door popped open.

I jumped to my feet and held up my hands in front of me. "Oh no. Oh, oh no. I'm tired of taking rides with strange aliens. I've had enough. Go away."

A familiar voice came from somewhere in the car. "Bravura, you have to remember me. It's Hot Rod. Come on, get in now. Barricade is looking for me. I lost him but it won't last long. We can help you."

"Who? The Autobots?"

"Yes!" He was getting a little frantic and his engine revved. "Please get in," he pleaded. "I know they've tried to scare you. Whatever they've done or threatened to do, we'll stop them. You've got to trust me-"

I heard Barricade's sirens before I saw him. He skidded around the corner a short way down the street in front of Hot Rod. The Aston Martin barely had time to back up and turn himself around before Barricade was on him like a rabid dog.

I heard him call, "There's nothing I can do here. I'll bring help, Bravura!"

And then he was gone down the street. I sighed in admiration. He could do 0 to 60 in four seconds.

Barricade chased him to the intersection like rottweiler after a greyhound, then turned around and came back to me. The door swung open sharply and I got in without being told.

* * *

xoxox If you get a chance, look up a pic of Hot Rod's vehicle mode. He's lovely. More of him next chapter!

(bb 2010: this reminds me, I haven't chosen a new alt mode for OE Hot Rod… must fix…)  
Edited March 12, 2010


	8. Guns Blazing

Made friends in college today, was busy running around so haven't gotten a chance to work on chap 10... so i can post pretty fast up to 9. I'm starting 10 tonight :) Oh, and I don't own transformers. Xoxox

(bb 2010: I'm still friends with those friends. How cool is that?)

* * *

When we got home I leapt out of the Mustang and stomped to the house without saying a word to Barricade. He didn't try to stop me. I took my shoes off and threw them at the far wall in frustration. Stomping into one of the bland bedrooms, I locked the door behind me. I began to work off my mountain of frustration as quickly as I could by shadow boxing, jumping jacks, crunches, push-ups, and every other little torture I could think of.

When I finally collapsed on the thick carpet all I could think of was what a huge mistake I had just made; I should have gotten in the car.

I curled up on my side and fought back tears. I didn't want to live like this, trapped in a house in the middle of nowhere, being babysat by a couple of secretive robots. I needed a friend, and I needed to get out. The thought of staying in the same situation for any length of time was terrifying. Checking my phone, it was only a little after three in the afternoon at this point, but my exhaustion and despair weighed me down into a fitful sleep.

I didn't dream of Hot Rod this time. It began in the backseat of a car, listening to a man and a woman talking in the front. No, not just any two people. My parents. My mom and dad were discussing what had happened in Mission City the day before, garbage about robots and godzillas and whatever else, so I felt was better off staying out of it. My mom looked back at me and smiled.

"I know that you're worried about college, honey, but this is going to be the best experience of your life. You'll love it there."

I nodded half-heartedly. My dad was just beginning to go on about his glory days when we got in the wreck. A cop car had t-boned us, but the driver was inside looking completely unconcerned. Like nothing had happened.

My dad climbed out, furious, complaining that he had just gotten it waxed and now he was going to have to deal with insurance… When the cop didn't get out of his own car, dad started yelling at him about being above the law and to have a pen ready because he was in hurry.

Instead of getting out, the Mustang backed up a few feet, and to our shock, slammed our car again. This is where my dad threw in some obscenities. It was also when my dream of a fairly normal afternoon became a nightmare. The cop car transformed in front of the three of us. "Not one of those freaks!" my father roared at the sky.

Barricade was staring down at my family is absolute disgust. "Don't tell me about freaks, human! You don't know a _thing_ about _freaks_ causing you _trouble_. My comrades are all dead. All of them killed by flesh fanatics. My leader is gone and a fool wants to take his place and you talk about bad days! You think you're having a bad day? I'll teach you the meaning of a bad day!"

He took one huge step that seemed to stretch through time. I was in shock as his foot crunched through the top of the car where my mother was. She screamed piercingly, but it cut off quickly.

I was crying now, trying to find my mother in the smashed front, but all I could see was a bloody hand. I looked back at the monster outside the car, listened to my father screaming, and crawled out the other side. I tried to hide behind the totaled car. I watched helplessly as Barricade snatched up my father, still screaming.

"What's wrong human?" he asked, and shook him viciously. Like a dog with a toy. "Are you in need of repairs?" His rumble was sarcastic and cruel.

My father dangled between his silvery fingers. Dad couldn't even groan. He was unconscious. Or he was dead. To my complete horror, Barricade threw my father over his shoulder and had started to turn on me as I huddled behind the twisted metal coffin that had once been our car. He stopped when sirens started wailing from down a cross street. He growled and looked behind him, roaring, "Frenzy!"

A blur of silver appeared at the mouth of an alley, making a lot of noise. Barricade followed it into the alley, and I didn't see what happened after that. I was sprinting to the limp body of my father.

He was dead. Barricade had killed my entire family.

I woke up suddenly with tears in my eyes, but that hadn't been what interrupted my hellish nap. My phone was still resting in my hand from when I had checked the time. And it had vibrated. I flipped it open and to my surprise it showed a text message. I hit the green button to read it.

**It's Hot Rod. Don't let them see you reading this. Be completely silent. Your phone has a unique signal and I'm tracking you. Help is coming. Don't respond.**

I stared down in disbelief. Hot Rod was coming for me. He was going to save me.

I put my phone back in my pocket and pulled on my shoes and jacket before I stepped out of the bedroom as calmly as I could. Frenzy was on the couch with his twin laptop, watching TV. I put on my shoes and went out the back door. I took in a deep breath that did nothing to calm my fried nerves and pounding heartbeat and started practicing my rolls. Trying to act like I had before. I didn't know how long Hot Rod would be, but I wasn't going back in that house. I just hoped Barricade stayed where he was.

I rolled time after time and the minutes ticked by. I was starting to despair when my phone buzzed again. I pulled it out frantically and read the message.

**ETA less than two minutes. Bumblebee serving as cover fire. Be out front. As soon as I signal, get in. Don't hesitate. There will be shooting. Don't panic. We're going to get you out of this mess.**

I was gasping for breath now. Barricade would transform again. Like he had when he killed my parents. I shakily walked around the house, and he was sitting there as usual. I stumbled a little closer, walking into the lawn. "I know what you did."

"And what is that?"

"You killed them. Both of them. You enjoyed it. Blowing off a little steam, huh?" My volume was rising while I edged around him. Now I was backing away from him towards the road. "They didn't mean anything to you, but they were my whole world, you asshole! You _killed my family!"_

My timing was perfect. As if in punctuation, there was a boom and the concrete under Barricade's tires turned to dust. I looked where it came from and rushing into the clearing were presumably two Autobots, both roughly the same size. One was yellow and black, and the other was mostly red with yellow accents. Hot Rod.

They split up, and I heard Barricade transforming behind me. I ran for Hot Rod as fast as my legs would carry me, but somehow it wasn't fast enough. I saw a flash of black and silver as Barricade grabbed for me, felt him clamp down and fire raced up my arm.

"I should have killed you with them and saved myself the trouble!" He started to jerk me off the ground, but one of my rescuers shot him and he dropped me.

Adrenaline was the only thing letting me see through the unbelievable pain in my arm. I stumbled towards the red shape in front of me. When I was almost touching it, it turned into my car, my favorite car. The door was already open and I dove in, immediately regretting the force of it and howling over my broken arm.

The door shut and I felt the squeal of tires and the building of momentum. I blearily looked out the back window and saw that a yellow car with racing stripes was close behind us. Barricade was absent.

"Ditch the phone, they could use it to find you the same way we did." I obediently fished the phone out of my pocket with my good hand and pitched it out of the open window.

I was delirious with pain and the adrenaline was wearing off. "He's too lazy to chase us… he hated me. He killed my parents, Hot Rod. Just killed them after the Mission City battle because he was mad about how things were going for him. He crushed her like she was nothing. He just tossed my dad over his shoulder like a toy he didn't want." Tears were streaming down my face, from both pain and grief.

"Shh, hush now. Just save your energy. Bumblebee and I are taking you to a hospital."

I wailed in fear. "No. Don't leave me. He'll come back. Or Skywarp. Please don't leave me."

"We won't leave you. You'll never be alone again. I'll stay."

"Promise?"

"I promise you."

* * *

Edited March 12, 2010


	9. Getting Into You

Ahh, classes start tomorrow. I might finish chap 10 tonight, so hopefully it'll be up tomorrow :) And for the person who said the James Bond Aston Martin is better, here are some reasons why I chose the vanquish s. 1) The style of the entire car screams superior without trying to be too flashy. 2) It's a modern classic 3) The James Bond AM made me want to do the driver, and I have to be teen friendly in this fic :) besides i don't want to work out the anatomical issues there :) Anway, enjoy :) xoxox

(bb 2010: ok, so I still use smilies… but holy cow that was a lot of smilies.)

* * *

My time in the emergency room was short; Essentially, they put my broken right arm in a cast. When they had prompted me to pick a color, I had demanded red without thinking about it. The doctor gave me a pain shot and after about an hour handed me a bottle of pills (somebody had me on the fast track) and told me I could go.

A nurse led me out the door and to the red Aston Martin in the parking lot. "Look at that car!" she exclaimed. "Your boyfriend must be loaded! Too bad he's so terrified of hospitals. He wouldn't even get out of that thing!"

"He's too big to fit in the hospital," I murmured as I struggled to open the car door against my drug-induced torpor.

"That's right dear, your boyfriend is too big for hospitals." She opened the door for me and helped me in. I melted into the warm seat in relief and I heard her mutter, "Drugged up kids…"

The car pulled away from the curb without any unnecessary revving. Somehow the interior seemed smaller than before, so I looked over at the driver's seat. A brown haired man in his twenties was driving. I watched him until he looked at me with bright blue eyes, and we both smiled.

"Thank you."

"It was nothing."

"It was everything to me."

"Try to rest. We can talk when you're feeling better."

I looked away from the hologram and watched the road, letting the painkillers ease me to sleep. It seemed to me that just seconds later, something was waking me up.

Metal fingers closing around me sent me into an instant mental panic, but my medicated body would barely respond.

I pushed at the fingers that were deftly and gently removing me from Hot Rod's seat. "No. No, please Barricade, please no…"

The huge fingers didn't crush me. Instead they cradled me, and I heard Hot Rod transforming. I looked up at the blue-eyed alien who was holding me.

"No, this is Ratchet. Barricade won't find you here, little one."

I stared up at the blue eyes, so inviting, like Hot Rod's. "Ratchet? You're an Autobot too? How many Autobots are there?"

Ratchet chuckled and I felt a slight nausea as he lowered me into Hot Rod's waiting hands without answering me.

"She'll be needing those painkillers soon, and for at least a few days, maybe longer depending on her tolerance. She should take them with food. You can give her that awful junk food Sam keeps leaving here until he and Bumblebee can get something better."

My arm was in fact beginning to hurt, a low dull throb that I could feel sharpening with every passing moment.

"Right, I'll take care of it. Do you think she'll need anything else?"

"Undoubtedly, humans are incredibly dependent on the group dynamic for survival. She can tell you what she needs when she needs it. You may consider grabbing a cot from the supply room."

"Thanks Ratchet, I'll let you know if something happens."

Ratchet nodded and turned away to some large project of his, of which there were many lined up against the walls. Hot Rod turned slowly, mindful of me in his hands, and carried me out of Ratchet's sickbay.

I drowsed as he carried me around, waking slightly as he gently eased me onto one hand while he picked up a cot from a vast storage room. Later, nudging me, he convinced me to get up and helped me find a glass, the sink, and the pills in my pocket. I took two and was sinking to the floor to go to sleep, tired body and mind, but he held me up with one finger, a box of dingdongs delicately offered between his thumb and forefinger.

"Eat. Just a little, Ratchet said it would be good for you."

"Ratchet doesn't know much about dingdongs does he…" I awkwardly managed to get into the box with one hand, tore open a wrapper with my teeth, and ate a couple unenthusiastically. I crunched the wrapper up and put it back in the box. The kitchen, which seemed to be part of a larger room, was sparse, clean with an antiseptic feel. I sighed dramatically and looked up at Hot Rod, my eyes pleading.

He laughed and put his hand down on the floor for me to climb into. "Lookin pitiful doesn't work on me, I'll have you know. I'm just an all around nice guy."

I smiled up at his merry eyes, feeling completely safe for the first time in my memory. "Know what I think?" He shook his head so I continued, "I think you're just a big softie at heart."

He groaned and started walking again, and I took a look around as we went. The huge halls, far taller than Skywarp if I had to guess, were dotted with random doorways, most of them monster-sized Just a few were small enough for a person to muscle open.

"Just because I'm absolutely charming, and handsome to boot, does _not_ mean that I'm a softie. I'm an absolutely awful enemy to have, you know."

"Yeah, yeah, I saw you back there. Doesn't matter, though. You were just doing what you had to, it wasn't what you wanted to do…" My voice was trailing off. The pills were acting fast on my nearly empty stomach.

"And how do you know that?"

"Your eyes."

"Ah, I would've said it was my expressive mouth," he said wryly

A new voice came from ahead. "Yeah, Hot Rod, plenty comes out of that big mouth of yours." We both looked for its source, too absorbed in our conversation to notice anyone else. The yellow and black Autobot from the rescue, Bumblebee, was standing in the hallway looking grumpy.

"Aw, come on Bee…"

"You told Ratchet and Ironhide that you did the rescue without bothering to mention that I was there to cover your fancy Auto-butt!"

"I forgot, ok Bee? I'll make sure to tell the whole base about how you saved us all from certain destruction, but I can't right now. I've gotta get our little friend settled."

Bumblebee looked at me with new interest. "Eh, it just means I dodge the protocol bullet, anyway. How are you feeling, Bravura?"

"Tired. Better than before. Thank you for helping me."

He smiled, all his annoyance disappearing. "It was my pleasure! If you start getting lonely up here, I'm bringing Sam tomorrow. You should meet him. He's great company."

I frowned. "Who's Sam?"

Hot Rod answered, saying, "Bumblebee is Sam's guardian. Sam is the human who helped destroy the All Spark in Mission City."

"Oh…" I was barely able to keep my eyes open now, and Bumblebee must have seen it in my face.

"You should find her a place to sleep Hot Rod, she looks like she's going to drop."

"Yeah, see you Bee."

We went on down the corridor, and I dozed off before we got there.

I woke up from a bad dream with a start, lying in nearly complete darkness. I say nearly, because I could see Hot Rod's eyes glowing not too far away. His eyes turned to me and gently he said, "You were crying in your sleep."

I sat up and reached up to my face. He was right. My face was wet.

"What were you dreaming about?"

I stared down into the darkness where my hands we now resting in my lap. "Barricade, when he killed them…" Tears started springing to my eyes all over again, and Hot Rod's blue eyes moved closer as he leaned towards me, one hand cupping my back supportively. I hadn't noticed; He was warm, not cold like I had always envisioned the robots.

"I can't do anything to change what happened, and I know you're lonely, but just remember that you will always have me from now on. I'll protect you."

I leaned back, thirsty for the comfort, and pressed the side of my face against his warm hand.

Neither of us moved for a long time, until Hot Rod shifted slightly. "Ratchet just told me it's about time for another pain pill. You want one?"

I hadn't even noticed my arm throbbing, so absorbed in being with Hot Rod that it had seemed to disappear. Now that he mentioned the pain, it flared to life. "Yeah, I could use some more."

He scooped me up, mindful of my arm, and an interior light came on. It revealed a huge room by my standards, but somewhat small by Hot Rod's. There were some gadgets and what looked like medals scattered around, but nothing that completely made sense to me. He carried me out into the brightly lit hallway and we went to the kitchen in companionable silence.

* * *

Edited March 12th, 2010


	10. How It Feels

First day of classes, and I'm not too worried yet :) This story is getting so darn fluffy! I gotta mix it up next chap :) Thanks for all the reviews, you guys are sweeties :) xoxox

* * *

The second time I woke up, I wasn't sure where I was. I was warm, but wherever I had lain down was hard and smooth. I slowly lifted my head, and sure enough I could see Hot Rod's blue eyes glowing somewhat dimly. I realized, by the closeness and arrangement that I must be laying… on him.

The more aware I became of my situation, the more I could paint the picture in the darkness. His arm was cradling me, nestled in the crook, and I was rolled against his chest as he leaned against the wall. My cast-encased arm was resting awkwardly across my stomach. I didn't remember settling that way, but then, I thought dryly, I didn't remember much else either.

I was staring off into the darkness when my eyes picked up an almost imperceptible change in the darkness, and I looked back up at Hot Rod. His eyes had brightened and he was looking at me.

"Feeling ok?"

"Yeah, no pain yet… Not that I'm complaining, but how did..."

"We end up like this? Well…" He trailed off into a faintly embarrassed silence, and then picked it up again. "You were crying again, and I couldn't just let you cry alone like that, so… And you stopped crying…"

I rested my head down against the warmth of his chest and sighed contentedly. "Thank you for caring so much." The hardness wasn't uncomfortable. There was a soft, durable feeling to him. Not that I would want to try punching him… But I was willing to trade complete comfort for complete security.

"I saw what they did to your wrist."

I brushed my wrist against my fingers poking from the cast, and the gauze was in fact missing.

"It was voluntary. Skywarp suggested it, and it was the only way I could get Barricade to take me to town."

His eyes were hard now, and I knew he didn't really approve, but he didn't say anything else about it. "The important thing is that you're safe now. Barricade will pay for what he's done."

"I don't care what happens to Barricade, I just never want to see him again. He doesn't have a conscience, so it's not like he would regret anything."

He thought about what I had said, and then grumbled, "Fine. I won't look for him, but I promise that if he comes near you ever again, he's dead."

"That's all I want to hear," I replied, smiling faintly in the darkness. My pain pills hadn't completely worn off, so I was still tired, but I didn't want to sleep anymore. Besides, I was hungry. "What time is it?"

Hot Rod looked a little unprepared for the question, but he answered quickly enough. "Four in the morning."

"I could use some more dingdongs."

"Can do, little lady." He shifted me to his hand again, and we went back to the sparse kitchen.

After wrestling with the little baggies and eating a couple more dingdongs, chasing it with a glass of water, I felt better. Not perfect, but so much better. I was looking through empty cabinets when I heard and felt the large steps of another Autobot in the kitchen. I turned to look and was indisputably impressed. The biggest one I had ever seen, no doubt about it, and he radiated an aura of confidence and understanding that _made_ me instantly trust him. He was colored in red and blue flames.

"Optimus-" Hot Rod started.

"I understand that you rescued someone from the Decepticons yesterday evening."

"Yes." Hot Rod sounded faintly uncomfortable.

"Why didn't you clear the mission with me first?"

"I… I just wanted to get her out of there. I didn't even think, Optimus. I'm sorry."

"You went into a dangerous situation without any backup. Would you consider that a wise decision?"

"Actually… yes… no… I just had to do it, Sir."

Optimus sighed, rubbing the bridge of a nose-like projection on his expressive face. "Did you endanger any other humans?"

Hot Rod stared down at the floor, and I got the impression that Hot Rod was much younger than Optimus. "No."

"There's that, at least. Even so, what you did is a very serious problem. I understand that you've been solo for some time now and the chain of command is difficult to readjust to, so I'm going to let this one go. Don't let it happen again."

"I won't, Optimus."

At this, the tensions lightened dramatically and Optimus turned his attention to me. He crouched low, intimidating in a fatherly way, and smiled. "My name is Optimus Prime. Welcome to Autobot City. If there is anything you need for as long as you stay here, feel free to ask any Autobot for assistance."

I smiled back. "My name is Bravura. Thank you, Optimus Prime."

"You're welcome."

With that he straightened up, nodded to Hot Rod, and left the kitchen. I stared at Hot Rod. "Who is he, other than 'Optimus Prime?'"

"The commander of the entire Autobot force. He's an incredible leader."

"Yeah, I got that impression. So you're not in trouble?"

"No, thank Primus. He didn't mention Bee, so he either doesn't know or plans to keep it private. Bee'll be fine, he's the baby."

"How old are you?" I asked, curious now.

"Um… you would call me old. Maybe even ancient. They make us pretty tough on Cybertron. I'm one of the younger Autobots on base. Bumblebee's the youngest. Ironhide is the oldest."

"Ironhide?"

"Our weapons specialist. He's a good friend to have in a tight spot, and he's been working with Optimus for ages."

"Oh. Am I going to meet the other Autobots soon?"

"Well, Hide is usually with Captain Lennox, and Bumblebee's usually with Sam. Ratchet and Optimus stay here, working on the base construction. I'm the only other one who's made it to Earth so far, so you've met most of our happy family."

"What about Decepticons?"

He was silent for a time, evaluating the reasoning behind my question, no doubt. "We know Barricade, Frenzy, and Skywarp are planet-side. Skorponok was severely damaged, but he could be in stasis healing. We believe Starscream left orbit in search of other Decepticons."

"Have any others crash landed?"

"It's difficult to say. It's possible to cloak when entering orbit, but it's too hard for most of us too handle. I know I lit up the sensors when I landed. Ironhide was on his way to meet me, actually, when he…"

I waited, and then sighed. "He's the one who fought Barricade that night, isn't he?"

"Not exactly. Ironhide shot at Barricade, but he ran. Old Hide's not as fast, so he came and found me in the hills instead."

"So the bottom line is, there probably isn't anyone else?"

"No promises, but right. It's a slim chance."

I sighed, looking around in dismay. The kitchen might be equipped and spacious, but its empty cupboards weren't ready for cooking. I swallowed a couple more pills with a glass of water in anticipation for the next round of pain.

I walked back to Hot Rod and he held his hand to the floor so I could climb aboard. We went back to his quarters, seeing as it wasn't even 5 am yet. When we got there, he pushed a large green pad in the wall, and from the side opposite the door a metal platform extended from the wall. I didn't realize its purpose until Hot Rod moved over to it and sat on it.

"Ok, my friend. You can sleep on your cot, or you can stay with me."

I was a little embarrassed to ask to stay with him, so I quietly asked, "Would you mind…?"

He smiled that charming alien smile. "Not at all. Anything to make you feel better."

"Then I would like to stay with you."

He leaned back onto his metal bed and settled me between his arm and his side. I felt small, but I knew he would be careful and his warmth was intoxicating. The heat and the drugs lulled me into a peaceful half sleep.

I couldn't be sure, but I thought I heard him murmur, "This must be how Bee feels about Sam."

* * *

Edited March 12th, 2010


	11. Anyone Can Cook?

I just realized I can't write at college. I looked back at the last two chaps, and wow do they need some work... But I wrote this one at my parent's house, so maybe it's better ;) Thanks for all the reviews!

* * *

I woke up curled against Hot Rod's chest plate, my upper body cradled in the joint between his chest and shoulder. His hand was warm over me, not quite touching me, and his eyes were dim. I slowly raised my body on the power of my left arm, my right dully throbbing. He didn't seem to feel it, so I whispered his name.

His eyes brightened immediately and he tucked his chin to look at me. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah. I just want to get up and walk around."

He obliged, giving me a hand to the floor, eight feet below. I started to the door and he slid off of his metal bed behind me. The heavy door slid open and we went out into the vast, empty halls.

We wandered for a while, Hot Rod humoring my desire to get around. At some point I got tired of walking and he picked me up. This time he set me on his shoulder, supposedly because I was off the drugs enough to hang on to him reliably.

While we aimlessly wandered the maze of featureless halls, it occurred to me that Bumblebee's friend Sam was supposed to be coming by today.

"What time is it?"

"A little after eight in the morning."

"Any idea when Sam and Bee are going to bring that food? I'm kind of hungry for something other than old dingdongs."

He stared off without answering for a moment or two, so I watched him, unbothered by the silence. This close I could make out the details of his complicated blue eyes and the subtleties of his face. It wasn't especially attractive up close, but friendly all the same.

Despite being something like robots, none of the transformers had quite the same face, I had noticed. Hot Rod did in indeed have an expressive, mobile mouth, but it wasn't typical to a human's; it was full of bright electrical lines, like Optimus Prime's, and the shape was off. His nose wasn't very pronounced, but the lines were smooth and symmetrical. I had briefly seen him wearing a kind of faceplate, battle armor, I guessed, when he and Bumblebee had arrived at the log cabin.

Finally, he answered. "Bee estimates another couple of hours, he and Sam just left home."

"Oh. He lives kind of far away, huh?"

"Yeah. We were lucky that he was visiting the City when I found you, or it would have taken a lot longer to set up the rescue mission."

"Did you know Bee before Earth?"

"Yeah, but we weren't ever really close. Bee did most of his growing up surrounded by military personnel, so he was always a little on the stuffy side for me. It was amazing I got him to help me without having Optimus give the all clear."

"I owe you guys."

"Nah, we only did what was right. Nobody deserves to be held against their will." He considered me thoughtfully, finally asking, "How did you end up being held by the Decepticons anyway?"

I explained the incident with the three men leading up to the discovery of Skywarp, all the way up to my dream about the murderer, Barricade. Hot Rod's expression was impossible to read, but he didn't seem particularly happy, especially when I told him about being kept as a 'pet.'

When I wound down, my story up to date, he reached up and held a finger out to me, which I gripped like an infant. " As Autobots, our principles include respect for intelligent races. Optimus is always saying, 'Freedom is the right of all sentient beings,' and every one of us is willing to die for freedom."

"Optimus seems like a cool guy."

Hot Rod chuckled. "You don't even know the half of it, my friend."

At this point my arm began to ache insistently and I had to ask to be taken to the kitchen for some more pain pills. I ate the last dingdongs with a glass of water and my drugs and Hot Rod took me back to his quarters, anticipating my lethargy. Of course, I was quickly sleeping deeply, and so I missed Bee and Sam's arrival.

I woke up alone on the cot. I shot upright in a panic and my arm groaned in protest, but I could see, finally. Hot Rod had left some light strips near the floor on, so I could make out the room vaguely.

I got up and went to the door. I was puzzled as to how to open it, finally settling for jamming my good fingers in the thin crack and pulling. After some sweating and straining the mechanism took pity on me and let me out. The brightness of the halls forced me to stop and adjust, I started off to the right as soon as I could. I didn't know my way around, of course. Most of my exploration in the featureless place had been on drugs.

I wandered a while, growing more and more discouraged when I not only didn't find the kitchen or Hot Rod, but even the human-sized doors and the other Autobots were missing. I sat down against the wall and buried my head in my hands to try and get my resolve back, but taking away the mechanical distraction of walking left my brain time to think about other things, like finding my old life. I knew some of it already.

It suddenly occurred to me, as I thought of Frenzy preventing my search, that his eyes had been blue, much like the Autobots. The other two Decepticons had red eyes and I was contemplating that when a light from above shown down on me.

It wasn't an angel, but close. Ratchet, the Autobot I met during my arrival, was looking down at me with his eyes and with a bright light, which crawled up and down my body.

"Bravura, isn't it? You seem to be healthy apart from your arm. What's wrong?"

I looked up at him in relief and got to my feet. "I'm lost. I don't know where anything is in here."

He nodded knowingly. "I've been speaking to Optimus about adding some visual landmarks to the halls. You humans don't have internal maps to follow." He leaned down and offered me his hand, much larger than Hot Rod's, and picked me up, then set me gently on his shoulder and started off.

"I have a question, Ratchet."

"Go ahead," he said, sounding pleased.

"Was Frenzy always a Decepticon?"

His friendly face hardened for just a moment, and then he put up a clinically sterilized expression. "Why do you ask that?"

"Well, I haven't met many Decepticons, but the two I have had red eyes. Frenzy's are blue, and the three Autobots I've met had blue, so… just wondering if it's a coincidence."

He was silent except for the sounds of his body moving and his feet rhythmically hitting the floor.

"I mean, it's ok if I'm not supposed to know, I was just wondering."

He looked at me appraisingly. "I'm not going to say you aren't allowed the information, but it might be best if you spoke to Optimus about it before anyone else."

I accepted his decision and tried to make myself comfortable. "So you're like the doctor?"

"I am the chief, rather, _only_ medical officer on Earth. I am responsible for repair and maintenance."

"That's cool. My mom was a doctor too."

The instant the words came out I froze, and Ratchet noticed. "What's wrong?"

"I just remembered it." I explained my memory problem, and Ratchet listened with a powerful interest.

"If you were an Autobot, I would say some energon lines were damaged in your memory banks, or maybe your core had been jostled out of its connection hub, but the human brain isn't something I'm familiar with. I'll study up on it and see if there's anything to be done."

Smiling was difficult, but I managed it. "Thanks Ratchet."

"And here we are," he said amiably. He offered his hand and then set me down on the floor by the kitchen door. "Hot Rod, Bumblebee and Sam are inside."

The news excited me and I went into the sparse kitchen with high hopes.

The smell immediately destroyed my dreams of food and company. Smoke was billowing from a pan, dwarfed by Hot Rod, who was hunched over it. A dark haired teenager, near my own age, maybe a little younger, was yelling at him and wildly gesticulating, grabbing handfuls of hair until he dramatically gave up , stomping over to Bee. Bee was watching and laughing, but Hot Rod looked pretty put out as he dumped the charred mess in the pan into the trash.

He saw me and his expression lightened into one of sheepish surprise. "Oh, Bravura… I was…"

Bee and the dark haired guy, presumably Sam, smiled. "He was trying to surprise you with some coal for lunch."

Hot Rod looked indignant. "It was supposed to be grilled cheese, not coal."

"Whatever it was, it was awful, big guy," Sam said jokingly.

I went to Hot Rod, flattered that he'd try to fix me something to eat. He looked completely put out now. "It's ok, Hot Rod, grilled cheese is a tough one. It's the thought that counts."

His whole attitude brightened and he smiled. "Oh! Bravura, this is Sam," he said, gesturing to the guy, who came over and held out his hand. I started to lift up my cast arm but thought better of it and held out my left instead. He laughed at my hopelessness and we shared a lefty handshake.

Hot Rod looked around, and then at Sam. "Wasn't a girl named Mikaela going to come too?"

Sam shook his head. "No, she and her mom are on vacation in Hawaii. She'll be back in a couple of weeks."

"Oh, that's too bad." He sounded crestfallen.

Sam smiled at me and I could see a spark of goofiness in his personality. Then he looked back to Hot Rod. "She'll be back soon, it's only two weeks. She said she'd bring back souvenirs for everyone too."

"Can you make sure there are no magnets?" Bumblebee said plaintively.

"Don't worry, buddy, she said she'd bring you a coconut bra."

"A what?" Hot Rod asked innocently.

I giggled at the mental image and went to the fridge, popping it open to find eggs, milk and lunchmeat, among other things. In a pile on a nearby white counter were cookies, bread, some canned vegetables, and a box of dingdongs. I groaned inwardly and went about making myself a sandwich while Hot Rod daintily tried to clean the cooked on mess in the frying pan.

As I bit into my sandwich pickle juice dripped onto my shirt and it occurred to me that I didn't have any other clothes. My possessions totaled what I was wearing, and the fake cards in my pocket. I would need to clean up soon, and I could use some clothes. I brought it up to Hot Rod.

"Hmm. Well, I have orders to leave with Ironhide soon to check out the log cabin we found you in for signs of Decepticon activity, but I think Bee's free. Maybe they could give you a ride?" He made it into a question directed at Sam and Bee.

The pair exchanged looks, then turned back smiling. "Sure, we'll get you where you need to be, Bravura!" Bee said excitedly.

"Thanks." I went to a table and sat, contemplating my lunch, and Sam came to sit across from me. Hot Rod was talking to Bee in their robot language.

"You've had a pretty tough few days, huh?"

I looked up at Sam and smiled. "It's in the past. Everything has taken a complete 180."

Sam nodded, his body language agreeing completely. "That same feeling is what got me and Mikaela together, at first. We were the only ones who understood each other, after what happened at Mission City… That was, what, over a year ago?" This news startled me.

"A year?" My parents had died a year ago?

"Yeah, I know. It doesn't seem that long… But it was long enough for the novelty to wear off, and we ended up breaking up, but we're still best friends, mostly because of Bee. He's the glue. You've gotta love these guys."

"Yeah," I murmured. The revelation of how much time had passed was a shock. Bumblebee and Hot Rod were watching, and at this point they both came over and Hot Rod scooped me up, setting me on his shoulder.

"I have to go now, but I'll be back soon. Bee and Sam will look out for you ok? Couldn't have a better couple of guys." It sounded like he was reassuring himself. I hugged as much of his head as I could, then he set me back down and with a small nod to Bee and Sam. He left the kitchen with a confidence I envied.

I looked back at Sam, who was trying to stuff three dingdongs into his mouth at once. I exchanged a look with Bee, who shrugged helplessly.

* * *

Edited March 13th, 2010


	12. Missing Something

Whew, this was a fun chap to write.

Just to make me feel better, here is roadmap of Bravura's travels: She starts off in, let's say, Texas (rocky flat ground, and hot, plus the 'accents'.) Skywarp moves her to the western foothills of the Rockies. They fly west after Hot Rod to meet 'Cade, who drives her to NV. Hot Rod takes her to Autobot City in west NV.

* * *

There. I feel good now. Enjoy!

I scrunched down in my seat, wishing I could disappear. Bumblebee was blasting down the highway and his speakers were roaring the most annoying song I had ever laid ears on.

_Sweet little bumblebee!_

_More than just a fantasy!_

_Doo doo doo da doo daaa daaa!_

_Doo doo doo da doo daaa daaa!_

Sam was singing along blissfully, and I didn't have the heart to ask him to change it. I was bursting with relief as the song wound down. The radio crackled for a moment, then-

_Doo doo doo da doo daa daa!_

_Doo doo doo da doo daa daa!_

I sighed heavily and tried to find my place of Zen as I stared out the window. The second round finally stopped and Bee switched to a pop station, allowing my straining nerves to finally relax.

It surprised me when Sam asked, "So, you and Hot Rod?"

I tried hard not to blush and kept my face turned to the window. "What do you mean?"

"Well… It seems like the Autobots like having someone to protect, like me and Bee, and Ironhide and Captain Lennox. Now you and Hot Rod, too."

I saw the innocence in the question and looked at Sam. "Yeah, I guess so. I really trust him."

"He seems to like having you around. Word of advice, they don't like automatic carwashes."

"Huh?"

"Bee hates the carwash. I have to get out the soap buckets and sponges and give him the full detail before he's happy."

"Oh." It hadn't occurred to me that Hot Rod might need maintenance as normal as a car wash. Sam suddenly seemed like a potential fountain of knowledge.

"Anything else I should know?"

"Um… Other than that they take care of themselves. Bee loves the drive-in. Action, mostly. Sappy chick flicks, too, sometimes. He and Mikaela will watch those day time soaps on TV for hours, but that could just be a weird Bee thing."

The radio cut out and Bee spoke up. "Sam, soaps are some of the best television humanity has ever invented. One show can have ten plots at a time, and the characters are a perfect example of human social politics."

"Bee, they're for housewives! Desperate middle aged women who vacuum during the commercials!"

"Mikaela likes them."

"She's different!"

"If they're good enough for Mikaela, they're good enough for me."

"You're not right in the head, Bee."

The pop station switched back on and Sam crossed his arms over his chest looking exasperated. I couldn't help my smile. "You're like a married couple."

He started and stared at me with wide brown eyes. "Excuse me?"

"You bicker like an old couple. It's sweet."

He kept his unblinking eyes on me.

"It is."

"No it's not. We're like manly men arguing about manly things."

"Ok. Bee, are you two like manly men?"

"Sam is just grumpy."

I burst out laughing until tears were streaming down my cheeks, Sam glaring daggers at me even after I'd calmed down. Still smiling, I looked back at him after a couple of miles. "You know that was priceless."

"I'm not speaking to you for the rest of the ride."

"Ooook. Bee and I can talk about sappy chick flicks and General Hospital until we get there."

We did, in fact, discuss chick flicks. Bee had a thing for the Notebook, which I actually had thought was a little sappy, but I guess the 'intense loyalty through a lifetime' idea appealed to his military sense.

He was beginning to explain the last episode of Days of Our Lives to me when we pulled into a busy strip mall, much to Sam's obvious relief.

Bee parked and said, "Hot Rod asked me to make sure you two shop in as little time as possible."

"What's the rush?"

"There's still potential danger out there. Please just humor me?"

I sighed and got out, running my finger along the edge of one of the cards in my pocket. "We'll hurry, Bee."

Sam and I walked into a couple of clothing shops, picking up things as we went. The only things I tried on were jeans and shoes, and I did it as quickly as I could. I trusted the tops to fit. I paid with the fake Visa, which still worked, to my relief. I wasn't totally in accord with Sam's choices in style, but I wasn't really paying for them, so I bought them without arguing about it.

I was trying on a pair of sneakers when Sam's phone rang. He picked it up, frowning at the number on the screen, but he answered. "Yeah?"

He stood in silence, his posture quickly stiffening and his eyes connecting with mine, trying to communicate his urgency. I caught on immediately and dropped the new shoes, shoving on my older pair and tying them before he was finished. As soon as I was done he grabbed my arm and led me out of the store, leaving our bags.

"What's wrong, Sam? Who was that?"

"One of your old friends."

A tremble sent itself down my back. "Barricade?"

He shook his head, waving his arm from the sidewalk to get Bee's attention. Bee's engine started from across the lot and he was starting for us when I read a familiar rumble from far away. The blood drained from my face and my eyes shot upward. I saw him, still far away, but he had fired something-

"It's Skywarp! LOOK OUT!"

Bee instantly transformed, still not close enough to us, his head tracking the missile. Somehow he twisted out of its way. A white Mitsubishi exploded and before the pieces were done falling Bee was over us. He looked down at us, and his face was wrapped in battle armor.

"I want you to run. Try to get help."

Sam, whose hand had never left my arm, tightened his grip. "No."

"Sam, please-" Bee cut himself off as another missile whistled its way towards us and we heard Skywarp pass off to our left. Bee picked up a small European car and held it up like a shield. The missile smashed into one of the small stores, missing.

"Why isn't he moving?!" I screamed to Sam.

Sam's face was pale, like he was thinking about something else. "He's protecting us." He suddenly started yanking me away from Bee. When I started to protest he grabbed my shoulders and stared me down. "If he has to worry about us, he can't fight. I'm not letting this happen again!"

My confusion melted away into fear as Sam dragged me to my knees behind a car on the edge of the parking lot. Skywarp had landed on the roof of one of the stores.

"Give it back, Autobot! The human belongs to me!"

"I don't have anything that _belongs_ to you, Decepticon! Go crash land!"

Skywarp snarled and launched himself at Bee, and my memory flashed back to a raining night, two huge forms falling off the edge of a cliff… Hot Rod losing. I gathered my nerve. Nobody was here to save Bee. I had to do this, to protect them.

I twisted out of Sam's grip and shot out from behind our cover as Bee shot a blue weapon at Skywarp, hitting him but not stopping the bigger robot. The crash of their impact was jarring and I screamed.

Skywarp looked up over his shoulder at me and started getting up off my friend. My fear and relief mixed into deafening white noise when suddenly Bee grabbed Skywarp's arm and slammed him to the side, surprising me with his strength. Skywarp snarled and raised himself over Bee, a huge gun point blank in the yellow Autobot's face. As the gun started to whine with heat, the Decepticon started snarling at him in their language.

Two things happened instantaneously. Skywarp fired, and his whole body jerked back, his arm pointing the weapon into the sky. The shot twisted off high into the air harmlessly. I stared in shock, barely aware that Sam was beside me again, holding my arm and panting.

"What just happened?" I whispered, but Sam shook his head.

Bee had pulled himself to his feet and backed away from Skywarp, who was staring around in frustration.

"I know you're here!" He roared, jerking from left to right, slashing his hand out randomly. "This is the last time you interfere, Mirage! This time I'll melt you into slag"

Out of nowhere came a confident, masculine voice jeering, "You don't have the bolts, kitestrings!"

Skywarp wheeled around, but not fast enough to fend off the invisible attack to his head. He hit the concrete, crushing several cars beneath him.

There was a shimmer in the air over Skywarp, and suddenly we could see a mostly blue Autobot, smaller than Ratchet but bigger than Bumblebee, pointing a huge gun into Skywarp's chest.

"I've been waiting for this moment, Decepticon. You've deserved this for a long time." The gun started whistling and he must have been close to firing when bullets started pinging off of the new Autobot's armor.

We all looked, and a couple of cops, regular humans, were shooting at him. Skywarp took advantage of the moment of distraction to swipe the gun to the side and leap into the air, transforming and blasting away.

Bumblebee and the Autobot both fired a few shots after him, and Sam was approaching the cops, his hands in the air. "Stop shooting! They're Autobots! Stop!"

When the dust had finally settled and cops had realized we were on their side, Bee introduced us to the Autobot Mirage.

He looked down at us, smiling rakishly. "Pleasure to meet you."

"Were you really invisible just now?" I blurted without thinking.

He smiled proudly and winked at me. "I am a master of disguise."

"Why didn't you contact Optimus?" Bee asked severely. "We had no idea you were here."

"Just doing some recon, Bumblebee. I think Optimus will be interested in what I have to tell him, by the way. We should get moving so you can show me the way to base."

Bumblebee sighed, looking at Sam and me. "You might want to get your things."

We went back to the shop, picking up our bags and leaving as quickly as we could. As we dumped the stuff in Bee's trunk, I asked myself how Skywarp had managed to find us out here… and it hit me. The card. Somehow, they had tracked the card. I pulled it out of my pocket and stared at the innocent blue and gray design on the front, then discreetly let it fall into an open drain. With that were headed back to base, a sleek blue Lexus LX 570 following close behind.

* * *

I know Mirage is supposed to be racing car, but the movie took liberties with the vehicle modes too, and as an SUV he gets to be a little bigger ;)

Thanks for all the great responses and reviews, you guys are just fantastic ;)

Edited March 19th, 2010


	13. Unearthing the Past Part 1

A nice mushy chapter for you guys :) The plot's going to move a bit at a time, Frenzy's past should be the chap after this, probably combined with some Mirage conflict :) Thanks for all the great reviews!!! Xoxox

* * *

We hadn't been on the road long when Bee's radio crackled to get our attention. "Hot Rod's blowing his engine trying to get back to base before we do," he said with a chuckle. "Should I tell him you're on the brink of death, Bravura, or will we leave him with his sanity?"

I giggled, adrenaline still working its way out of my system. "Ah, don't tease him. We wouldn't want to cry wolf."

"What does it mean to cry wolf?"

Sam stared sullenly out the window, deep in thought, as I told Bee the story and its moral.

"Hot Rod's the kind of guy who'd forgive you every time, if you could make him smile about it. If he's your friend, he's a friend for life," Bee claimed confidently.

"You really think that about him? He said he didn't know you that well."

Bee's voice indicated an invisible smile. "There are a lot of stories about Hot Rod, both in service and on his own. Ask anyone."

"He's like a celebrity?"

"More of a war hero, probably."

"You'd think he'd have an ego problem…"

Bee verbally shook his head. "Nooope. He's kind of a punk, but he's also one of the most selfless guys in service."

I looked at Bee's steering wheel suspiciously. "Why are you playing him up like this?"

There was an uncomfortable silence. "Just telling it like it is."

"No, there's a compliment and then there's brown nosing. Why?"

"Well… I mean, he's great in the field, one of the best for a last minute solo mission, but there haven't been any femmes in our time. He's not much older than me. So, we don't always know how to act around girls. I've had a chance to get to know Mikaela, but… He wants you to like him."

"What do you mean _like _him?"

Bee was silent.

"What do you mean, Bee?!"

"Just ask him yourself. I've said way too much."

Sam looked at me, smiling blandly. I gave him a fake, toothy smile and whipped my head around to stare out the window, scratching absently at my cast. It itched and kind of hurt and I wanted my pain pills.

The drive couldn't have seemed longer. When I saw the little mesa that formed the entrance to Autobot City, my heart skipped a beat. I didn't bother to ask myself why I was so excited; I already knew.

Bee drove up the long ramp to the top, built long before the Autobots. It was a rarely visited tourist spot. About halfway up, rather than following the wide curve around the mesa, he turned sharply into the rock wall.

I caught my breath and closed my eyes, never having been conscious for my entrance. When I didn't feel an impact and Bee drove along like normal, I slowly opened my lids to see the long tunnel leading deep down into the earth, the site of Autobot City.

It took a little less than five minutes to reach the main gate into the city. Sam and I got out of Bee's interior and pulled the bags from his trunk, watching as he transformed and punched a ridiculously complex code into the keypad beside the door.

It slid open and a blur of red nearly crushed me. Sam made an almost effeminate yelp of surprise, but he was safely out of range of the overanxious Autobot that was Hot Rod.

He scooped me up and stared at me, checking me for fatal injuries. "Bravura…" He murmured. Suddenly he looked at Sam, Bee, and Mirage, all watching with varying measures of discomfort. Mirage seemed to be suffering the most, and Bee was definitely the least. He almost seemed to be smiling.

Hot Rod transferred me to his shoulder and shuffled a little uncomfortably. "Um… Come on in, guys." He backed into the base and moved out of the way, letting the two Autobots and Sam in.

"Looking good, Rod," Mirage said casually. "Got parts to match the leg that got blown off, I see."

"Yeah, I got it fixed a long time ago." I could hear the slightest tension in his voice. We reached a crossroads in the maze of the base and Bumblebee gestured for Mirage to follow him to the left. Mirage, looking right at me, flicked an optic on and off, like a wink, and followed Bee.

As soon as they were out of earshot Hot Rod growled and I looked at him questioningly. "What's wrong?"

"Mirage."

I waited for an elaboration, but he left it at that. It wasn't long before we'd made it back to his… _our_ quarters. He set me down on his slide out bed and sat down on the floor next to it, making us a little more level. He gave me a stern glare.

"I'm never letting you out of my sight again."

"Nothing happened, Hot Rod. Skywarp was a fluke… He won't find me again. You don't have to feel like that."

"He could have killed you!" His voice was pleading. "Don't leave base again without me, please. I'll never forgive myself if I'm not there to protect you."

I smiled, touched by his caring nature. "Ok. I won't leave without you. But you can't follow me everywhere, you know."

"Yes I can."

"If I go overseas?"

"I'm waterproof."

I laughed softly at the image of Hot Rod trying to swim the Pacific, but just as quickly I thought of the rainy night in Skywarp's cockpit, and my expression must have darkened because Hot Rod gently slipped his hand behind my back. I snuggled back against him, and he rested his head on the bed next to me.

"You're thinking about them. The Decepticons."

"Yeah… I don't want to, but… They make up a big chunk of my memory."

His eyes brightened. "That reminds me, when you're ready Ratchet wants to talk to you. He said it was about your memories." I jerked up straight so fast that Hot Rod twitched just a little. He slowly stood up, saying, "I guess you want to go see him now?"

"Yeah, if that's ok."

"Sure is. Hop aboard." He held his palm down for me, and from there I ended up back on his shoulder. We walked to Ratchet's sickbay, not encountering anyone else on the way. Hot Rod tapped a short code into the door and we went in. Ratchet was hunched over a shapeless gray machine, a bright blue glow shooting from one of his fingers. He quickly saw us or sensed us and put out the torch, straightening to look at us.

"Ah, Bravura. I've been hoping to speak with you soon. I haven't been able to find a definite cure for your condition, but I may be able to relieve some of your curiosity. Hot Rod, could we have some privacy?"

Hot Rod hesitated, then turned sharply on his heel and marched out of the sickbay, the door sliding shut behind him.

Ratchet offered me his hand and lifted me up to an empty 'hospital' bed. "What I'm about to tell you is… significant. You may want to sit down."

I obediently sat down on the edge of the metal platform and waited.

"As of now, you don't know your original name, you're parents' names, or your place of birth, correct?"

"Right."

"Would you prefer to remember it naturally, or would you like me to tell you-"

"Tell me, please." I barely let him finish.

He looked me over for a moment, and then nodded. "Alright. You were born in Saint Francis Hospital in Charleston, West Virginia. Your parents' names were Jonathon and Sandra Phillips. Your father was the owner of several successful manufacturing companies and your mother was a doctor."

He trailed off, and I looked up from my lap. "Who am I, Ratchet?"

"You were given the name Camilla Phillips at birth."

I stared at him. "Camilla?"

"Yes. I triple checked your records."

I was dumbfounded. I absolutely detested the name. "It sounds so weak, girly. Like a flower."

"What's in a name?" Ratchet asked philosophically. I didn't know robots read Shakespeare. "You have a place here with us, and you always will. If you don't like it, you might keep your newer title."

I sighed. Skywarp had given me my name, but it was the symbol of my life changing. I had been given the name the same day I'd met Hot Rod.

"I think I'm going to be Bravura from now on. Thank you, Ratchet. It means a lot."

Ratchet nodded, helped me back down and walked me to the door of the sickbay. "If you ever need anything, just let me know. We should have maps and markings on the walls soon."

I smiled and waved to him as I left the sickbay. Hot Rod straightened up from leaning on the wall and looked at me expectantly. "Well?"

"Well… I was born in West Virginia, and my parents were Jonathon and Sandra Phillips."

"What about your name?"

"Camilla."

He picked me up and settled me on his shoulder. "Camilla? Really? Huh."

I patted his shoulder affectionately. "I know. That's why I'm going to stick with Bravura."

He looked at me expressionlessly, and then back down the hall.

"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned.

"He gave you that name. It's a pet name."

I drew myself up a little straighter. "No, it's a name that represents why he didn't kill me when he first met me. He thought I had skill. I impressed him, and it's why I'm with you now. It's a symbol of my new independence. I won't change it."

"Whoa, calm down. I didn't mean to put it down, I just thought… Never mind. Do you fell better knowing?"

I shrugged. "It's… nice, I guess. I don't have my memories back, but at least I know who they were."

We walked along the halls for a while, just being with each other, when my stomach rumbled. Hot Rod looked at me and smiled. "Kitchen?"

I leaned against his head. "You got it, big guy."

* * *

Edited March 19th, 2010


	14. Unearthing the Past Part 2

I don't own transformers. Too bad. Thanks for the detailed explanation about Sam's location! You guys are just so darn helpful :) Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, you make me wanna do this right :) xoxox

* * *

_Ping, pong, ping, pong, ping-_

"It's not fair!" complained Hot Rod as the little white ball zipped past his paddle. "I'm a lot bigger than you, so I can barely see the ball."

Hot Rod and I were playing ping-pong in the vast community rec room deep in Autobot city. There were several human sized games, like pool, foosball, and ping-pong, as well as larger unfamiliar Autobot games towards to back of the huge hall. Bumblebee, Sam, and Mirage were crowded around a big screen, watching a wrestling match.

"Whatever, Hot Rod. I'm using my left hand, so we're even."

"What does that have to do with it? Left is just as good as right."

"Not for most people. Our brains kind of wire for one hand or the other. Usually it's right, but sometimes left. It just means we're better at using one side than the other for certain things, and I happen to be right handed."

"Oh. Still, at least the ball's the right size for you," he said sulkily.

Mirage perked up from his blank stare at the TV. "You think it's that big of a deal, Rod?"

Hot Rod grumbled under his breath.

Mirage laughed. "Yeah, it is just a game, but I bet I could show you how it's done."

"I'm not playing ping-pong with you."

Mirage shrugged. "I'll play with Bravura. May I?"

Hot Rod looked at me expressionlessly, and I got the impression that what I said to Mirage was going to be a big deal to him. I couldn't just say no to Mirage, though, it would be rude.

"Um, sure…?"

Hot Rod lurched up from his crouch at the ping-pong table and stalked to the TV. As he and Mirage passed, Hot Rod hissed something Cybertronian to Mirage, and Mirage snapped something back.

Bumblebee looked back. "Cool it, you two. It's just a game."

Hot Rod shrugged violently and sat down on the floor by Bee. I couldn't see Sam; He was perched on Bee's lap somewhere.

Mirage knelt down by the ping-pong table and picked up a paddle, smiling winningly. "Just hit the ball back to you, right?"

"Right. If you miss, I get a point, and vice versa."

"Got it. Ladies first!"

I served the little white ball across the table and Mirage hit it back. We exchanged it for a few turns, when suddenly he faked me out; His movements were so big, they were easy to predict, but the ball sailed left instead of right and he got a point.

He looked over his shoulder as I went to retrieve it. "I don't get what your problem is, Rod. It's not hard or anything. It's nothing compared to hunting turbo-foxes."

"Not all of us waste our time on helpless little animals, Mirage."

"You guys!" yelled Bee, who sounded a little frustrated.

Mirage looked at me and winked. "Ready to go again?"

I served again, and this time I got a feeling of accomplishment as the ball missed his paddle by centimeters.

I smiled at Hot Rod, who gave me a thumbs-up before turning back to the TV.

Mirage held up his hands. "Can't win 'em all! Best two out of three?"

I grinned, more confident now. "Sure, one more time."

In less than a minute, I watched the ball rolling behind me, and Mirage was looking satisfied with himself.

I fetched the ball and left it on the table. "Good game."

Mirage nodded, and I went over to Hot Rod. Mirage followed me.

They had changed the channel to a daytime soap, much to Sam's protests. Hot Rod seemed interested enough and Bee was quickly explaining the multiple plotlines. I inspected Rod's lap, trying to figure out how to climb up with one arm, when he looked down at me. "Need a lift?"

"I wouldn't mind."

He gently picked me up and set me on the leg closest to Bee as Mirage settled down on his other side. I leaned back against his body, still surprised at his warmth, and tried to get into the catfight on the TV screen.

Watching one of them accuse the other of shadiness in the past reminded me that I'd never gotten the chance to ask Optimus about Frenzy. Bee had mentioned that he planned on debriefing everyone later, but I would need to talk to him in private. If I was right, Frenzy was not at all who he seemed.

When the episode was over and I was hopelessly confused, Mirage got up. "I hate to miss out on the next gripping television show, but I need to go ask Optimus some things. Thank you for the game, Bravura."

I steeled myself against Hot Rod's jealously and slid off his lap, waving to Mirage.

"Wait," I said abruptly. "I need to talk to him too. Can I hitch a ride?" True to my prediction, Hot Rod made a strangled noise.

"But- I can take you, Bravura."

Mirage was looking smug as he said, "It's perfectly fine, Hot Rod. I'm heading to the same place. Stay and watch your femme TV."

I could see Hot Rod's fists clenching. "Fine. Go with _Mirage._" He said the name as if it were an insult.

I watched him uncertainly for a moment, but walked to Mirage, who picked me up and set me on the shoulder _not _crowded by his giant gun. We left the rec room and started down the winding halls.

"What do you see in that upstart?" Mirage asked suddenly.

I rolled my eyes. Everyone seemed to think Hot Rod and I were something more than I was willing to admit. "He's my friend."

"Are you sure that's all? He seems to have other ideas on the subject."

I looked at the side of Mirage's face sharply. "What did he say?"

He laughed and looked sidelong at me. "Nothing, he didn't say a word. It's the way he acts about you. Don't you see it?"

I looked down at the floor, twenty feet below. "Well… Sort of, I guess. I just thought he wanted to protect me."

"Fair enough, but you might want to see if there's something more to it. He can be pretty hot headed. How do you think he got his name?"

I laughed. "Yeah, I've already seen a little of that side of him."

Mirage nodded. "He's a pretty competitive kid, too. I know he thinks I'm trying to, I don't know, _steal_ you. That's just the way he is."

"But you aren't, right?"

"I appeal to females, I can't help it."

I smiled at his playful confidence and leaned back on my hands, trying to make heads or tails of the halls.

Finally he stopped in front of a large door, exactly the same as all the others. There was a glowing green keypad, which he pressed and spoke into. "Mirage and Bravura requesting private audiences with Optimus Prime."

A hollow voice responded, saying, "Acknowledged. Please wait."

We didn't wait long. The door slipped open and there towered Optimus. He looked at us both, everything about him fatherly and accepting. "Please come in," he said, moving back and gesturing us in.

Mirage set me down. "You go ahead, I'll wait until you're done."

I smiled and waved at Mirage, then walked into Optimus's… office?

There was in fact a huge desk set in the middle, towards the back. There were a pair of huge chairs arranged in front of, it and a metal ladder allowing a human to climb up the back of one of them. I couldn't exactly scale the ladder, however, and this must have occurred to Optimus, because he offered me a lift and set me on the thin platform on the back of the chair.

He sat in the other chair in front of the desk and looked at me expectantly. "Is there something you need, Bravura?"

I looked at him a little shyly. "Uh, Sort of. I was wanting to ask you… about Frenzy."

He watched me passively. "What would you like to know?"

"He… He didn't seem like the other Decepticons that I met. His eyes were blue, like yours, and sometimes he acted more like he cared than Barricade or Skywarp. Something wasn't right about him."

"You have suspicions about his origins?"

"Well, yes."

Optimus considered me, and the topic, for a long moment, and then finally said, somewhat sadly, "You're right."

I jerked my eyes from my shoes back up to his face. "I am?"

"Yes. Frenzy was an Autobot, once."

"Why… why would he betray you?"

Optimus shook his head. "Frenzy didn't betray us of his own free will. He was lost in the war, when Megatron employed a machine that… changed him. Frenzy was once a powerful Autobot warrior, very large and formidable. Megatron's weapon took away much of his sanity, turned him into a berserker. He's broken down in battle, his parts scrapped one piece at a time, so _many_ times that he was finally reduced to the size he is now. It's been a painful progression for us all."

"But… why don't you invent something to reverse it?"

"We tried, many times. It's simply out of our power."

"But don't you think there's still a chance that you could get him back?"

He gave me a patient look, and my frustration was tempered. "We tried for nearly three hundred Earth years to find a cure for Frenzy. We failed, and I will always be haunted by that failure. The best we can do now is to protect what we still have."

I sighed and crossed my arms. "I guess you're right… It's just… I saw the spark of something in him. He acted guilty about my parents, Optimus. Like there was some other part of him coming out."

"There may be hope for Frenzy, but it isn't our immediate goal. As I said, we must preserve what we have. Have I told you what you needed to know?"

"Yeah. Thank you, Optimus."

"You're welcome. I have to ask you, however, to refrain from discussing Frenzy with the others, especially Bumblebee and Hot Rod. They don't know the whole story, and it would make things more complicated than they already are."

I put my hand over my heart and looked up at his blue eyes, nodding, I turned to go.

"And Bravura?"

I turned back. "Yes, Optimus?"

"You should consider speaking to Ratchet about removing the Decepticon tattoo."

"Oh… right." I looked down at the purple and black image on my wrist. "I'd forgotten about it. I'll talk to him."

Optimus nodded. "Please tell Mirage to come in on your way out."

"Sure. Thanks again."

"Any time."

I walked out, the door sliding partially shut behind me. Mirage was waiting.

"All finished?"

"Yeah, I think so. He said to come on in."

He winked at me, a quirk I was growing accustomed to, and went into Optimus's office.

I was at a loss. Go wandering and get lost until someone came to find me, or wait for Mirage?

I didn't have time to choose. Optimus burst out of his office, closely followed by Mirage. They were speaking rapidly in Cybertronian, and they looked serious. Optimus looked somewhat pertubed, and Mirage seemed to be defending himself. Mirage paused to pick me up as they rushed down the hall, their conversation barely halting. Optimus was doing most of the talking in short order, Mirage asking what sounded like questions every now and then.

I had no idea what was going on and the two seemed pretty absorbed with their talk, so I simply latched onto Mirage and waited for them to get where they were going.

We were quickly standing at the gate to Autobot City. Mirage set me down and crouched to speak to me, his expression serious. "Bravura, Ironhide just reported a Decepticon signal landing in the northwest of the country. Optimus and I are going to meet him to check it out." There was a tension in his voice that told me there was more, but I couldn't guess what.

Then my jaw dropped. Another Decepticon? "You're leaving?"

"We're only gathering information. It shouldn't take long," Optimus said soothingly. "Will you set the locking system once we're out?"

"Uh, sure… But…"

"See you soon, sweetheart!" Mirage gave me a little salute, and then both he and Optimus were a pair of vehicles peeling out of the Gate. I went to the silver box built into the wall and opened it, then pressed the red button labeled **Auto-Lock**. When I shut the box again, Hot Rod was standing at the end of the hall, looking breathless.

He rushed down the hall, sliding down to a crouch when he came to me. "I thought he took you with him," he whispered.

I patted his wrist. "Nope, they just wanted me to lock the door. They're checking out a new Decepticon signal."

Hot Rod's expression darkened and he flipped his hand over for me to climb into. Shortly we were walking down the hall together, our minds running in completely different directions.

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Edited March 19th, 2010


	15. Love Knows No Bounds

PHEW! This was a major dialogue chapter... Once upon a time I thought I couldn't even attempt dialogue. Thanks for the reviews, you guys. This has been way more rewarding than I ever expected :)

Oh, and for the Skywarp fans who are feeling gypped, I'm very sorry. He'll come into the spotlight again, once I've had my fun writing for Hot Rod :) Enjoy!

* * *

Later, about two a.m., Sam, Bee, Hot Rod, and I were sitting and watching The Notebook through a movie projector against one of the walls. Sam had fallen asleep long ago, but I was still nearly conscious. Hot Rod and Bee were completely absorbed, occasionally murmuring things in Cybertronian to each other.

I was curled up in Hot Rod's lap, my eyes barely open. The movie was nearly over; the old guy was sneaking off to his wife's room, and Bee was giving a kind of monologue to Hot Rod.

As the movie came to a close, I felt Hot Rod's eyes on me. I saw out of the corner of my vision as he raised his hand up to me and hesitantly brushed the very tip of his finger against my cheek. I grabbed on to him as he started to move it away and pulled him back. Of course, he _let_ me pull him in, but all the same, I clutched his finger to my chest like an oversized teddy bear.

He whispered something I didn't understand to Bee, who made a noise of agreement. I opened my eyes more and turned to look at Bee, who was looking down at Sam with an expression I wanted to describe as loving. I rolled onto my back, still holding onto Hot Rod's finger, and smiled up at him sleepily.

"What's up with you guys?" I asked teasingly. "Did that movie make you all mushy on me?"

He waggled his finger ever so gently, rocking me side to side a little. "It did inspire me, but I guess I've always been mushy." He looked at Bee, who stared back for a moment and then tenderly picked up Sam, who had started talking in his sleep.

"No… dogs?! It's under my fingernails… didn't order high heels…"

I giggled and waved goodnight to Bee as they left the rec room, then squeezed Hot Rod's finger when he sighed.

"What's wrong, Roddy?"

"Since when do you call me Roddy?"

"Since a few seconds ago. Is it ok?"

He laughed. "In private, you can call me whatever you want."

We sat in silence for a long time and I was nearly asleep when he spoke up again. "Bravura, can I ask you a question?"

"Uh huh…"

"I… Do you think…? We're both very different people… Is it possible for us to… have a… real relationship? Like in the movie?"

I had grown more alert with each nervous pause. As he finished, I was staring up at him wide eyed.

"What do you mean when you say a real relationship?"

"Well, how they promised to be together no matter what, and they kept their promise to the very end. Do you think it would be wrong for us to make a promise like that?"

My arms slid off of Hot Rod's finger and fell to my sides, the cast clinking against his metal leg and sending a jolt up my nervous system. I must have grimaced, because he slowly pulled his hand back and it dropped out of view.

"You're talking about getting _married_."

He looked away from me, embarrassed by my disbelief. "If it's so upsetting to you, I won't mention it again."

"No! I mean… No, it just surprised me that you would think of it… Do you really understand what marriage is, though?"

"I looked it up."

"It's a huge commitment. The kind of thing you don't just dive into. And we wouldn't… be like other couples."

"What about Sam and Bee?"

I peered up at him. "Are you serious? Sam and Bee?"

"Well, yeah. Bee loves him, and Sam loves Bee too, he just doesn't know it yet."

I covered my eyes, my shock wearing off and leaving me worn out and threadbare.

"Do you want to go to bed?" He asked gently.

"Yeah… yeah, I need to be unconscious," I groaned. "This is all just too much. I need to sleep. I need my pain pills. I need _ten _pain pills."

"Do you really need them, or do you just want them?"

"I want them."

"Sorry. Ratchet warned me about humans getting addicted to substances like that, so unless you're in pain I can't let you take them."

"Pfft. He's a robot doctor, he doesn't know anything."

Hot Rod got up, his hand scooping under me and cradling my rebelliously limp body. "He knows enough, small fry. We're going straight to bed."

And to 'bed' we did go. In a few short minutes we were standing in our quarters. "Still gonna skip the cot?" He asked halfheartedly.

I actually considered the question very seriously. I didn't want to sleep on the cot, but Hot Rod's ideas had completely blown me away. I didn't know what I wanted. The only thing I knew for sure was that I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"Who picks the cot when they've got a big warm robot bed instead?"

He laughed faintly with relief and slid onto his platform to stretch out. He set me on his stomach, and from there I crawled carefully over his chest to his shoulder joint, just right for sleeping in. The lights flicked off, the only brightness coming from the glowing strip on the floor and his shining blue eyes.

His warmth and the relative darkness gave me some of my nerve back. "Hot Rod?"

"Hmm?"

"Doesn't the fact that we aren't even the same species bother you?"

He was silent for so long I thought he wasn't going to answer me. I'd given up when he quietly answered my question with a question. "What do you know about Cybertron's history?"

"Nothing."

"Ok. Long story short, there was a great war between the Autobots and the Decepticons over a powerful energy source, an energy source that gave our species life. The only way for us to reproduce was with the help of the All Spark or a femme. A female Cybertronian. Megatron tried to discourage us from ejecting the Allspark into space by… killing all the femmes."

I gasped. "That's awful…"

He nodded. "Without the Allspark, we had no way of continuing our species. Optimus saw the danger of keeping it, and so as a species we made a choice. Bee was the last sparkling ever created by the Allspark."

"Poor Bumblebee. That's a big burden."

"More than you or I will ever know. The worst part is that he'd never had a chance to fall in love. Neither of us had, really, before we came here. Most organic species don't like us, you know. Some were more our size, but… Completely incompatible."

"So you're saying you feel the way you do because there's no other choice for you?"

"No! That's not right at all. I feel like this about you because you make me smile, and you've given me something new to fight for. I want to fight for you and the life of your species, because you've… renewed my faith in our cause. You've reminded me why we fight. I want to be with you because of who you are."

I smiled despite myself. As lonely as I felt without my memories, I really would always have him on my side.

More to himself than to me he whispered, "One day, the Decepticons will be gone and we can be happy. I'm so tired of searching and fighting."

I ran my hand along the warm metal of his shoulder and he looked down at me with the same expression Bee had worn for Sam.

"How much do you feel that?" I asked curiously.

"Probably as much as you would… Maybe more. We're hyper-sensitive to keep us from destroying ourselves on our surroundings, or vice versa, according to the medics."

"Gentle giants."

"What is it that one of your presidents once said? Speak softly but carry a big stick?"

I sighed, relaxed as my nervousness drained out of my system. "Plasma guns may count as more than just a big stick."

"Not when your target is Barricade."

"I wonder if the Decepticon that landed today is going to start causing trouble."

"No doubt about that. Not many are as careful as Barricade and Skywarp have been about staying under the radar."

"So whoever it is may be killing people right now?"

"Optimus and the others should be there by now. If he goes on a rampage, they'll stop him. Maybe even kill him."

"How many are going to come here?"

"I can't honestly say I know the answer to that. Could be a few… could be dozens. Or hundreds. As long as Autobots keep responding to Optimus's signal, everything should be ok."

I didn't say it, but the thought of hundreds of Cybertronians battling with super-powerful weapons and technology on _my_ planet didn't comfort me much.

I looked up at his face, wanting to trust him and his people to protect mine. I just didn't know if I should. He met my gaze, and we just looked at each other for a long time. From my position in his shoulder joint I could hear his internal mechanics whirring as he lifted his other arm across his chest and gently stroked my back as I curled on my side.

"I know that I upset you earlier when I started talking about getting married. It's only natural that the idea is scary to you, and that you're still adjusting to living with us. I want you to know that I understand, and that I don't want to make you feel obligated to do anything. We just met a few days ago. We're friends, and until you want it to be more, that's all it will be. I respect you, Bravura. Skillful one…"

I could sense that he was speaking for his own benefit as much as mine, and all I did to answer was snuggle against the smooth curve of his shoulder and let myself close my eyes, his gentle touch soothing me to sleep.

* * *

Edited March 19th, 2010


	16. Just One Touch

I live on a dry campus, and I came back this weekend to my fridge full of bacardis. i am really hating this roommate thing. think of me when you sleep in your room. alone. lucky jerks. anyway i had fun writing this chapter :) thanks for all the great reviews!! xoxox

* * *

When I woke up I found that I was less than a foot from Hot Rod's dim, sleeping eyes. I was stretched on my stomach across his forearm, which was curled up towards his face as he lay on his side. My head was pillowed on my own arm, and my cast arm stretched over my head. My fingers rested numbly on his wrist.

I groaned, my whole body protesting the unusual angles it had taken overnight. I had no idea how we could have ended up that way, but I could think of worse ways to wake up.

His eyes brightened as he came out of his recharge. "G'morning," he mumbled. "What time is it?"

I reached out and brushed my fingers on the smooth metal of his cheek. "You're asking the wrong person."

"Oh, right… One second."

I watched his face as he looked up the time, noticing his eyes didn't take on the flat, empty look that Skywarp's had when using the Internet.

"It's a quarter after seven in the morning."

"We're up early."

He smiled at the plural and inclined his head closer until we were just inches apart. "We don't have to get up just yet."

"That depends. Any word on Optimus and the scouting mission?"

"Their situation is green. They're avoiding long range transmissions, so we won't know the details until they are back on base."

"Are you worried, Hot Rod? About the new Decepticon?"

"Nope. We still outnumber them, and chances are he's a useless little crony who doesn't even know that his leader is a piece of slag on the bottom of the ocean." I was silent at that, frowning at his growing anxiety. "Sorry," he finally said. "I didn't mean to put it like that. It's just that it really isn't likely he's anything more than a minor threat. Don't _you_ worry, ok?"

"I'm not worried. I'm hungry," I moaned, hiding my face against his metal arm.

"Then I guess we're getting up," his said agreeably. I slid off of his arm and spent a second orienting myself as he sat up and swung his legs off the bed. In a few minutes were walking into the kitchen. Sam and Bumblebee were already there, Sam rapidly downing some Lucky Charms while Bee read the back of the box. They looked up and Bee waved us over.

Hot Rod set me down by the table and I went to the cabinets to get myself a bowl. Bee poured me some cereal from the box he was reading. "Thanks, Bee. How'd you sleep, Sam?" I asked mischievously.

"Would've slept better," he said through a mouthful of horseshoe marshmallows, "if Bee hadn't kept trying to get me to talk about the movie. I didn't even see most of it."

"I knew exactly when you fell asleep, and you saw forty-seven minutes," Bee rebuffed. "I just wanted to discuss the reasoning behind the humans' emotions…"

"It's a movie, it's not meant to be discussed. It's not real."

I smiled. "I don't know Sam, it didn't capture millions of hearts by being ridiculously unbelievable."

"Are you kidding me? That's _why_ people love it! They don't want reality, they want fairytales." Sam was looking annoyed by this time.

"Sounds like it's three against one here, Sam," Hot Rod said amiably. "It's a good example of love."

"Yeah Sam, it's _inspiring_," I giggled, looking at Hot Rod as I said it. We shared a long look, but when we broke away from each other's gaze Sam was staring at us, his mouth hanging open with a rainbow marshmallow dangling from his lip.

"I didn't just see that."

"See what?" I asked innocently.

"That look. You gave each other The Look. You have a thing for each other."

I blushed at his bluntness and looked down at my cereal, poking at it with the spoon.

"It's none of your business," Bee chided Sam.

He shook his head incredulously and went back to eating his Lucky Charms, silent now.

I was mentally vowing never to never show my face again when the huge Autobot door slid open and Mirage stepped in, stopping and taking on an extremely relaxed and yet striking posture. "Guess who's back from the risky mission, younglings!"

I forgot my embarrassment and jumped up, smiling. "Mirage! Is Optimus back too? Who was the Decepticon? Did he see you? Was he any trouble? Did you-"

"Whoa, sweetheart, one question at a time!" He strode over and crouched down by the table, ignoring Hot Rod's dark stare. "Yes, Optimus is back. The Decepticon is unfortunately a flyer named Thundercracker. Not as wild as your old friend Skywarp, but he sure packs a punch." When my face read alarm, he patted me gently on the back. He must not have realized his strength, because I staggered a half step.

"Watch it, man," Hot Rod growled.

Mirage looked guilty. "Sorry, Bravura, I'm not used to organics so small."

I looked at Hot Rod, not understanding the force of his reaction but shrugging it off and smiling at Mirage. "It's fine. Did Thundercracker know you found him?"

Mirage shook his head in a very human gesture. "Nope, we didn't get too close. Skywarp was already there, debriefing, probably. Those two are going to be a handful."

Bumblebee stood up and Sam looked at him questioningly. "Sorry to be going so soon, but Sam has to get back before his parents ground him for 'all eternity.'"

I made a sound of disappointment. "Aw Bee, can't you let him take a cab?"

"Bee's the only maniac-driven yellow car I'll be riding in," Sam said smoothly, much to the other Autobot's feigned offense.

"I recall you saying I'm an excellent driver just a few days after we met, Sam."

"Yeah, and then you nearly killed us smashing through every broken down building you could find."

"It's called shaking off the enemy! There's a reason I'm the one with wheels."

"Yeah, so you could drive off the deep end…"

Everyone chuckled at this one, even Bumblebee, and it wasn't long before they were driving out the gates and back to their home lives. Mirage, Hot Rod and I stood watching the gates grind shut behind them. Mirage punched the auto lock and looked from me too Hot Rod and back. "So what are we doing today?"

I shrugged. "Ping pong?"

"I was thinking of something more exciting," Mirage said with a sly smile. "It's summer, the season when you humans are supposed to be outside, producing skin pigment and luxuriating next to the ocean. Let's go somewhere."

"Um, where could I take a couple of huge robots without getting noticed, exactly?" I leaned back on Hot Rod's leg as I watched Mirage think it over.

"Hot Rod," he asked finally, "Didn't Ratchet have an extra mobile holoreceiver in his sickbay? I've already got one, but if you could borrow Ratchet's we could go soak in some native customs with our little friend."

"It's a bad idea," Hot Rod grumbled instantly. "Especially with a new Decepticon to worry about."

"You know there's nothing they can track her with, Hot Rod. He probably doesn't even care about keeping a pet anymore, what with me around to keep him on his guard."

I did like the idea of getting out, and I was curious to see what Mirage was talking about when he said 'holoreceiver.'

"C'mon, Hot Rod…" I wheedled. "Like Mirage said, I should be outside having fun. Just for a little while?"

"But… Bravura, it's dangerous…"

"With two big strong Autobots who would be right next to me the _entire _time? I seriously doubt that."

"_We _wouldn't be with you. Two useless hologram receivers would be with you, and Mirage and I would physically be in the parking lot."

"Hot Rod, lighten up. I'll even mask us the entire time. Not even a flicker of a signal would leak for anyone to see. Seriously, let the girl out. It's like you want to cage her up."

"I would never do that!" Hot Rod protested fiercely. "I'm just worried!" He looked down at me, dismayed. "If you want to go out so bad, fine, we'll go."

Mirage and I shared a victory grin.

"I'm going to go get the holoreceiver from Ratchet. Be right back." Hot Rod barely finished before he changed into his Aston Martin vehicle mode and peeled out, racing down the long halls at a ridiculous speed.

As his engine faded away, Mirage sat down against the wall. "What crawled up his exhaust pipe, anyway?"

I shrugged. "He's just worried, that's all. Last time we went outside you had to bail us out, remember?"

"Vividly. You aren't worried about something like that happening again, are you?"

"Not really. I really just want a break, and to have a normal… well, half normal day. Thanks for bringing it up."

"Anything for you, sweetheart. Did you bring up the relationship thing to him?"

I blushed at the memory of the night before, and Mirage laughed. "You did! He likes you after all. How _do_ I know these things?"

"I… it's not like that. He's… He said he…"

"Don't worry, I won't pry into the details. Want to see my hologram?"

He reminded me of a little kid showing off his toys, and I eagerly latched onto the new subject.

He planted his hand sideways on the ground as if to shield something from me. After a moment I heard a loud buzz, which quickly melted back into quiet. He raised his hand, and there stood a tall and handsome dark haired man who looked like he was in his mid-twenties. He had a perfect tan and his Autobot-blue eyes stood out piercingly. He folded his arms across his chest and smiled, showing bright white teeth.

"Like it?"

"It looks so real," I murmured, walking over to him to inspect him more closely. Even less than a foot away I couldn't tell that he wasn't real. "Is it solid?"

"See for yourself," he said confidently. Mirage's voice came from the holograms mouth, causing me to jump slightly in surprise. "I don't bite…"

I slowly reached out towards the rolled up sleeve of his white button up, just barely brushing the very solid material when Hot Rod squealed around the corner far down the hall. I jerked away from Mirage, feeling guilty, while the big Autobot's hologram simply smiled innocently. Hot Rod rolled to a stop behind me and the brown haired man I'd seen after the hospital was sitting in the driver's seat. I watched as he got out, revealing that he too was tall, though not quite as tall as Mirage's. I approached him, smiling, and he smiled back.

He was good looking. His eyes were bright blue like Mirage's, but his tan was lighter. His hair was a warm brown and his build was a little lankier than Mirage. I reached out to touch his shoulder, but to my disappointment my hand sank into him without resistance. It felt like a hundred little jolts of static on my skin so I jerked my hand back and he frowned.

"Sorry, it's not solid. Ratchet's been busy with other things."

I tried to hide my sudden slump in mood by smiling. "It's fine! Let's get going!"

I heard Mirage transform behind me, and turned to see his hologram standing by the driver's door, watching me. "Are you riding with Hot Rod?" he asked almost plaintively.

"Yeah, I'd better," I said with a wink, then slid into the low-slung Vanquish S. Hot Rod's hologram was already inside, and then huge gate slid open. Mirage took care of the autolock, which required a code from the outside, and then we were on our way to 'have fun.'

"How come the locking system is some complicated, Hot Rod?"

"If someone ever manages to crack the entrance code, chances are they won't bother to lock it behind them. More than 60 seconds open and a citywide alarm will go off, alerting the entire complex."

"Oh. Any reason why nobody bothered to tell me that before?"

"You never asked." His hologram looked over at me, and I realized with a start that his hands weren't on the wheel. His arm was just inches from mine, and I mentally sighed. I couldn't touch him.

* * *

Edited March 20, 2010


	17. It's Not Fair

xoxox Here's another 'feelings' chapter :) Skywarp is going to appear within the next couple of chapters, I swear!! xoxox

* * *

Mirage was leading the way down the long stretch of empty highway, and I was beginning to wonder what we were up to.

"What's Mirage's plan exactly? Where are we going?"

"I don't know… Let me get him on the radio."

There was a faint squealing from the dashboard as Hot Rod contacted Mirage, and then the SUV transformer's voice boomed loud and clear through the speakers. "What's up kiddies?"

"Where is it you want us to go?" Hot Rod asked a little snippily.

"You know, I was just asking that same question!" He said jovially. "I was thinking it would be fun to go to a 'theme park.' Roller coasters might be a good ride even for the holoforms."

"Hey, that's a good idea," I said cranking the passenger seat back to relax. "How long is the drive?"

Mirage was silent for a moment, and then said a little apprehensively, "About five hours."

"What?" Hot Rod and I blurted out together. "It'll be halfway through the afternoon in five hours!" I added grumpily, not looking forward to a drive that long.

"I know. That's why we'll stop at a hotel and wait until tomorrow morning. It'll be a Monday, so it shouldn't be too bad if we get there bright and early."

"Does Optimus know we're going to be gone so long?"

"I already cleared it, Hot Head. He said we could have three days of leave to absorb human culture firsthand, so we don't have to be back until Tuesday night."

"Where are we going that will take a five hour drive?"

"Six Flags, in Los Angeles. It looks pretty exciting."

I nodded slightly in agreement, before realizing that Mirage couldn't see. "It sounds good, but how are we going to pay for the hotel and the theme park?"

"Government issue credit cards. They let us have some currency as a sign of good will, I suppose, and in return for our excellent tech support," Mirage claimed confidently.

"Ah…" I trailed off uneasily. I knew their credit cards were safe, but I'd had at least one major disaster because of one. "They don't mind you spending their money on theme parks?"

"Why would they?" Hot Rod asked. "They gave it to us to spend, why would it matter how we spend it?"

"Good point. Six Flags it is…"

It only took two hours for me to get bored and tired. We stopped a few times so I could stretch my legs, but I really just wanted to lie down and sleep the rest of the drive. Hot Rod's Vanquish mode didn't have a backseat and I was having a tough time getting comfortable in the passenger seat despite myself.

As I tried to stretch out the kinks in my muscles during one of our breaks I looked at the SUV Mirage enviously, or more specifically, his wide backseat. His hologram self, leaning on the door, caught me looking and flashed his bright teeth in a smile before coming over. Hot Rod's remained in the car. He said the receiver needed to charge, but he watched Mirage with a fierce expression from the driver's side.

"I know that look," he said to me, still smiling winningly. "You wish you could trade that cramped little sports car for a big luxury vehicle. Do you want to try out the backseat?" He asked, smirking.

I giggled weakly and looked at Hot Rod. "Hey… I love your vehicle mode, but I'd really like to sleep for the rest of the trip. Would you mind if I rode with Mirage the rest of the way?"

His engine grumbled rebelliously, but his hologram shrugged from the driver's seat. "If it's what you need to do… But I get the first roller coaster ride, ok?"

I smiled in relief and rubbed the corner of his windshield in thanks. "See you in a little bit, Hot Rod. The first ride is yours."

He smiled weakly and waved, so I scampered back to Mirage the SUV, his hologram trailing behind. The backseat popped open for me and I slid in, stretching across the seats and moaning with relief.

"Might want to keep the sounds of pleasure to a minimum, your boyfriend could hear," Mirage joked playfully.

I sat up and pulled the door shut, waving at Hot Rod while he watched me with a plastic smile. He waved back, then pulled out of the rest stop and was on the ramp to the highway before Mirage had gone ten feet.

Mirage's hologram looked back at me. "You need to talk to the kid about his jealousy issues. Every little thing sets him off."

"He doesn't mean to be like that. I think he's just not used to… our situation."

"And what would that be exactly?" he asked gently.

I sighed and flopped back down in the backseat, covering my eyes with my arm. "I don't know… Can you keep a secret?"

"I can. And I suppose I will, for you."

"After we watched this movie called The Notebook last night… He asked me if I would want to stay with him forever. Like marrying, kind of."

"As in the human dedication ritual?"

"Pretty much."

Mirage was silent, but I heard his hologram shift in the seat. It seemed so real. In the closeness of the car, I could tell he was even wearing some kind of cologne. How did he manage that?

"Does that bother you?" He finally asked.

"I don't know! I like him, I trust him, and I would hate it if we couldn't see each other anymore. He's the closest thing I've got to normalcy. I don't have anybody else. But why would he ask that? We don't know anything about each other."

"He's pretty well pegged as impulsive. He means well, but it doesn't mean what he does or says is always right. He probably didn't realize the idea was so serious to you. I don't even really know why it's so serious."

"Because… When you get married, you really mean it. You want to spend your life and dedicate it to being with that other person, and share everything… And I mean, everything…"

Mirage considered what I had said for a while, then cleared his throat. "Do you mean 'share a bed'?"

"Yeah… That. It couldn't happen."

"Responsibility for reproduction is taken on by ours femmes, too. I understand why you would be concerned."

I was a little embarrassed now and fell silent, picking at the leather of his seat and wondering if he felt it.

"You know," he said hesitantly, "If he could get a solid replica holoreceiver like mine, it's completely possible that the two of you could-"

"NO!" I snapped, to the surprise of both of us.

I heard his head turn and felt his eyes on me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset."

I was glad my arm was over my eyes. Tears were welling up, and I didn't want Mirage to see.

My life was missing, a monster was tracking me down, and the one person who cared about me more than anyone else was a giant metal man. A tear slipped down my cheek and dripped onto the leather seat.

I started when I felt Mirage's all too solid hand brush my arm. "Please don't cry. Things will work out."

I moved my arm. He was completely turned away from the wheel, leaning between the front seats. His expression was sincere.

I sat up and looked down at my lap. "It isn't fair, Mirage. Everything has all happened too fast. I barely have a week's worth of memories, and one of the only really good things to happen to me is… wrong."

His hologram turned gray and indistinct and slid to the back of the car, then rematerialized so that Mirage was sitting next to me in the back seat, his arm wrapping around me comfortingly.

"Shh. It will get easier. You'll see."

"Why can't everything be easier now?"

"Love can't always be easy."

I sighed heavily and buried my face against his soft white shirt, inhaling the smell of his cologne.

"Thank you for listening, Mirage… I don't have anyone to talk to about this, you know?"

He began to gently stroke my hair. "I don't think I would listen for anyone else. It's easy to see why Hot Rod loves you. You humans have something about you, something different from the other organics we've seen."

I leaned back, and Mirage's hand dropped to his side. "I think I'm ok now."

He smiled sadly and he turned ephemeral again. The hologram slithered from the back, returning in the front. As he stared out at the road, I curled against the backseat, uncomfortably aware that he could probably feel every inch of my body touching him.

* * *

xoxox There's a specific story that's responsible for me losing my fear of the hologram idea. It's called Experiments in Human Nature, by Keelywolfe. It's rated M for a good reason, so if you're underage or squeamish, don't read it. Don't worry, my story is sticking with the T rating ;) thanks for all the great reviews :) xoxox

Edited March 20th, 2010


	18. Detour

xoxox Whew, this was a really entertaining one to write. Sorry it took so long, I was busy reading Eclipse over the weekend. It was soooo good! Thanks for all the reviews, next chap should be up soon! Xoxox

* * *

I woke up to Mirage's hologram lifting me out of his SUV body. I protested weakly, but he ignored me and before long he was carrying me up a long flight up stairs and into a hotel hallway. He carded the door and nudged it open, swooping in to deposit me on the bed.

"Alright, sweetheart, it's not dark out yet but it will be soon. Hot Rod's hologram is charging for tomorrow, so it's just us tonight. I know you need some stuff to keep clean, so make me a list and I'll run and get it for you."

I blearily complied, barely registering that I was going to be alone with Mirage's very solid hologram for the night. After I penned my list onto some hotel stationary, I looked at Mirage curiously.

"Why is it your hologram doesn't need to charge like Hot Rod's?"

Mirage gave me a satisfied smile. "I've been perfecting my battery cells for a long time, honey. Blending in requires a hologram that won't cut out in the middle of a mission, so I've got some of the best energy storage units in the galaxy. Well, this galaxy, anyway... Ratchet made Hot Rod's out of what he could glean off of Earth, and it's just not up to par with mine."

I smiled crookedly from where I perched on the edge of the hotel bed. "So even if I _were_ ok with being with a solid hologram, it could break down at the most crucial moment?"

"Just Hot Rod's," he said with a wink. He took my list and was out the door before I could protest being left alone.

The thick silence of the impersonal hotel room quickly became oppressive. I flipped on the TV to try and break it up, but my loneliness was choking me. I had just made up my mind to go sit with Hot Rod until Mirage came back when out of the corner of my eye I saw the last of the sunlight flash off of something bright outside my window. I looked, but nothing was there.

I rubbed my eyes and went to the bathroom. I immediately settled in front of the sink, splashing my face with cold water. There were complimentary soaps by the sink, so I went ahead and took a shower, tired of feeling grubby. It was incredibly awkward holding my cast outside of the shower, but it felt necessary to be clean. There were human sized showers in Autobot City, but no soap to speak of.

I didn't shower long, not wanting to miss Mirage's return. I grudgingly pulled my dirty clothes back on and went back out into the hotel room. I bent over and scrubbed my hair dry in a fresh towel. I opened a little plastic bag containing a flimsy black comb from the bathroom and worked it through my hair, watching the TV absently. A flash of light caught my eye again, but it hadn't seemed to come from the window. It had been by the dresser near the door.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, and I looked around for something to use as a weapon. I could find nothing better than the remote control, but I clutched it like a hammer. I skirted the dresser, the backs of my knees pressed against the bed.

As I eased around, my senses straining for any little sign of life, the door clicked open. I screamed and leapt over and behind the bed faster than I thought myself capable of, crouching down. To my intense relief and embarrassment, Mirage was standing in the door, holding a couple of plastic bags.

"Am I interrupting something?"

I took an unsteady breath then answered, "No, I just… I thought I saw something in here."

"Something? Like… a bug?"

Ignoring my objection, he picked up a brochure off the dresser and rolled it up. "Was it under the bed?" he asked as he got down on hands on knees to peer underneath.

"No, it wasn't a bug! It was bigger than a bug."

"Oh, so a… mouse," he murmured as a beam of light shone from his hand with the rolled up paper. As quickly as it came on he jerked back with a snarl, quickly accompanied by a metallic, familiar growl under the bed.

In a blur of silver, Frenzy was out from under the bed and three silver disks embedded themselves in Mirage's hologram. He didn't look like it hurt, but the hologram flickered dangerously. He made a grab for Frenzy, who dodged, then his eyes locked with mine.

"Get to the parking lot, NOW!"

I was running for the door before he was finished. I could hear Frenzy's sharp feet tearing up the carpet behind me, and the sound of metal clanging as Mirage stopped him. As I turned to slam the door shut behind me, I saw Mirage's hologram sputter and go out, a couple of small metal devices collapsing around Frenzy, one speared on a long thin knife resembling an ice-pick that jutted from his wrist.

The door shut with a heavy boom and I was racing down the halls, not sure how to get to the parking lot. As I disappeared into the stairwell I heard the shrieks of the mad silver Decepticon as he tore down the hall after me. We were on the second floor, I saw, and flew down the stairs faster than I'd ever dared before. I was out through the fire exit, gasping with relief to see…

The parking lot of the steakhouse next door. I had gone the wrong way. My breathing choked up again as I took off around the side of the building, hoping my luck was better this time. Frenzy exploded out the door behind me, and in seconds he was on me, dragging me to the ground and pulling me out towards the field behind the hotel in one fluid motion. I clawed at the concrete, and then the dirt, as Frenzy's surprising strength overpowered mine.

Despite being nearly blind with fear, I saw the red of Hot Rod's paint job as he flew around the corner, followed by the larger Mirage. _They're blowing their cover_, my panicked mind protested. In a few steps Hot Rod whipped his arm down, knocking Frenzy a dozen yards away. He settled into a defensive stance over me as Mirage trained his big gun on the little silver Decepticon scrambling in the long grass.

There was an explosion, but not from Mirage's gun. Dirt and hot material exploded all around, and I heard the ripping scream of a jet overhead. The F-22, who I assumed was Skywarp, was wheeling around for another turn, Hot Rod crouched over me, when there was another blast and he stumbled, nearly crushing me. I looked between his huge feet and saw Barricade beside the hotel, getting ready for another shot.

Hot Rod straightened rapidly and hesitated. He wouldn't fire so close to the hotel, and Barricade knew it. He also wouldn't leave me in the field. It took me by surprise when twin jets appeared out of nowhere, Skywarp slamming into Mirage as he transformed. The other, edged in light blue, crushed Hot Rod into the dirt, once again nearly squishing me. I was slammed face down into the ground as Frenzy latched onto my back, twisting my good arm painfully behind my back. I gritted my teeth and beat my forehead into the dirt, nearly crying. Everything was going wrong.

Barricade was on top of Hot Rod now, pinning him while the black Decepticon with the light blue coloring got up and brushed Frenzy off of me. What was his name…? He snatched me up roughly and I got a major case of nausea as he tossed me up into the air. I heard the crackle of transformation, and I landed painfully in a familiar cockpit. But this wasn't Skywarp…

I was pushed back against the seat as he shot into the air with a boom, and I spontaneously remembered his name. Thundercracker wasn't bothering with gravity control…

He wasn't going slowly, either. I was flattened against the seat, finding it difficult to breath. I managed to gasp out, "Can't breath-" before the air was pushed out of my lungs.

"What's wrong? Why can't you breath?"

I simply held onto my throat, dragging in squeaks of air against the push of Thundercracker's momentum.

"Thundercracker to Skywarp, the human said it can't breath."

"Control your interior! You're going to kill her!"

"Right." The air seemed to settle to the bottom of the plane as the pressure lifted. I drank in several gulps of air, my already pounding heart frantic.

"Please let me go," I whispered to the dashboard. "Please don't do this."

"Sorry, little human, Skywarp's running the show and he says you belong with us. Can't help you."

"No. You don't understand-"

"I can't help you, human." He sounded truly regretful about it, and I leaned the side of my face against the seat, beating down my panic. At least Skywarp probably wouldn't leave me with Barricade again.

I could only hope that Hot Rod and Mirage were ok. It was bad enough that I was in the hands of the unpredictable Decepticons, but my two of my friends might have died trying to protect me.

After some time, Thundercracker did a little wiggle midair to get my attention. "Look outside."

I did as I was told, looking around out the canopy. To the right, Skywarp's jet form was flying close by. I watched him blankly as he tipped his wing to us. I turned my face the other way, feeling rebellious.

Thundercracker's radio came to life and I heard Skywarp deep voice on the line. "What's wrong, Bravura? You're back where you belong, with us. You should be happy. Are you sick? Is it your arm? I saw the cast. Did the Autobots break you?"

"No." I grumbled. "Barricade broke me." I meant it in more ways than one.

"Barricade did that to you? What the frell-" his transmission cut off as he broke away from Thundercracker, presumably to find Barricade.

Thundercracker spoke up, sounding interested. "Barricade snapped your little bones? Did it hurt?"

"Yeah, it hurt a lot. It's been healing for a few days, though."

"Why didn't you just solder it back together and save the healing process?"

"You can't solder bones. They have to knit together on their own."

"You have an endoskeleton?"

"Yep."

Thundercracker must have sensed my desire to be left to myself, because he fell quiet after that.

It seemed like a short ride before Thundercracker finally dipped to the ground, slowed to a stop and settling down to the ground next to a huge metal building. It looked like a hangar, but it seemed out of place, wedged between the huge mountains of what had to be the Rockies. He pulled into the hangar, and then popped up the glass canopy over my head.

"End of the line, little human. Hop out."

I awkwardly climbed out of the cockpit and slid down the side, dropping to the ground with a jolt to my arm and a short twinge of fire in my ankles. Thundercracker transformed as soon as I was clear, so I turned to look at him. He was shaped like Skywarp, but colored in nearly equal proportions of gray, white and blue. His logo was black against the blue of his body.

I sat down heavily on the cold concrete, feeling Thundercracker's eyes on me. I was fighting tears again.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Skywarp got you some human food."

"That's not… what I'm worried about," I choked. "My friends, the Autobots…"

"What about them?" I heard him sit down heavily near me.

"Are they ok? Did they make it out?"

Thundercracker growled and I started, unsettled by the noise. " Yes, they made it out. The big one took a beating, according to Skywarp, but they got away. Barricade's probably too busy getting a mouthful from Skywarp to follow them."

Relief flooded me. They were ok. _Now all I have to worry about are my own problems.

* * *

_

Edited March 20th, 2010


	19. Kill Them

xoxox I am actually really, really excited about writing from the decepticon lines. Thanks for all the reviews! And by the way, I have no idea what the pairing is. No. Idea. :) xoxox

* * *

I didn't sit on the cold concrete long. The ground was literally icy, and we must have moved east a lot, plus the sun had already disappeared behind a massive mountain. Thundercracker watched me stand up and begin to pace, then finally something seemed to click in his massive head.

"Oh, you're cold. Skywarp has your clothes underground, if you want more to put on." He rose to his feet, and then bent down to grab me. He picked me up, not exactly gently, but carefully. "Skywarp had a field day carving the base out."

I didn't protest being manhandled, just waited limply in his big hand. He went to a corner of the hangar, and I noticed for the first time a very big trapdoor. Thundercracker grabbed it by the handle, which was nearly as tall as me, and lifted it effortlessly. Warm air billowed up from the surprisingly bright hole, and Thundercracker made his way down into it.

The thing that struck me was the feeling of warmth of the place, not just in temperature. The color and texture was inviting, in soft yellows and creams. It made the Autobot base seem cold, military… almost unwelcoming.

It was much smaller, however, and Thundercracker quickly deposited me outside of a room without a door. "Home sweet home," he chuckled.

I looked around. "Where?"

"Right here." He took a step through the transformer sized hole in the wall and gestured for me to follow. I hesitantly went after him, and gasped in surprise. The floor was carpeted in several strips of different carpet, but each was thick and plush. There was a full-sized bed shoved in the corner of the huge room, and I could even see a human sized bathroom on the other side. I knew it was a bathroom because Skywarp had hung a little picture of a stick figure in a dress from the door.

I roamed to the closet, which was open, and found everything I'd bought with Frenzy and Barricade on hangars. The perfume bottles were arranged on a shelf, and I felt a little part of myself rebel against my unhappy, kidnapped self. He put so much effort into making me feel at home…

I sighed heavily and went to sit on the bed, my fingers brushing one of the wildflowers he'd arranged on the nightstand next to it. I picked one up, a tiny yellow one, marveling that he'd been able to pick them at all.

"Did he do all of this for me, Thundercracker?"

Thundercracker nodded. "Yes. He said this was going to be your new home, so you should like it. He used the internet a lot."

I flopped back on the bed, and Thundercracker perked up. I looked at him questioningly.

"You really do belong to us," he said, surprised.

"What are you talking about?"

"You've got our insignia."

I looked down at my wrist, exposed to Thundercracker. I quickly folded my arm across my chest. "It doesn't mean anything."

Thundercracker snorted, a sound like grinding stones, and made to leave. "I'm here if you need me, just yell. Skywarp will be back in a few minutes, too."

I ground my teeth together, not sure if I should be happy or not. I stared up at the bright yellow lights hanging from the ceiling and sighed, closing my eyes. I was watching the red orbs through my lids when I heard the stomp of a transformer coming into my room.

I kept my eyes shut tight, trying to delay the moment when I had to talk to Skywarp again. Being here and seeing what he'd done for me may have softened me up, but I was still unhappy to be here. Even if Skywarp _had_ saved my life, taken me in when I needed him…

"Bravura?" he whispered. "Are you sleeping?"

I steeled myself, and then finally opened my eyes. "No."

"Are you happy?"

"No, Skywarp. I was happy with them."

"Bravura…" To my shock, his deep voice was pleading. "I just want you to be happy. You're the first living thing I met on this planet. You're not like the other Decepticons. I can trust you… I just want to keep you safe, don't you understand?"

"Well, you already screwed up, Skywarp! You left me with _Barricade_ of all people, and do you know what he did? Do you?!" My voice was gaining volume, and I could feel myself beginning to panic.

"Please calm down, your pulse- please, Bravura, I don't know what you're talking about." He moved closer, hunching down over my bed.

My back flat against the bed, I stared up at his red eyes. "After the battle in Mission City, Barricade killed my parents, all because he wanted to have a tantrum. Like they didn't mean anything. He almost killed me, Skywarp. He would have…"

I was crying again. I seemed to cry so often…

Skywarp reached one big hand down and stroked my arm oh so tenderly. "I didn't know, Bravura."

"I know," I gasped, and suddenly sat up. I latched onto to his finger and held on tightly, sobbing. I hadn't realized it, but with the horror of Barricade behind me, Skywarp really was my protector. He'd never done anything to hurt me, and I needed the comfort now more than ever.

His other hand cupped my back, enveloping me in heat. He was much warmer than any of the Autobots, almost to the point of discomfort. I didn't care.

Skywarp was murmuring to me, but I wasn't really listening. I was wrapped up in my own feelings, and in the heat of his hands. He waited patiently as my sobbing died down into infrequent shivers, and then slowly removed his big hands. I reluctantly released his finger.

"I won't make the same mistake twice, Bravura. He's too valuable, and Frenzy would be unmanageable without him, so I can't kill him. But he won't bother you again. I won't let him touch you." His voice echoed in my mind, reminding me of flying in the rain.

"Why do you and the Autobots have to fight, Skywarp? Your leader is dead… Just let it go… Optimus would forgive you."

Skywarp's face tightened. "Our kind is incompatible with theirs. Our values are too different."

"Frenzy is with you."

"And Frenzy is subsequently half mad."

I sighed, my shoulders drooping.

"Cheer up, Bravura. Ever since I saw you last time, when that despicable Mirage ruined things, I've been working on something to fix your arm."

"My arm? You can't solder it…"

"I know. I may not be a scientist like Starscream, but I'm not too bad with inventions. I already tested it on lots of things, and it'll fix your bone."

I stared up at him, disbelieving. "You made something to heal broken bones?"

"I did. Want to try it?"

I hesitated. He said he'd tried it out already. I tried not to think about the implications behind that and slowly nodded my head. He wouldn't hurt me.

He scooped me up, stomping rapidly through the small base. He pressed his hand to a huge metal door, alone on one wall, and it loudly unbolted several heavy locks, floor to ceiling. We stepped in, and I looked around.

It was large, and less warm than the rest of the base. There were more metals, more grays. He set me down by a metal surgical table, and I wondered where he'd gotten it.

"Lay down on it, I'll take care of the rest."

I obeyed, stretched out on the hard metal. A bright light was shining down on me from the ceiling, and I closed my eyes. I was nervous.

I listened to him moving around and adjusting things overhead. I didn't look around until I heard him go still.

A big dark machine was angled over my cast arm. It was imposing, and I cringed just a little. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"It will probably hurt a little. It takes less than a minute, maybe less if it's already started healing. Everything will be fine," he said in a semi-soothing tone. Then he reached under the table. It wasn't until he'd clipped the first restraint that I realized he was tying me down.

"Wait. What are you doing?" **Click.**

"You shouldn't thrash during treatment, it'll take longer. This will hold you still."

"Just how painful are we talking, here?!" **Click.**

"Not too bad." **Click.**

I was pinned at the shoulders, elbows, and the knees of both legs.

"No, I don't believe you. I don't want to do this anymore. Let me off."

"You'll thank me when it's over," he said cheerfully.

I was in the middle of another protest when Skywarp flipped a switch on the machine. There was the noise of powering up, and then-

**PAIN.**

A startled gasp escaped my lips and melted into a mindless keening. It rippled across my brain like a lightning bolt. My senses were fried. It pulsed, stronger and stronger.

**PAIN!**

My mind finally retreated into whiteness.

Soft, white, painless…

I was watching myself. I was sitting in a bar, dressed for clubbing. A man approached me. He was dressed differently, but it was the man in the red plaid.

He bought me a drink, even though he could tell I was underage. He passed the little glass to me. I sipped it, chatting with him, pretending to be a smooth twenty-one year old, instead of a depressed and directionless young woman, two years too young. _Not interested_, I was trying to convey politely. As we talked, I watched myself swoon. At this point he helped me to my feet, helped me out of the bar. Helped me into his car. I slipped into drugged unconsciousness.

I watched him threaten me. Hurt me. I was scared, so scared, but he always had a weapon on me. I learned to pretend to like what he did to me, just so he would take the gun away.

I watched myself find a black camera film canister under the dirty mattress. It had two pills inside.

I watched four strange men walk into the tiny trailer, Blue and Green among them. They eyed me hungrily. Money exchanged hands. I served them drinks.

Two of them were quickly unconscious, and in the moment of confusion I was running out the back door, running for the trees.

I woke up to a loud drilling noise. Skywarp was hunching over me, carefully sawing through my cast. It cracked open with a satisfying crunch, and I felt a rush of cold air across my skin.

He unclipped my restraints, and I sat up as soon as I could. I stared at my arm in awe, feeling it cautiously, and then flexing it, twisting my wrist about. Nothing happened, no pain.

"It worked," he said with a smile.

"Yeah, it did."

My voice was flat, and my face was grim.

He peered at me, and then asked, "Are you ok?"

"Do you remember the three men who were chasing me? When you found me?"

"Perfectly."

"I want you to kill them."

He was silent for a moment, stunned. "You want me to kill three other humans."

I hissed through my teeth. "The one in red raped me, Skywarp. He did horrible things to me. The other two paid him money to do the same thing."

Skywarp was silent, watching me intently.

"If I kill them, will it make you happy?"

"It would make me very, very happy."

He sighed. "Tomorrow. We'll talk about it tomorrow."

I slid off the table, emotionally numb. "Can I go back to my room?"

Skywarp wordlessly scooped me up and carried me out of his little lab, taking me back to my room. There was no door, and I would have no privacy, but with my mind where it was, I didn't care.

* * *

Edited March 20th, 2010


	20. SOS

xoxox No revenge yet :) I hate to say it, but basically this is the plot moving along part. I am such a stickler for keeping things 'real,' and I want to recreate an entire experience, not just the exciting parts :) Thanks for the LONG reviews! Gave me some insight, for sure! Next chap shouldn't take too long :) xoxox

* * *

I curled on my side on the bed, facing the wall. Skywarp had dimmed the lights on his way out. The silence of the place was perfect for me at that moment. I hugged myself, shivering against old wounds.

Skywarp had been unwilling to leave me alone while I was like this.

"It could be a side effect of the treatment. I should stay and make sure you don't do something you regret…"

"Please leave me alone," I'd whispered. "I want to be alone right now."

He'd slowly turned to leave. "If you need anything, want anything, even just company… I'll be here. Even Thundercracker, if you don't want to talk to me…"

I'd stared at him, disbelief cracking through my shell. "That's not it at all, Skywarp. Thank you for everything. I just need to be alone."

His wide shoulders seemed to sag and he left quietly, turning the switch for the lights as he went.

My whole body trembled in a fit as a particularly upsetting image came to mind. I rubbed my face against the sheets, trying to erase the memories. I didn't want them. I hated those men, for doing what they had done… and for planning to do worse. I wanted to show them what helplessness was. I wanted to watch them as they realized there were no options.

Skywarp would help me.

I heard the clank of heavy feet as a transformer walked past my door. They paused briefly outside of the room then moved on.

Suddenly something occurred to me. I didn't want Skywarp to kill those men.

I wanted Barricade to do it. I wanted that fierce, snarling voice to be the last thing they ever knew.

I lurched off of the bed mechanically and rushed out into the brighter hall, seeing Thundercracker's wide back as he moved on down the hall. He heard me, and turned to look.

"Where is Skywarp?"

"His quarters. Need something?"

"I just need to talk to him. Can you show me where?"

Thundercracker nodded and came back to me, scooping me up. That was one thing I'd noticed already… The Decepticons tended to snatch me up without thinking, while the Autobots had nearly always given me the option of climbing into their hands.

The size of the base was a relief. Skywarp lived down the hall and around the corner, apparently. Next time, I would walk. Thundercracker banged on the door loudly, yelling, "Bravura wants to see you."

The door swung open almost immediately, Skywarp's eyes meeting mine. His room was dark too, and I got the impression that I'd interrupted his rest.

He held out his hand. Thundercracker handed me over, and then moved off in the direction he'd come from.

"Thank you," I called after him, and he waved over his retreating shoulder. I turned to look up at Skywarp, who was regarding me hopefully. "I changed my mind about killing them."

Surprisingly, Skywarp seemed relieved. "Good, I was hoping you would say that."

I stared at him. "What do you mean? I thought Decepticons didn't care about humans. I thought you would like doing it."

Skywarp shook his head slowly. "It's difficult to view your species as… mindless animals, anymore. _You_ aren't just an animal."

"Those men _are_," I insisted. "And besides, I still want them to die. I just want Barricade to do it instead."

"Why Barricade?"

"Because I know first hand the fear that he inspires. I want them to wish they'd never touched a woman in any moment of their chauvinistic existences."

Skywarp sighed, slowly nodding. "If it's what you really want, I'll send him the orders and the profiles. Frenzy should find them in no time."

"I want to be there."

Skywarp looked at me sharply. "Why?"

"I want them to know who is responsible for their pain. I want them to know."

My fists were clenched tightly as I stared down at my protector's hand. He stroked my back with his free hand and I leaned back into it, trying to release my tension.

"I would rather you not go."

"I know, but please. You can be with me the entire time. I want them to see me with you. I want _him_ to realize why he's suffering."

"You aren't going to let this go until you get your way, are you?"

I looked up into his red eyes, pleading. "I want revenge, Skywarp. He violated me. They wanted to."

Skywarp's expression hardened. "This isn't about the physical damage. It's about the emotional damage, isn't it?"

I nodded and reached behind me for his closest finger, holding it tightly to my chest. "But you saved me from all of it."

Skywarp sat down on his metal bed, holding me to his chest. "You don't know how much of a relief it is to have you here."

I didn't answer. I missed Hot Rod and Mirage, no matter how much I was beginning to appreciate Skywarp. I was guiltily imagining that this too-warm chest was Hot Rod's when my stomach growled noisily. I hadn't eaten since breakfast.

Skywarp got up, setting me down on his bed, and went to a metal cabinet that covered one wall. He opened one of the lower doors, pulled out a white plastic bag, then brought it to me. He set it next to me tentatively, and I looked up at him questioningly. He nodded, so I took the bag. A banana and one packet of saltines sat inside.

I smiled and took out the banana, peeling it, feeling Skywarp's eyes on me. I ate it in silence, just trying to give my stomach something to do. I finished quickly and put the peel back in the bag, ignoring the crackers.

"Where'd you go to get this?"

Skywarp smiled. "It got left at a picnic. I hope you don't mind."

"No," I said, yawning and stretching. "Is it very late, Skywarp?"

"10:37 at night. Do you want to sleep?"

"Yeah… but, can I ask you something?"

"Does it involve killing more humans?"

"Nah. I wanted to know if I could stay with you tonight."

Skywarp stiffened visibly. "You actually want to sleep here with me?"

I looked down, afraid to meet his eyes. I was afraid he could see my longing for a different transformer's company.

He loosened up. "No, I think it's a great idea," he said, thinking he'd hurt my feelings. "I just gave you your room because I thought you'd prefer sleeping there at night, but if this is where you want to be… I'm not complaining."

I looked up at him, smiling as genuinely as I could. "Thank you… I'm done being alone for now."

Skywarp's hand reached for me, hesitant, but he slowed and finally dropped it back to his side. "I need to talk to Barricade, but I can't send a signal from down here. I'll be right back."

He was out of the room suddenly, leaving me there alone. I stared at my lap, remorse thick in my throat. I hated leading Skywarp into thinking… differently than me, but I needed the reassurance. I was afraid to sleep alone.

Despite myself, I found myself being woken up from an uneasy doze as I was picked up in the darkness by Skywarp's warm hands. There was the sound of metal on metal as he stretched out on his bed, and he settled me on his broad chest. His shape was less hospitable than Hot Rod's, but he had several flat places across his chest, parts of his wings, I assumed. I curled up on one, and he made a fist, laying his knuckles against my back.

"Frenzy is looking for the records of the three men as we speak. He should have them ready for tracking by tomorrow evening."

"Good," I whispered, barely awake. I clutched my arms to my chest, reveling in the feel of skin and not a scratchy, heavy cast. "I'm glad you're ok with it."

"I have my doubts, but it won't take long to execute them, and we can move on."

My mind hit a mental rut and switched topic without my conscious decision. "Why did you really keep me, Skywarp? Why did you go to so much effort to get me back?"

He made a scraping noise, like clearing his throat. Finally, he said, "Do you know how long space travel takes?"

"A long time."

"A very long time," he agreed. "And I have been in space for much longer than just a 'very' long time. I was… lonely."

"Ok… but why would you try so hard to get me back even after you had company with your own kind again?"

"It's hard to explain, Bravura. You weren't like I imagined your kind. You aren't like the rest."

Mirage had said something to that extent, and I considered it. I doubted there was anything special about me…the transformers just weren't used to people. They expected something different.

I sighed, the side of my face pressed against the furnace of his chest.

"Why are you so much warmer than the Autobots?"

"You have a lot of questions this time. We run on a higher optimum core capacity than the Autobots. They would get warmer than this, during battle, but they tend to run on a lower capacity during off time. Decepticons are always prepared for battle by continuously running the processes that Autobots allow to shut down."

"I see… So it would make you feel vulnerable if I asked you to cool it a little."

"Yes. I can't do it, I'm sorry."

"It's ok," I grumbled, snuggling back against his knuckles. "Just checking."

For a flat chunk of metal, Skywarp's chest made a decent bed. Fully aware of my protector, his face obscured by his massive torso, I fell into an exhausted sleep.

I woke to being plucked from his chest. Skywarp was moving fast, holding me and rushing down the halls. He deposited me in my room. "Frenzy sent an SOS through my e-mail. The Internet is low security and he has orders not to use it, so this has to be serious. I'm going to check it out, Thundercracker will stay here."

He was gone again before my sputtering response could turn into the English language.

Alone in my transformer sized room, I sank dispiritedly into the thick carpet.

"You have an e-mail address?" I asked the tan fibers. "Seriously…?"

* * *

Edited March 20th, 2010


	21. Falling Stars

Sorry this took so long you guys... between classes, clubs, and committees, I've pretty much sold my personal life. I also promised a few people a double size chapter, but I just wanted to update so bad that you'll have to settle for 'the longest chapter I've ever posted' at around 2500 words. I'll try to update more often you guys. I am NOT giving up the story. thanks for all the great reviews!!! xoxox 

"So you're happy as a human?"

"Yes, Thundercracker, I like being human."

"But you can't _fly._"

I was perched cross-legged on the edge of my bed. Shortly after Skywarp had left Thundercracker had come into the room unannounced. He sat in the middle of the room now, staring at me. I hadn't understood his intense look until he'd begun the barrage of 'how can you stand it' questioning.

"I can do what I need to do from the ground."

"But it's so much better from the air. Skywarp built that bone mender: maybe he can make you some wings like mine. Wouldn't that be better? Flying around…?" His voice trailed off with what was supposed to be tantalizing effect.

"Why would I need wings when I've got two jets to do the all of that fabulous flying for me?"

Thundercracker straightened himself up proudly. "Yeah, we can fly pretty good. Me 'n' Skywarp 'n' Starscream, we used to be the Seekers. Everyone trembled if you just mentioned our names…" His voice lowered, and I could tell he was reliving his glory days. "Took out so many autobots. Those were good times, back when the war was all in one place. It's not as fun as it used to be. Plus, Starscream left us to take Megatron's place all that time ago."

I listened blearily. I wanted to go back to sleep, but Thundercracker seemed pretty comfortable where he was.

"I got a good feeling somethin' big is gonna happen here soon, though. Optimus himself is here, leading all the autobots this way…"

I hoped he was wrong. I'd only seen guerilla warfare among the transformers so far. The idea of a full-blown battle, like Mission City or worse, gave me a sick feeling.

"Maybe you guys can fight it out somewhere else, like the moon. Or Pluto. Pluto would be good."

"Nah. We got so many energon sources here it'd be stupid not to fight right where we are. Besides, Pluto's got no sunlight and that's the numero uno battery."

"Venus has even more sun than Earth, you know."

He gave me such a disgusted expression that I actually felt a little embarrassed. "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. Venus? What kind of degenerate half-sparked critter are you? Venus…"

I shrugged and settled back down on the bed, sharing his feeling of disgust. I couldn't figure out if I was worried about the autobots or Skywarp and Frenzy. The autobots had been good to me, were my only friends in the world... But I owed Skywarp my life, and Frenzy had once been an autobot too.

"What I still don't get is that you can't fly, and you like it."

I groaned. "Right, Thundercracker. I don't mind not flying."

"But how can you _stand_ it?"

"Because I'm a degenerate half-sparked critter. It's hardwired into my brain to like sticking to the ground, just like gravity intended."

"I bet Skywarp could make your wings real pretty."

"I've had the pleasure of being the target of Skywarp's inventions, and I'll have to pass this time."

Thundercracker growled in annoyance and glared at me like I'd turned into a giant autobot badge. "I don't get what he sees in you. You aren't even a good pet."

"Sorry I don't feel like dress up, Thundercracker." I rolled over on my bed, not even looking at him. I thought the hint was obvious, but he was oblivious. He didn't move and I could feel his red eyes burning on me.

After a few minutes, I heard him clear his throat. It was like nails on a chalkboard, and I winced. When he spoke again he sounded apologetic, to my surprise.

"I didn't mean it…" He began. "I think you're a great pet. I was just mad."

I sighed into the blanket and twisted my head to look at him. "It's ok."

He sagged with relief, and I could see in his expression that he wanted to talk.

"Is everything ok?" I asked gently.

"Yeah… It's just… It's nice finally having Skywarp understand me. We're like brothers you know, and him and Starscream always used to hate the natives… No matter what. They've helped wipe out so many intelligent creatures, and I just hated it. They made me help, and it was awful. Just cuz they can't fly doesn't mean they don't have feelings…"

When I was silent, watching him with sympathy, he continued. "Sometimes they threatened to tell the others I was going soft, if I didn't help them kill things. I only wanna fight, not… not slaughter. Sometimes I thought about asking the autobots if it was too late… They don't like killing little things… But they don't like fighting too much either." His expression brightened. "Maybe things are different now, though. Skywarp likes you, and I don't think he even wants to hurt your kind because of you."

This news was a relief to me. Maybe Skywarp would help prevent a war here on Earth, if we were so important to him. A tiny part of me was wishing that maybe he would see that the autobots were right, and that he would let the past go.

Thundercracker was rubbing his metal fingers in the carpet, looking much more relaxed now. He looked back up at me, and his fierce metal face was almost childish. "Wanna go flyin'?"

"What?"

"Do you wanna go fly outside? I'm sick of just sitting here doin' nothing."

"It's late, Thundercracker."

"Just one little swoop around the mountains…" His voice was wheedling, like a little boy's, and I couldn't help smiling.

"Ok… One little cruise, that's it. Skywarp would be pissed if we left the mountains."

Thundercracker climbed to his feet with a grinding of metal, then snatched me up as soon as I was on my feet. In moments he was climbing up out of the metal hatch in the hangar. The cold air blasted me, and I felt a faint ache where the break in my arm had been. He zipped outside, and I could swear that if he'd been a human he would have been skipping.

He stood out under the night sky for a few minutes, just looking, and I joined him. The stars were brilliant and stark: There were no city lights to dim them. I was watching the stars and trying to focus on the warmth of Thundercracker's hand when I heard him make an uncomfortable metallic sound.

"Everything ok?" I asked, not completely interested.

"Yeah, I think so… I thought I picked up a transmission, but it wasn't real clear. Probably just hearin' things…"

With that, he began transforming. The experience was shocking, to say the least, as his hand pulled me close and tossed me into the sliding metal mass that was his body… Somehow, by some great skill or luck, I was sitting in the cockpit, albeit backwards and on my knees. I quickly twisted around and the seatbelts clicked around me as the canopy snapped shut with a hiss. The air instantly became warmer, and I barely felt when he shot away from the ground.

In moments were hanging in the inky blankness of the night sky. The Rocky Mountains were barely visible as hills below, and we were still climbing. I watched the sky shift with a mixture of awe and anxiety: It was beautiful, but Thundercracker was getting very, very far from the ground.

"Ain't it great…" His voice murmured into the cockpit. "Just leaving the ground behind… Like leaving your troubles behind."

"You have troubles, Thundercracker?"

"Yeah, lots. You wouldn't understand most of 'em. Don't worry about it."

He was silent after that, and it wasn't long before I fell asleep, dreaming of reaching out and trying to catch a rain of stars falling from the sky.

It also wasn't long before I woke up to a blinding light and shuddering metallic roar as Thundercracker's whole body spun out of control.

I was beginning to get a sense of déjà vu when I woke up again. Thundercracker was belly deep in the ground, crash-landed. The dim lights in the cockpit were off completely, and I didn't even hear the usual faint metallic purr from deep within him, though of course my heart was pounding so hard I could barely hear anything… A soft buzzing came to my attention and I looked around blearily. Slowly, it became louder, and I began to realize it was Thundercracker's voice speaking to me… So quiet, but getting louder in my traumatized ears.

"Bravura, get out right now! He's coming, he's coming, get out! I don't want to have to kill you, if I transform you'll die- GET OUT!!"

The safety belt was gone, so I leaned forward woozily and the canopy cracked open with a hiss. Freezing air rushed in, and I fought my urge to huddle now, climbing out and sliding down the side of Thundercracker's body, landing on my feet but quickly falling down on the hard ground. There were a few trees, and a deep furrow in the loose rock and dirt where Thundercracker had crashed. The ground was uneven, and we were standing on a rise. A rock wall rose behind us with an extremely steep slope, almost a cliff below…

My hearing was better, and I heard him clearly as he transformed behind me. I was suddenly standing beneath him, and he was crouched down, weapons glowing…

"Who is it…?" I whispered anxiously. Please, Hotrod… Mirage, Optimus, anyone…

"Don't know. They're covering up their signals. Quiet. He's coming."

"How do you know he's a _he_?"

Thundercracker glared down at me and I shut up, inching close to one of his legs for the warmth.

I jerked against Thundercracker's warm metal leg when I heard the snap of something huge breaking a tree in the woods below. Thundercracker didn't move. He was almost hot enough to burn me…

A red glow came from just below, and I my clenched my teeth to keep them from chattering. A giant hand gripped the edge of our hiding place, and Thundercracker trained his huge gun on it... A head with glowing red eyes followed.

Thundercracker made a noise of pleasure and his gun powered down. "Scrapper, you made it! You got your crew with you?"

The decepticon Scrapper didn't answer in English, but Thundercracker barely seemed to notice, rushing forward and helping to pull the other decepticon up. This new decepticon's colors were yellow and purple, but he wasn't quite as fierce looking as the other decepticons I'd met…

They were talking in Cybertronian, so I didn't have much to do but sit and wait for Thundercracker to remember me. While they were chatting I heard the crack of another decepticon below, and soon another one joined us, colored in the same way as Scrapper. Within ten minutes there were six total, all babbling in Cybertronian with Thundercracker.

When one pair of unfamiliar red eyes settled on me during the middle of their reunion, I froze and stared back. The decepticon said something to Thundercracker and pointed at me.

"Oh yeah…" Thundercracker mumbled in English, seeming guilty. "That's, uh, Skywarp's pet. He's in charge til Starscream gets back, so don't hurt it…"

One of them snarled. "Starscream's in charge again? What in hell makes him think he's good enough for the job anyway?"

Thundercracker shrugged. "I don't know Long Haul, that's just the way it is."

"You're such a sheep sometimes, Thunder."

"That hurt, Hook…"

They were all laughing, until Thundercracker cut his chuckle off short. "Wait a minute, why did you guys shoot at me?"

The decepticons fell silent, looking between each other. "We didn't, man," the one named Scrapper finally said.

"We got a problem to take care of, then…"

With that, the new decepticons were all business. In seconds they had slipped down the edge of the incline and out of my sight. I looked up at Thundercracker, who was still with me.

"What happened?"

"They're looking for the autobot who shot me."

A thrill shot up my spine, but I smothered it. I didn't want Thundercracker to see… "Maybe… Maybe you should help them look. I'll be fine right here."

Thundercracker seemed to be thinking it over when there was a snarl down the slope from one of the new decepticons. Without saying anything he shot down the incline with a spray of rocks and dirt, leaving me alone.

I rushed to the edge, peering down, trying to see _anything._ I could see faint spots of red when the decepticons turned their head my way, but for the most part nothing… and then-

A white flash appeared near where I'd seen a pair of red eyes, followed immediately by a boom and a roar of Cybertronian. I sank down low, until only my head peeked over the edge. Something was happening down there… There was another flash, nowhere near the last one, and my eyes whipped about, searching desperately for a flash of blue…

"Ready to go?" A voice whispered close behind me.

I flipped onto my back, gasping raggedly. Not three feet away, a face containing a pair of blue autobot eyes were watching me. He was strange to me, all dark in color, like Hotrod had been when we'd first met.

"The name's Prowl," he whispered. "And we have to go. Right now."

"But… How are you doing that? Shooting them…"

"Not shooting… They're walking on some signal-sensitive mines. Only responds to Decepticon frequency… Pretty nice little setup, Perceptor made 'em… But yeah, we have to move and I mean quick. Ready?"

I hesitated, and then slowly rose into a crouch. His hand presented itself to me, and I climbed in. He lifted me to his shoulder. "Now hold on tight… Real tight. This is going to be some ride…"

With that we were a blur in the dark, scaling the mountainside silently. We were on the other side of the mountain, clear of the decepticons for now, before he spoke again, his arms and legs working together in perfect unison as he navigated the uneven rocks of the mountain. "You're Bravura, aren't you?"

I almost lost my grip, but his hand was there to catch me…

"Yeah…" I steadied myself. "Yeah. How did you know?"

"Already got the debriefing from Optimus. Was in the middle of sending confirmation when your decepticon buddies started flying through the sky, landing all over the place. I didn't know you were in the blue one, sorry…"

"It's ok…" I mumbled. "Are they coming? The other autobots?" Hotrod?

"Bumblebee's meeting us, if I heard right. I would tell them you're with me, but I don't want the decepticons attention anywhere close to us." He chuckled as we heard yet another boom from the other side of the mountain.


	22. Officer Prowl

Ok I've gotten a few messages that are making me guilty... But finals are nearly over, so that means for a little while I can type to my hearts content :)  
I just made a little somethin somethin to show I'm not a quitter, it's short and people will hate me but it's better than nothin! Should be more by the end of the weekend ;)  
Love!!  
xoxox

* * *

Prowl had been tramping through the thickly forested Rockies for most of the night before we really spoke again. He seemed preoccupied, and I was nervous around him, a complete stranger. Prowl was a big guy, and many times he had to duck under or completely circumnavigate the smaller trees, forcing me to stay awake in order to cling to his unsteady shoulder. It was difficult, the soft familiar hum of the mechanisms whirring under his skin soothing me. 

He acted like I didn't exist until I nearly fell off, dozing. His large warm hand shot up and steadied my as I begin to slip along his slick metallic finish. "Watch it there, I think the troops want you back in one piece. Hotrod and Mirage wouldn't shut up, before I cut off transmissions. You've got a… a feel about you, I guess I would call it. It's kind of nice, most species don't have it. If the rest of your kind are anything like you, I can see why Optimus would want to stay… Kinda warm, a soothing feeling…"

I was uncomfortable, but I tried not to show it. None of the autobots had ever gone into that kind of detail, but it explained why Skywarp was so calm around me… and maybe Hotrod's little romantic outburst before.

"So… You don't have anything to transform into yet, do you Prowl?" I asked, anxious to change the subject.

"Nope, but we're almost to a highway so I think I'll be able to fix that soon. We need to be under cover by daylight, which is in about an hour."

"Don't you have some… alien thing to transform into?"

"We usually drop our alts to manage space travel. Lighter is faster."

"Do you care what kind of car you get?" I'd always wondered what motivated their choices in alt modes.

"Well, I want something about the right size, of course. I can't transform into something that has too much or too little mass. I also have my own tastes, so I would want to be something that fits me… But when it comes down to it, I need something effective and efficient."

I nodded. This explained why not every Cybertronian became a jet or a tank, but it was unfortunate that the autobots were so outgunned so often.

"When you get your car mode, you'll look completely different… I can understand the color stuff, but I remember Hotrod looked more filled out after he got his alt. Why is that?"

"Well," Prowl began patiently, "a lot of that filled out shape is actually a kind of force field that behaves like clay. Once we settle in a mode its as hard as real metal and it is sometimes described as a semi-permanent shell. We can take it off if we choose, but if we die or a piece is removed, the shape will remain. Hotrod, for example, is still the same underneath, but his field is as real as his frame. His nervous network feels through it as well as his body."

I could hear the whine of cars whipping past through the trees, but I couldn't see their lights yet. I was curious to see what kind of car he would pick out. I couldn't imagine anything good out on a highway in the middle of nowhere at this time of night.

The trees thinned as we approached the strip, and the hum of cars and semis driving past was pretty consistent. It was early morning, and traffic was thicker than I'd expected. I couldn't see anything, and it didn't help when Prowl set me down. The trees blocked the view, but I assumed he could make out what he needed. We waited for a while, ten or fifteen minutes, when suddenly he leaned forward excitedly. I watched his head following something, and then a white flash ran down his frame.

He was black and white now, a pointed red fender in the shape of a V on his forehead. He had definitely filled out, from the skinny black thing to a 'muscular' piece of work. He looked down at me, a smile on his metal face, and I smiled back. "What did you pick?"

"I'll show you," he said, still smiling, and began to move closer to the highway . When I began to think there was no way he could avoid notice, his body made the familiar sound of transformation.

In no time, Prowl sat before me in the grass, gleaming on four wheels. My jaw hung open, and I approached him slowly. He was a Dodge Charger, but the irony was in the giant POLICE on his side doors. His lights flashed experimentally and his sirens chirped a couple of times, startling me.

"Like it?" He sounded pleased with himself. "I think it fits me just fine."

"Yeah, Prowl, it's… it's nice." I would let him find out about Barricade's alt mode on his own.

His driver side door popped open, and I slid onto the leather seats with a faint smile. He was pretty nice on the inside. I'd noticed the transformers didn't really smell like car, and Prowl was no exception. There was no real smell at all, just the air from outside. I clicked the seat belt, and Prowl crawled to the side of the highway. We sat and watched traffic for a few minutes, and he seemed to get a kick out of watching people hit the brakes as they read his new paint job. Finally, he crawled onto the highway, hitting the gas as soon as his wheels had pavement. He didn't have Barricade's explosive power, but he sure as hell had a kick.


	23. A Question of Morals

_cringes_ it's been forever and the chap is short. but i felt inspired, so... here! _runs_

* * *

Prowl cruised along the highway, flipping through channels on his radio and police scanner merrily

"You humans have an unexpectedly complicated law enforcement system, considering the high levels of crime your people seem to enjoy. It would seem there is either a crippling lack of effective leadership or an overabundance of professional criminals."

"It's probably both," I mumbled, my ears trained more on the scanner than on Prowl. As the scanner buzzed quickly through the frequencies I picked up only snippets, but after the arrival of all of those new decepticons I expected to hear a lot more about them very soon. I wasn't disappointed.

" – building was cut short when several unexplained explosions destroyed more than half of the building and construction equipment - "

Prowl habitually changed the station, but I could practically see his steering wheel stiffen as I leaned forward to switch the station back myself. He beat me to it.

"The construction foreman on site at the government funded lab in the Colorado Rocky Mountains claims to have seen large robotic creatures climb out of the wreckage of the destroyed buildings. They are similar in description to the robots of Mission City, and may be related to recent violent appearances in both Texas and California, as well as unconfirmed reports from Egypt and Russia. Officials say they will be investigating the sightings and corresponding with international authorities very closely. In other news, vegetables might be making you fat! Leading experts - "

"Egypt and Russia?" I asked.

"I believe Perceptor is the source of one of those sightings, but the other is a mystery to me."

"Skywarp left in a hurry, he may have been headed to one of those places…"

"It's likely. Both countries seem to have vast areas of uninhabited land, its possible that a damaged Cybertronian is hiding there. I hope Optimus has this information… We really must hurry back."

With that he switched on his lights and began accelerating. Glancing down at his speedometer, he quickly settled on 120 mph. I checked my seatbelt.

"You're a good driver right?"

Prowl's disembodied voice chuckled through the car. "I can keep track of countless warriors on a battlefield with no trouble and formulate battle strategies around each man's strengths and weaknesses in less than a second, Bravura. Maintaining stability for my own body is nothing." To emphasize he whipped around a couple of cars who had failed to notice him in time to get out of the way. I caught a glimpse of a shocked older man's face as we sailed around a minivan and felt a jolt at what I thought I saw looking straight through his car and out the other window.

"Prowl, I think if you can make a hologram for the wheel you need to make it right now," I whispered, unnecessarily quiet as I sank low in my seat. We were moving so fast whatever I may have seen was long out of sight, but I was still worried.

"What's wrong?" He was instantly alert, and I sighed in relief as a clean-cut middle-aged man with steel gray hair appeared in the driver's seat.

"I thought I saw someone in the trees back there… But maybe I'm just paranoid."

"Someone? Anyone in particular?"

"… I thought I saw Barricade in his alt... But I only saw him for a second. Maybe I'm wrong, he's supposed to be somewhere else right now."

"I didn't sense anything, but if he wasn't mobile it's possible he was able to silence his system's signals. I say we go on as planned. If he was there, he may have missed us. If it was Barricade and he did see us, we have more to worry about than just him. The Constructicons won't be far behind, but they'll have to catch us first."

"Do you mean those six decepticons back there? Why are they called the Constructicons?"

"There's a long story behind that, but essentially they were renowned builders back on Cybertron. They can also join together and form a much larger entity called Devastator. They are formidable, separately and as Devastator."

I twisted around in my seat and peeked behind us, looking for any sign of trouble, then scanned the sky as best I could. Nothing drew my attention, so I settled down and tried to trust Prowl's judgment. He would probably feel them coming, anyway.

I succumbed to my exhaustion at some point on our trip.

I was facing down the men who'd held me captive in Texas. The sight of them made my adrenaline spike, but two huge shadows loomed over me and I felt relief. On my left a black and purple foot stepped past me, on my right ruby red and yellow. Skywarp and Hotrod.

"You're just like me," they whispered together. I looked up, first into Skywarp's possessive stare and then into Hotrod's.

"After what they did to you…" Skywarp growled.

"We can help you." Hotrod murmured.

"Hurting you!"

"Every living thing has a right..."

I woke up again when the sun had been on its downward slant for a while. The clock on Prowl's dash read 5:12. I shivered and glanced at the climate control; Prowl had it on full blast, at the lowest temperature.

"It's freezing in here."

"I know."

"Well, do you mind if I turn it up?"

"Yes, I mind."

"... Why?"

"You may not know this, but going as fast as I have been, I'm putting off quite a bit more heat than your average human car. I'm trying to balance that out until we can reach a safe spot for the night. Can you tough it out?"

I hugged myself and tried to think about warmer things. "If it's gonna keep us safer, sure. But I'll need to pick up a coat if we do this much longer."

"Lucky for the both of us, we should be able to rendezvous with Ironhide by midday tomorrow. I chanced a quick communication while you were sleeping. It's why I'm adding the extra precaution."

I'd heard of Ironhide and he seemed like a formidable guy, so I wasn't complaining. A little extra firepower couldn't hurt, and he did fend off Barricade not so long ago…

I stretched as straight as I could to loosen up my muscles, and then curled up into a ball for warmth. Prowl still had the radio on, barely audible over the blast of the air conditioner.

"The suspects in the Camilla Phillips murder case have been brought into custody and charges have been filed. Court dates will be announced. Officials say-"

I shuddered and changed the station. I hadn't known my disappearance had meant anything to anyone.


	24. On the Radar

*** **looks around shyly * Hi again everyone… I wrote a little. It's short, but I did it as a sign of good faith. I have a question for any readers who care… Do you like the turn Bravura took? She's a little whiney baby if you ask me, I don't like her much anymore… So there are two options, as I see it… Either I go back and cut out the entire Red was a rapist memory stuff, or she gets stronger as a character and gets over it remarkably quickly, probably by having irrational feelings for a robot. Opinions and comments are welcome :) If you wanna flame at least throw in some constructive criticism! Love ya'll.

* * *

Riding with Prowl was certainly giving me some time to think. My outrage at the men who'd kidnapped me in Texas had boiled down, and I was able to look at things more rationally. My dream had featured Hotrod and Skywarp, both pulling me down different moral paths… If I sided with Skywarp, I would get the revenge I believed I craved. But… What if the death of those men didn't help me feel more at peace with it? What if it only made things worse?

I was also afraid that the report on the radio, the one about finding my 'murderers,' involved the wrong people. What if they hadn't captured Red, but some other poor jerk in the wrong place at the wrong time? I hoped the officials had taken all of the five men in the trailer that night.

Hotrod from my dreams flooded my mind, his compassionate blue eyes looking down at me…

I sighed and looked out the passenger window. It wasn't as if I had a choice. I couldn't control my future, it seemed, since I'd already been passed around with very little effort on my part as it was. I missed Hotrod's innocent affection and Mirage's brotherly comfort. Well… maybe not so brotherly, but lacking Hotrod's enthusiasm. Both were certainly far from Skywarp's obsessive and seemingly pointless interest in me. I couldn't imagine why he wanted to keep me.

Thinking that, _why_ he would keep me, brought back a flicker of imagery from the trailer in Texas. They'd kept me all right… But I knew why they'd done it. Skywarp was a mystery. I didn't want to put human motives in that alien mind, but if he were a man, I'd think he was either desperately alone and suffering from a loss, or he wanted to control something that had defied it's own race. He seemed to have taken to leadership quickly. Maybe I was a source of courage, a pitiful sort of role model? But no… He wasn't human. I couldn't know.

Another mystery was why the Autobots had failed to mention my existence to anyone. You'd think hiding a supposed murder victim would be negative in their book… But then, maybe I just wasn't a high priority. I didn't mean that much to Ratchet or Optimus Prime. They'd probably get around to it, if they found out people were being charged with my death when I was clearly alive and kicking. I hoped they didn't find out, or if they did, that they didn't act on their knowledge. I didn't want to be forced to join the world of the living. I felt safe in my small sphere of robot companions.

Was I safe? I'd been thrown from mech to mech in a game of human hot potato, and it was a wonder I was still alive. Hotrod and Bumblebee and Mirage would fight to help me, but what about Thundercracker and Frenzy? What did they care?

I rubbed my arms, goose bumps from the chill making me feel distinctly crocodilian. "When are we stopping, Prowl?"

"When we reach Ironhide."

"You mean we aren't stopping for the night?"

"No-o-o." He dragged it out, sounding like a good-natured teacher correcting the slow kid.

"Well… can we hit the rest stop? Please? I need to do some human things… Bodily functions and all that fun stuff."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it true that almost every time you stop somewhere besides Autobot City itself, you get attacked by the enemy?"

I thought about that, and finally nodded unwillingly. "They're tracking credit cards or something. Hotrod and Mirage used-"

"I think it's you. I think there's a low grade tracking device on you somewhere, and until I have backup we aren't stopping. The natural Autobot output probably weakens or disrupts the tracking signal, which is why nobody came looking for you in Autobot City; all those combined system outputs plus being underground masked the tracking signal." Prowl sounded serious. He'd said he could handle a lot of information, but how could he have decided on some kind of tracking bug with what little information Optimus could have given him?

"Why would you think that? Everything points to the credit cards, and besides, I would know if they stuck a chip in me!"

"Not if you were recharging."

I fell silent. I had been in that log cabin with Frenzy and Barricade for days… Could Frenzy have done something to me? I wriggled uncomfortably. They say that when you microchip your pet, they never even know it's there.

I felt deflated, vulnerable to a whole new degree. I even resented myself a little, for believing for a moment that Skywarp cared about me like a person. If he had me microchipped like a dog, I really was just a pet. Maybe the favorite pet, but little more than an animal in his eyes, or optics, or whatever those glowing things on their faces were.

"What time should we meet Ironhide tomorrow, Prowl?"

He didn't respond, but his digital clock flashed **10:00 am** until I grunted an acknowledgment. The sun was only just going down.

I buckled down for a long, long night.


	25. Reunion

I've had a couple of suggestions to tough it out... So I will. I'll try to like girl '_'

So when I updated a year ago they didn't have any fancy country by country month by month traffic trackers. I was so fascinated that I watched someone from australia go through all 24 of the other chapters... and then not review. Does this make me a creeper? Hmm... I would love opinions on the story at this point, or if I mix things up or forget things... it's been a while :\

* * *

I won't go into detail about that night with Prowl… You'd think that not getting a chance to drink anything but a cup of water at the hotel would have me all set for the night. Oh no. Ohhh no. Let's just say Prowl was serious about not letting me out of the car, and it's a good thing McDonald's will give you an empty cup if you ask nicely from a police car.

Things were obviously a little uncomfortable after that, not on Prowl's side since apparently being modest about that sort of thing only happens when you do it on a regular basis, but I was silent for the rest of the trip, until we saw Ironhide the next morning.

"See that big black truck down the highway?" Prowl asked me.

I squinted and nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"It's Ironhide. Look behind him."

Ironhide wasn't alone. Glinting just behind him on the highway was a ruby Aston Martin.

"Hotrod… Hotrod!!!" I resisted the urge to pound on Prowl's dashboard, and Hotrod flashed his brights twice, probably to make sure I saw him. Relief flooded me in a way I never could have expected, and suddenly I was nervous. Hotrod was definitely more human-friendly than Skywarp, but that difference was getting a little too friendly…

At least, I wanted to think the idea of a nearly twenty foot tall robot having honest feelings for me was uncomfortable or repulsive, but somehow, deep down in the mishmash of emotions that made up me, I wanted it. Maybe it could never be the kind of thing I must of dreamed about growing up, having a beautiful wedding on the beach with fabulous peacocks chasing the guest's children while the wind blew sand into everyone's cake… Children. There would never be any children.

Prowl unexpectedly pulled over on the shoulder of the highway and I watched as Hotrod blew past us, only to do a U-turn and pull up behind us on the road with only minimal terror to the regular drivers going about their business. Ironhide disappeared going the opposite direction, probably looking for a normal exit to avoid attention.

"Hotrod wants to know if you'd prefer to ride with him." Prowl sounded wary. "I don't know if we should risk it. If there really is a tracking device we have no idea how long it will take for the Decepticons to find you… Even the moment it takes to get to him might be enough."

My heart was leaping in my chest. "Maybe… Back up as close as you can and I'll run. A few seconds tops, from your seat to his. It took them at least a half hour to find me last time."

"This is a bad idea."

"Please, Prowl. Minimal risk, I swear."

I could hear his motor grumbling unhappily, but the passenger side door popped open. I whooped with glee and bolted out as soon as I got unbuckled, crashing into Hotrod's passenger side door in my haste.

"Oh, uh, oops! Door handle, heh…" I spluttered. This had to be high school all over again. I pulled the door open and swung in, settling into the leather with a pleased sigh. After I gathered my wits, I looked up to see his hologram staring at me with looked to be relief and panic at the same time. My eyes swept over the hair, the crackling blue of his eyes. His hologram was beautiful, not like Prowl's, which had resembled Barricade's so much that I'd avoided looking at it.

He spoke first. "I lost you again. They took you. I'm sorry, I'm so sor-"

As he spoke I leaned over the console and with my eyes open wide to gauge the distance, pressed my lips where his hologram's were. It crackled almost painfully against my skin and I didn't actually touch anything solid, but it shut him up and I leaned back, watching.

His fingers came up to his mouth, his eyes staring at me in shock. "You kissed me?"

I shifted uncomfortably in the seat, fumbling for the seatbelt to avoid his eyes. "Yes. It seemed like the right thing to do."

"Bravura?"

I looked up slowly, uncertain now. High school, all over again.

"Maybe… I can get the hologram upgrades so that… next time… I don't give you static hair."

My hands flew up and indeed, my hair was floating in ways it definitely shouldn't. I frantically smoothed it down as Hotrod's laughter filled the car. Once I was satisfied with a peek in the visor mirror, I looked back at him. His engine rumbled and he pulled onto the highway, Prowl several car lengths ahead already.

He was serious again. "I'm glad you're ok. It was my fault for letting it happen, I should've been quicker." His eyes swept me up and down, then practically bugged out at the sight of my arm. "Your cast! Where's your cast?! You must be in excruciating pain! I don't have your pain pills! How could they do that? What kind of torture did they put you through? What kind of sick degenerate-"

I let him go for a while, waiting for him to run out of insults before I held up my arm and waved my hand, rotating my wrist. "Skywarp fixed it, somehow. And no, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. Just bad luck… and maybe a tracking chip that Frenzy stuck in me somewhere."

Hotrod mouth hung open for a long moment, and then he went blank, but I could feel the rage boiling off of him. "That hopeless moron experimented on you? He's an idiot, he's only good for sneak attacks, he is useless without Starscream! And a tracking device too? Are they trying to give you cancer or just save the time and kill you outright?!"

"It's ok, Hotrod. Ratchet will check it out. Maybe there isn't one, it's just what Prowl thinks-"

"Prowl is almost always right. They've been trying to track you all this time and I never knew a thing. I should've known, _I_ spent the most time with you."

I stared at my lap helplessly, feeling his blue eyes on me. I wished he had to watch the road. The overprotective tone he'd taken on reminded me of Skywarp, of me going to him and asking to sleep on his chest. I was pitiful… But who _would_ want to be left alone at night after… after what I'd been through in Texas?

As I thought about the revenge I'd requested, the mistake of it suddenly hit me. If Hotrod found out I'd sent Barricade on a murder mission… Killing without cause went against everything the Autobots seemed to stand for, and this cold-blooded killing… It was because of me that those men would probably die. I was no better than Barricade, crushing my parents in a furious fit.

"What's wrong?" His rage had lessened as he watched my expression fade from fake cheerfulness to outright shame.

"Nothing… Just… Nothing." I looked out the passenger side window, hugging myself. Hotrod's hologram stared for a long time, then I heard it flicker out, giving me the illusion of privacy.

Hours later my hunger was becoming unbearable. I hadn't eaten a decent meal since Autobot city. Hotrod's clock said it was a little after noon, and a billboard advertising a seedy drive through restaurant made me drool.

I reached over and tapped the driver's seat, hoping it caught his attention. "Hey, remember when you burnt that grilled cheese for me…?"

"Er… yes."

"Do you think you could make it up to me by letting us stop and get some food? I'll stay in the car, and I won't spill anything on you."

"I'll ask Prowl and Ironhide." A long moment passed, then, "Prowl say's it only about 40 miles to Autobot City. As fast as we're going, it should only be 20 minutes or so. Can you wait?"

I moaned and curled into my seat childishly. "What do you know, you probably never get hungry…"

"Not true, I need energon from time to time."

I looked back at the empty driver's seat. "Really? I've never seen that."

"Yup, out of little cubes. Prowl is probably starving too, you know."

I sighed and stared at my lap once again. I was feeling more and more petulant all the time. "Ok… I can wait."

"That's my girl. Sam and Bee aren't home, but… Mirage will be happy to see you."

I was surprised he'd mentioned Mirage. "Is Mirage ok?"

"He's fine… kind of peeved his second best hologram got slagged, and he took some pretty solid hits in the fight at the hotel, blacked out an optic and everything, but he's all right. He fought hard to try to save you…"

I nodded. Hotrod was having trouble hating someone who wanted to protect the same thing he did. Of all the transformers, Mirage had made the most effort to figure out what I needed, from getting me out of Autobot City for a break to comforting me in a weak moment. I really needed that zero-pressure friendship. Hotrod was great to have around, but somehow I just didn't want to spill my true feelings to him. He seemed like such a kid sometimes, and I wasn't sure how much he would like me if he knew what I was really like. I knew that was a mistake; he needed to care about me for who I was, not who I wanted him to see.

I almost chuckled to myself at that thought. Most of the mechs I knew didn't seem to bother with protecting my emotions, especially not Skywarp. Skywarp, the one who was possibly the most irrational about the twisted situation I was trapped in, probably cared about my needs the least, excepting Barricade, who probably wished I was dead. I realized that somehow the distance from my feelings was a good thing… I could deal with my pain on my own time.


	26. Humanity Comes Knocking

Returning to Autobot City was happy, but traumatic. To my shock there were men in military uniform milling around in the hallways. Mirage was waiting for us as we came in through the locking gate and he had to wave down several men with rifles as they aimed at the three vehicles, and me by association. Mirage had me in his clutches the moment I stepped out of Hotrod, holding me up to get a better look at me as my Vanquish mech transformed.

"You're ok! Look at you, you're better than ok! Where's your cast? You don't know how worried we all were!"

I smiled and stretched out my arms to his face like a small child begging for 'uppy,' so he shifted me to his shoulder. I slid out of his hand, then grabbed onto his head and hugged him tightly, despite feeling the wrath of Hotrod nearby.

"I hear you took a few hits for me, Mirage… Sorry you got hurt."

"It was nothing! You were worth it, my dear!" I could swear that Mirage would've winked at Hotrod if he'd had an eyelid.

"Hey, hey! He's not the only one who cared! I came to meet you didn't I?" Hotrod whined, his hands on his shiny metal hips.

I looked to Hotrod and smiled. "Of course you did." I looked around, suddenly realizing that Prowl and Ironhide had disappeared, and that the human guards at the gate were watching me with expressions ranging from disapproval to curiosity to suspicion. I looked away nervously and tried to cover my discomfort by looking for Prowl and Ironhide. "Where did the others go?"

"Probably talking to Optimus," Mirage replied.

"Aren't you hungry Bravura? Let's go get some food!" Hotrod reached his hands up to me, his mood suddenly turning as sweet as sugar. I gave Mirage's head another squeeze then transferred myself to Hotrod's outstretched palms, almost immediately finding myself perched on his shoulder. Probably something to do with the jealousy between them; Hotrod would not be shown up.

I leaned into Hotrod's head and neck contentedly, feeling a decrease in my guilt for the first time since Thundercracker had swept me up and away from my Autobot friends. I was still a little guilty of course, for requesting Red's execution, but it seemed to distance itself from my immediate thoughts in Hotrod's forceful cheerfulness.

I shook my head slowly. The six new Decepticons would change the way the Autobots were living here on Earth. It was clear to me that the army had moved into the City because of the arrival of the Constructicons. The presence of the enemy had risen from a frustrating problem to a serious situation and I secretly prayed that Hotrod wouldn't be sent out to fight, knowing those prayers wouldn't be answered.

I watched trickles of uniformed men rush up and down the hallways. I avoided eye contact when they looked up long enough to see me, instead looking down vaguely at Hotrod's chest or his feet as they connected solidly with the industrial concrete of the floor. To my dismay, when we got to the rec. hall almost a dozen men were already there, either eating or playing some of the games arranged in the areas decorated with human-size furniture.

Hotrod seemed aware of my tension and shielded me from the room with his large hand, turning his head towards me. While his crystalline eyes bathed me in a cool blue glow he whispered, "You have to face your own kind some day. I'll be right beside you. You can do it." He smiled, his crackly electrified 'teeth' showing. I sighed and pressed my forehead to his cheek for a long moment, then leaned back and nodded grimly.

Hotrod put me down next to the fridge then sat down Indian style next to the table I'd eaten at with Sam not so long ago. I tried to gather my courage, telling myself that this wasn't any different from meeting Sam. I knew I was lying to myself. Sam was part of this strange life, his future tied in with Bee's and the Autobots'. These army men were a part of that future as well, but not in a personal way. They weren't here because the Autobots made up a huge part of their lives. No, they were here on orders. It wasn't like meeting with Sam at all, I admitted.

Once again avoiding the eyes that had targeted me ever since we'd entered the rec. room, I grabbed a couple of slices of cold pizza and a bottled water out of the large fridge, which was much better stocked now that people actually seemed to be occupying the place. I grabbed a paper plate off a stack on the counter next to the stove and made my way back to our table, staring at the ground self-consciously. I was so determined not to look at anyone that I didn't realize someone else was already sitting there, across from Hotrod, until I'd already taken my seat.

I was raising the pizza to my mouth when a soft cough made me drop it in a tiny internal explosion of nerves. I looked up unwillingly to see the man across from me. He was wearing a white t-shirt and dog tags, his hair buzzed and his face clean-shaven. He wasn't particularly attractive but he was pleasant enough to look at. Never the less, I blushed furiously.

"Sorry," he said, smiling apologetically. "I sat here when you weren't looking. Your friend didn't seem to mind," he said with a tilt to Hotrod, who was leaning over me.

I stared at him blankly, and he continued, beginning to look a little uncomfortable. "My name is Zeke, what's yours?"

I wondered which name I should give him and quickly made up my mind, mentally kicking myself for even debating using my old name. "Bravura."

His faced twisted ever so slightly. "That's… uh… different."

"Apparently I earned it."

He reached back and rubbed his neck. "Yeah… well… welcome to the base. It's pretty weird in here, but it's not so bad. Maybe I could show you around when you're done with lunch?" He leaned back over the table and gave me what he probably thought was a charming smile.

"I already have a tour guide, but thanks anyway." I knew I was being rude, but I couldn't help myself.

"Oh- um. Yeah, I'll see you around then?"

I made a noncommittal sound of agreement and he rose awkwardly, heading over to a table with several other men, who'd been watching the whole little exchange and burst into laughter moments after he sat down. I looked down at my pizza and realized my appetite was gone. I looked back at Hotrod pleadingly, and he made a noise that sounded an awful lot like a sigh.

"We can leave when you've eaten something, ok? Just a few bites. I don't want you catching anorexia."

I cracked a smile for the first time since entering the rec. hall. "You don't catch anorexia. It's more of a disorder, not a disease you can catch like a cold."

"Ah. Yes, you're right… Even so, you've gotta be starving! That cheese and bread wedge looks very… scrumptious."

I grinned. "You haven't looked up pizza yet? I'm almost disappointed! It's an American staple, Hotrod, but it's much better fresh." I finally took a big bite from the slice I'd dropped. As I chewed my stomach insisted that pizza, hot or cold, was definitely good to have no matter what my adrenaline was doing to the rest of me.

"Hey, I've been very busy! With lots of important things!"

I swallowed and sipped at my water, then look up at him. "With?"

He stared at me. "Saving you, and other more confidential things."

"Confidential?"

He flicked at some invisible dirt on one arm, and then looked at me with a very human shrug. "Yes, that means I can't tell you."

"I know that! But come on, it's _me_! You can tell me!"

He shook his head. "Actually, you're the one person I can't tell."

I felt my eyes get huge. "You've been sneaking around behind my back! Who is it, some hot little toaster? A George Foreman grill? That's getting a little butch, but if that's your thing-"

"I have NOT been spending my time with cooking tools! You'll find out soon, I promise."

I smiled up at him, then turned back to my pizza, my hunger overcoming my desire to pry. I was finally beginning to relax emotionally, the angst of the last couple of days melting away in this familiar place. I mused about what secret Hotrod was keeping as I ate my pizza. The vanity in me wanted to say he was preparing a surprise or present, but the rest of me shook that thought off quickly. He was a in a sort of military, just like all these new army guys, and he had a life that extended well beyond my small world.

I drained the last of my water as I took my empty plate to the industrial sized trash can that had appeared next to the fridge, tossing them both away and returning to Hotrod, almost skipping from the sudden lightness in my chest.

"You know big guy, that Zeke person made me realize I don't know my way around in here… So you think maybe it's time I learned?" I asked.

Hotrod nodded enthusiastically. "That's a great idea! Where should we go first? The sick bay? The human barracks? Our room?"

I smiled. _Our room_. "The sick bay, if you think Ratchet will be there. I need a check up, and maybe he can tell me if I'm carrying a tracking chip."

Hotrod nodded agreeably and held out his hand to lift me up, but I waved it away. "I was hoping to walk, maybe I'll remember the way better?"

He nodded slowly, and then surprised me by reaching up and popping a small chamber on his chest open. He pulled out a baseball sized arrangement of delicate looking metal things and lowered it to floor. There was a flicker, like a fluorescent light turning on, and where the arrangement had been now stood Hotrod's handsome brown-haired hologram.

This was the first time I'd ever seen Hotrod's hologram standing up, and his height threw me off. He was wearing a red button-up shirt with the top few buttons left open to reveal a teensy peek what had to be a nice chest. A yellow autobot symbol graced it liked a brand-name logo. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and he had on a pair of dark jeans that clung to his hips in just the right way...

Feeling my thoughts taking a dive for the gutter, I snapped my gaze up guiltily to his crackling blue eyes, which were dancing with silent laughter. As I stared up at him, jaw hanging just a little slack, he leaned down quickly and gave me a peck on the cheek, more chaste than the one I'd given him in the car. At first I thought the kiss was electric, 'sparks flying' and all that, but then I realized he'd literally shocked me as I felt my hair floating away from my skull.

"You did it again!" I squeaked, smoothing my hair down frantically as a few men around the rec. hall started laughing. The mech Hotrod reached down to just barely touch me with one finger and I felt and heard the crackle of static electricity jumping to him. My hair settled, and I looked from the mech to the hologram a little confusedly, wondering who to speak to.

As the mech stood up, the hologram continued to smile amiably, gesturing towards the wide-open entrance of the rec. hall. "Come on. I'm using the hologram so that people don't think you're walking the halls alone with a mech. They might bother you, being a female out of uniform."

"And you don't think they'd bother a man out of uniform?" I asked, aching to reach out and touch him and briefly envisioning this hologram 'out of uniform.' I caught myself smiling foolishly and toned it down just a bit, though I still felt as giddy as a schoolgirl.

"Well, at least I'm wearing the right badge," he said, tapping the Autobot symbol on his shirt. I looked down to the purple and black Decepticon tattoo on my left wrist, tracing it with the thumb of my right hand.

"Are you coming?" Hologram Hotrod called over his shoulder as he followed his mech body out of the rec. hall, and I ogled his butt for just a moment before rushing after him into the hallway.

Travel took much longer on foot than by robot, but I did begin to notice things I hadn't before. Down at this level there were words in black paint like **LOGISTICS, COMMAND, ** and **TRAINING** along with helpful arrows. I soon spotted **MEDIC** and was commenting on this to Hotrod when someone grabbed me by the shoulder and spun me around.

I was face to chin with someone, so I looked up. He was an older man with gray hair and wrinkles. He was staring at me with shock and disbelief, his eyebrows twitching.

He began to make a stuttering sound, until I finally made out the words he was trying to say. "Cammy? You're alive?"


	27. Melting

I watched the old man's eyes filling with unshed tears and slowly asked, "Why did you call me that?"

"I know you never liked that nickname, but- you're alive, Darlene and I thought you were gone! Where have you been all these months, Camilla? We had the funeral and Reagan Scott started a charity in your honor. Honey, why didn't you call us?" He finished with a quivering voice, then hugged me with such love and sincerity that I didn't protest.

"Excuse me," Hotrod said quietly from his hologram. "How do you know my friend?"

The old man held me a moment longer, sniffling, then stepped away, quickly wiping away a few stray tears. When he was more composed he straightened up and looked at Hotrod a little defensively. "I would ask you the same question. Who are you and how do you know my best friend's daughter?"

I finally understood. He had known one of my parents. My throat tightened at the thought of them, but I drove it away and turned my mind back to Hotrod and the man.

"I am the Autobot Hotrod. I was involved in the rescue of Brav- Camilla Phillips when she was being held by the Decepticons the first time."

The old man looked to me in surprise. "What about that Bucklin man in Texas? They found your things in his house! You've been with the Decepticons all this time?"

I shook my head slowly. His name was Bucklin? "He had a trailer, not a house. A man did kidnap me… He had me for a - a long time. I was trying to get away when Skywarp, the Decepticon in charge now, scared them away and took me with him. Those men would have killed me if Skywarp hadn't been there."

Hotrod cleared his throat uncomfortably, and I shifted to stand a little closer to his mech body, placing a hand on his leg for strength.

"Alright, let me get this straight. You," he said, pointing to the Hotrod hologram, "think you're an Autobot, He," pointing to the actual Hotrod, "is Skywarp, and you, Camilla, didn't think to tell anyone that you were alive?"

"Actually," the mech Hotrod said, speaking from his real body for the first time since we'd met the old man, "I'm Hotrod. That man down there is just a hologram, he's just a visual representation. Skywarp doesn't know where Autobot City is. If he did he would be here fighting to steal Bravu- Camilla back. She didn't tell anyone she was alive because she hit her head trying to escape and has been suffering from amnesia ever since. I'm sure she would have notified you if she'd been able. In fact, she probably has no idea who you are."

I leaned heavily against Hotrod, relieved to have the explanation taken care of for me.

The man looked shaken, eyes on me the whole time, and then took a step forward. "Is it true? You don't know who I am?"

"No… I'm sorry."

"Oh honey, don't be sorry, it's not your fault. I'm Carl Dicer. Your dad and I served together in Desert Storm. We stayed good friends even after he quit the service. My wife and I spent every holiday with your family that we could make it to: Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, birthdays, anniversaries. You were good friends with my daughter Susan." He rubbed his eyes again. "Your dad asked me to be your Godfather, back when you were born. I know you're all grown up now, but… I felt responsible when you died- when we all thought you were dead."

I had begun to cry without realizing it. Tears were streaming down my face as I looked at this old man, this stranger, my family. He was crying too, and this time when he held me in his arms I hugged him back.

After a few minutes we parted and we both brushed away tears, laughing foolishly.

"Are you staying here in the City?" Carl asked.

"Yes, Hotrod's more or less my permanent bodyguard," I said smiling up at my friend.

"Good... good. I'm in the middle of something at the moment, I've got things to look into, but I'll track you down soon. Where are you staying? One of the empty Officer's Quarters?"

"No, I have a cot in Hotrod's room."

Carl's eyes hardened just slightly, then he nodded. "I'll come see you later, Cammy. I'm glad you're ok."

I smiled. "See you later."

As he walked away, I leaned against Hotrod again, sliding to the floor unexpectedly. I felt drained, relieved, and shaken, but good.

Hotrod's hologram crouched next to me. "Are you ok Bravura?"

"Yes, I'm just happy, and tired. Do you think I can get that ride to sick bay after all?"

"Of course!" He was giving me a heart-melting smile when he flickered out and the little metal generator started falling to the floor. My arm shot out and I caught it, surprising myself. The adrenaline of the day must have given me a boost.

I stood up and waited for Hotrod to reach down, climbing into one hand and giving him the tiny generator, which he plugged back into his chest.

We reached the sickbay quickly. Hotrod punched in the short code, and I noticed that at a more human height there was a similar keypad. "What's the code, Hotrod?"

"9, 8, 7. It's not a big secret, but it does give Ratchet a little extra security. He does have to protect the injured, after all."

"Right."

The door slid open and we entered. Ratchet was across the room speaking with woman in a white coat, presumably a doctor, who was standing on a platform atop a scaffold that put at her about chest height with the big autobot. They both looked at us, then the doctor began walking down a narrow stairway on the scaffold. Ratchet came to us as the doctor moved over to a computer console.

"Do you have a patient for us Hotrod? Oh, Bravura!" Ratchet looked delighted. "How is your arm?"

I held up my healed arm, and he frowned as much as his metal face would allow. "How did this happen? You should still be wearing that cast. Do you need a replacement? Dr. Peyton will be happy to assist you."

"No, no," I said quickly. "Skywarp used a machine on me that healed it. It was… painful. But it seems to have worked. I was hoping you could take a closer look at it… And also look for a tracking chip Frenzy might've implanted a while back."

"I see. Hotrod, take her to the exam table, would you?" he asked, gesturing to the overlarge table I'd sat on not so long ago, when he'd revealed my real name and a small bit of my history. My heart twisted.

He leaned in close, and several odd looking extensions popped out of his right arm, which he pointed at me. I felt a tickling sensation, especially in a focused area in my right arm, supposedly where I'd had the break. I commented on this to Ratchet, and he made an unhappy humming sound.

"I'm getting some abnormal readings from your arm. No sign of a tracking chip, but in your arm it almost reads like… metal. All along the break line, Cybertronian metal has infused with your bone. Have you been experiencing any pain before today?"

"Not since Skywarp zapped it."

"I see. And you said you experienced pain when he did this?"

"Yes, intense plain. I fainted," I said, trying to avoid the memories my blackout had dredged up.

"There are tiny traces of metal up your arm. Imagine an Earth ant leaving an ant sized trail of bread crumbs all along the nervous system of your arm…" He shifted slightly, getting his arm closer. "all the way to a point between your shoulder blades. It's probably where Frenzy implanted the chip, but… It looks like whatever Skywarp used on you created a reaction. It pulled the chip a few atoms at a time to fuse the break in your arm… Fascinating!"

"Uh, yes…" Whatever he was using to examine me was beginning to cause a dull ache in my arm.

"You know, I believe the metal's moving… Almost as if it were spreading. Are you sure you feel nothing?"

"It's started to hurt, since you began looking."

"Oh my." He pulled his arm away and the pain tapered off immediately to an insistent itch. "And now?"

"Much better." I rubbed it, trying to ease the itch, but of course it didn't help at all.

"I hope one of those crash landings on the other continents was Perceptor like Prowl expects… These findings are alarming."

Hotrod spoke up for the first time during the whole examination. I'd forgotten he was there, so I jumped slightly. "What's wrong with her?"

"Ah… I'd rather not make any conjectures with the limited data. I want you to come back daily, Bravura, so I can monitor this- phenomenon."

I left the sickbay with Hotrod feeling slightly shaken. Cybertronian metal had healed my arm? How was that even possible?

Hotrod took me to our room without even asking. I was glad. I just wanted to curl up next to him and let my mind go blank. He sat up on his recharge pad, still cradling me in his hands, and I curled against his stomach, fighting shivers that were running down my spine. I was overwhelmed. Men in the base. Family out of nowhere. Some strange technology which nobody knew anything about was part of my body now.

I wasn't too tired, so I didn't sleep, but I was lulled by the soft humming of Hotrod's internal workings and the thumb he occasionally rubbed down my back.

I don't know how much time passed when Hotrod shifted. I looked up questioningly at him.

"Optimus sent a message to all the Autobots… Skywarp has been teleporting erratically all over the western United States. He's damaged a few buildings, but doesn't seem to be trying to hurt any humans. A news feed caught him demanding we come out of hiding and return what belongs to him."

"I see."

"The base is on high alert, but as long as we're careful he shouldn't be able to find us. The plus side to whatever happened to your chip is that it's probably too melted to work. So he can't just find you wherever you go anymore."

"Yes… that's good." Never mind whatever else it could do to me.


	28. A Fork in the Socket

I'm sure many of you saw right away what I want to do with the story, in fact I've already gotten reviews and PMs both for and against it. I still haven't made up my mind on where this story will go, but I'm in the zone and it's going _somewhere,_ darnit!

A big thanks to whitedino for encouraging me to write what makes me happy, and for digging me out of a plothole effortlessly. A big thanks to The Great Susinko as well, for fabulously detailed reviews that make me want to hug somebody! I appreciate all the feedback, ya'll!

* * *

I think Hotrod was more tired than he'd led me to believe, despite all of the chipper smiles and selfless interest in my well-being. He fell into what looked like a deep recharge, his eyes dimming down almost to the point of not glowing at all.

I ran my hand over the metal of his stomach, my cheek and ear pressed to him to listen to his hum. I'd been wrong on the way here. Hotrod did care about my feelings. He wanted to understand me, and somehow he'd known I'd been afraid of human contact. I hadn't even told him about what Bucklin had put me through. Then again, he hadn't been surprised when Carl Dicer had mentioned it; he'd probably seen or heard the news reports long before I had.

I let my mind wander back to those long weeks. I'd left my college and cut off all connections with anyone I knew for about a month and a half, living off the money I'd drained from my ample bank account. I'd started drinking heavily, visiting places I never would've dreamed of before. Bucklin had drugged me, taken all of my petty cash, and trapped me for over a month. I bit back a surge of resentment towards my old self for allowing the whole experience to go on for so long. The new me would have done things so differently.

I started to cry as images of the horrible things he'd done flashed through my mind. This was why I'd asked Skywarp to kill him. I didn't even hate the men in green or blue very much anymore, or the ones I'd drugged who'd never made it out of the trailer. I hated Red. Bucklin. As much as it tore me up to admit it, the desire to see him dead was still alarmingly strong.

After a while I reined in the feeling of helplessness and terror my memories had brought to life. I waited until I felt that'd I'd be able to pass the scrutiny of passing soldiers without drawing extra attention to myself with a pair of red, puffy eyes, then slowly began to remove myself from Hotrod's lap. I took my time, finally easing to the recharge bench and then slowly lowering myself from the edge, dropping four or five feet even dangling from my fingertips, fully extended. I surprised myself my rolling out of the fall and bobbing up on my feet again. An aikido instinct, apparently.

I froze to make sure my fall hadn't woken him, then made my way out, barely able to open the door enough to squeeze through. I'd never noticed how much stronger my right arm was than my left. Maybe I'd been in tennis in school. I muscled the door shut behind me, and after searching for the markings on the wall, headed in the same direction as the **MESS & REC** arrow.

I wasn't trying to get away from Hotrod, but I did want to sit down in front of the TV and watch the news. I didn't care if strangers would be there, I would just ignore them, or at least that's what I told myself. I didn't really know what I'd do if someone bothered me.

Skywarp was looking for me. I rubbed my arm, imagining I felt that tingly itch from before. Maybe he knew what was happening. Maybe it was supposed to do this, grow a little so the break was stronger. Then again, Skywarp probably wouldn't have planned to use my tracking chip, his failsafe, in order to heal me. No, this metal thing was a mistake.

I couldn't decide if I was flattered or terrified by the prospect of Skywarp's search. What girl wouldn't _love_ to be that important to someone? But then… Skywarp seemed a little crazy, over the top, or maybe just misunderstood. Something was up with him, no matter how tender he'd been to me the last time we'd spent time together.

I finally made it to the rec. hall and wasn't surprised to see even more men in the room than before. The couches around the TV were almost full, so I went and stood nervously behind one. They were watching a boxing match and every few seconds they'd collectively roar or moan, depending on who was punching or getting punched. A head turned to look at me, and I saw that it was the guy from before. I couldn't remember his name.

He smiled and waved. "Hey, Bravo! You wanna watch the match? It just started."

I hugged myself nervously. "Ah… I was hoping to see the news, but… I'll come back later."

He jumped to his feet. Some of the other guys were watching. "Hey, hey, come on now! Sit down, grab a coke. We don't bite!"

I hesitated, and he took this as an assent. He came to me and took my hand, leading me back to the couch. I sat down slowly, squeezed as far to one side as I could get without touching the guy who'd been sitting on the other side. The friendly guy sat down next to me, not bothering to keep his distance, throwing his arm over the back of the couch.

He whispered into my ear, "We're rooting for Williams on this couch, so you probably should too."

I nodded, leaning away from him. The guy on the other side of me was grinning. "Who's your friend, Zeke?"

That was his name. "This is the mysterious Bravo. She came with the red one."

"It's Bravura." I said meekly.

"What are you doing in a place like this kid? It's so restricted we're not allowed to tell anyone where we are, even on our own soil! How'd you get clearance?"

"I know people."

"The Autobots." Zeke volunteered. "Did you see her laughing with that one at lunch?"

"Yeah, man…"

Apparently Williams landed a good hit, because the three guys on my couch leaped to their feet cheering. Zeke grabbed my hand to drag me up to celebrate, but when he pulled, something like fire, or ice, or a lightning bolt shot through my arm to my spine and I gasped, wrenching away from him and falling back into the couch. He turned to stare at me. Nobody else noticed. I choked on a breath. The feeling was excruciating, and it wasn't stopping.

"Hey, sorry, I didn't mean-"

I shook my head and lurched to my feet, cradling my arm. Before he could protest anymore I ran out of the rec. hall and down the hallway following the **MEDIC** arrow and as soon as I could focus long enough to make out the words.

I didn't run long, but it felt that way. Several men tried to stop me, but I danced out of their way and kept going. When I saw the keypad I fell against it. It beeped and the buttons flashed red. I gasped, cradling my arm, which was now alternating between moments of manageable pain and white-hot needles racing through my arm. I leaned over it, waiting for the pain to subside again before trying to remember the code.

It hit me, and I punched _9-8-7_, almost crying with relief when the door hissed open.

"Ratchet," I croaked. I couldn't find my voice. "Ratchet!" My voice barely rose, but he heard me, appearing from a room off to the side.

"Bravura? What's wrong?"

"It hurts. Guy pulled on it… Like if someone set ice on fire - and wrapped it - with a power line and stuck it IN MY ARM!" My voice rose as the pain intensified, reaching its crescendo and making my head swim.

Ratchet had me up off the floor and on the exam table before I realized what he was doing. His tools were on me, and within seconds I pitched myself onto my side, shrieking, "Stop! Stop it! _Please make it stop!" _I wouldn't have believed it before, but it was possible for the pain to get worse. It doubled or tripled, or intensified to the nth degree for all I cared. This was almost like being under Skywarp's machine all over again.

Ratchet withdrew in seconds, and the pain eased back to its former intensity, which was suddenly a blessing in comparison. "The metal in your arm is dividing. It's normal in sparklings and younglings, but you aren't compatible with this. Some sort of strain must have set it off. Is it still hurting?"

I nodded, sweat dripping into my eyes. I felt like I would throw up at any minute. My spine was beginning to tingle.

"Help me, Ratchet. Make it stop." I opened my eyes, and looked up at him, begging.

He stared at me helplessly. "I don't know how."

The pain began to taper off again. I took a moment to catch my breath, then formed the words of the treacherous idea I'd had. "Skywarp."

Ratchet began to glare, then his posture sagged and he nodded in understanding. "He's responsible for this. He might know how to fix it. Primus, this is going to be dangerous…"


	29. Guardian Angel

Thanks for all the reviews everyone :) This will be the first time in my OC-centric story that we'll get to see things from someone else's POV... I've enjoyed the change of pace, I hope you do too :)

* * *

Minutes took hours in my tortured state, but Optimus was there in the sickbay just moments after I suggested asking for Skywarp's help. I think he was being followed by some little men in uniform, but they disappeared. I wasn't in the mood to look at the time. Ratchet began explaining the situation to the taller mech.

"…and we need Skywarp's help. I don't know how this could have happened at all. I've never heard of a known case of live Cybertronian alloys actually thriving in an organic body like this. It will kill her, Optimus. The metal is already becoming invasive, wrapping around her nervous system. It's only a matter of time before it gets into the circulatory system and blocks the flow or breaks off and causes an embolism, which will kill her instantly."

"And you think Skywarp can stop this? I don't remember him being very bright." Optimus sounded skeptical.

"He managed to come up with the technology to start this. He's our best chance at saving this human's life. You know how attached Hotrod and Mirage are to this human," Ratchet was beginning to lower his voice.

"Yes. We have a responsibility to her. It's not her fault she's caught in this mess… We can't bring him here, Ratchet. It will expose the army and might even be seen as treason," Optimus said thoughtfully.

"I agree. He's able to warp, so all we need do is take her far enough away that we don't give away the base, and then contact him." Ratchet didn't sound very certain of this plan, and Optimus heard it too.

"Will she last that long?"

"I don't think we can avoid permanent damage if the growth continues at this rate," Ratchet murmured. I barely heard it over my labored breathing.

"We have to move now. Get her ready to move, I'll put together an escort and warn the humans." Optimus began to move for the door, but I saw the blur through my squinting eyes as Ratchet stopped him.

"You can't come, Optimus. The humans need your leadership. They trust you. They'll overreact when they see Skywarp's teleportation field on the radar."

"Considering the situation, I think it's best if I come. I'll leave Prowl and Mirage here," he began, but Ratchet interrupted him.

"No, we need Mirage's hologram. Someone has to sit with her while we move to the rendezvous."

It was at this point that I began to imagine I could feel the pain creeping up towards my neck and down my spine, so I closed my mind to the world around me and tried to stay strong. They would fix this.

After an eternity I was lifted up and carried. The pressure it put on my arm made me scream; it felt like broken glass was being squeezed around in my arm. Maybe barbed wire would be a more appropriate analogy, I thought dryly. Ratchet had said I had metal growing up my arm.

I heard someone call my name from a distance, or maybe I was just swimming in and out of consciousness, but I thought I heard Hotrod's voice speaking frantically. I was put on something soft and creaky, then lifted and set down again with a jolt. Another scream.

A familiar cologne filled my senses, and I knew Mirage was with me. I reached out my good hand blindly, and I felt him take it immediately. I became aware of his form leaning over me.

"I'm transmitting this to Hotrod, Bravura. He's acting like a child, but he needs to see you. We're moving out now, and soon you'll be all better, ok? We won't let you… we won't let you go. Ratchet's hologram is right here. We'll take care of you."

"Mirage, put this on her fingertip please," said a voice that sounded like Ratchet, minus the metallic resonance of his mech body.

Mirage continued to murmur over me, trying to distract me. I was beginning to shudder, but I couldn't tell if something was happening to me or if I was just losing a grip on my self-control. I felt a rolling nausea begin at my toes and start rising fast.

"I'm gonna throw up…" I whispered, pushing myself upright and intensifying the churning of my stomach. A pail appeared under my nose and I panted, knowing it was coming. I ended up vomiting quite a bit on that trip, to the point where I was simply heaving aching muscles and nothing more would come.

"She's spiking a fever, probably trying to combat the invasive-"

"Give her this shot-" "Is she awake-restart the machine would you?-over her nose and squeeze-"

Everything they said blurred into one loud noise and I fell into true unconsciousness.

* * *

Skywarp was screaming at a stadium full of schoolchildren when he got the transmission. At first he ignored it, thinking it was another pesky demand from the Constructicons, but as he began to deliver his "Tell the Autobots to return my property or face the consequences!" speech he realized his software was going berserk. He was receiving an Autobot transmission.

He cut off his speech immediately and began to listen in.

_-metal is spreading through her body. Your invention caused this, and we need you to fix it or Bravura will die._

Skywarp felt his functions all lock simultaneously, then got it together and transformed into his alt mode with a leap into the air, blasting into the sky and leaving the stunned human crowd behind.

_Where is she?_ Skywarp demanded. _What have you done?_

_We haven't harmed her. My medical officer discovered a deposit of Cybertronian metal in the arm you healed. It's behaving unexpectedly, and it will soon kill her unless you find a way to stop it. _It was Optimus Prime, that old blowhard.

_Coordinates!_

_Not until you agree to a truce for the time being of this crisis. If you try to take her, we will take aggressive action._

Skywarp's engines roared into the open sky. He didn't know what to do. What if this was all a trap, using his beloved Bravura as bait? Primus, he had no choice. He couldn't leave her. She needed him. She would always need him. If she was dying, he had to save her. No matter what, no matter that it would break his pride and rob him of any of the respect he may have had, to come crawling to the Autobots like this. She was more important than that.

_Agreed. I will not attack. I will not attempt to take her. Coordinates._

He would have cried with relief, if he'd been enough of a pansy, when the numbers began flowing in through the tenuous contact he had with Prime. He didn't waste any time, powering up his teleportation drive and preparing for the exhilarating jolt of warping, then let the drive go with a kick and disappeared into blackness-

-And out over a wide hilly expanse of scrub. Air condensed around him and then whooshed away in a puff of clouds, which faded in seconds. His scanners swept across the field, and he realized several Autobots were parked directly below him. He cut his engines and broke into a dive, barely breaking the fall enough for his struts and supports to handle it when he transformed and landed on his two bird-like legs.

Of the five Autobots present, three were aiming weapons at him. Skywarp slowly raised his hands, empty of weapons.

"A truce, remember? I'm here to help you, dirt kissers!" Son of a cessna, had he walked into a trap after all?

But then a human rolled a small emergency cart out of the medic, who was still in vehicle mode. As the cart was pushed towards him he realized Bravura was curled up on it, sweat glinting off of her delicate skin covering. The human pushing the stretcher backed away from the stretcher to stand next the one called Mirage, then flickered out. A hologram.

Ratchet transformed, then crouched on one side of the stretcher, gesturing for him to come closer. He did, hesitating first, his battle systems straining to overpower his logic circuits. He controlled himself, and slowly kneeled before his suffering human. She was sleeping or unconscious.

"Do you have any internal scanners?" Ratchet asked him.

"Nothing fancy, enough to make field repairs." Skywarp couldn't take his eyes off the still form on the stretcher.

"It should be enough. Look at her arm as quickly as you can… Energy fields accelerate the process."

Skywarp was loath to do anything that might hurt her, but he didn't have much choice. He activated the shabby attachments in his hand and focused on Bravura.

"Oh slag…"

They were right. Metal had grown into the system of her arm like a vine. The area around the break was lumpy and misshapen, growing infinitesimally as he watched. It was beginning to coat the vertebrae of her spine, starting between her shoulder blades, and the realization struck him that this was the fate of the tracking chip he'd had implanted.

Suddenly her body arched and she let out a soul-shredding screech. He watched in terror as the metal in her arm seemed to boil, the threads along her nervous systems bulging and thinning as they crept along on their destructive path. To his dismay and disgust he watched a tiny tendril stab through her skin into the open air, search blinding, then curl along the curve of her arm, putting down roots as it went.

His focus was ripped apart as Ratchet knocked his arm away from the screaming human. "You're feeding it!" the medic hissed.

Even as he watched with his regular optics he could see her arm twitching and jittering as the metal continued to grow, though the rootlet on her arm seemed to have stopped spreading.

"Primus… this is bad."

"What can we do?" Ratchet snarled. "You started this, you have to finish this before it kills her! She's already lost her arm, but we can't just cut it off because it's already in her spine! What do we do?!"

Skywarp's logic center was fried. He searched and postulated, rejected and tested ideas. His servos were working overtime keeping things straight, but nothing came clear, nothing that would save her.

"I…"

"You need to focus, Skywarp," Prime said from the sidelines. "Except for Perceptor, who may or may not even be on the planet, you're the best chance she has."

Skywarp looked up at Prime mournfully, shame crushing the arrogant show he normally would have put on. "I don't know how. The fact that I got that machine to work at all was a miracle, and I based it off of an experiment Starscream did on some organic molecules off an asteroid, back before the worst of the war. It was all luck."

Skywarp was shocked when the red one, Hotrod, grabbed him by the chest plate and bodily dragged him away from Bravura. Amazing that he had that kind of strength… Skywarp suddenly lost track of his optical sensors when the small Autobot slammed a fist into his face. His optics reconnected quickly and he saw Hotrod going in for another punch, but the weapons specialist, Ironhide, grabbed his fist.

"Come on, kid. We have a truce, remember? I wanna slag him too but this time you've

gotta cool your afterburners."

Hotrod shrugged him off, murder still in his eyes. "You're lucky," he snarled to the Seeker, then turned away, arms crossed.

"You said…" Skywarp was having a hard time making his vocal processors function. "You said that there was another mech who might be able to help."

"We don't know," said Prime. "He hasn't tried to contact us, but we believe he's one of the mechs who crashed into the countries called Russia or Egypt."

"Why would he not contact you?" Skywarp asked, but he knew the answer, and it gave him hope.

"Probably to avoid the attention of the Decepticons on the planet."

"And you haven't contacted him for the same reason?"

Optimus nodded, seeming to begin to catch on.

"What if you didn't have to worry about an attack? What if I promised you I could get him here safely?" Skywarp's spark was straining, optimism battling with dread.

Prime watched him for a long moment, and then looked at the small human moaning softly on the stretcher. He sighed heavily, air rushing out of his vents, then looked back at Skywarp and nodded.

"Order your men to stand down. We'll try to make contact with the newest arrivals. If they're Decepticons can I trust you to take control of the situation?"

Skywarp laughed harshly, then sobered. "Normally I would say no, you can't trust me, but this time… Yes. I'll keep things in hand."

Skywarp opened up his communications system and found Barricade and Frenzy, Thundercracker, and the Constructicons all within a few miles of the base in the mountains. He began his transmission through Thundercracker, since it was easier to connect with his Seeker brother.

_Thundercracker, we have a situation. A truce with the Autobots is under effect until further notice. They're going to be sounding out the new arrivals on the other continents, and I swear to Cybertron that if you, or anyone, interferes with that, I'll take him apart and feed him to the sun. Understood?_

_Not really… but I won't bother anybody._

_Good, Relay the message to the others._

_Got it._

Skywarp broke the contact and nodded to Prime. Prime stepped away from the loosely gathered group and stared off into the distance. At first Skywarp thought he was wasting time, but then he heard the message loud and clear on the universal emergency frequency.

_This is Optimus Prime. My comrades and I know that someone crash-landed on this planet at least three solar cycles ago. A temporary truce has been called. If you can hear me, please respond, Autobot and Decepticon alike. If you are unable to send a transmission, attempt to notify us of your position via the world wide web. _

He stopped transmitting, and everybot was silent. The only things audible above the wind were the pitiful sounds of Skywarp's dying human.

Skywarp was slumping with defeat when over a minute passed. Something was wrong, either they were too damaged to respond, or too defensive. He was about to declare his hopelessness when the emergency frequency jumped to life.

_This is the Autobot Warpath. Good to hear you, Prime._

Skywarp's spark shivered in his chassis. It wasn't Perceptor. They only had one chance left. Optimus addressed Warpath and began giving him directions to an American military base, presumably while forwarding the information to the military itself. Skywarp sank to the ground, crouching over Bravura once again.

"Poor, poor Bravura… My little skillful one, I'm so sorry for everything."

_Th- -tobot Percep-, bliz-d, too –ld. F- -zing tempe-_

Skywarp jerked gaze to Optimus, who looked around at the same group. "Who else thinks they heard him say Perceptor?"

"Not just that, coulda sworn he said 'blizzard', Optimus," commented Ironhide, huge arms folded across his chest.

"So he's trapped out there," Hotrod said with certainty.

"It would seem that's the case. Skywarp," Optimus turned to the Seeker. "How much can weight are you able to carry?"

"More than half my weight, in the air. How big is this mech?"

Optimus nodded to himself. "Not large. This should work, but it might be tough. You'll have to be quick, or you'll freeze too."

_Perceptor, we need your position. _Optimus sent out.

The numbers flooded the transmission, passing much more easily than voice communication. As soon as Skywarp had it, he was on his feet and bounding into more open spaces. "Warn him who's coming to get him!" he growled, then leapt into the sky and transformed. As soon as he felt he was high enough, he powered up his jump drive and warped out of there as fast as he could.


	30. Split

This is where you guys either love me or you hate me... The entire chapter is from other characters POV, not Bravuras, so hopefully you like that kind of thing. As for the rest... you'll see :)

* * *

Hotrod was beside himself. He was angry, he was afraid, and there was nothing he could do about it. They'd moved Bravura back into Ratchet's vehicle mode to protect her from the elements. She seemed quieter when she was out of the sun again, only whimpering occasionally.

"Is there nothing we can do for the pain, Ratchet? Like the pain pills?" Hotrod was crouched next to the van, trying to keep himself from peeking in on her every few seconds.

"I wish I could say yes, but I'm not sure if injecting something into her system won't cause an even worse reaction. She's suffering now, but if we introduce anything into her unstable system we run the risk of killing her outright.

Hotrod wanted to hit something. He wanted to blast that glitch Skywarp, and grind his head into shavings. He wanted to switch to vehicle mode and take off down the highway going as fast as he could. He didn't want to run, but he wanted to blow off steam. The only problem was that they had no idea when Skywarp would get back and he didn't want to miss a moment of what they'd do to save Bravura.

Hotrod had estimated five minutes at the very most, but as the eighth minute began to tick past, he was getting nervous. What if Skywarp had betrayed their trust and just killed Perceptor outright? Sure, he'd be signing Bravura's death certificate, but he was a Decepticon. They lived for that kind of thing.

Ratchet had said they couldn't save her arm. He knew this would devastate his little human friend as there was no way to attach a new one. Why did these people have to be trapped in such fragile little bodies? They didn't seem to mind, but that's all they'd ever known. Hotrod didn't yearn to fly, but if you stripped the wings off of a Seeker, the flier would die before living that way forever.

He thought of the shiny silver metal, reminiscent of Frenzy's bright chrome color, as it had burst out of her skin and grown along the outside of her. He wasn't a scientist, but Ratchet kept saying it was encasing her nervous system.

"Why is the metal focusing on her nervous system, Ratchet?"

"The most likely reason is that the human body is full of electrical impulses, tiny but sufficient for their motor function and thought processes. The nervous system delivers these impulses throughout the body. The metal is probably looking for an energy source, and the electrical impulses her brain delivers are the most readily available."

"Is it possible this won't kill her? That maybe… her body will accept it?"

Ratchet's vents heaved deeply. "Have you ever looked up the human brain, Hotrod?"

"No… one second." Hotrod accessed the Internet, and in moments he understood. Those thrashing metal vines would shred her soft brain and leave nothing but a gray mess. Even if her body somehow survived this, she'd be an empty shell. A human shaped block of lifeless metal.

Hotrod slumped, and Ratchet took this as understanding. "You see. If we can't keep this metal from growing into her brain, or her heart, or any major organ for that matter, she'll end."

Hotrod shuddered. He'd been denying how serious this whole thing was, but it was hitting home now. He could lose her. He'd wanted to spend the rest of her life together. He'd wanted to keep her safe and share all the fun of being alive and happy in a safe world. He would probably never get the chance, now.

Hotrod stood up and walked slowly to Mirage, who was watching morosely. He put his hand on the bigger mech's shoulder and sent a private message. _Can I borrow your hologram?_

Mirage looked down at him, puzzled. _What do you need it for?_

Hotrod dropped his gaze, fighting another shudder. _I want to say goodbye… Just in case. In case she-_

_She _won't_ die Hotrod. They'll fix her. Have a little faith._

_Faith in what? Her fragile little body? Skywarp? Perceptor hasn't even been here three days, how do we know he'll be able to solve this problem in time to save her? If she dies- If she dies I just want to know I said goodbye!_

To Hotrod surprise Mirage reached up and put his hands on the younger mech's shoulders. _I'll lend you the hologram. But you have to believe in her, and in Perceptor. Don't give up. We're all together in this._

Hotrod nodded numbly, and took the tiny parts that made up Mirage's best hologram. He returned to the ambulance and knelt down outside it, interfacing briefly with the hologram and downloading the image Bravura would recognize. Then he set it on the ground and activated it.

His consciousness split, and he could feel the sun beating down from two different angles. This solid hologram felt different from anything he'd ever experienced, and it took him a moment to adjust. As soon as he had his bearings, he climbed into Ratchet's back end and sat on the stretcher Bravura was curled up on. The metal on the outside of her arm had gained several inches already, reaching almost to her elbow and branching tiny tributaries, like a river drawn on a map. It glinted, and he bit back his rage.

He stroked her hair, something he'd always been afraid to do in his larger form. He didn't know if she was considered attractive by human standards, but he knew her strength and her spirit. Her life was beautiful, and she was brave. She was a fighter. He loved her. He'd had crushes on femmes, back before the war, but he'd been too young to get involved with anybot. He'd never really loved anyone quite like this before.

He leaned over her and kissed her cheek, brushing the wet hair from her face. Her eyes flickered open, and she looked up at him. The normally bright and lively orbs were dull and flat. "Hotrod," she mumbled.

"I'm here, Bravura."

"Dying, aren't I?"

He was shocked when his emotions produced something like a physical response in his hologram. His eyes began to fill with fluid, and it was hard to squeak out a sound.

"Yes, if we can't stop the spread you'll die." He leaned down again, pressing his forehead to hers. A shuddering gasp took him over, and he heard the doors of Ratchet's back end shut, giving them privacy. His mech body outside shivered too, but of course, he couldn't cry.

"I'm scared, Hotrod." Her eyes were tightening, and he could tell the pain was getting worse.

"I'm scared too. We're all scared for you," he choked, shaking again. "But.., d-don't worry, ok? We'll save you. Do you remember the promise I made to you, the day we rescued you from Barricade?"

She nodded weakly, but said nothing, so Hotrod said it for her. "I said we'd never leave you. I promised that you would never be alone, ever again, and I meant it. I love you, Bravura."

She smiled despite the pain she must have been wracked with, and reached up her unaffected hand to touch his face. He covered her hand with his, his tears flowing freely between their fingers. "I love you too, Hotrod."

He broke inside. He didn't know how, but he felt it in his hologram and in his spark. He covered her with his body, wracked with sobs he couldn't contain. It wasn't until her body arched against his and her fingertips pressed sharply into his cheek that he realized something was wrong. He leaned back, murmuring her name, when he saw it. His arm was touching hers, and where he brushed the metal lacing her skin, blue sparks where flying. It wasn't painful, it was actually a very pleasant feeling, but…

"Hotrod, _what are you doing?!"_ Ratchet roared.

He flung his hologram away from her, fearing he'd hurt her. "Nothing, nothing! I don't know!"

"Pull her out, something's changed!"

Hotrod did as he was told, dragging the silent, wide-eyed human out the ambulance and using his mech body to ease her to the ground. Ratchet transformed and was leaning over her when there was a crackle and **boom** from overhead. Hotrod sent his hologram running back to Mirage and deactivated it. He looked up for Skywarp.

A mech was hanging awkwardly from the back of the Raptor. Hotrod could see from here that they were both covered in ice and very cold, Skywarp came at the ground at a sharp angle, and Hotrod felt his spark jump. They were going too fast, too fast!

"Optimus!" he screamed, running before he even thought about it, Ironhide and Optimus were with him, he knew, and together they managed to catch the out of control jet before he crashed. They were all knocked on their afts, and Hotrod felt a few tension wires snap, but nothing serious.

Perceptor had been flung away, but he was in one piece. He was covered in ice, but the heat of the day was already melting him enough to let him attempt to stand. Skywarp was recovering faster, and Ironhide shoved him off, having taken the brunt of the impact. The Seeker transformed and looked around in embarrassment. "My guidance system was iced over," he said, rubbing a scuffed wingtip.

Ratchet rushed to Perceptor and checked him over, helping him to stand. While the two began murmuring to each other, Hotrod looked back to the stretcher. Mirage was standing watch over her, but the red mech rushed back anxiously anyway. Mirage was staring down in awe.

"What'd you do, Hotrod?"

Hotrod started to protest, but he saw it too, looking at her. Blue lightning was dancing along the metal on her arm, which was growing faster than ever, but her face was rapturous. Despite her apparent relief, he was horrified to see metal spikes waving insistently from her chest. He reached down to touch her, and that's when the world ended.

* * *

Skywarp had been watching Perceptor anxiously, hoping the scientist would recover fast enough to save his human, when he heard a mech scream. He whirled, a laser cannon coming to life instinctively, but he saw it was the Autobot Hotrod. He was behind the red mech and couldn't see what was happening to Bravura, so he feared the worst. Bravura was dead. Everyone rushed the Vanquish mech, and the first thing Skywarp saw was the look of horror on Mirage's face. Then he saw why.

Tiny barbs of the invasive metal were waving from points all over her body, twisting in the air and then settling against her skin, shredding her thin human clothes in the process. But the worst of it was the fact that the knock-off Autobot had her in her arms and was pressing her tiny body to his open chest. He was holding her to his spark.

Skywarp felt his logic systems short as his fury exploded. He roared and leapt for the mech, but was grabbed by the legs and swung in the opposite direction. He flew through the air and landed thirty or forty yards away, and the fighter mechs were lining up between him and his human.

* * *

Hotrod had no idea what was going on. All he knew was that if he didn't do this, Bravura would die. He was creating something, or bonding with it, or both, or neither. He couldn't tell, but it felt right, and instinctively he allowed the tiny whipcords of metal to interface with his memory core. It needed to know things, to know how to _be_. It felt like standing in a shower of fine sand… And then it was done. He became aware of what he was doing and was shocked to find her tiny body in his hands. She was covered in writhing metal, and he could feel her spark pulsing against his.

Her _spark?_

He didn't have time to think. She was pulled away from him, and he shut his chassis self-consciously. He backed away, fear taking hold. What had he done…? He heard a bass roar and saw that Optimus and Ironhide had Skywarp pinned, and Mirage had his huge gun pointed right in the Seeker's face. Good.

Perceptor and Ratchet were crouched over Bravura, connected to each other by hardwire to transfer data as efficiently as possible. Perceptor finally nodded to Ratchet, and they both waved the red mech over.

Hotrod quickly came back to them and crouched across from the two professionals.

"Do you know what you did, Hotrod?"

The Vanquish shook his head, bewildered.

"Somehow, you split your spark and gave some of it to her. You're lucky she's small, and that you already had some kind of bond, or it would've killed you both," Perceptor said, sounding absolutely thrilled.

Hotrod nodded dumbly, the meaning not sinking in fully.

"Do you realize that you've saved her body Hotrod? Maybe even her mind? Look at the metal…"

And Hotrod looked. The whipping cords had calmed, were no longer aimless and sharp, but smooth and deliberate. It had changed in personality somehow, but he couldn't figure out how it could have happened. And then he realized, it had accessed his memory. It had needed a blue print to grow by, and now it had one.

"What about her brain, Ratchet? Her memories?"

Perceptor leaned over and tapped his chest plate. "You can do that too, young fellow. Her brain's nothing but a map of electrical functions. If we can get that uploaded onto your hard drive, you can download it back to her when her body is formed.'

Hotrod's spark was sputtering. "Why me? Why not Ratchet?"

"For one, you're the youngest with the most available memory. Second, your spark is _her_ spark! You're already like one bot, you might as well be the one to do this thing!"

Hotrod stared down at her quiet body.

"We don't have long, Hotrod. In a few minutes her brain will lose its blood supply and she'll die."

Hotrod snapped his crackling optics back to Ratchet. "How do I save her?"

"Ah…" Perceptor began. "You see, we're not so sure about that part. If you do this thing, you could be entirely successful… Or you could destroy her memory completely."

Hotrod's hand balled into fists. "We can't take that chance!"

"No, Hotrod, it's her only chance."

Hotrod stared down at her, remembering the feel of his human body as he sobbed. He nodded slowly without looking up. "Show me how."

* * *

That's right, I'm turning her into a robot. Sorry if you're disappointed, but this has always been a secret goal of mine no matter how cliche or tired the idea is. It's done, like it or not :)


	31. Prison Talk

The support from you guys just makes me wanna sing : )

I forgot to do this earlier, pretty much all my TF curse words starting with Skywarp's POV and his oaths like 'son of a cessna' came from htt ermart.n et/writi ngs/tfglo ss/tfinsult .html. Except with no spaces.

Thanks again to whitedino for pointing out the nature of the human brain and suggesting creating a new spark off one of B's fan boys : )

* * *

It had been four days since that terrifying evening in the hills. Hotrod was still trying to make sense of Bravura's memories… The whole pattern of her mind was safely protected and backed up, but he had to organize it all into electronic memory in order for her blank hard drive to accept it back and be able to use it. The problem with her brain was that the amnesia created a lot of broken connections, and he could easily repair them… But he didn't know if she wanted to know about her old life.

From what he was beginning to understand, she'd embraced living in this strange life completely. She was afraid of returning to humanity, and she was hardly curious about her past; the only past she'd been exposed to so far had been terrifying.

Which led to another dilemma. He wanted to purge the memories of her rape, but once again he didn't know if that would upset her, knowing he had taken the liberty of picking and choosing what she would know.

He refused to erase her memories of Skywarp. He understood that relationship better now, and was even a little critical of the part of her that looked to Skywarp as a sort of mad savior. She was grateful to the Decepticon, but she was afraid of what he was. He couldn't understand why she would go to the Seeker, no matter how scared she'd been that night in their base. It made sense to her, but…

Honestly, he was embarrassed to have to comb through her mind like this. It was necessary to preserving who she was, but everyone needed a few secrets. He'd painstakingly encoded all of the memories she had natural access to, and some of the most pleasant ones from her childhood, but he was unsure now.

He got up from his berth and stepped out of his room into the hall. Watching for humans on the floor, he headed for Ratchet's sickbay.

He went in quietly. Dr. Peyton saw him and nodded him on, not bothering to greet him. She knew why he was here. They kept Bravura in the back for now, the room where they kept the autoclave and cleaning supplies.

The main reason was the odor. When her heart had finally given up, crushed by the growing metal, her human body had begun to rot. Ratchet came in periodically and cleaned what he could, but there were bits left in the crevices… They'd discussed dipping her in a very low-grade acid, the kind used to buff the shine into mechs who'd been in space too long. It would leave her frame but eat the organic parts in a matter of hours.

Hotrod switched off his olfactory sensors and sat on the floor next to the still silver body. It had grown a bit, maybe a little over six feet tall at best. She looked skinny, resembling Frenzy's ascetic frame on a larger scale. She was finally filling out, but her chest still left her spark partially exposed. He watched its glow for a long time. It comforted him, knowing that her mind was safe with him and that her body and spark were safe here.

At first he'd thought he'd made her into a spark twin, but upon his first visit, he'd discovered that while they had a clear and natural bond, it was not that of siblings. When he got too close her spark responded… enthusiastically. Ratchet and Perceptor agreed that this had something to do with her human mind coexisting with the spark briefly, impressing instincts into it.

He shuddered, thinking of Ratchet and Perceptor. The process of obtaining her memory had been disgusting. They'd gone in through the base of her skull, since it controlled body functions she wouldn't need anymore. Perceptor had used his own complicated equipment to simultaneously stimulate her brain and record its billions of reactions, sending it straight into Hotrod's memory core.

He tried not to think about that if he could help it.

He noticed she'd grown a few distinguishing features, little patterns rising up from her head, shoulders, and hips in ways that accented her delicate appearance. He'd seen it often on the youngling femmes, before they started putting on manufactured armor or growing it themselves deliberately. He didn't know if this meant Bravura's body would have the maturity of a youngling, or if it was just the metal growing in accelerated but natural steps.

Her optics were coming in nicely now, and the angle they were taking would give a her a permanently trusting expression. From what her last memories had told him, this reflected those moments she been suspended in rapture as her mind was flooded with the experience of having a spark bond, something her human body hadn't been capable of comprehending. She'd been confused, but she'd felt his spark touching hers, and it had given her a feeling of safety. That was the way she'd died.

Hotrod shook his head. She wasn't dead. She was with him now, and soon she'd have her own body back. Ratchet was guessing five to six cycles, Perceptor said it could be as long as two human weeks. They wanted to be completely sure that her body was developed enough to survive the sudden stress of emotions and movement Bravura would surely put it under. Her body was already pumping energon just fine, and Ratchet would give her a little more every few hours to feed the process; her spark couldn't power all that growth without help.

They'd been relieved that her cognitive processes were silent. They'd had a brief scare, fearing that her metal body, with it own live-giving spark, would start to come alive, separately from Bravura's memories. If that had happened, they would've had to choose between stamping out the new mind or giving up Bravura's shot at continuing as a conscious being. If it had happened, Hotrod would've carried her in his memory core forever, but it was looking like that wouldn't be necessary.

He'd been watching her body change, like watching grass grow. It was something he felt he could do forever, memorizing her lines as she lengthened and fill out, gleaming in the limited light. He was counting the bumply ridges growing together into patterns on her shoulder when Ratchet stepped in on them.

Ratchet crouched down to the floor next to Hotrod. "She's developing beautifully. We're going to give her that acid bath in a day or two, when we're sure the more delicate circuitry is sheathed." Ratchet sat quietly for a moment, and then continued uncomfortably, "Skywarp's been asking to see her, you know. He's remarkably calm, considering he's been cooped up in the brig for days, but that's all he asks the guards when he can get them to listen."

"What did Optimus say?" Hotrod asked quietly. It was hard to be jealous of Skywarp's obsession anymore. Hotrod knew that as soon as Bravura woke up in her new body, she'd choose him. They had some kind of bond already, and together they'd repel that lump's advances.

"He's stalling, more or less. He's under a lot of pressure, what with Colonel Dicer demanding to see his goddaughter and the desire of the army to experiment on the captive."

"Do you think if they knew about her," Hotrod began, motioning to Bravura, "they would want her for experiments too?"

"Optimus is prepared to defend her as an Autobot or a neutral under our protection."

"What about… her mark?" Hotrod looked at Ratchet anxiously. "Can't we just sand it off?"

Ratchet reached down and examined the raised bumps on her left wrist guard. There, in the same proportion as it had been on her human body, was the Decepticon insignia. "I think," he said wearily, "that this will just grow back if we strip it now. She needs to be awake and conscious of her body in order to keep it from starting from scratch. Don't worry, Hotrod, she's not just a human we feel obligated to defend anymore. She's one of us now, maybe even your spark twin… Or mate. She won't be fodder for their pointless experiments."

Hotrod nodded, wishing he could touch her like Ratchet was. He'd been asked not to, when Ratchet saw her spark leaping in response to him. It created 'undue stress' for the growing femme body…

Well, not exactly a femme body. Ratchet had made it clear that hers was not a distinctly female spark. It was formed from his very male spark, of course, but Bravura identified with _female_ in her psyche. So the spark was sort of androgynous. Nobody could tell what she was, since every test Ratchet had tried had been inconclusive… Her body was definitely female in shape, but that spark…

Not that it mattered. She would always be Bravura, even if her spark wasn't what he would've once considered ideal. He was privy to every last one of her thoughts, even the darkest and most primal ones, and he knew she was good. And she loved him…

He felt better, having spent some time with her body. He felt more whole that way, replaying some of her thoughts while watching her spark slowly disappear behind her chest plates. She was going to be beautiful when she finally woke up.

But Hotrod was curious about Skywarp's need for her. She'd been completely confused by her closer relationships, with both himself and the Seeker. So, Hotrod was confused, too. If they were going to be bonded together, he felt that he should step up and be a mech. After whispering a goodbye to her, he left he in Ratchet's capable hands and went to see the Seeker.

The brig was in a second, much more heavily secured level below that main base. Upper level meetings, confidential missions and information were issued and stored there. A substantial part of the level was made up of the brig. There were a few human sized cells, but most of the space was made to contain warrior class Decepticons. Hotrod, by virtue of being an Autobot, had free access.

Skywarp was sitting on the narrow recharge bench. Ratchet had gone in and manually disconnected the Seeker's transformation protocols, weapons, and warp drive after they'd knocked the mech unconscious. They'd wanted to let him go, but he'd been deaf to their reasoning and Ratchet had finally gotten frustrated and forced a sedative into him. Now he was moping in their brig, his logic circuits back online.

The bigger mech stared at Hotrod with such hopelessness that the Vanquish almost felt a pang of sympathy. "Where is she?" The dark mech barely raised his voice to pose the question.

"Sickbay. She's doing well, should be around a week before she wakes up."

"You realize you can never be her mate now?" He didn't say it with rancor, only as if he knew he was right.

"You're wrong." Hotrod tried to sound assertive. "She and I already share a special bond. You'll see."

"It's a special bond alright. Her spark split off of yours, if I understand right. It's like you're twins now. She'll never have you, and when she wakes up you'll both realize you can't love her like I can."

"Love her?" Hotrod scoffed. "You don't love her, you want her to be your private ego boost. Keeping her was never about doing it for her good, it was all for you. That's not love, that's just ownership."

"_You're _wrong_,_ dust kicker. You think because I'm on the wrong side of the war, I can't have feelings? I risked my life to save an _Autobot_ for her sake! I'd do it again, and I'll do whatever it takes to show her you're the last mech she could ever mate with."

Hotrod stared at the Raptor, fists clenched. The slagger sounded so certain of himself! He leaned close to the glowing bars of the cell, his voice low. "Do you remember when she came to you, that night you stole her? She was pretending you were _me._"

Skywarp leapt to his feet with a metallic screech. He slammed against the bars, only to be thrown back with a bright splash of residual energy. "I'll kill you! I tear out your hydraulics and make you watch me press sparks with her! I'll take your-"

Hotrod didn't bother to listen. He hit the emergency cool-down switch next to the cell and watched as the icy blast downed the Seeker in seconds. He released the switch when the Seeker quit most of his twitching, then turned and headed back up to the main level.


	32. Voice of Reason

Bravura's back in this chap :) Thanks for the reviews, you lovely lovely reviewers, you :)

* * *

It had been nearly three weeks since Bravura the human had ended, and Hotrod was more anxious than ever. Neither Perceptor nor Ratchet had predicted that her chest would refuse to close up and protect her delicate spark. She'd grown in leaps and bounds, tapering off at about nine feet from tip to tip, but the steady glow of her spark shining from her chest had worried them for weeks. Overnight, finally, her chest had grown together, shutting her spark safely away from the world.

He'd finally made his decision about her memories. The memories she had made after the amnesia were the primary set, and that was the one her consciousness would have automatic access to. The rest of her past was going into another file that he would tuck away with a multitude of other pieces of information. He would tell her about it, when she'd accepted her new body, and she'd have the choice of looking at them or not.

"What's the verdict, Ratch?"

"If you ask me, I say she's ready. Perceptor still thinks we should wait, but seeing as I'm the CMO and he's just the scientist!" Ratchet raised his voice just enough to be sure that Perceptor heard from his adopted worktable in the sick bay, "I'd say you can import her mind and memories whenever you're ready. Optimus is going to forego watching her wake up, since I feel that fewer mechs in the room will be less intimidating."

Hotrod nodded absently, leaning back on the exam table in Ratchet's sickbay. He could bring her back today -a thrill shot through his spark at the thought- and they could start their new life together.

"Now, Ratchet. Can I bring her back now?"

Ratchet eyed the reckless younger mech. "Are you sure you're ready? You know you'll be her primary caretaker. She's mentally an adult, but the control she'll have over her body could be as bad as a sparkling's and her size will make her twice as dangerous. You've been carrying her memories for cycles; you're most qualified to adjust her to this. Can you support her emotionally when she finds out she's no longer a member of her own species?"

Hotrod nodded very seriously. As far he was concerned she was his spark mate, though every other mech on the base seemed to have doubts. Skywarp was the only one who'd denied it outright, but he was a jealous fragger. She'd never told the Seeker she loved him.

"I can do it, Ratchet. I know you're worried I want to wake her for selfish reasons, but there's no point in dragging this out any longer. You already convinced Dicer she died for real this time, and none of the other humans know her enough to put it together. We're all just stalling now because we know it'll be tough. She's missing out on living every second we waste!"

Ratchet put up with Hotrod's righteous delivery up to that point, then put up his hands as if to fend the Vanquish off. "Fine, fine! Wait here, I'll bring her out. Clear off that exam table, would you?" And then the medic had disappeared into the back room.

Hotrod locked up for a half a moment, then quickly grabbed up the scattered tools on the bench and shoved them into what had been a meticulously organized cabinet up until then.

The minute it took Ratchet to gather her up was plenty of time for Hotrod to be struck by an incredibly uncommon case of insecurity. He knew Bravura and Camilla Phillips intimately; rather, he knew their memories intimately. He still didn't know what she'd do when she woke up. She'd never woken up to a new existence so literally before.

And then Ratchet was carrying her gleaming body through the door and out into the sickbay. He couldn't take his eyes away, despite the disturbing way her head was hanging back without support. Her youngling patterns had grown into a full set of light armor, the kind civilians usually wore… Back when Cybertron had any civilians. She'd filled out, but she was still on the light side. The plate armor helped, but she only looked like a smoothed out Frenzy on a grander scale. Then again, Hotrod was used to the bulked out appearance an alt mode gave a bot, and she didn't have one.

The resemblance to Frenzy had sparked a few interesting conversations between Ratchet and Perceptor. Frenzy had been a huge mech, back in his sane days, before the madness inflicted by the enemy had given him a complete disregard for his own health. They wondered if she'd someday grow into something like a female Frenzy, bigger than Ironhide, or if she'd simply reach average femme height and stop there.

Perceptor had pointed out a small possible problem involving her apparent relation to Frenzy. She had essentially the same metallic makeup as the little Decepticon. Was his madness inherent in his hardware, or a product of his warring servos?

Ratchet lowered the femme to the bench with great care, the metals clinking together quietly. He reached over her chest and released the locking mechanism, exposing her spark to open air once again. Just below her spark case was her central interface, where he'd have access to her memory core.

As the Vanquish stepped closer, Ratchet stepped away, taking up a post near Perceptor, who was watching intently. Hotrod leaned over Bravura's still body, taking courage. It wasn't something he was used to doing. He reached down and touched her face, tracing the lines. The pulsing of her spark drew his attention, and he saw that it was practically leaping in its case. He chuckled, the enthusiasm settling his nerves. He withdrew the connecter from his wrist and leaned in, sliding it into her port. He located her memory core, and then let the rush of memory flow away from him and back into its rightful owner.

* * *

Waking up had never been so easy before. It seemed that I went from the best sleep of my life to complete awareness in seconds, eyes wide open. I was immediately drawn to the blue glow above me and saw that it was from Hotrod. I tried to smile, but my face felt too stiff to really grin the way I wanted to. As I watched him, he seemed to be leaning closer, until I was sure he'd start to squash me, but it never happened. My vision continued to focus in on his blue eyes and I began to panic. The separate parts of his optics were becoming clear to me, the minute detail of the metal around them suddenly huge in my vision. It was like watching a camera zoom in.

I gasped and covered my eyes in shock. It had only taken seconds to literally fall into his gaze. I heard a clank as my hand lightly slapped my cheeks and eyebrows.

"Hotrod?" I asked tentatively.

"Yes," he said, as if he were nervous.

"I don't feel right." It was true, I felt different… Alive, vital, bursting with energy… But I was beginning to feel things happening I didn't understand. It was like twitching my fingertips, feeling these parts of my body. As I twitched one of my mental fingertips I suddenly received a flood of information, numbers and random words and images and I whimpered, twitching the finger again to make it go away

The whimper came out sounding strange. Metallic.

That was when I pulled my hands away from my eyes and really looked. My fingers gleamed in the light, and I realized I didn't just _feel_ strange. Something strange was happening to me. I flexed my hands and saw them curl responsively. They were shining like metal. I looked down at myself and started screaming, my fear so strong that I almost immediately forgot _why_ I was screaming.

I was cut off when a pair of soft arms encircled me and lifted me slightly, holding me up to their chest. I pushed hard, but ineffectively, trying to get away. My heart felt like it would explode, as if it were pushing out past my chest… and then I felt something that shut out my fear and my thoughts. Everything fizzled away in the feeling - and then it was gone. Something pressed my chest shut, a feeling I never thought I would've been alive to experience, and then I was laying flat again. I had the strangest idea that I should feel violated, and it was quickly confirmed.

"What the hell are you doing?!" A sharp metal crack, scuffling. I realized my eyes were closed, and I opened them. I immediately caught the error in my thinking; they weren't opening. They were turning on.

Hotrod's voice responded. "She panicked, didn't you see her spark? It was the easiest-"

"The easy way isn't the right way this time, dim-spark! She's vulnerable, she's scared, and you go trying to… What were you thinking?!" Another resounding clang, and I realized that the other voice was Ratchet as my eyes automatically focused on the two forms, the large yellow one between me and Hotrod, who was peeking around to look at me.

I slowly sat up, testing my body. I had metal hands. My eyes didn't work right. I was psychic, or insane, seeing images in my head. I froze halfway up as my body screeched against the table and both the mechs turned to look at me. Ratchet turned back on Hotrod immediately, pointing to the door.

"Out. I should never have trusted you with this. You're too young, still can't control yourself."

"Ratchet, no, you can't be ser-"

"I'm dead serious soldier, now get out before you discover why they call me The Hatchet. OUT!"

Hotrod backed away from the bigger mech slowly, eyes on me the whole time. Then he turned and left, slumping in defeat.

Ratchet turned back to me, sizing me up. "You don't understand, do you?"

I shook my head, sat up completely and let my legs hang off the edge of the table. I looked down and remembered why I panicked. I didn't have metal hands, I had metal everything.

"Look at me, Bravura," Ratchet directed. I slowly looked by up, my fear a cold spike through my chest. "What's the last thing you remember?" He turned away, grabbing a stool that would've dwarfed even the tallest human and sitting, forcing me to look down slightly to make eye contact with him from my perch on the table.

I thought about it. I remembered Zeke, and the pain. Oh, yes, I remembered the pain. I remembered Hotrod talking to me, crying, and saying… Then…

"Hotrod was afraid I would die from the metal, and reminded of a promise, and… some other things. Then the pain went away and I woke up."

Ratchet nodded. "A lot of things have happened since then. You've been asleep for three weeks. Hotrod used his own spark to create one for you, though he didn't know what he was doing at the time. He and Perceptor preserved your memories, as it was clear that your human body could no longer be salvaged."

I stared, and I felt my eyes' focus narrowing in on his face again, so I 'zoomed out' back to normal. "You mean that this –metal- all over me, is," I shuddered emphatically, "me?"

Ratchet nodded. "You're essentially Cybertronian. Readings classify you as neutral, so you're neither Autobot nor Decepticon. That's a choice you'd have to make."

"I'm a mech?"

Ratchet gave me an amused look. "No, technically you're a femme. Mechs refer to males, though you couldn't know that, never having met a femme."

"I don't…" It felt like my mind was running over the same thing over and over. _I'm a robot. I'm not human. I'm something I shouldn't be. I'm a robot._ "Ratchet, I don't-"

"Bravura," he began, "I want you to listen to me. Every single Autobot on this base is behind you. We felt responsible for your wellbeing before, but understand, you are our own kind now. I'm here for you, Optimus is here for you… Even Ironhide has helped a few bots through hard times. You have no need to fear."

I was listening with one part of my mind, and still freaking out in another. Yet another piece of me wanted to slap Hotrod across the face for some mysterious reason, and even still, I wanted to find him and get him to hold me like that again…

I looked back down at my gleaming hand. As I turned it in the light, I caught sight of my Decepticon tattoo, now rising up in sharp edges from the smooth metal of my wrist. I tilted my wrist to Ratchet, and he answered my unspoken question.

"A throwback from your human body. It would have probably happened to any tattoo you had, it's not representative of your affiliations. It can be sanded off easily, which I advise we do soon, being in a military base run by these trigger happy humans…"

It almost sounded like he was confiding to me a distaste for my people in that statement, or maybe just their ignorance. Like he'd already forgotten what I was supposed to be, what I still was on the inside.

A more rational part of me denied this thinking. _Ratchet doesn't have any bad feelings for humans. They _are_ a little quick on the draw, you know that from personal experience. He's only being honest, and you would do well to quit judging people so negatively._

I rubbed my face, overwhelmed. Neither my hands nor my face felt hard, but the soft grinding noises said otherwise. "It's like there are two people in my head, Ratchet. Normal me, and know-it-all me."

Through a gap in my fingers, I saw him nod. "Your logic processors. You'll get used to them, they're just made to force you to see things from a slightly different angle. It tends to help in most situations."

The part of me that wanted to both sweet talk and berate Hotrod was beginning to frustrate me, so I looked down at my lap again. "What was Hotrod doing to me when you started yelling at him?"

Ratchet looked a little embarrassed for the first time ever in my experience. "He… Hotrod was… you see… He was trying to calm you by spark bonding with you."

"Why is part of me so mad about it?"

Ratchet nodded slowly. "Spark bonding is rather like human mating. He was becoming intimate with you without your permission."

If I could've blushed I would've. Hotrod had been trying to get busy with me on the table while Ratchet watched. _ Not just Ratchet,_ my logic processors added dryly. I looked around, realizing it was true. I'd felt him all along, but I hadn't put together what I was sensing. He was watching while pretending to work on some doodad on his table.

"Who's that mech?" I asked, tilting my head to the blue and red mech hunched over the table across the room.

"Perceptor. He was instrumental in saving your memories."

"Oh. I guess I should thank him some time." I rubbed my face again, slumping. "I'm getting tired all the sudden. What's this…?" A flashing red had appeared. I could see it, but it wasn't actually in my field of vision. Like I had two sets of eyes, the normal pair, and one set looking into a dark room with tiny lights all over. "Flashing red stuff?"

Ratchet got up and pointed his hand at me, which had sprouted several gadgets. I flinched, halfway expecting to feel some serious pain, but nothing happened and I slowly relaxed.

Finally he nodded and withdrew his tools. "You're low on energon, I forgot to give you a boost before we woke you. We'll start you on some low grade." The bigger mech went to a large humming stainless steel box resembling a fridge, and opened it. A white glow came from inside, then Ratchet pulled out a cube that looked small in his hands. He brought it to me, holding it out, and I took it tentatively. It was quite large in mine. I stared at it, not knowing what to do with it.

"I'm sure you want some time to rest and think things through. We've outfitted a room for you. I'll have Mirage show you to it when you're done, alright?" He waited for me to nod, then continued. "If Hotrod tries to talk to you, Mirage will have orders from me to make him keep his distance."

"Do you really think you need to do that?"

"Do you want him to try to bond with you in public again?"

I shook my head, stunned. Hotrod wouldn't do that. _Maybe not a second time, anyway._


	33. Ping Pong Revisited

I'm feeling very pro-skywarp these days, so rejoice Deceptifans :)

* * *

Ratchet showed me how to drink the energon when he realized I didn't know how. It was like regular drinking, but minus the chewing and swallowing. It was like drinking a shake, only letting it drain down instead of actively sucking it up, reminding me of putting fuel injector into a car. I wasn't quite able to finish it, but I from my internal room full of tiny lights I could tell that I was full. I was handing the almost empty cube back to Ratchet when Mirage came in through the sick bay door.

"Why is Hotrod stomping around the halls like a youngling?" His eyes fell on me, and he made a comical chirping 'O!' sound.

I smiled and slid off the table, landing on my own two feet for the first time in my new body. I lost my balance and wavered until Ratchet steadied me. "Just take it slow," he said encouragingly. I stepped out slowly, and the rhythm wasn't much different from walking had been before. My body seemed to know how, it was just my mind throwing me off.

I crossed the distance to Mirage and lifted my arms to him without thinking.

He laughed, and instead of reaching down to pick me up, he simply bent low and then wrapped his arms around me, swinging me around like a small child. He finished his spin, hugging me to him tightly, then let me down and knelt to get a better look.

He whistled. "Look at you! All grown up, huh? You look just like Frenzy if he were a femme! Well, a lot like him anyway, but prettier. Spin around, let me see the new you."

I tried, and would've fallen if not for Mirage's quick intervention.

"Watch out, you don't wanna fall and scuff that brand new aft!"

"Watch your language, Mirage," said Ratchet disapprovingly from the table.

The Lexus laughed good-naturedly and patted my shoulder lightly. "Come on, clumsy. I bet you're tired, huh?"

I waited until we'd left the sickbay, then looked at up Mirage. He didn't seem nearly as tall as he once had, though he still towered over me. "Actually, I'm not tired at all. Just weird, like I don't fit in my body."

Mirage looked down and nodded. "Maybe you'd like to play a game then? It'll help you get used to yourself."

"What kind of game?"

Mirage smiled wickedly. "Ping pong."

* * *

An hour later found Mirage and me in the rec. hall. I'd lost every game but one, and I could tell Mirage was going easy on me. My arm was just too long and quick to get used to. Several of the soldiers, whom I now felt huge next to, had watched with interest until it became clear that this there wasn't going to be any real competition.

I'd lost count of how many losses I'd had when I felt a lightly tapping on my thigh. I looked down, and a man was looking up at me.

"Hey," he began, "Let me show you how it's done. It's obvious you've never played before."

I stifled a laugh and gave him the paddle, moving to watch from the sidelines.

This guy was actually pretty good. He smoked Mirage in the first volley. Mirage came back, and soon it was a lightning fast game, and they were both determined to win. A small crowd had gathered around the table, mostly cheering for the man, so I took up Mirage's side and cheered him on every time he scored. They were neck and neck when Hotrod came into the rec. hall.

Nobody had noticed him coming in until he walked over to the table, watching me over everyone else. I groaned as Mirage lost a point, then caught sight of Hotrod's red paint job. I looked at him and felt suddenly nervous. He didn't say anything, but he smiled, and I smiled back weakly. I felt embarrassed, maybe because of the whole attempted bonding thing.

Mirage turned to me to say something about the game, but whatever he was going to say died as he followed my gaze. He straightened up, his posture not quite threatening. "Come on, mech, you know what Ratchet said."

Hotrod nodded. "I know, I just wanted to see… I'm not going to start any trouble."

Mirage sighed, and I suddenly felt tired. Maybe I was mentally slithering out of the difficult situation, but I really did feel heavier than before.

"Mirage, can you show me my room?" I asked quietly. Hotrod looked hurt, but I tried not to look at him. I wasn't ready to talk to him yet.

Mirage nodded and put one hand on my shoulder, guiding my away from the ping pong table. The army guys were catcalling us, but I didn't care, and I doubted Mirage did either.

"That's a Pit of a lot of tension between you too," commented Mirage as we walked down the hallway together.

I nodded. "Yeah… It's just weird. You know how things were before, back when I was human. This is like a ton of extra pressure that I don't want to deal with right now. Does that make sense?"

Mirage nodded, patting my shoulder. "Yep, I always knew you liked me better anyway," he said with a smile and a wink in the form of one optic flicking out for a second.

I punched his hip playfully, reveling in the lack of pain I got out of it. Mirage stumbled, groaning, and I panicked. I put my hands out, not sure what to do, when he grabbed me and put me in a headlock, kneeling down to reach me. I couldn't decide if I should laugh or yelp, so I did both, the metallic sound alien to me. He started rubbing my head, which I realized was free of hair of any kind, to the point of discomfort.

"Ok, ok, I give! Uncle!" He released me and I stumbled away, still laughing, and Mirage was laughing too. I felt lighter again, infinitely thankful for the brotherly support. I hugged him again while he was still kneeling and he hugged back, then pushed me away with a mischievous smile. I almost fell on my aft, but he grabbed me just before I went down, straightening me out.

"You've really gotta work on that coordination thing," he said merrily, rising back to his feet.

"I don't have much else to do," I said, smiling. I was about to asking him about Cybertronian style wrestling when he stopped in front of a Transformer sized door.

"Here we are, my dear! It's not much, but it's got a bed that only fits one," he said with another wink. "Do you know how to reach me if you need me?"

I shook my head, and he reached out for my shoulder again. Suddenly something almost like an instant message appeared in my inner vision with a list of names, numbers, and codes, as well as directions for accessing my short wave transmissions.

"Got it?" He asked.

I nodded slowly. "Think so. Thanks for looking out for me, Mirage."

He looked serious for a moment. "Any time. Just call and I'll be there, ok?"

I nodded, then pushed my door open and stepped into my room, shutting it behind me. It was almost pitch black, aside from a line of tiny lights on the floor, my optics seemed to be able to handle it. I crossed the room to the bench and let the overwhelmingl shock finally crash down on me as I sat on the bench. My eyes glowed blue on the floor, and I leaned back against the wall to avoid seeing it, letting my muted terror run its course.

* * *

I discovered I had an internal clock, and that it was very late when I came out of my daze. I didn't know if I'd fallen into recharge or just lost track of time, but I was wide awake, so I left my recharge bench and headed back into the hall. They were mostly empty, except for the occasional armed soldier, probably on watch. They usually gave me a nod as they passed, which I began returning after the second time it happened.

I wandered aimlessly for over an hour, following a map Mirage had left in some sort of file form in the message he'd sent me. I'd covered most of the base when I realized there were two doors that didn't seem to lead anywhere. I turned and headed for the closest one, curiously.

When I got there, two guards were standing on either side of the huge Cybertronian sized door. I approached slowly and was about to speak when one of the guards flipped a large switch that looked heavy by the way he had to push, and then the door slid open with a hiss. I looked at them blankly until one gestured at me impatiently to go in, so I did. I found myself at the top of a stairwell. I thought about going back but my curiosity got the better of me.

I walked down the stairwell, which probably would've been tight for someone like Optimus but soared far over my head. It was several flights, and I ignored the part of my brain –processors- that wanted to count each flight, just in case.

The stairs ended in a long hall that turned sharply left, then I was out into open air. It was dark, but my optics had little trouble making the adjustments. Off to the right was a huge door with keypads at both Cybertronian and human height, but to the left was a door with another guard sitting in a chair and watching a few small TVs. I approached him, and much like the last one, he simply looked me over then opened the door with a heavy switch.

I felt gigantic walking past him. I was through, looking around, when the door slammed shut behind me. There was a moment of panic, but then I realized he was watching through a security camera. He'd let me out in the same way. But why the precautions?

I turned to find out. Mostly huge open holes in the walls, each room sparsely decorated with a recharge bench of Cybertronian proportions, some bigger than others. I saw a bright white glow a few cells down and went to look. They were faintly humming bars. So it was a cell. I peered through the diffuse light and saw a large dark form lying on the bench. As I watched its head turned to look at me and I saw a pair of scarlet eyes, and I recognized Skywarp.

I gasped and stepped back. There was so much _hatred_ in that look. Skywarp simply stared at me, and I slowly walked closer to the faintly humming bars. "Skywarp?"

The Seeker simply growled, a sound like boulders crashing down a canyon. He looked back up at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry you're stuck here, I had no idea. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Believe me, if I had any idea they'd caught you I would've said something."

I started to reach up to grab the bars in front of me, when Skywarp looked at me and with a sharp tone said, "Don't touch those."

I shrank back just slightly. "Do you hate me now?"

He sighed heavily. "Look, just because I had my orders back then, it doesn't mean I had anything against any of the femmes. I didn't have much choice either. Why the hell did they let a femme down here anyway?"

I stared, realizing he was referring to the femme extermination. He didn't recognize me "You think I'm… Oh. You've never seen me like this. It's me, Skywarp. Bravura."

There was a grind of metal and Skywarp was across the room with a speed that frightened me. I stepped away from the bars reflexively.

"Bravura?" He asked, his voice suddenly lower and less menacing. "They didn't tell me you were awake." He studied me for a long time, then leaned as close to the bars as he could get. "Prove you're her."

I thought about it. There were a few things only we'd shared, but none of it seemed good enough. I looked down at my wrist, at the sharp lines of the Decepticon logo, and slowly held that up for him to see.

He watched, optics glued to the insignia, then looked back to my face. He looked suddenly frail despite his bulk, and he dropped from a crouch to his knees, lowering himself to be closer to my height. "You made it…"

I nodded. "I'm a little different now. It's not like being human."

He shook his head. "I should hope not." He looked me up and down. "It's obvious you take after Frenzy, but somehow it looks good on you."

I rubbed my shoulder self-consciously. "Yeah, I don't know the new standard for attractiveness, but that's what Mirage said too. I'm like girl-Frenzy."

Skywarp gave me a stiff smile and shook his head again. "I didn't say you look like Frenzy, I said I can see the resemblance. You don't have that miss-clocked look he's got. And you're… smoother. You don't have an alt mode yet, do you?"

I shook my head. "No, I still don't know how to check my e-mail much less turn into a toaster."

"A toaster?"

"A little machine people stick bread in to make it crunchy."

He stared at me blankly, and I shrugged, changing the subject. "Why are you locked up in here?"

He looked away, some of the bitterness coming back. "The Autobots asked me to help you, so I went to find their scientist. When I came back that little- Hotrod looked like he was trying to spark bond with you before your human body died. I didn't think, I just attacked. I was outnumbered, and I've been in here ever since."

Three weeks in this prison, all because he'd tried to help me. Guilt flooded me, and I crossed my arms, feeling suddenly shy. "I'm sorry, Skywarp."

He looked back to me, and to my relief there was no blame in his expression or his voice. "It's worth it, knowing it helped save you. You're all I've thought about. I've wondered what you would look like. You're still so small."

I shrugged. "I feel huge, and heavy, and clumsy."

He nodded. "You're just in that awkward stage," and I could swear he was teasing me. "I remember when I had my first growth spurt, practically grew ten feet in my recharge. I was lucky Starscream and Thundercracker covered for me then, or I would've been the laughing stock of the Seekers."

This side of Skywarp was new. He'd never confided his past to me like this before. Maybe my new body made him more comfortable with me? Or maybe he just finally saw me as an actual person.

"I thought you hated Starscream?"

His vents sighed. "He changed a lot, working for Megatron. He started wanting power. He wasn't happy playing with his lab toys anymore. He just changed… I don't hate him, but… things are different now. When you're a Seeker, your brothers are your family. Maybe you can't stand them, but you can't change family."

"I didn't know you were brothers."

"More like adopted brothers. Seekers almost always go in threes, it's just the way we are. The three of us have been together since before we can remember." He rubbed his neck awkwardly. "So… what sort of alt mode would you choose, if you could transform? I hope you're going to say a plane." He was teasing again.

"Didn't you say when we first met that you chose your alt based on the skills you already have?"

"Yes."

"Well, I can't fly."

He laughed. "That's just because you've never tried. Though… you're awfully small for most planes. I don't know if you could even manage a crop duster."

I laughed, secretly marveling at the ring of metal in my voice. "I'll probably go for some wheels, if they make anything small enough. Maybe a golf cart?"

He gave me a blank look, and I shrugged, smiling.

We sat in silence, just looking at each other for a long time. I hated seeing him locked up like this. Maybe he was really just misunderstood after all. The side I was seeing now wasn't at all like the frightening giant I'd first met, or even the Skywarp from the base. Maybe my new body was giving me a new perspective on him, too.

"Maybe… Maybe this is your chance to join the Autobots, Skywarp? Don't you see how silly it is to keep fighting like this? You aren't even fighting _for_ anything, you're just following old habits."

"Haven't I explained this already?" He looked vaguely irritated. "You wouldn't know what it's like, you're neutral. I can't help but hate them."

I carefully reached my thin arm through the glowing bars, not quite able to touch him. "You can help it, Skywarp. You found Peceptor for them, didn't you?"

"No, I found him for you. That's a big difference," he said gruffly, but he reached out and delicately took my small hand in his. He was warm now, not hot like I'd thought before. "I would do anything for you, Bravura." His other hand felt along my wrist, one finger brushing the insignia there. Before I knew what he was doing, he'd popped my wrist guard open.

I jerked back in surprise, but he held me firmly. "Calm down," He said, as if I were being childish.

"What are you doing?" I demanded. He kept hold of my hand, using his free hand to pop open a panel on his own forearm, and withdrawing a cable. "Hey, whoa, what it that? What are you _doing?"_

"Shh." He stretched the thin cable to my own wrist, a glint coming off of the oddly shaped end. He pressed it into something in my arm, and for a moment, nothing happened.

It came on slowly, like a wave coming to the shore.

It was like a pale version of what Hotrod had done in the sick bay. Exhilarating electricity raced through my body, and I could feel another mind stroking those feelings through my senses. It seemed to beckon to me, and tentatively I sent a shock back through the connection. Skywarp's huge body jumped slightly, almost knocking my arm into the bars, and then he settled with a chuckle. "Maybe not so hard, next time," he whispered. "Like this." The pleasure whispered through me again and I shivered, barely able to stand despite my solid frame.

I sent a smaller shock back, following it through the connection. I could feel Skywarp now, and I tried to mimic what he'd done to me, pushing the jolts gently through his body. I was feeling his response like it was my own when I realized what this was. This was some kind of sexual thing.

I withdrew instantly, but the lack made me feel cold and small. He stayed with me, sending a caress down my back, seeming to say, _Don't be afraid._ I was about to slowly reach out again when a whistling hum distracted me. Skywarp fled back into his own body, giving me one last brush, and the physical connection was broken as he released me and he rose to his feet, then stepped away from the bars.

I fell back on my aft, shaken. I caught my breath, my vents working overtime, then looked up at the source of the whistling. It was Prowl, and he was pointing a gun at Skywarp.

"Try that again and I'll make sure it's your last time," the Charger said to the Raptor, his voice low and dangerous. He gestured to me to get up, so I did. "Out, Bravura."

I walked away guiltily, looking back at Skywarp over my shoulder. I felt a strange reluctance to leave him.

* * *

Teehee, robot smut. Don't worry, that's about as graphic as it gonna get. It could get that graphic again later :)


	34. The Brighter Side

Whoops, I've received a request to warn people when I drag in the smut. This chapter is smut free, you're safe!

* * *

I rushed back to my room, ashamed for myself and for Skywarp. Ashamed that I'd gotten caught with him and ashamed that he'd done that without explaining it to me and asking. That made three Autobots to date that had seen me doing inappropriate things with other mechs. It wouldn't be long before I was labeled the resident whore. _You do have a grace period, you know. They won't expect you to know everything._

I shuddered, the metal of my body clinking against the recharge bench. Good thing I considered myself a strong person, or I'd be walking off a cliff in embarrassment. I looked at one of my polished hands and snorted, the sound coming out through my vents as more of a gasp than a snort. I'd have to get used to those. I probably wouldn't even die if I jumped off a cliff, just get myself scratched up.

I turned onto my side and moaned, my eyes lighting up the wall next to me. I flicked a mental finger and switched them off, sick of being reminded that I didn't in fact have eyes, I had optics. I stifled a sob and hugged myself. Goodbye, hopes and dreams. Goodbye, plans. Hello uncertain future. Hello war.

* * *

I snapped into awareness and out of what was definitely recharge when I felt a message light up my second vision. Checking Mirage's note, I saw that it was coming from Optimus Prime himself.

_Please come to the upper deck at 6:00 am._ There was a file attached, pointing me to the other unexplained door, the one I'd seen on the map but hadn't visited. I check my internal clock and saw that it was 5:45. I'd have to hurry to get there in time.

There were no guards at the entrance to the upper deck. There was a staircase, which I took, and as I did my optics detected a change in the quality of light. It was different… And then I was up on the upper deck. It was a wide open space, and one entire wall was devoted to glass looking out over the scrub of Nevada. The sun was close to rising, almost just peeking over the edge of hills far in the distance. Optimus Prime was standing with his back to me, hands clasped behind his back. He was watching the sun rise.

I approached slowly, finding a place near enough to Optimus to show I was here to listen but far enough away to satisfy my own nervousness. He looked down at me and nodded, then looked back up just as a ray of sunlight stabbed out onto our piece of the world. The readings it gave me were startling, different from the artificial light of the base. It was beautiful in a way I'd never appreciated before.

We watched in silence until the sun was about halfway up, then Optimus looked back down at me.

"Ratchet and Prowl have given me some worrisome reports, Bravura."

I nodded, looking up at him, trying to keep the emotion off of my face. "Yes," I confirmed, not sure what to say.

"You are new to your body. You'll be learning things about yourself for centuries, but for now, I want to be sure you don't feel that you have to meet any of what you believe our expectations to be. You don't have to be Hotrod's mate, though he seems to feel you should. In fact, I would advise against any serious relationships, considering the war we're in." He looked back up to the now golden hills. "It can only end badly."

I followed his gaze and sighed. "I didn't mean for either of those things to happen, Optimus, thought I do regret that they happened."

"I know. This is not a reprimand. You aren't a soldier. However, you no longer have access to the brig, since Skywarp is a prisoner of war. He may use your naiveté against you, and consequently against us."

"Is there no chance you can sort this out with him? Help him to see all this fighting is pointless now? Megatron is gone, Starscream is gone. Thundercracker isn't all bad, he just needs an outlet. Skywarp just needs direction and someone to trust him. Barricade… Well, he's probably hopeless… Frenzy too."

Optimus gave me a fatherly smile. "Your spark is in the right place, Bravura, and if I could make it happen I would. Maybe your friendship with the Seeker will help change things; he did enact a truce for your sake." He looked down me, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I'm going to give you limited access to Skywarp. You'll have to be escorted of course."

I nodded, relieved. Optimus understood.

"Are you adjusting to your new body?"

I shifted my weight, weighing that question. "I suppose so. I still feel the same, my body just surprises me sometimes."

"If you have any trouble at all feel free to come to me or to Ratchet." He turned back to the open window.

I turned to leave, but a thought occurred to me. "Isn't this big glass wall a little dangerous? What if the Decepticons fly by?"

"A hologram has been installed here, much like what protects the entrance."

"Ah. Thanks, Optimus Prime."

"You are welcome."

I turned and went back down the stairs.

* * *

Mirage was introducing me to my first dose of regular grade energon in the rec. hall about an hour later. I didn't really notice a difference downing it, but Mirage had smugly told me that I would soon. He was right. In a few minutes I started to feel giddy and excited, suddenly strong enough to run a marathon.

"Hey, Mirage," I said as I got up and bounced from one foot to the other. I felt light as a feather, but the clanks of my feet hitting the floor said otherwise. "What can you show me about wrestling? Like the headlock from yesterday. Can I try some moves on you? The martial arts kind of moves, not the 'moves' moves." I laughed at myself, and Mirage laughed too, though probably not for the same reason.

"You really wanna do that?" He asked, getting to his feet from the bench against the wall.

"Yeeeeah!" I felt happier than I had in weeks. I felt like singing. I felt like dancing. I felt like whooping Mirage's aft.

Mirage got up and walked by me, grabbing me by the head and shaking slightly, kind of like ruffling my nonexistent hair. I grabbed his arm, yowling playfully, and then dashed ahead of him into the hall, giving little care to Ratchet's instructions to 'take it slow.' I felt great, and I wasn't going to waste it. I realized I didn't know where we were going, so I spun around and waited for the dark blue mech as he followed, bemused.

"We're headed for the Training Room. Care to race?"

I laughed, then turned away from him and positioned myself as if to take off from the starting line. I expected him to do the same, but when he suddenly swept past me I yelled in outrage and took off after him

Running was a giddy feeling. He was bigger than me, with a longer stride, but I had Frenzy's skittery speed and was soon just behind the blue mech. We were rounding the corner neck and neck when a human appeared practically out of nowhere on my side of the hall. Mirage yelled, I yelled, and through our combined efforts we managed to miss the terrified soldier and land in a heap of tangled metal.

I was laughing without a care in the world as I pulled myself out from under Mirage. His laughter suddenly cut off, and in a few seconds I caught on and followed his look. Prowl was standing down the hall, arms crossed. He looked pissed.

Mirage straightened up, pulling me up by the arm. "Uh… Sorry, Prowl. It was an accident. Getting her used to her body and all… Headed to the Training Room." He saluted, and then pulled me along past the Charger, who eyed us. I could swear I saw the ghost a smile. We rounded another corner and I immediately burst into laughter, and Mirage couldn't help but chuckle.

"Primus, that was close!"

"Yeah but FUN! Let's do it again!" I started to take off, but Mirage grabbed me by the shoulder and held me back.

"As great as that sounds, we're here. Wouldn't you rather wrestle?"

I nodded enthusiastically and followed the Lexus into the Training Room.

It was divided into a shooting range, which was occupied by several soldiers, and a big open space, part of it covered with mats and the rest bare concrete. Mirage led me to the bare concrete and turned to face me. I instinctively measured out mai-ai, the closest you can get to your opponent and still be out of striking range. I took my place in front of the bigger mech, old aikido lessons running through my head.

"So, what do you know about fighting, tiny?" Mirage had an extremely confident posture, hands on his hips, chest puffed out,

"Nothing, really. I know how to defend myself a little."

He thought that over, and then nodded. "Ok, let's see how you handle this."

With that he suddenly lunged at me. I chose to crowd him, stepping forward. I goblet stepped just out of his line of attack and touched his wrist with just a little guiding force. He wobbled and nearly fell to his knees, then wheeled on me again. This time I moved back, and stumbled a few steps as he reached for my neck, which was suddenly just out of reach. I took his wrist again when he switched to a punch, following his steps, and in a flurry of movement which probably looked like a dance to the gawking soldiers in the shooting range, eventually landed Mirage on his knees with his arm cranked awkwardly behind him. I wondered if my suddenly rapid fire reaction times were due to my new electronic brain.

I let him go immediately and flitted in front of him, practically overjoyed with myself. Aikido worked on mechs like Mirage, apparently.

He was grinning, but I could tell he was impressed. "Not bad for a scrawny little thing. Bet you can't throw a punch!" Suddenly he lashed out and grabbed me by the waist, flipping me around and putting me in another headlock. I shrieked and laughed but couldn't get away until he released me. I stumbled forward then settled to my knees, spinning around to look at the blue Lexus. He was watching me, his vents blowing harder than usual.

I smiled to him again, and he smiled back before looking away and rubbing the back of his head.

"What, that's it?" I asked. I was disappointed, even though my energon high was beginning to run down. "You afraid you'll get beat by a girl? Er, a femme."

"No, that's not it. I would totally win if I wanted to," He said wryly.

"Then why?" I asked petulantly.

"Because… Because I'm a gentleman, of course. Wouldn't you rather learn to shoot?"

I perked at that. "Yeah, sure. Not that big one, I hope!" I said, pointing to the large rifle mounted on his soldier.

He shook his head, then pointed to his hip. It transformed outwards, revealing a compartment with a small handgun inside, colored a bluish gray. He pulled it out with a flourish, and his hip shuffled closed again. "Let's go see if the little guys mind us." He rose up, offering me a hand up, and I took it, and then followed after him. There were two standing areas in the shooting range, one up front with a low wall for the humans, and another behind with a five foot wall and lots of leg room. Mirage took me there, and then began explaining the gun to me, showing the safety.

I asked about cocking it or reloading and he shook his head. "It's an energy pistol. All it needs is the safety off and about five seconds between shots to recharge. Remember, _never _point it at anyone, even if the safety is on."

I nodded and he handed the gun to me. I pointed down the range at a target and fired. I zoomed in my optics to see what happened to the small spat of yellow energy, and saw I'd hit the wall, nowhere near my intended target.

Mirage saw this too, then knelt down to my level. He reached around me and helped me aim the pistol, which was a bit large in my hands. "Try letting your guidance system at it."

I informed him that I didn't even know I had a guidance system, so he sent me the access instructions. I followed them, and suddenly I could understand much better how to aim my weapon. With Mirage's guidance I pointed again, and we hit the second ring from the middle.

I looked around the blue Lexus, who was still behind me, his hands resting over mine. I smiled my victory and he stared at me before smiling back and pulling away. "

"Try again," he said encouragingly.

I did as I was told, and the shot was a little wide, barely clipping the target, but I still felt pretty good. I kept at it for a while, Mirage occasionally giving suggestions, and congratulating me with an affectionate squeeze to the shoulder when I got lucky and hit the bull's eye.

Spending this quality time with Mirage made me realize that not everything about being a Transformer was all doom and gloom. I'd just had a few bad experiences. There was still time for everything to turn out right.

* * *

I know what you're thinking, and no, Mirage is not going to go after her. He's learned to care about her in a very different way, he's just becoming aware of her femininity a little more than he was before :)


	35. Brotherly Advice

Days passed and Mirage was my near constant companion from sunup to sundown. We practiced playing regular games I'd known since childhood to improve my dexterity. We played a very silly version of soccer using a stolen exercise ball. We often chased each other down the halls, and always Mirage was showing me new ways to use my computers.

I could call people. I could get on the Internet. I could listen to radio stations, traditional and satellite. I could use GPS. I could feel out the others here on the base, if they weren't in recharge or hiding from me. It seemed like the only thing he never mentioned was an alt mode, and while as I became more comfortable with myself the idea became intriguing, I was still perfectly happy the way I was. Of course… it was kind of miserable be trapped underground all of the time. Everyone else could just transform and take off if they got cabin fever.

Mirage and I took to spending a lot of time on the upper deck, both during the day and at night. The glass curved up just slightly, enough to see a small selection of stars. He taught me about space travel, about some of the things he'd seen.

"You know," he said one night, the both of us lying on our backs with our heads smooshed to the glass to see as much of the sky as we could, "You probably think organic life forms are the primary living beings out there, right?"

"I hadn't thought much about it. I guess I do."

"Do you think Cybertronians are the only inorganic species out there?"

"Would I bring wrong to say yes?"

I could seem him smile in the dim light. "Yes. There are lots of inorganic species out there, enough so that an organic space faring race wouldn't be surprised to meet one. I've met a few, actually."

"What were they like?"

"Everybody usually acts about the same when it comes to interspecies relations… They're either diplomatic and peaceful or they shoot first and ask questions later. Same as organics."

"Did you ever… fall in love with another species?"

Mirage looked at me knowingly. "No, I never did, but I might have if I'd met someone worth falling in love with, and if I'd had the time."

I thought about my question for a while, tracing the edges of the metal on my stomach. Finally I was able to raise the question, "What do you think I should do about Hotrod? I haven't seen him in days. He means well, I know he does, but I… I don't think I'm there, you know? And between Skywarp and him with the male possessive complex issues, it could ruin any chance of getting Skywarp to give up the war."

Mirage sighed heavily, then sat up and looked down at me, his eyes bright in the darkness. "Do you love him?"

I shifted uncomfortably and sat up too. "I don't know. I… I think I told him I did, when I thought I was going to die. It seemed easy to do, then, even if I survived. There wasn't exactly much of a reason to worry about it when I was human."

"But now you realize you would have to take a relationship with him seriously."

"I guess so," I mumbled, pulling my knees up to my chin and wrapping my arms around my legs. "And… you'll think I'm crazy, but if I had to choose between them, Hotrod and Skywarp, I feel kind of obligated to choose Sky-"

"Whoa, hold on. You didn't just almost say you'd choose a Decepticon over an Autobot, did you?"

"He's not that bad, Mirage, he just needs something to care about."

Mirage shook his head. "You can't change people, Bravura. Love is beautiful, and I know the humans have a saying that 'love conquers all,' but you can't assume that someone's love for you will change their nature, their personality. If you can't accept them for what they are from the start, you shouldn't pursue it thinking you can make them ideal."

I sighed softly. For a mech who hadn't had much love in his life, he knew an awful lot about it. Despite that, I knew he was right. "But if I don't, he may never stop fighting. If he defects, maybe Thundercracker would too. Even if the rest, Barricade and the Constructicons, still refuse, we'd have the upper hand. We could end everything so easily then."

"Nice sentiment, but it's never that easy," Mirage said, getting to his feet.

I followed suit, taking his hand up when he offered it. "It's not even worth a try?"

"Not if you don't love him."

"Then you think I should choose Hotrod?"

Mirage turned to me and knelt down, hands on my shoulders, to look me in the eye. "You don't _have_ to choose anybody. When you're in love you won't have to ask, you'll know."

I nodded, a quick, jerky motion, and then put my arms around the bigger mech's neck. "Thank you, Mirage." When did he become my best friend?

He hugged me back, then pulled away to give me a smile. "Besides, everybody knows we're _so_ together."

I laughed and nodded. "Oh, definitely a match made in heaven."

He got a mischievous look, then started to lean in. "Come on, angel, gimme a big kiss!"

I laughed and pushed him away, and he pretended to pout. "Oh, I forgot, you have a thing for bad boys."

"No, that's not it at all," I said coyly. "It's just that your breath is terrible!"

Mirage lunged for me and I just managed to slip under his arms, racing for the stairs. He screamed after me, "My breath is NOT terrible! I don't even have a… a breath!"

I flew down the stairs, Mirage's heavy footsteps counter pointing my slightly quieter ones, but my thoughts were in the brig, remembering my last meeting with Skywarp.

* * *

Prowl took me down to the brig, nodding to the guard who let us in, and then stopped and leaned against the wall near the door while I continued on to the Seeker's cell.

He was crouched low next to the bars as soon as he recognized me. "They let you come back?"

I nodded, arms crossed firmly over my chest. No more robo-hanky-panky. "How are you holding up down here?"

He shook his head. "I hate it here. Who wouldn't? I haven't flown in almost a month and my joints are practically rusting."

"You know… If you'd agree to Optimus's non-aggression treaty they'd let you go."

Skywarp glared at me, sitting up a little higher. "Honestly, they're feeding you that slag? Come on, it's the stupidest thing I ever heard."

"All you have to agree to is not harming humans, which you already seem to agree with, not destroying their resources or buildings, and become a neutral. They don't even want you to fight for them, Skywarp, just stop fighting!"

"Please stop, Bravura. You're young, you don't understand. I've been fighting for longer than your species has existed. I can't just give that up."

"Can't you try for me?" I whispered, leaning close to the bars. "Just try? Thundercracker would listen to you. It would mean so much to me."

"Don't ask me that, please." He leaned away from the bars, refusing to look me in the optic.

"_Please_, Skywarp."

He sighed, a surprisingly harsh sound. "I need to think about it."

I started to turn away to leave when he leaned close to the bars again.

"Wait," he whispered, sounding desperate. "Please just stay a little longer?" He reached his fingertips through the bars. By a glance back at Prowl I could see the Seeker was cutting it pretty close, but I reached out and laid one hand on his, keeping well outside the cell.

A message popped up in my second vision. It had never occurred to me that he could use them; I'd thought they'd turned off his communications? Then again, this was a very limited form of communication. You had to be touching the receiver.

_Why did you come to see me this time, even after… our exchange? Optimus Prime made it sound like you were put out by the whole experience._

I would've blanched, but it's difficult for metal to go pale on you. Optimus had come down and had 'the chat' with Skywarp too?

_It wasn't right, what you did, but you didn't really mean any harm, right? _He nodded, and I continued._ You probably haven't seen a femme in million years, _I sent, trying to smile. _I would appreciate it if you give me a choice in the matter if something like that ever comes up again, but I'm not upset. It was… nice._

"Bravura," Prowl called from the end of the hall. "Please keep it to vocal processors."

I nodded and stepped away form the mech in the cell, breaking our contact.

Skywarp had a wily look, and he gestured for me to lean closer. I did, and he whispered so that I could barely catch it, "If I ever get out of here I can show you a lot more than that."

I backed away again, embarrassed. "You'd have to agree to the non-aggression treaty for that to happen," I said nervously. "Um… I have an… appointment with Ratchet. I'll see you again soon, ok?"

The mech nodded slowly, even a little sadly, and I wished I could make things work out where everyone could be happy.

* * *

I broke out of my reminiscing when I almost ran into Perceptor, who was coming up the stairs, heading for the upper deck. He wasn't very big, only a five or six feet taller than me.

"Oh, hello! I see you're getting that coordination worked out, Ratchet was just discussing with me the need to develop efficient electronic pathways early on, as they'll be with you forever you know! Ah, yes, you really should go check in with him, he worries, though he'd never admit it."

Mirage slid down a few steps as he ground to a halt behind me. "Oh, hey Perc. Doing a little stargazing tonight?"

The scientist nodded. "My new alt mode promises to be very productive in the lab, but I'm quite interested in how this mode will deal with longitudinal chromatic aberrations."

Mirage and I nodded simultaneously. "Ah, well, that's great!" The Lexus was edging around the other mech, pulling me along. "Let me know how that goes, Perc!"

"Certainly, Mirage. It was nice seeing you, Bravura."

"Bye Perceptor!"

Mirage and I claimed the TV in the rec. hall, which was empty this late at night. We sat watching bad comedy for a long time, but I couldn't get my mind off of the Vanquish who should've been here wish us.

"Where has Hotrod been, Mirage? I haven't felt him in the base at all."

Mirage was quiet for a minute, eyes glued to the TV screen. I almost gave up on an answer when he finally said quietly, "He's been taking my patrols. We decided it was best for you, until you were adjusted."

"What do you mean by 'adjusted' anyway?" I pushed one of the couches out of the way so I could stretch my polished legs.

"Ratchet says you're adjusted when you are physically, mentally and emotionally prepared to live out the rest of your life as one of us, more or less."

I nodded. "Well, Physically and mentally I'm all set. Emotionally, not so much. Not all of the time."

"I didn't think so. It's a lot to swallow, even if you _do_ have the coolest babysitter in a hundred star systems." He winked at me, which reminded me of my current obsession. How does one wink when the mental switch only flips them both at the same time?

I wiggled the switch, toyed with it, tried switching it on and off quickly, and even scrunching that side of my face like I would've as a human, when Mirage burst out laughing.

"What are you doing, shorting out?" He said, leaning over to get a better look at me.

"I'm," I tried scrunching my face and wiggling the switch at the same time, "winking!"

"That's not winking, that's just creepy!"

I reached out and gave him a light punch in the knee, something I knew he'd barely feel.

"So what's this, robot date night?" A new voice asked behind us.

Mirage and I both turned to look at the human behind us. It took me a moment, but with a start I realized it was Zeke, the human who'd inadvertently been responsible for my change of species. I reached out and touched Mirage's hand, silently explaining it to him.

"When is your kind gonna figure out we're Autonomous organisms and not robots, tiny?" Mirage said, vaguely irritated both because of the soldier's interruption, as well as on my behalf.

"Maybe when you quit looking like a bad Japanese cartoon." The man smirked. He looked very small now, and I bit back the urge to swat him away.

"What do you want? Or are you just here to pick a fight, because I can promise you you'll lose, little guy," I hissed, leaning towards the soldier in what I hoped was a menacing way.

_Easy, girl._ Mirage sent.

"I'm _here_," he said with a snotty twist of his lip, "to watch some TV, but I wouldn't want to ruin your alone time with ugly, here."

I opened my mouth to tell him off, but Mirage cut me off. "We were just going anyway. You can have it."

I looked at Mirage with a little irritation, but followed him as he got up and headed for the door. Zeke glared after us, that same obnoxious twist to his mouth ruining his already modest looks.

This had been the first time in my new existence that I'd spoken directly to one of the soldiers. "You're not ugly," I grumbled. "I hadn't realized there was so much negativity down here," I looked to Mirage as we headed down the hall to the sleeping quarters.

"Well… the two of us have been terrorizing them for a while now, running all over the place and scaring them. I doubt he'd talk to Prowl or Optimus that way."

"Oh." Whoops. "So… maybe we should start toning things down, huh? No more racing…" I was sad, since the easy, heady feeling of running was perhaps one of the best things I'd discovered about being Cybertronian.

"Maybe, yeah. I was meaning to tell you, actually… I'm on patrol tomorrow. Hotrod's worn out, he hasn't had a decent recharge since – well, you know. I'll be gone a couple of days. If you want I can ask Bumblebee to come spend some time with you, he hasn't been to the base in a couple of weeks."

I did miss Bee, but I didn't want Hotrod to think I was doing everything I could to avoid him. No, if I got desperate I'd go sit with Ratchet and Perceptor. I shook my head. "Thanks, but he doesn't have to come all the way out here. Hotrod will probably sleep the whole time anyway, and there's no way he'd do anything crazy. He's had a lot of time to think."

Mirage nodded. "I'm glad you don't have a grudge. He's a good mech, a little rough around the edges, a little foolhardy, but he's pure platinum at his core."

"I know," I said sadly. I wished I could only see the platinum again, like it had been when I'd first met him.

_You'll never be alone again. I promise you._

I decided then that I'd talk to him tomorrow.


	36. Murder Most Foul

Heehee! Thanks for all the favs, alerts, and reviews everyone :)

* * *

By the time I woke up from recharge the next morning Mirage had left for patrol. That meant Hotrod was back, probably asleep.

I went to the rec. hall for a little energon. I could drink enough to last me a week or so, if I didn't mind the wild energon high it would give me, but Ratchet wanted me to drink small amounts often until I learned my body's needs. I whistled to myself as I walked, the sound coming out shrill and rippling with electronic tones. Humans were already up and about, doing their duties.

I backpedaled mentally. I was thinking of them as 'different' already? Not just people, or soldiers, or men, but _humans?_ I groaned, earning an odd look from a pair of soldiers as they walked by. I gave them a weak smile, and they shook their heads and looked away pointedly.

I'd already turned into the rec. hall and started for the energon cooler when I realized someone was watching me. I looked, and with a start met Hotrod's electric blue eyes. Funny, they were the same blue as everyone else's… They just seemed so much brighter on him.

"Uh!" I stuttered instantly. "Oh. I thought you- I mean, not that- I just- Oh." I ground into silence.

His blank expression didn't change. He was slumped, a cube of energon in one hand. He seemed preoccupied, and somehow he looked worn down, even though his paintjob was as shiny as ever.

"I know, I'll go," he said, starting to get up, but I walked to him, motioning for him to sit back down.

"No, no. Sit back down, you need it." I stopped after a few steps, and when he settled heavily back onto the bench I turned back to the cooler and plucked out a small cube. I shut the cooler and looked back to Hotrod, who was holding his own cube to his lips. I made my decision.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" I asked shyly.

He made a coughing sort of sound, lowering the cube and looking at me in surprise. "You want to sit with _me?_"

"Uh huh." I approached the bench, moving to a spot a few feet down from him. I waited, and finally he nodded incredulously.

I sat, sipping my energon and pretending not to want to look him over. His vents sighed quietly, and the dejection in that sound tugged at my heart. Ah, my spark.

"I'm not mad at you, Hotrod."

"That's what Mirage said." I waited, but he didn't seem to want to elaborate, so I continued.

"Maybe after you get a chance to recharge we can watch a movie? Like old times, back when Bumblebee and Sam were here?"

"How can you even stand to say that so easily? It'll never be like old times," Hotrod said, his voice rising just a little. "Back then, you trusted me. I'd never given you any reasons to doubt me. I was your Guardian!" He finally looked at me, something like anguish in his expression. "And now, all you'll see when you look at me is the mech who tried to use you almost before you booted your logic processors!" The energon cube in his hand made a strange creaking sound as he squeezed it.

"You weren't using me. You were trying-"

"NO, Bravura!"

I shrank under the intensity of his outburst and the room got quiet, the absent chatter from the smattering of soldiers eating their breakfast silenced.

I looked away, rubbing my arm. I hadn't known he was so _angry_ with himself. I felt him looking at me, and then he began again with contrition in his voice. "I _was_ being selfish. I wanted it so badly, to prove we were spark mates. To show them all. I wasn't thinking about you, I just wanted to rub it in that slagger Skywarp's face."

I gathered my courage, reached out and touched his arm. "Stop it. You messed up, so what? It doesn't change that you saved my life, or that you rescued me in the very beginning. If it weren't for you the Autobots would never have even known about me and I would've never been happy like I am now. You think you're the worst thing to happen to me, but you're one of the best."

Hotrod smiled faintly, but he didn't look convinced. He downed the rest of his energon and put the cube down on the bench to rest his hand on mine. "A movie later sounds good."

Relief flooded me as he got up, putting his empty cube in the recycle bin. He turned and looked at me. I could tell that the worst of his gloom had lifted, even though his outward appearance hadn't changed. He nodded to me and left the rec. hall.

I sipped at my cube, amazed. That had gone remarkably well, better than I could've expected.

* * *

I made my way to the sickbay a little later out of boredom. Ratchet and Perceptor were there as usual, along with Dr. Peyton, who was talking to a soldier as he sat on a human-sized exam table. She seemed like a nice lady. Ratchet got along with her, anyway.

Ratchet saw me and rubbed his hands together with what I interpreted as anticipation. "Bravura, excellent! I've been meaning to ask you to come by!"

"Yes, Perceptor told me," I said, crossing the room.

"Care to have a seat on the exam table?" He gestured to the table I'd woken up on that first day in my Cybertronian body. I swallowed my mixed feelings about this particular table and climbed up, using a set of rungs probably there specifically for shorties like me.

Devices began popping out of Ratchet's hands and wrists and I watched as he began pointing them at me. "Have you been having any difficulties? Coordination, system malfunctions, weakness, pain?"

I shook my head. "I've felt great, especially since you put me on the regular grade."

Ratchet made a grinding hum in his throat. "Ah, regular grade? When did I do that?"

_Uh oh, Mirage!_ "Ah… I thought you said you wanted me to try it the day after I woke up, so I've been on it ever since. By the way, I know I have solar panels pretty much built in, am I ever going to get to use them instead of using up so fuel? I know it's a pain in the neck to make."

Ratchet looked annoyed, until I asked about the solar panels. "The problem there lies in the safety measures of getting you outside. You've no alt mode, and no weapons. You probably don't even know how to mask your signature, do you?"

I shook my head. Mirage had tried teaching me, since it was sort of his specialty, but I was just no good at it.

"You see the problem?" He asked. "Lay down, please, I'd like to get a full diagnostic. You don't know how your systems are supposed to act, they need a looking over."

I did as he asked, getting a sense of déjà vu as I stared up at the ceiling, the first thing my new optics had ever taken in, along with Hotrod's face.

I jerked when Ratchet touched my chest. He froze, looking at me warily. "I can't run a systems check without opening you up. I'm a medical professional, Bravura."

I nodded, straining to control myself. I didn't want my chest open again, but this was Ratchet. The doctor.

He touched me again. His fingers reached under a plate and I felt something release, then my chest opened, covering Ratchet in a bluish white glow.

"Hmm. You're still displaying both male and female characteristics…" He leaned closer, a hand on his chin.

"Huh?" I crank my neck up, trying to get a look, but I couldn't see much.

"Oh, yes, we didn't explain that to you. You're outward appearance is that of a femme, probably a product of your psyche imprinting on your spark. However, your spark is made from Hotrod's, so it is in its essence male, though it seems to be trying its hardest to seem female." He smiled. "You must identify strongly with your sex."

"Ah… yes?"

"Of course… In terms of reproduction, I would guess that you're unable to carry a sparkling." I tensed, and Ratchet shook his head. "Oh, I'm not implying that you'll be trying to breed any time soon! Simply that if you ever do, you might do well to… ah, not get your hopes up."

I nodded, forcing myself to relax, even when he reached into my chest. I felt something click, and out of nowhere I felt a rush through my system much like when Skywarp had interfaced with me. There was a difference, though. Ratchet wasn't stroking through my system, targeting sensitive areas. He was methodically checking through my core, avoiding stimulating me at all.

Even so, my vents let out an involuntary sigh of relief when he detached and straightened up, closing my chest with another click.

"Everything's shipshape, young lady. That regular grade's still a little much for your circuits, maybe switch to low grade every other time you fuel up, alright? Physically you're barely past being a youngling. You just don't need all that energon, especially since you don't use up much fuel on an alt mode."

I sat up, dangling my legs off the edge of the table. "Speaking of alt modes, Ratchet…"

Ratchet folded his arms and gave me a stern look. "Stop right there. I don't like the idea of you running around looking for an alt mode, as vulnerable as you are."

I sighed, twiddling my thumbs. "I thought you'd say that."

His expression softened and he patted my shoulder. "You'll get one, maybe in a few months. Maybe we'll have Sam drive something up for you to scan when the time comes? Don't get the idea in your head that you're getting an alt mode any time soon, but you might start looking for something to fit your size, something small. Generally we Autobots pick native-friendly modes, but you can pick whatever you feel is appropriate, of course."

I nodded. "All done, doc?"

"Yes, but come back if anything, even something little, goes wrong."

I hopped off the bench, having no trouble staying upright this time around. My time with Mirage was paying off.

"I will. Thanks, Ratchet."

He nodded and went to speak to Perceptor, so I headed on out into the hall to look for something to do.

It didn't take me long to realize how much I'd relied on Mirage to keep busy. There wasn't much for a loner to do in the base, so I headed back to the rec. hall to watch some TV. It was still midmorning and there wouldn't be anything on, but at least there wouldn't be very many people.

* * *

A couple of hours later I was watching Days of Our Lives, practically in recharge. I'd shoved the couches aside, and was lying on my side, head propped up in one hand.

"Oh Marlena, you know you can't trust Stefano!" I mumbled.

"Yeah, you can't trust anybody around here."

I lazily twisted to look at the source. "Oh. You again." It was Zeke. "Don't you have a job to do?"

"Lunch time. I heard your name is Bravura."

My logic processors suddenly screeched to a halt, then spun out of control. _He remembers! He knows! How could he know? He doesn't know anything! Just ask him! String him on!_

"Yes. If you wanted to know you should've asked."

"That's just it, I didn't want to know. I heard some people talking about you. I know what you did."

_I didn't do anything. What does he think I did?!_ "And what would that be?"

"You killed that girl! There was a girl named Bravura here a month ago, and the last time anybody saw her she was sick out of _nowhere_. Then that Phillips lady disappeared. You were pissed she had your name, and you hated that the Phillips chick was the Colonel's daughter so you offed them both!"

_He thinks I killed me? Oh. Ohhhh. Ok, think, Bravura._

"I don't know who this Phillips person is. As far as the Bravura 'girl' goes… You don't recognize me, Zeke?" I smiled in what I hope he would see as a playful way.

He started when I said his name, like I'd shocked him with a cattle prod. "How do you know my name?"

"We've already met. You were talking to my hologram a few weeks ago. I was visiting the base before I decided to move in. That's all."

He crossed his arms, a vein pulsing in his forehead. "Why didn't you just come here yourself?"

"Do you really think it'd be safe for a femme like me to go running around Nevada? There isn't exactly much cover, and I _am_ a neutral. That means I don't fight."

His eyes narrowed. "Prove you're that girl."

"The last time you saw me we were watching Williams fight. You called me Bravo. I had to leave because my hologram was starting to malfunction. I sent it to the sick bay for the Autobot medic to look at, but it wasn't salvageable."

"Why'd almost every single robot in the base take off right after that?"

_Crap! Ahh… Uh… _"They thought something was wrong with me, since my hologram shorted out at a bad time. So they went to find me."

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't a real chick?!" He looked pissed.

"You didn't ask." I looked back to the TV, trying to buy some time to calm down before my vents started working overtime.

He cursed, and then walked away. I sat up and left the rec. hall as soon as I felt like I wasn't being stared at, then took off down the hall, headed for the upper deck. _That was close, you have to be more careful, _my logic processors warned me. _You can't pull that on Colonel Dicer. You'd better hope those two don't ever get to chatting._

When I got to the upper deck I went and sat in front of the glass. I could access the Internet up here, so I settled in. I felt a little pitiful. I couldn't think of anything to do, so I just waited for Hotrod to wake up. I'd gone from avoiding the mech at all costs to counting on him to brighten up my day, practically within minutes of seeing him. Must be a record.


	37. Miscommunication

Brav's watching a story about a guy who had chest pain, thought he had cancer, surprise! You've got a baby tree in there! Makes my lungs hurt just thinking about it… Speaking of medical junk, be sure to keep an eye on the swine flu. Wash you hands often, don't touch your face, and try not to cough all over people if you're sick. Stay home. Be healthy, kiddies :)

* * *

I was watching an incredibly disturbing clip from the news when I heard the clank of metal feet coming up the stairs. I turned to look, though my sensors could tell that it was Hotrod. I smiled, logging off the Internet and beckoning for him to come sit next to me.

"Did you have a nice recharge?" I hoped so, it was past 6 in the evening. I'd been on the Internet much, much too long.

He settled next to me, nodding. "Yes."

I nodded uncomfortably, and we watched the scenery for a while.

"Hotrod?" I leaned over and touched his hand. "We're good, right?"

He looked down at our hands, then up at me. "If you say we are, we are." He didn't say it in a snotty or inflammatory way, just with complete honesty in his voice.

"Then we're good."

He nodded, and then lifted my hand, turning it over. He traced my palm, and much like every time I'd wrestled with Mirage, I was amazed at how soft his metal felt when every little contact made a soft clink or scratching sound.

"I have something to tell you," he murmured.

I scooted a little closer so I wouldn't have to lean so far while he held my hand. "What's that?"

"You know how Perceptor and I helped save your memories and personality?"

"Yeah, Ratchet told me that the first day."

"Um… I was the one who carried them while your body was developing. I had to encode everything so it would read into your empty memory processors. I… saw all of your memories. All of them, even the ones you couldn't remember before."

I raised my optics to his, not sure how to feel. "You… oh. I didn't know that." I was suddenly nervous. He knew that I'd asked Skywarp to execute another human being.

He must've seen my guilt in my face, because he clasped my hand in his much larger ones. "I saw everything, even the things you were ashamed of."

I wanted to dig myself a hole and never come out. "Are you trying to say you hate me?"

He smiled and shook his head. "Of course not. I may have seen those memories, but I felt what you were feeling, too. I would've done the same thing. You don't even have to explain, I already understand."

"Ok." I looked back out the window, suddenly highly aware of how close I'd scooted myself to the Vanquish.

"So… what've you been doing all this time?" He asked, shifting innocently so that the space between us decreased just a little a more.

"Well, spending time with Mirage mostly. We play a lot of games, run around, scare the living daylights out of soldiers… You know, ever since they got here, I can barely remember this place is supposed to be Autobot _City_. It's just a base."

"Someday we hope it will be more of a city. We'll build on top of this place, if we ever get the chance." Hotrod didn't seem to plan on releasing my hand any time soon.

I was getting uncomfortable sitting so close to the red mech. It wasn't that it was unpleasant to be near him, more the opposite. It felt too nice.

"When are you getting an alt mode?" He asked conversationally.

"Ratchet says I can in a few months," I grumbled, faintly bitter. Being cooped up in this sterile place for that long was going to be tough.

"Wow. That's… that just sucks."

I laughed and unconsciously leaned towards him, surprising myself when my shoulder touched his arm. To my even greater surprise, I couldn't bring myself to pull away again. I mentally sighed. _You can't keep doing this_, my logic processors chided. _You either love him or you don't. You can't play with him like this. And what about Skywarp? You keep thinking you have to be the one to mend the rift, but you see this Autobot for two minutes and you forget all about it._

I leaned away unwillingly, and I could tell Hotrod was disappointed by the way his shoulders dropped. Just a little, I wouldn't have noticed in my old body.

"What will you choose?" he continued on as if nothing had happened. I started, thinking he was reading my mind, and realized he was talking about the alt mode.

"I don't know. Maybe a little Geo or a Mini Cooper."

He snorted. "You don't want to pick a Geo. Come on, you can choose whatever you want! Why not something flashy and fun?"

"Like what? I'm kind of on the small side, in case you didn't notice. Not much comes in the mini department that I would describe as both flashy and fun."

He looked down at me, and I could see he had his own idea. I suddenly got an image from him of a sleek foreign car with weird doors.

"What's that?" I asked, trying to seem only vaguely interested.

"It's called a Marussia. There aren't many of them, they're still in the concept stage."

I logged back onto the Internet and looked it up for myself. Seconds later I chuckled. "You _would_ pick out something like this! It's a mini on crack."

"Yeah, but you'd look really damn good in it."

"I'd look like you."

"Like I said, damn good."

We both burst out laughing, and somewhere in the midst of it he put his arm over my shoulders. I tried to ignore my nervousness. "I didn't know you were so vain!"

"Oh, every mech's got a little vanity stored away. Even Ratchet picked a _yellow_ ambulance. To really make my point, though, Optimus has flames."

"I see you're point. But how would I get my hands on one to scan it? They're concept cars."

"Well, you see, I know for a fact there's one in California, on a Hollywood set for some big movie."

"Oh, only just a few hundred miles away. No biggy for me or anything."

He squeezed my lightly. "Bee and I have been e-mailing about it, and he and Mikaela thought of something."

I looked up at him. "Ratchet said to wait, Hotrod."

He grinned as much as a mech can. "When have I ever followed the rules exactly? You _need_ an alt, and we _want_ to help you."

"No, I don't _need_ an alt down here in the City," I sighed. "Just… it would be cool. But I'm not saying I'll pick the… Marussia? What kind of name is that anyway?"

"It's just another silly human name. That's not the important part. Look at it!"

He sent me another picture, the one I'd already been eying from my own search, and I nodded in defeat.

"Atta girl! You've always had a weakness for good looking cars." He said with a grin, giving me a squeeze. "Now, how about that movie?"

I was vaguely disturbed by him saying I'd 'always' had a weakness for nice cars. He'd seen all of my memories, even the ones I didn't remember. How was that fair?

* * *

Hotrod had wrangled up the movie projector we'd once used to watch the Notebook. There was a small library for us to choose from now, instead of bootlegging a copy like we'd done to watch the romance. I let Hotrod pick, and he came up with Alien Vs. Predator.

He was watching an alien wreak havoc. We'd been sitting casually, but by now he was leaning forward, one hand gripping my knee almost too tightly.

"Bam! Haha, that's why you _duck, _smartaft! Look at that, it has ACID blood!"

I giggled. The Vanquish had seemed perfectly happy watching the Notebook, but I could tell that action was his style, especially when he crowed as a Predator got offed.

Several soldiers in white tanks had pulled up chairs to watch with us. Thankfully Zeke was not among them. At first they'd been put out by Hotrod's very vocal viewing habits, but soon enough most of them actually joined in, and together they screamed advice and criticism to the victims as they were picked off.

I didn't really get into it until the woman and the Predator teamed up. It was only vaguely reminiscent of my own situation, but close enough.

She was eye to eye and shoulder to shoulder with an alien that would've barely blinked at killing her before, both fighting for their lives. I was optic to optic with a whole new species, trying to find a way to work things out with a mech who had very limited concerns for my old species, and trying to control my feelings for yet another who was maybe a little _too_ forgiving.

Most of the other soldiers had already seen the ending to the movie, but they still had a good laugh when Hotrod flipped, screaming, "Holy- Did you see??? It's got the face fingers! It's gonna be a super Alien! They've gotta kill it now! Wait, what? Credits? They're just leaving it there? What in Pit? That's the worst ending I have ever seen!"

It was getting a little late for the guys, most of them had to be up early. They dispersed quickly, and I did my best to placate the fuming Autobot.

"I think they did a Christmas one too, maybe that one will show them killing it?" I honestly had no idea, I'd never seen the latest one, but the idea had Hotrod nodding.

"Right, of course. It's just to keep us coming, right? What is that called? A cliff jumper? Funny, I know I guy name Cliffjumper.

"It's actually called a cliffhanger. How'd your friend get a name like Cliffjumper?"

Hotrod grinned, leaning back, his bulk much too close to me for comfort. "Not everybody takes to steering an alt mode right off the bat. Let's just say, sometimes they forget how to turn."

"And he just rolled right off a cliff?"

"More like blasted of a cliff in the exact opposite direction of the way he was supposed to be going."

I laughed, but I wondered if I'd be that way someday. Hopefully I wouldn't earn any embarrassing nicknames in the process.

We sat in silence for some time. I was sitting up and he had reclined, lounging back on one elbow, putting us at more or less the same level. He was just barely touching me, and the longer I sat there with him on the soft, hard concrete, the easier it was to ignore my logical side and just be with my Guardian. I mused at the size difference. He was around ten feet taller than me, standing, but somehow that didn't seem to be a deal breaker in their culture. It certainly didn't seem to deter Skywarp, who was probably more like 20 feet taller.

We sat in silence for a long time, both highly aware of the other, but afraid to speak for fear of ruining the companionship we'd managed to put back together. At least that's why _I_ was quiet. I didn't notice at first, but I'd slowly leaned into the bigger mech, and he'd tilted his head towards me, giving us the look of an intimate couple who'd overcome something but still couldn't find the words to comfort each other.

"Bravura," he whispered, optics not quite looking at me. "You don't have to choose me. I'd never make you do something you didn't want to… but please. Please don't choose the Decepticon. Anyone but a Decepticon."

My chest felt tighter, but I reached up and touched his face, getting a sense of déjà as my fingers brushed his face. "I'll find a way to make everything work out."

He didn't seem satisfied with my answer. He straightened up a little, looking down at me. He took my hand from his face and held it. I felt like a child next to him.

"You can't choose him. He's evil, he's killed so many innocent people that if you knew you wouldn't even be able to _look_ at him much less let him _touch_ you! Do you know why they call them Seekers? They would seek out their targets, and they were good at it. They always found what they were looking for, and their orders the last time were to kill all of the femmes. If you had changed before the Allspark was destroyed he would've killed you. It would have as easy for him as stepping on an insect."

"I'm not a real femme, Hotrod. I'm in between."

"You look like a femme, you were raised female. You can't help what makes up your spark."

I smiled to myself. He would make a good transgender spokesman. "Ratchet says I can't reproduce. I wouldn't be a threat to their plans. Not that it matters now."

Hotrod looked at me sharply. I could see him thinking it: _Why did you ask Ratchet about _that?

I was surprised when he took a completely separate track. "You mean we can't… I mean, you can't ever have sparklings?"

"Ah… that's right." I shifted slightly so that I didn't have to look at him anymore. "That's ok, I've never been that crazy about kids anyway."

He nodded, a pained look crossing his face.

I clenched my fists and rose to my feet, ungraceful and jerky. "Well, it's getting late and I really should be recharging. I've got another busy day tomorrow, you know."

"Doing what?" He got up to, and then crossed his arms.

"Whatever the hell I want, Hotrod. None of your business!" I felt hideously childish, but the fact that he'd taken for granted some sort of relationship between us enough to plan having kids just took it too far.

I stalked away, relieved when I didn't hear him following. He probably noticed I turned the wrong way for the sleeping quarters but I didn't care. I was heading for the upper deck. I was going to e-mail Mirage and beg him to come back, frag Hotrod and his beauty sleep. Frag his stupid alt mode idea and frag his plans.

I stomped up to the upper deck, my feet pounding more loudly than usual. I snatched up a small picnic style table that had been placed up here for the humans and flung it as hard as I could against the stone wall of the deck. The metal table made a satisfying boom and screech as it bounced off and then slid across the natural rock of the floor. I half ran to the table and gave it a swift kick, feeling my foot dent it and getting a sharp pain of my own as I sent the table on another short flight.

"That's not going to fix anything." Said a voice just behind me. I spun so quickly that I went off-kilter for the first time in days and almost fell, catching myself before I went down. As I straightened up I realized Prowl was standing behind me, hands slack at his sides instead of crossed over his chest in disapproval.

"Sorry. I know. I just… needed an outlet."

Prowl nodded. "I understand, but please don't destroy anything else. If you need an outlet I'll give you a gun and let you loose in the shooting range."

I smiled weakly and shrugged. "I think that would be a bad idea. I feel better already, anyway."

Prowl glanced down at my foot and gestured slightly. "You cut an energon line."

I followed his gaze and I gasped. A faintly glowing blue liquid was trickling from the complicated supports that made up my foot and pooling on the stone floor. "What is that?!"

Prowl looked at me quizzically. "It's your energon. It both acts as coolant and releases the energon you ingest to your systems. You've never seen it before?"

I shook my head. As much trouble and Mirage and I had gotten into, I'd never gotten hurt. "Is it serious?"

"Not really, but it will leak for a while if nobody closes it. How would you like a lesson in field repairs?"

I nodded weakly, unable to decide between staring at him and staring at my foot. "Will it hurt?"

"It will be a twinge, like getting a hard pinch. Sit down."

I sat, and he knelt in front of me. He lifted up my foot with one hand and I watched as two of his fingers turned into a wicked looking little tool. "Watch closely," he said calmly. "You don't actually have the equipment to do this, but you might some day. It doesn't do any good to be squeamish about it."

His little tool sparked white, then he reached in and touched it to the source of my energon leak. It didn't technically hurt, but a sharp pinch was a fairly accurate description. I leaned in to watch as he delicately applied little touches from his sparking hand tool. Bit by bit the leak closed up, and he leaned back, giving me a rare smile. "There, all done."

He surprised me by sitting down completely rather than getting up, so I just stayed where I was and watched.

"You know, Jazz used to act the same way about energon line repairs. As tough as he was in a fight, he hated the feeling of line repairs. He said it reminded him of getting bitten by a retro-rat."

"Jazz?"

He looked at me as if were surprised. "I guess you haven't heard much about him… He was of the first five Autobots here. He died taking on Megatron in Mission City."

He'd died long before I'd entered the picture. "He must have been pretty brave to take on Megatron."

"A core of platinum. We had a lot of missions together, a lot of close calls. I never thought I'd see him go… I wish I'd-" He paused, looking at me with a little embarrassment. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok, I know how it feels to lose the people you care about. Sometimes you just want to talk about it."

Prowl nodded, looking towards the glass wall. "We were very close. We had a spark bond," he murmured, reaching up to his chest with one hand, placing it where his spark would be. "I felt it when he went, but I didn't really believe it until… Optimus gave me the news."

"A spark bond? Like, you were together?"

"Probably not the way you're thinking. We shared a special connection. We relied on each other for strength and support."

"What's it like, having a spark bond?" I asked, gingerly touching my repaired energon line to avoid looking at the strategist.

"You'll find out, someday. Maybe sooner than later, from what I'm gathering between you and Mirage."

I jerked, causing a sharp sting when I jounced the cooling line. "Mirage?" I asked, incredulous. "We're just friends."

"He spends all of his time with you. He made a special request to Optimus to be the one to watch over you in the next few months. He acts like a youngling around you. I've known Mirage for a long time, and he's never acted quite like this. He's always been a free spirit, a little unsure about the cause, but loyal. But he seems truly happy when he's with you."

I laughed nervously and shook my head. "We're just friends. He just likes being able to goof off instead of work."

"You think he likes spending all of his time below ground? When you've known the vastness of space, a hole in the dirt tends to weigh heavily on one's spark."

I looked down. "It's not like that," I insisted. "He's just a really great friend."

Prowl smiled knowingly and rose up slowly. "Whatever happens, I hope you keep the temper in check."

I nodded sulkily and watched him leave. I did _not_ have a temper, frag it!

_Yes you do, _my logic processors chirped.

"Shut up!" I screamed into the empty room. "Nobody asked you, piece of junk computer!" I leapt to my feet and walked quickly to the glass wall, leaning heavily on it and staring at the wide-open landscape. I opened up my Internet connection, but instead of opening my e-mail to contact Mirage, I sent a short request to Bumblebee.


	38. Quiet Confrontation

Hmm. You guys... hmm. I got over a hundred clicks on the last chapter in 24 hours, and only 3 reviews. Either the same 3 people are coming back an awful lot to check for updates or you guys aren't reviewing. I don't mean to say that I MUST have them, but it is nice to see if people liked reading, or even if they didn't. Flame if you want, or just gimme a smiley face. It pleases me. Thanks to Cybernetic Mango, whitedino, and Starswoop for being lovely :)

* * *

I woke up to a light touch on my shoulder. I jerked out of recharge, my optics flickering in surprise. I was sitting upright, leaning sideways against the glass of the upper deck. It was still dark out. I turned to look at who had woken me

Hotrod crouched there, looking sheepish. I scowled without thinking. "Yes?"

"You never went back to your room, so I came to check on you."

"Spying on me, now?' I grumbled, getting up and moving to go, but I jerked to a halt when he grabbed my arm. I wrenched it angrily, thinking he'd just let go, but he didn't.

"We need to talk," he said, a fierceness creeping into his voice that he rarely used around me. He bodily pushed my back against the glass, not violently, but hard enough to remind me that I was much smaller and weaker. I crushed a glimmer of fear as it sparked to life. He was big, but he wouldn't hurt me…

He leaned closer to me, still towering over me, even thought he was on his knees. "I appreciate better than anyone what you've been through. I have lived through the worst of it with you in crystal clarity. I felt what it was like, Bravura. I also know that you haven't been this petty since you were in middle school. Why?" He shook me just a little, enough to make the air catch in my vents. I couldn't answer.

He waited, then sighed and continued. "You act like the world just ended when you lost your human body, but every mech here knows you have more than you ever did as a human. You have an incredible lifespan, you can attach any equipment to your own body and use it whenever you want it, you can transform into alien technology. You're possibly the only Cybertronian left in the universe who even _looks_ like a femme. But you throw fits and use Mirage to keep you happy no matter what it's doing to him, what it's doing to _me."_

I tried to look away, but he reached up and made me look at him. "I don't know why you've starting acting like a teenager, but it's time it stops. You need to make up your mind, you can't keep playing all three of us like this."

"All three of you? Look, I have a responsibility to stay on Skywarp's good side, but that's it! There is no 'three of you.'"

"Have you been so self-absorbed that you can't even see what's right in front of you? Mirage would do anything for you! You've got him wrapped around your little finger. All you have to do is flash those optics and he bends over backwards."

If my arms had been free I would've slapped him. "It's not LIKE THAT! We're friends! Ok? Friends! He cares about me and I care about him but he doesn't expect ANYTHING more from me, unlike you! You make plans about _Us_ before I even know there IS an Us! Optimus told me to stay away from relationships, and he was right. I don't need you! I'm not a delicate squishy little human anymore! The only things I have to be afraid of are mechs like YOU."

He released me as if I'd stung him. I pushed off against the glass, getting right into his face. "I'm not obligated to choose you, or the _Seeker_, or anyone. I raised my wrist, the Decepticon emblem still glinting there. "I'm not afraid of them," I hissed. "Skywarp's done as much for me as you ever did."

He shuddered, and suddenly his fist was flashing at my face. He stopped himself, but not fast enough to keep me from flinching back against the glass with a resonating clash. His fist shivered inches from me, then dropped. "You have no idea who they are," he growled to me, looking at his hand with disgust. "No idea what they stand for."

"And what you do you stand for?" I said, trying to cover up the cracking in my vocal processors. I had gone too far. He'd nearly knocked me out for it.

He heard the fear in my voice, despite my efforts to hide it. "I protect things of value from them." His voice had returned to its usual softness.

"I don't need your protection."

"Yes, you do. I hope you never have to learn how much you need it," he whispered. He stared at me for a long time, maybe waiting for me to say something, but I couldn't give him anything. I didn't want him to hear how upset I was.

"Slag it all, I love you. Is it so hard to just love me back?"

My vocal processors made a strangled grinding sound, and suddenly he was pulling me to him. I resisted weakly, but my spark wouldn't let me run. I didn't really want to be comforted, but his arms encircled me and his head rested on mine, robbing me of my resolve. My body made a strange hiccupping sound, and he squeezed me a little tighter.

"Hotrod, I d–hic!- don't think this is –hic!- I don't think this –hic!hic!-" I realized that this was sort of like crying, but not like the sobbing I'd done when I'd first changed. My vocal processors were locking and releasing, giving off the clicking sound. It wasn't painful, but it was preventing my protests.

"Shh," he whispered, rubbing my shoulder. "I know, it's hard. I shouldn't have tried to hit you, I'm sorry. Shh." Suddenly he lifted me up, cradling me like an infant. He stood and walked to the junction of the walls, where the glass ended and the rock wall began, and sat against the rock with a creak of joints and a soft whir of electrical components, holding me up to his shoulder.

My logic processors were having a field day pointing out how contradictory I was being, letting him hold me like this. The rest of me just curled against him, shaking with hiccups every now and then. Half of me wanted to run away as fast as I could, but the other, weaker half, wouldn't budge. I could practically feel his spark through his chest, and it soothed my own confused heart.

Eventually my throat calmed, locking up only occasionally. I didn't try to get away from my Guardian, but I knew I should. It would be just another complication in the big mess I'd created.

I was angled so that I was facing the open window, so I stared out at the moon, which was still low in the sky. It was waxing, about three quarters full. I watched it until it had risen up enough to be out of my view, and shortly after that Hotrod's arms slackened, letting me rest on his lap, but still holding me. I looked up and his eyes were dim. He was tired, and he needed the recharge.

I considered trying to sneak away, but I doubted I could do it without waking him up. I sighed and let my head rest against him, willing myself to fall asleep.

* * *

I woke up when something jostled me in my recharge. I gasped and flailed, wincing when my hand struck a metal chest. I suddenly remembered where I was. The sun was just beginning to shine, and Hotrod was looking down at me soberly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," he said quietly.

I shook my head, laying back against him and sighing. "Don't worry about it. This is just like old times, huh?"

Hotrod nodded. "Except now you can't fit between my joints like a sparkling. I have to say I prefer you this way."

"Nothing's changed, you know," I said, trying to muffle my voice against him.

"I know." The resignation in that voice weighed heavily on my conscience.

I sat up slowly and slid off of his lap. He let me go, but I could tell he didn't want to. I stood up, looking the mech over. My spark hurt, a strange sensation. It pulled towards him, like it wanted me to go back. He must've felt it too, because he reached up to his chest much like Prowl had the night before.

"What is that?" I asked, touching my own chest where my spark would be. "Why does it hurt…?"

Hotrod looked surprised. "You feel that too?"

I nodded. "It started after I got up."

"I've been feeling it ever since you came online."

I crossed my arms. "What does it mean?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. It's not a spark bond, we'd feel each other. Maybe… something like a twin bond? We should probably ask Ratchet."

"Yeah. Jeeze, you've been putting up with this all along?"

Hotrod nodded, getting up. "It's not so bad after a while."

I shook my head; military men. I took his hand, and to my surprise the pain in my chest eased slightly. "Weird," I mumbled, then looked up at him. "I might not be ready for anything romantic between us, but I do care about you, Roddy."

"Since when do you call me Roddy?" He asked, smiling. We were both looking into the past then, remembering when things were much less complicated. I released his hand and started walking to the stairs.

"Let's get some energon, I'm feeling low."

Hotrod followed obediently, his footsteps louder and less frequent than my own. I stopped sharply just at the top of the stairs, surprising the Vanquish, who almost tripped over me.

"What's wrong?" He was leaning over me, one hand braced against the frame of the stairs to keep from falling.

"Bumblebee e-mailed me back," I said vaguely, skimming over it in my mind's eye. "Oh wow," I mumbled. "Today, that's… soon."

"What's soon?"

I put together a quick response for Bee before I went below, where my Internet connection would be cut off. "He said Mikaela is picking me up at sundown. She's going to drive something for me to ride in, and then we're going to go looking for an alt mode."

"You don't need to look, you're getting the Marussia right?"

I sent my e-mail to Bee then continued down the stairs. Hotrod righted himself and followed after me.

"Well?" He wheedled. "If not that one, what else?"

"Don't you think the Marussia would be a little conspicuous, being a concept car and everything? Maybe I should pick an actual disguise, instead of an instant give-away."

"But it's so pneumatic!"

I gave him a weird look. "Newhatic?"

"Sexy."

"Oh. Yeah, but seriously, the danger factor of going that far is way up there, and Mikaela and I will have to go alone."

"Hey, what? You're _not_ going alone!"

"Yes, we are. You and Bee can't come with us. If Optimus finds out you guys helped me deliberately disobey Ratchet you'll be in deep."

Hotrod reached out and touched my shoulder as me reached the bottom of the stairs and entered the hallway. _You don't have any weapons. Your armor is barely enough to protect you from a human bullet much less getting hit by another car or a plasma shot. You don't know field repair basics, you don't know stealth procedure, you probably can't even mask your signature! You need us to come with you!_

_I'm not a baby, Hotrod. I know how my own country works, and I can bet you Mikaela does too, if Bee and Sam trust her. We will be ok. _I tried to escape his touch, but he'd have none of it.

_I don't like it. At least take Bee with you. They'd never know. He's never here anyway. He does whatever he wants. _Hotrod was doing a good job looking perfectly calm on the outside.

_He can't come, he's taking Sam on a date._

_You're more important than some stupid date_!

I wheeled on Hotrod, reaching as high as I could to poke him in the chest. _You'd be singing a different tune it if was _your_ date!_

His shoulders drooped. _I don't get to go on dates. My date doesn't want to… uh, date me. You humans use the same word for too many different things._

I smiled, relaxing a little. _You humans? You mean those humans, right._

_You're little and squishy to the core._

"Hey, I resent that!" I burst out loud. A soldier jumped away from me fearfully, expecting some kind of horrible prank, probably. "Sorry," I called after him.

A few minutes later we were leaning against the wall, sipping from cubes of energon.

"What do you want to do today?" Hotrod asked conversationally.

"I was thinking maybe getting my Decepticon mark sanded off, finally. I'm sure some of these soldiers must have noticed by now."

"They have. Optimus had to claim it was from a brief stint as a hostage you suffered before your arrival here on Earth."

"Oh my, what a poor little femme I am." I downed the rest of my energon and got up quickly, tossing the cube into the recycle bin. "I'll meet you later, k? Maybe we'll watch another movie this afternoon."

Hotrod nodded from his seat on the bench, and I scampered out, headed for the medical bay, my energon level high and my spirits higher.

* * *

Getting the emblem sanded off was more painful than getting the actual tattoo. I'd whined, but Ratchet had just told me to suck it up and he would be done soon. After a few minutes he finished the major grinding and started buffing and polishing the now slightly dull spot on my wrist guard. It was almost as bright a silver as the rest of my body.

"There we are. That will soon shine up again, once the alloys heal over. I'm glad we got that over with!"

I nodded. It was nice to have it gone. "I have another question, doc."

"What's that?"

"Hotrod and I… our sparks hurt when we aren't close. Mine just started doing it last night when I fell asleep next to him on the upper deck," I rushed, trying to make it perfectly clear that I hadn't spent the night in his bunk. "His has been doing it since I woke up the first day. What's wrong with us?"

Ratchet reached up and tapped his temple thoughtfully. "Are you aware of each other's feelings or presence?"

I shook my head. "No, it just hurts. And it gets better when we're close, especially touching." I was a little embarrassed to reveal how close Hotrod and I had been lately.

"How odd… Would you mind laying back so I can get a look at your spark?"

I did so without complaint, and tried not to flinch when he opened my chest. He leaned in with his little tools. I could feel him poking around.

"Odd. I don't see any signs of a spark bond, though you pulse emissions are a little erratic. Perhaps a result of being separated from the mother spark? Or should I say father spark… Have you and Hotrod reconciled your differences in the time he's been back?"

"A little," I said indefinitely.

"It could be you let down an emotional block without being aware that it ever existed, and now your sparks are both pained at being split. They may feel incomplete, especially yours, since it's still quite small. I'm sure it will fade with time."

"So it doesn't mean I have to… bond with him or anything?"

Ratchet looked at me oddly. "No, why would you think something like that?"

"I don't know, Prowl talking about Jazz last night… But that's not really why. Just wondering. "

"You're not trying to bond with Hotrod, are you?"

"No!" I exclaimed, surprising the both of us. "Ah, no. Just curious."

Ratchet nodded suspiciously. "Alright then. Is there anything else you need?"

I shook my head and hopped off the exam table. "Thanks again Ratchet."

A moment later as I walked down the hall I realized it'd been a while since I'd gone to see Skywarp. I slowed to a standstill, casting out with my sensors. I finally found Prowl, not too far away. I went to go ask him to take me to see the Seeker.

* * *

Didja catch the Brave New World nod? I'm looking for an excuse to use a quote from The Wasteland by Eliot, but it's gonna be a bit :)

Be sure to go to my profile page and check out my poll: What do you think Brav's alt mode should be? If nobody gives me any input I'm makin her a dumba$$ pinto. Serrsly.


	39. Frenzy's Calling Card

I should bully you guys for reviews more often! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and/or voted, I really appreciate it! The poll's still open so if you want to put your two cents in, hop to it! You've got another chapter or so before I make up my mind :)

* * *

On the way to the lower deck, I decided to pump Prowl for a little information.

"How do you keep the City safe, Prowl?"

He looked down at me. "In what way do you mean?"

"Liiike… How do you know if anybody's coming? Do you use special radar, video cameras?"

"We have powerful signature detectors. Tourists do come here occasionally, and we can't be going on high alert every time one comes by."

"So it's looking for Decepticons only? Like those mines you used to slow down the Constructicons."

"It's similar, yes." He nodded to the guard, who let us in, and we started down the stairs.

"So… does an alarm go off? If you detect a Decepticon, I mean."

"Yes. If that ever happens I suggest you go to your bunk and stay there until you're given the all clear."

"Ok." I smiled to myself. They used sensors that wouldn't detect me when I left. Mikaela could come by and pick me up without them ever knowing what happened.

When we entered the brig I felt a sense of trepidation, but I couldn't quite peg the source. Between almost getting punched in the face for talking the Seeker up and having a vague fear of the Seeker himself, I was a mess. I worked around it and came to the bars of his cell smiling.

"Hi, Skywarp."

He was off his berth and hunched by the bars instantly. "I missed you," he said faintly after a breathless moment.

I tilted my head a little. Something didn't seem right about him. "What's wrong? Do you need something?"

He shook his head, his crimson optics duller than usual. "To feel the wind," he mumbled. "Just need to fly. One minute in the air, that's all I want."

I reached through the bars without thinking, stroking his face. "It's ok, Warp. I know how you can fly again."

His eyes brightened and he looked hopeful, leaning his head into my hand. "How?"

"Just tell Optimus you agree to the treaty."

He jerked away, shaking his head. "No. Not worth it."

"But just think, the sun on your wings. Your thrusters going at full blast. The wind holding you up alone with the clouds."

"Please, don't," he sighed. "You don't understand, Bravura. If you're just here to give me this again please go."

I slowly let my arm fall back to my side of the bars. "I just want to see you in the sun again." I glanced at Prowl as inconspicuously as I could and leaned forward until my face was just inches from the bars, lowering my voice. "You could lie to them, Warp."

He leaned a little closer to me, the plates around his eyes widening. His voice barely reached my ears. "You want me freed so badly you'd ask me to lie? What about the war?"

"You already have your own problems with hurting people. I know you don't want to cause trouble, and I know you can't make promises, but I trust you to do the right thing." My logic processors were close to shorting out. Maybe it was my utter confusion about Hotrod, or my nervousness about leaving the City. Maybe I just wanted to do something bad. Whatever the case, I was doing it.

"If… if you won't think less of me for it, I will."

I was touched by the devotion, but a part of me was conniving. If he was released today and then I disappeared, they'd blame him. No, best to make him hold off.

"Just wait one more day, ok Warp?" I reached back through the bars and touched his face again. A sharp awareness had returned to his optics, and I could see that he was suspicious.

"Why? If it's ok with you, why not today?"

"I have some plans for today, and I don't want you to take the fall."

A growling noise came from deep in his chest, and he smiled wickedly. "What are you planning? Pushing someone down some stairs?"

"Huh? No, nothing like that. I'm just… well, you'll see." I patted his face gently and then withdrew to cross my arms. "I know we can work things out, with the Autobots, big guy." I said loudly. "I'll do my best to help things go smoothly."

He nodded. "I'm glad you finally understand." He finally raised his voice to something Prowl would be able to make out. "Maybe today… can you just stay with me for a little while? Can we talk?"

I looked at Prowl, and he nodded slowly. I could tell he didn't like whatever secret exchange we'd had, but he hadn't interrupted.

I smiled at the Decepticon behind the bars. "What's on your mind?"

"Why did you sand off your tattoo?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "It was kind of dangerous in a base run by humans with a grudge. I don't want to upset my hosts." When he shrugged I was a bit shocked; I'd expected outrage.

"Fine. You'll have plenty of emblems when you join the Decepticons."

I flinched. "Um, what? I'm not planning on picking sides. I'm not interested in fighting a war."

He shook his head. "You won't have to fight. It's just for convenience, so my people don't shoot you."

"Look, I plan on staying here in the base. I don't want to leave yet, and I don't want to wear anybody's badge, ok?"

Skywarp had such a smug look on his face, it just screamed _Oh, you'll wear it and you'll like it,_ that I nearly flew at the bars in outrage. My frame shivered, and my logic processors were giving me garbles.

"D-don't treat me-me like a CHILD!"

I could see Prowl straighten up from his relaxed pose against the wall. Skywarp leaned back a little, alarmed

"What's wrong with you?"

"No-nothing. Nothing! I'm f-f-fine!"

I wasn't fine. My systems were screaming at each other, none of my processors were working right. My servos were competing for dominance when they should be working together. I was terrified and full of anger.

I backed away from the bars, bending over and grabbing my head. I rarely touched my head, and I'd never seen it. The shape of it was foreign, furthering my electronic panic.

I heard Prowl rushing to me and I flung out one hand, urging him to stay away. I backed into a wall and sank down, trying to get a hold of my computers, but I had no idea what I was doing.

"Stay right there, Bravura. I'm getting Ratchet." I heard pounding footsteps, the door slid open, and then the room was silent except for the loud electronic sounds coming from my head and chest.

I could feel Skywarp watching me, but thankfully he kept quiet. I didn't know if I could deal with another abrasive remark.

A few tortuous minutes passed. My situation didn't improve, but it didn't get worse either. I just couldn't make sense of anything. Not even my vents could figure out when to intake, and I was slowly getting warmer.

I glanced up when I heard footsteps cautiously approach me. "Bravura?" Ratchet knelt slowly, watching for a reaction.

I tried to answer, but a rolling trill escaped my throat instead of words. I slouched, clamping both hands over my mouth. Ridiculous.

"Now, now, none of that. I'm the medic, let me look."

"She could talk a minute ago. Sounded like something was on the fritz." Prowl added from a little further away.

"You haven't been interfacing with anyone have you?" Ratchet asked, gesturing for me to lie down.

I shook my head as I lay down. Except for that one time with Skywarp… I was fairly sure Ratchet knew about that. I couldn't exactly share that information for the moment, however, so I just waited for Ratchet to do his thing. He opened my chest and immediately plugged in. I could barely feel his presence in my own mash-up of system malfunctions.

"Slag it all!" He exclaimed. "Prowl, come over here please. I need a feedback interrupter. She's got a virus. Who taught you how to get online without a firewall, young lady?"

I shook my head. I didn't think Cybertronians could get regular viruses, so I hadn't worried about it. Mirage hadn't seemed concerned when he'd shown me how.

"It's not the worst I've seen, but it's wreaking havoc on her. She has absolutely no system protection… I supposed that's my fault, I should have expected it." I watched as he plugged into Prowl's wrist.

After a few seconds I could feel Ratchet pushing through my circuitry. It was hard to decide what it felt like when he managed to purge each infected system, but it was kind of close to ice water swirling in and then warming to a cool chill.

It took over a half an hour for him to clear out my system, and another fifteen minutes to establish firewalls. I couldn't feel them unless I looked for them.

Ratchet ran one final system check before unplugging from Prowl and me. He clicked my chest shut and sighed. "There, that shouldn't happen again. I'm wondering how you managed to find a Cybertronian virus on the Internet."

I sat up and tried my voice; it worked. "I don't know. I didn't go anywhere weird."

"Were you instant messaging strangers, or e-mailing?"

"I e-mailed Bumblebee a few times, but he wouldn't send me a virus."

Ratchet rubbed his face with a scraping sound. "You younglings have got to learn Internet safety. E-mail's absolutely unreliable. If there were any viruses floating on the mainframe they could've latched on and followed the message to you."

"What about Bee? Could it happen to him too?"

"Bee should be fine, I set up his security suite myself." Ratchet rose to his feet, Prowl following moments after. I glanced at Skywarp apologetically, but he was expressionless. I rose with a creak and waved to him, and he nodded. I couldn't tell if he was angry, or if he just didn't want to show any weakness in front of the mechs, but I let it go and followed the two Autobots out.

* * *

Hotrod almost blew a fuse when he found out. "Why didn't anybody tell me? I should have been there! Was it that glitch Skywarp? I'll blow his head off!"

Ratchet had been forced to physically stop the Vanquish from running down the hall to the brig. "The prisoner's not responsible. She picked up a virus from the Internet, something he hasn't had access to. I doubt he has the experience for that kind of thing, either. It's probably Frenzy, laying traps for new arrivals on the off chance they don't follow procedure."

Hotrod shook the ambulance's hand off, looking at me. "Are you ok, Bravura?"

I nodded. I realized I'd crossed my arms ever since Ratchet and I had met the red mech in the hall. Some subconscious sign that I didn't feel safe around the Vanquish? Wonderful.

Ratchet gave us a goodbye and left Hotrod and me to stare at each other in the hallway.

"Why were you seeing him, anyway?" He asked, sounding a little hurt.

"The same reason I went down there last time. To try to talk him into agreeing to the treaty, and to make sure he was ok." I walked past the mech, though I had no idea where to go.

"Why do you care if he's ok?" Hotrod asked snippily as he followed me. "He's just a moronic Decepticon."

I controlled myself. I wanted to turn around and do my best to slap him, but I doubted I could reach his face without his cooperation. "That moronic Decepticon is the reason I look the way I do, Hotrod, which sounds like a blessing, the way you describe it."

"But it was an accident!"

"It's still his handy work. Don't forget I'd be a dead human if it weren't for him. I owe him a lot." I silently prayed that when I came back from my trip with Mikaela Hotrod would be gone, or at least Mirage would be back. I needed my friend badly.

After a few aimless minutes spent stomping around and through crowds of disgruntled soldiers Hotrod caught on that I wasn't going anywhere.

"Where are you going Bravura?"

"I have absolutely no idea. Maybe I'm just going to go recharge a while."

"But you recharged all night…"

"Then I got a virus. I'm just tired, ok!" I was lying. I didn't feel tired, but it was the only place I could think of that he wouldn't follow me.

"Fine… I'll walk you there." The mech sped up to be level with me in the hallway, and after a few minutes and an awkward goodbye I was safely in my room. I'd figured out how to turn on the lights a while ago, so I switched them on and sat on my berth.

I was beginning to understand all of those women in abusive relationships who felt like there was no way out. Granted Hotrod hadn't actually hit me, and he'd seemed to regret even coming close, but it didn't change the fact that he'd almost taken his anger out on me. I didn't know anything about Cybertronian culture, but here on Earth that was a bad sign.

In any other situation I'd have been gone in a second… But I couldn't leave the base. My only other choice was the Decepticon army, and even with Skywarp and possibly Thundercracker's protection I probably wouldn't be safe. I needed to be with my own kind, however difficult it was.

I decided to try to familiarize myself with my systems a little better, There were packages of processes and information I'd never bothered to investigate, and after my stint with the virus I'd realized how little I knew about my body. I might be taking classes from Ratchet soon to fix that.

I spent the better part of two hours going through files and programs. The most interesting thing to happen was when I opened a program and my body began to jerk around, things flipping in ways they shouldn't. I stopped it as quickly as it started and ran the reversal, relieved as my body returned to normal. For a long time after that I'd just leaned against the wall on by berth, afraid to try anything else.

Until I saw a file that was titled _Phillips_. I cautiously opened the file, and was shocked with what I found. Independent memory files, years worth. I cautiously opened one.

_"Camilla, dear, take out the trash, would you? Anya isn't here to do it today, her son is sick." My mother was standing in my doorway dressed in a red cocktail dress._

_"Oh, I get it. You and dad go to a fancy party and I get to take out the trash." I got up and went to do as I was asked, however. _

_"It's a benefit, darling. You're too young for those, but we'll take you to all of them in a few years. We take you to lots of our parties, you know. Just last month you came with us to the Scott's New Years party, wasn't that fun?"_

_"Their son got drunk and threw up on my shoes."_

_"Oh, well, we bought you new ones, didn't we? You take things so seriously, dear!" She glanced at a dainty gold watch on her wrist. "Oh, we're running late. Come here, give me a kiss."_

_I obediently went to my mother and kissed her cheek as she bent down, then hugged her carefully so as not to wrinkle her dress. She smiled and smoothed my hair, then left._

I shivered on my berth, closing the memory. My mother… my memories were here. Why hadn't Hotrod told me about them?! They'd been here all along, and I'd thought they were somehow lost or out of reach!

I reached back into the file and opened another, preparing myself for a long day.

* * *

Eight o'clock came much too quickly. I was watching my second date with my first boyfriend when my alarm went off. I closed the file with a sigh… They'd be there later. The sun would be down in less than an hour, and I wanted to down some energon before I left.

To my surprise I found Optimus and Ironhide sitting in the rec. hall drinking energon. I hadn't ever seen Ironhide in his mech form, but Mirage had shown me an image from his memory. The two big mechs were laughing over something, so I went unnoticed for a moment as I crossed to the cooler.

"Is that our resident trouble magnet?" the Topkick asked in amusement. "Awfully little for all the mess she's caused."

"You know she can't help it, Ironhide. She's just a human child, no matter how old she looks."

I looked up at them and smiled as I closed the cooler. "Um… hello Optimus Prime." I looked to Ironhide, approaching their bench. "Hi, I'm Bravura."

Ironhide snorted. "I know that, kid,"

I deflated a little, but I did catch Optimus elbowing his weapon's specialist discreetly. Ironhide growled. "I'm Ironhide. Nice to meet you and all that."

I smiled and sat down on the bench a safe distance from the two mechs, Optimus between us. The red and blue mech looked at me curiously for a while, but Ironhide said something to him and they started back up on whatever they'd been talking about. I tried not to listen.

I took my time with my energon. I was drinking from a bigger cube than usual and I didn't want to put myself in an energon high just before Mikaela arrived. At about 8:30 I finished and got up, tossing the cube into the bin. Optimus caught my eye as I left and nodded. I nodded back nervously and scurried out of there. I made a quick estimate and decided by the time I reached the door out the sun would just be disappearing past the horizon.

On my way I silently prayed the soldiers stationed at the entrance didn't have orders to keep me in. They had to reset the locking mechanism on my way out or the whole City would be on alert.

I searched with my scanners, relieved when no mech was between the exit and me, not even Hotrod. As I turned the corner to the exit bay several soldiers looked at me lazily, but I actually recognized most of them by their faces, if not their names.

"I'm going to get some fresh air," I said to one awkwardly. "Can one of you lock the door behind me?"

One of the soldiers shrugged and got up, punching the code to open the door for me. I breathed a sigh of relief as the heavy door slide open with a groan, then set myself walking up the long tunnel. I could see light glowing just around a bend, and I broke into a run. I wanted to feel the wind.

I broke out into onto the road leading up the mesa, skidding to a halt. Stars were just starting to come out, a few wispy clouds streaking the sky to the north. The westernmost sky was tangerine orange, and I watched it breathlessly, a gentle breeze whistling around me. I backed against the warm rock wall, unsure what to do. Was Mikaela waiting at the top, or was she still on her way? I didn't have to wait long.

Bright headlights came slowly around the corner. They hit my optics, stinging, and I covered my face. I prayed it was Mikaela. As it got closer I realized it was a U-haul truck. It pulled up next to me, and the door popped open. A beautiful girl leaned out, smiling.

"Hi, I'm Mikaela! Bravura, right?" I nodded and she continued. "I've heard so much about you!"

I smiled and bent down. "Sam and Bee have told me a lot about you, too. Thanks for coming all this way for me."

She shook her head, flashing those perfect white teeth. "It's nothing, I've been looking for something crazy to do for a while now." She looked past me down the tunnel. "Not to cut things short, but maybe we should get going? Getting caught could definitely ruin our plans."

I nodded and stood up, moving to the back of the U-haul. It looked a little small, but I'd fit. I just hoped it could handle my weight.

Mikaela unlocked the back and slid the door up. It was a little dirty and it would be dark, but it was a ride.

I climbed in, freezing when the vehicle groaned. I glanced back at Mikaela nervously. "I won't break it will I?"

She shook her head. "We got the heavy duty suspension. You're fine."

I crawled into the back, praying that Mikaela was right. We'd have some explaining to do if I ruined a U-haul right outside the City.

She pulled down the door, but I didn't hear her lock it. After a minute the engine started, and then we were moving.

I was going to see the world again. I was getting an alt mode.


	40. Action

The chapter title is serious. Action, lots of it. It's possible that I'm moving quickly, but if you're like me you're ready for something rough and tough :) Updates are most likely going to slow down after today, I'm chest deep in finals, and literally as soon as I get done with my last final I'll be working full time. I'll try not to disappoint :\

See if you can spot T.S. Eliot in there :)

* * *

There wasn't much to look at except what my eyes could light up in the back of the truck, so first I hooked into my GPS and watched where we were going. West, towards California. There were a few decent cities on the way, so I was fairly confident we'd find something.

I had been fiddling on the Internet for a while when I felt the truck slow down and pull over. I tensed, then sent a radio burst to the front of the car. _Why are we stopping?_

The door opened and slammed shut, then Mikaela lifted the sliding back door a little. I was laying on my back with my legs cranked up to the ceiling, and I had to lean my head back to look at her upside down, but she didn't seem to notice. "I need to get some gas. We're almost in South Lake Tahoe. I'll find a parking garage and we'll see what you can find, k?" She smiled again and I nodded.

She rolled the door down most of the way, just a few inches, letting fluorescent light in from what I assumed was a gas station. She'd finished filling up and gone in to pay when I heard a weird noise from the front of the car. A rhythmic thumping, and a faint noise, like someone talking under a mountain of blankets. I could barely hear it over the sound of the semis and truck drivers outside.

I listened hard, and then kicked at the back of the cab. I sent another radio burst into the cab. _If you're breaking into the car I'd think twice._

The weird noise increased, and I started to get concerned. Something wasn't right.

_Is there someone up there? If… if you need help, kick twice._

**THUD. THUD.**

"What the hell…" I hissed. The gas station was crawling with people. I'd never be able to check without someone noticing. But then… why would Mikaela have someone tied up in the cab? My logic processors were practically itching with possibilities. If I was wrong, we'd just have to haul aft out of here. If I was right… I'd think about that later.

I would do it fast, like ripping off a band-aid. I righted myself, took a deep intake, then stuck my fingers in the gap under the door and yanked it up fast. I was out in the blinding fluorescent light and ripping the cab door open in seconds. I couldn't see anything. I'd been wrong. But…

**MMMPH!**

I could hear screams and exclamations from normal people behind me, as well as tires skidding, but I didn't care. I'd been right. I forced the driver's seat chair forward, and saw the source of the noise. Mikaela, bound and gagged, stuffed in the tiny space between the chair and the back of the cab.

"Oh my God, Mikaela…" I reached in and pulled her out carefully, doing my best to pull out her gag, which was made of duct tape and a washrag, without hurting her. "What happened? I just saw you!"

"Frenzy!" She choked out, gasping for air.

My energon ran cold. Frenzy. It was a trap.

I set her on the ground, back to me, trying to peel back the duct tape around her wrists. I'd begun to get really frustrated when suddenly one of my fingers shivered and twitched and suddenly presented a razor sharp edge. I used it without thinking, slicing her hands free. She peeled off the tape and ripped the duct tape from her hair. I winced. Tough girl.

"What are you doing, Bravura?"

I looked up, and saw the other Mikaela standing on the other side of the U-haul. She couldn't see the second Mikaela.

I didn't even think. I grabbed the Mikaela I'd rescued and cradled her to my chest as delicately as I could. She barely weighed anything. I turned and took off as fast as I could. I had no idea where I was going.

I heard a hideous shriek behind me, and spared a glance back. Even in that brief moment, I could see Mikaela's form flicker and disappear, a spindly silver Frenzy in her place. And he was coming.

"No, no, no!" I tore into the concrete as fast as I could, but I could tell by the chittering and snarling behind me that I wasn't losing him. No, if anything, he was gaining. "Are you ok?" I yelled to the human in my arms, and she gave me a muffled yes.

I charged into a busy four-lane road and almost got hit by a van. It screeched to a stop, and I crossed the small main street and dove into a dark alley, thankful for my GPS. I could hear people screaming behind me, and a crash as Frenzy probably caused havoc during his own crossing. I wished futilely that he'd been squished, but I knew better. I could feel him coming now, he wasn't bothering to hide.

Think, think, THINK! _Alt mode's your best chance. Find something, now._ I swept my sensors as far as I could, but nothing was small enough. A bunch of damn SUVs. I just kept running and scanning, doing my best to keep the distance between the insane little Decepticon and me.

I'd been forced to burst into another busy street when I heard a ripping roar overhead. I shuddered with fear, running as hard as I could down the side walk, dodging dressed up clubbers and couples. Thundercracker had arrived.

I'd almost made it into another alley where the jet wouldn't fit when Frenzy got a hold of me. Somehow that little beast tripped me up and I flew forward, curling my body to protect Mikaela. I felt the concrete crack under my weight, but I managed to roll onto my back and kicked at the monster attached to my foot.

He was cackling and gibbering, trying to pull something out of my leg. I let Mikaela go a little roughly then reached down, trying to snatch the Decepticon off, but he evaded me, even pausing long enough to laugh at me. That's when Thundercracker landed in the middle of the street, crushing a car in the process.

_People are dying!_ It was true, I heard a short scream cut off as the Raptor crossed the road to the music of screeching tires and human shrieks. It wasn't until I spared a look from the little rat on my foot that I realized Thundercracker wasn't here. No, this wasn't Thundercracker at all.

He was jet black or dark grey in the poor lighting, and there was something sinister about him. Thundercracker wasn't sinister. There was only one other Seeker I could think of, and the thought made me want to scream.

"Starscream," I choked.

The huge mech smiled viciously. "You've heard of me. I'm not surprised. I probably offlined lots of your little friends, femme."

I looked sharply at Frenzy. Starscream didn't know. What had Frenzy been doing, if Starscream thought I was a regular femme?

I looked for Mikaela. She was gone. I breathed a sigh of relief, then decided to face my bigger problem. "What do you want? I didn't do anything to you!"

Starscream hissed. "No, but you will."

I choked. _He thinks you're a real femme. He thinks you're the only one_. Oh God. No. Nonono.

He saw the realization in my optics, but I knew he didn't see fear. No. I wouldn't be afraid of that again. I'd die this time. Never again.

I rose to my feet, Frenzy still busily hacking at my ankles. I tried to scrape him off ineffectually, backing away from the Seeker. "You'll have to kill me first," I growled as menacingly as I could.

The Seeker laughed uproariously, and while he was busy I saw a flash in the corner of my optic. I looked down, and suddenly my leg got knocked out from under me by a burst of water. Frenzy was blasted down the street was a blood-curdling howl. I frantically looked for the source and saw Mikaela barely controlling a fire hose from between the buildings. She turned the hose on Starscream with much less effectiveness.

He stopped laughing and pointed a whistling gun at her. I threw myself between them without thinking, shielding her and knocking the hose out of her hands. I expected an explosion, but nothing happened. Instead, I was yanked off the ground. Starscream lifted me up to his eye level.

"You need to learn fear, little femme. I will show you fear in a handful of dust."

He leveled his gun where Mikaela had been, but she was gone, the hose shooting water violently across the mostly empty street. Sirens were approaching fast.

I would not let this happen again.

My hands changed, much like they had back at the gas station. Suddenly I had two huge scalpels instead of ten fingers. I gasped, and then let my instincts take over. I started hacking as hard as I could into Starscream's claws.

He dropped me with a roar, and I shot into the alleyway where Mikaela had been. I couldn't see her anywhere.

"Mikaela!" I screamed. I couldn't let her die today. Not because of me. "MIKAELA!"

_Psst!_ "Over here!" I heard another hiss, and looked, finding her crouched over a lock to a large industrial looking bay door. "Get this lock!"

My hands changed back into fingers, and I obliged. Starscream was trying to reach between the buildings, but he was just too big. Frenzy was nowhere to be seen.

The padlock snapped easily in my hands, and I forced the door open. I didn't know why we were going in here, I thought we should be running… But she seemed to know what she was doing.I looked at her blankly.

She gestured wildly into the dark building. "Well?! Find something! It's luxury storage, look!" She pointed fiercely at a sign. **Malcolm's Superior Temperature Controlled Storage**. I immediately cast out my scanners, and to my utter relief something gave me the green light. I blindly accepted the car, and as soon as it was completely in my system I initiated the transformation protocol.

I felt suddenly tired and my body produced plates I hadn't had before. Complex equipment formed in seconds, and I had a dizzying sense of vertigo as I flew towards the concrete. Rubbery wheels I definitely had not had before caught me, bouncing me off the concrete. I felt bulky, stiff, almost immobile. I tried to move legs I no longer had, and my engine revved.

_Ooo. _For once, my logic processors had very little to say.

Something yanked my side open, and I could feel a soft light weight in the driver's seat. The pull and click of a seat belt. I explored the feeling, and discovered I could see into my interior through various tiny 'eyes.'

"Well, let's GO!" She screamed. Starscream was really going at it now, literally bashing into the buildings.

I tried, but I had no idea what to do. No idea at all. I revved my engine again, but nothing happened.

"I don't know how!" I admitted.

She sighed, and suddenly she was pulling things, pressing down on my pedals, and to my utter shock my body shot forward through the alley just as Starscream's claws came down. He missed by inches.

"Left, LEFT!" I screamed, watching my GPS. Everything else was a dead end. She barley got us through the turn, going so fast I would've fainted if I'd been able to.

Together we navigated the alleys as long as we could, but eventually we had to enter onto regular relatively open road. We peeled onto a two lane street and she gunned my engine. The feeling was thrilling, and if I hadn't been so terrified I would've loved it. Still, I was much too terrified.

"Do we have any backup coming?" Mikaela asked anxiously. Starscream hadn't seen us yet, but he would soon.

I didn't know what to do. There was nobody I could reach by the methods I knew. They were too far away. All I had was the emergency frequency, and everyone would hear me. Even the bad guys. _You don't have much choice._

I found my resolve, and opened the frequency just as Starscream blasted low over us. I could feel the heat from his thrusters.

_This is the neutral Bravura with the human Mikaela. South Lake Tahoe, California. Found Starscream for you, need help right now. I'm a car. He's right on top of us, holy sh-_ I cut of the transmission as Starscream slammed into the concrete right in front of us and Mikaela did her best to spin us around him. We just barely made it, but not before he slapped my back end, fishtailing us.

Bless Mikaela, she was an amazing driver. She got us turned in the right direction and whipping away from the Seeker faster than I could've thought. A bright explosion lifted the concrete just behind us, and I realized he meant business now.

_I TOLD YOU!_ my emergency frequency lit up with a familiar tenor voice. _I told you that you needed help!_

_Yes, you were right, but that's not exactly- _ I grunted out loud as Mikaela hit a pothole.

"Sorry!" she exclaimed.

_It's not helping us right now! What do I do?!_

_Hide!_ Several transmissions chimed to me.

_You'll never see the little femme again, Autobots._ Starscream.

"Mikaela," I said calmly into the interior. "I have to ditch you. When he catches me he'll kill you. He doesn't care about you, he wants me."

"You don't know how to drive!" She argued. "You'll never stand a chance!"

I'd actually figured out a lot of things by paying attention to her. I wouldn't have the moves, but I'd have the speed. I could run.

Without waiting for her agreement I hit the brakes in a dark part of town. As soon as I was going slow enough not to kill her I popped her seatbelt loose and opened my door, spinning to send her flying out the door. I mentally winced when she hit the concrete, but I knew she'd be ok. I slammed my door shut and revved my engine, then sped back the way I'd come.

_Lure him away. He'll forget about her._

So I dug in to do just that. Run away from her as fast I could, and try not to die.

_Hiding's no good, can't cover my signature,_ I sent through the frequency. I had a sense of mortality right now. I was either going to die, or I was going to be taken prisoner. I wouldn't make it out of this.

I realized too late that I'd run out of protective city streets. I burst into a much more sparse part of town, where my headlights would be a dead give-away. I switched them off and tried to stay under the trees lining the sidewalk.

I had foolishly begun to think I might actually have a chance when a heard a howl behind me. Red and blue lights flashed. I looked, and my heart sank. A Saleen.

I hit the gas, hoping to outrun the Decepticon. He'd been on wheels longer than me. Even if I lucked out and turned out to be faster than him, he'd outmaneuver me.

Apparently I wasn't as good at driving as I thought. He overtook me in less than a minute, but instead of attacking me, he simply pulled ahead of me. I was dumbstruck, so much that I couldn't pull away in time to evade Frenzy when he leapt out of Barricade's window onto my hood.

_Stay with us! _his surprisingly smooth message came through our contact.

I swiveled as aggressively as I could without losing control. The little parasite stuck tight.

_Trying to help! Stay with us!_ he repeated.

_Help who? Me, or the Seeker?!_

_You. Stay with us. Let in._

He crawled to my driver's side door and banged on the glass. My logic processors weighed the options, and then made me roll down the window. He slid into the driver's seat, and without asking he managed to stretch out enough to reach the gas pedal. He grabbed the wheel, shifted my gears, and suddenly I got a lot more power out of my engine. Oh.

Together Barricade and I crept into the 130s, sticking to the sparse tree cover. Where was Starscream?

An explosion just ahead of us answered my question. Barricade was ahead, but he managed to stop before the worst of the blast and force me out of the way. Frenzy used his push to somehow drift me out enough for Barricade to slip ahead of us again, then we were pushing hard trying to make up speed.

The second time, Starscream shot the concrete right next to me. I felt my wheels lift off the ground, and the heat simmered down my pain receptors. I was flipped onto my back and then rolled heavily on my side, glass cracking in my windshield. Frenzy popped the upward facing door open and leapt out.

"T-t-transform!"

I obeyed, my body shuffling and twisting wildly until I could get up onto my own two feet. Barricade had spun around and transformed to his own mech mode without stopping first, grinding to a halt as he finished his rapid transformation. He skidded to a halt just a few feet short of sliding into me.

He looked at me sharply, Frenzy perched on my head, then his hands turned into glowing guns or cannons, something dangerous looking. He looked up into the sky, watching for Starscream to return.

He saw the Seeker before I did. He fired several molten-lava shots into the sky, then turned and grabbed me, throwing me to the ground as another explosion destroyed the street around us. He was up again instantly, firing after the Raptor.

"You can't take him alone, Barricade!" I screamed over the roar of their weapons and the jet. "We have to get out of here."

He shot into the sky, answering without looking at me. "There's no outrunning a Seeker. We either die fighting or we die running. Do you have weapons?"

"No, not the shooting kind."

"Then try not to get shot, I'm not dragging you."

I nodded, climbing to my feet while watching as the Seeker came in again. This time, instead of flying by and dogging us with a few shots, he slowed and slammed into the concrete feet first, transforming to his mech mode in an astonishingly short time.

"Stand down, Barricade," the Raptor snarled. "Give it up now and you'll only be punished. Keep on with this useless resistance and I'll destroy Frenzy, then I'll finish you."

Barricade grimly shifted slightly so that he was between the Raptor and me. _Why would he protect you?_ my logic processors asked. _He has nothing to gain from this._

_Why, Frenzy?_ I asked the tiny silver mech on my head.

_Hard to explain. You're my body. Like a sparkling, but not. Like another Frenzy with the wrong spark. Sort of a piece of me, sort of a piece of him. Can't let Starscream kill you._

His answer did nothing to clear up my confusion. Starscream was coming closer, threatening Barricade again, when suddenly for once the concrete blew up under the Seeker's feet. All three of us looked around wildly, but our ears gave us the answer. A jet blasted past us overhead in the darkness.

Starscream was just climbing to his feet again, looking absolutely murderous, when our savior flew back in, hitting the concrete in just the same way Starscream had moments ago. I saw a glint of purple, and my spark leapt into my throat.

"Skywarp," I whispered. They'd freed Skywarp. _He was the only one able to get here in time. They had to let him go or let you die._

He backed up to us, and Barricade moved forward, together creating a small barrier.

"Not you too, brother," hissed Starscream. "How can you turn on me?"

"I don't want to hurt you, Starscream. She's my femme."

Starscream growled. "I'm the High Commander! You have no authority over me! Give me the femme!" He raised his arm, a huge gun there instead of a hand.

Skywarp and Barricade crouched low. My Seeker's voice came out with a dangerous and somehow sad tone. "I can't, brother. Not this time."


	41. Uncertain Terms

You will probably have lot of unanswered questions at the end of this chapter, but the answers are coming, promise. If you wanna be sure I remember to explain some of the weirder things that happened during the fight, just review and I'll be sure to touch on it. Thanks for the support ya'll, and thanks for voting for Brav's alt mode!

3 finals down, 2 to go! *dances*

* * *

For a moment there was an eerie silence. Starscream was blocked from my view by Skywarp's broad back. The purple Seeker's fingers twitched in what looked like some kind of hand signal, and Barricade immediately slipped backwards until he was standing with me. His hand fell on my shoulder and I couldn't help but jump. Bad memories.

He began dragging me down the street and away from the Seekers. When I tried to dig my feet down and resist he simply jerked me off the ground for a moment. _When they start, we run._

_No! We're not abandoning him!_ The thought of leaving Skywarp alone was horrible; he'd done too much for me to be left behind like this.

_What, you're worried about him? You didn't ever seem to mind leaving him before!_

_It's different now. _I looked up at Barricade's perpetually snarling face, willing him to listen. _I can't leave him._

_Yes, you can. He'll be fine. They're bonded, they can't kill each other. This is a fight for dominance. There are very few mechs who can take on a Seeker at full power, and I'm not one of them. You're sure as Pit not one of them. We're going._

Skywarp and Starscream were arguing in a sharp language I couldn't understand, their voices laced with frequencies I wasn't sure even counted as 'sound.' Their feet boomed against the concrete as they began to circle each other. From this angle I could see both, and Barricade's grip tightened.

_Frenzy is staying with you. He's driving. _

If only I could trust Barricade. With a twist I slipped out of his grip and skittered away from him. I didn't care if it was true about the dominance thing. No matter what happened, I'd be there if my Seeker needed me.

_Your Seeker? Since when?_ my logic processors questioned.

Since he scared away three men in a field and took a human for a pet on a whim. After all this time, I'd finally taken something back.

"I'm staying." Frenzy beat my head like a little jackhammer as soon as I said it. Without thinking I reached up and grabbed at the pest. Remarkably, I caught the little thing.

_You would never leave Barricade if you thought he might lose. I won't leave Skywarp. You can run if you want, but I'm not coming with you._

_You're the Stupid Frenzy, _he snapped silently.

_And you're the Frenzy who's getting off of me right now!_ I yanked him off of my head. There was a screech as his claws fought for purchase, and then he was free. I flung him at Barricade before he could latch onto me again.

Barricade looked more pissed than ever as he caught his partner, but I didn't care. I focused on my hands, and they transformed into scalpels, then turned my attention back to the Seekers. The tension had reached an unbearable pitch, and I knew it would start soon.

Barricade snarled and lunged for me just as Starscream leapt at Skywarp. They met with a roar and a clash, suddenly devolving into a flurry of indistinguishable parts. Barricade didn't meet much resistance at all; I waited until the last moment, and then slid out of his way, slapping his shoulder with the flat of my scalpel to ruin his balance. He hit the concrete awkwardly, quickly leaping to his feet and turning on me.

Frenzy was missing. Where was the little monster?

"You don't understand!" Barricade cried. I could barely hear him over the noise of the Seekers, one of them smashing into a tree and breaking it like a twig.

"Then explain it!" I screamed back. "Why do you care what happens to me now?!"

"I don't!" the Saleen roared in frustration, walking towards me. "It's Frenzy. He says you're 'another Frenzy,' and he's gotten the idea that you're part of our spark bond. You're not!"

"That's right!" I yelled back, wincing when one of the Seekers made a high pitched, pained noise down the street. I hoped it wasn't Skywarp. "I have nothing to do with you. I might be the same metal as Frenzy's little chip but I am NOT Frenzy!"

"Physically you're twins. Your frame is a metallic match with his. Look, if it were up to me I'd leave you, but Frenzy wants you to come with us!"

My attention was torn from Barricade when I heard another screech. To my horror one of the Seekers had pinned the other. The one with the upper hand was dark iron gray in the starlight. I was running before I could think, and I heard Barricade give a frustrated snarl, but he didn't follow. More worried about his own skin.

Starscream was talking to Skywarp in that other language, Cybertronian. He was so absorbed in whatever he was saying that he didn't see me until it was too late. Leaping as hard as I could, I slammed into his head.

One of my hands turned back into fingers, and grabbed onto the side of his face for purchase, then slashed at his optic with my scalpel. He reared back and I only managed to make a tiny scratch in the plate of his cheek. Something connected hard with my body, and I bounced across the concrete almost instantly.

I was shocked by the violence of it. The one time I'd ever been faced with life or death, I'd been defending myself from the men in the field, and I'd avoided getting hurt. I realized I didn't stand a chance this time.

It didn't stop me from forcing myself to my feet. Skywarp had leapt into Starscream now, holding him from behind in some kind of lock.

His eyes drilled into mine. "Run!" He screamed. Starscream shifted beneath him, and I saw what was going to happen if I didn't interfere.

I dove in again, this time throwing myself into the leg Starscream was leaning all his weight into. The two top-heavy Raptors pitched forward, and it was all I could do it get away from their bulk.

I thought I'd cleared them when suddenly I jerked to a stop and slammed forward into the ground. It took one look to understand what had happened; Starscream had my leg, and Skywarp still had Starscream. The gray Seeker dragged me closer, and like lightning he snatched a better grip onto my waist. I was too scared to make a sound.

Starscream began to speak in Cybertronian again, but I could understand what he was saying now, maybe because of the contact.

"_Look what I found!"_ He squeezed me tightly, and a traitorous cry escaped my vocal processors. "_You know I always win brother. This femme will carry _my_ sparklings."_

Skywarp responded in kind, but what he was saying was still a mystery to me.

"_You're still mad about what happened? That must have been before we lost the Allspark! You hadn't even bonded that femme yet!" _Starscream shook me a little, as if he were making a point.

Skywarp deep voice lowered viciously, and the odd frequencies heightened in a beautifully strange counterpoint.

"_Fine, I'll let you have her when I get the first sparkling! Slag, have you always been this much a bleeding heart?"_

Skywarp squeezed his brother so hard they both started to give of the sounds of strains metal. Starscream struggled, bouncing me inadvertently. I could almost guess at what Skywarp snarled to his brother. _You'll never have her._

Gathering my courage into a flimsy shield, I finally spoke up. "I can't carry sparklings! If that's what this is about, it's a waste. The Autobot medic told me I that can't reproduce!"

Both of the faces swiveled to look at me, similar and yet so different. "What do you mean? You're infertile?" Starscream growled in English.

I nodded frantically. "I'm not even a real Cybertronian. I was human first!"

The grip on my waist tightened so much that I screamed.

"Impossible!"

"It's true, brother," Skywarp growled. "Remember the organic particles you played with, back before Thundercracker agreed to join the Decepticons with us? I rebuilt your machine and used it on her, and it turned her into this."

Starscream's grip suddenly loosened, and I dropped to the concrete with a clank. "Let me up, brother," he ordered icily.

Surprisingly, Skywarp released him. The purple mech edged away from his brother and put an arm between me and the other Seeker.

"Prove you're infertile, femme," Starscream commanded.

I stared at him blankly. I didn't know how to go about doing that. I looked up at Skywarp, and he nodded.

"Don't worry, he won't hurt you. Open your chassis, Bravura," the Raptor said softly.

I shuddered. Expose my spark?

"Please," I whispered. "I don't-"

Starscream cut me off with a hiss. "Open your slagging chassis, femme. Quit with the coy act, you're not that attractive." If he'd been a human, I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd spat on the ground then.

With shaking hands I reached to my chest. I fumbled for a few agonizing moments, then found the locking mechanism. I touched it just right, and my chest opened slightly. Reaching into the new opening, I pulled my chest apart, controlling my dismay.

Starscream leaned in, pushing Skywarp's arm out of the way. He got frighteningly close, but Skywarp was right. He didn't hurt me.

After a long minute, he made a frustrated sound and pulled back, climbing to his feet. "It's a freak," he growled. "A disgusting mistake, Skywarp. You should've killed it and tried again."

I closed my chest with a loud snap, and suddenly I was being lifted into the air. Skywarp held me up to his shoulder, and I crossed to it quickly. I felt foolish up there, but safe.

"I wasn't trying to make a Cybertronian out of her, I was trying to heal a wound. This was unexpected." The vibrations of Skywarp's deep voice shivered through me.

"Even so, you should destroy it. It's an abomination." Starscream was eying me in a way I didn't much like.

"Bravura's still a she, and I'm not destroying her."

"You never were very bright," the gray Raptor said with the faintest amusement.

"And you never had a girlfriend."

Starscream laughed, to my surprise, then turned away from us. "I've brought a few friends with me back to this smelly little planet. The Contructicons are working on a new underwater base. I expect to see you there at sunrise."

The Seeker suddenly leapt into the air, his thrusters roaring to life, and then he was a jet blasting away into the dark night.

We both stared after him until he was a speck in the sky. When it was clear he wasn't coming back I looked down at Skywarp from my place on his shoulder.

"Thank you," I said simply.

He looked up at me too, and suddenly I was off his shoulder and pressed tightly to his chest in what certainly seemed to me like an awkward embrace. I got my bearings, then pulled myself up his chest to be able to look up at him instead of having a close up of his wide torso.

"You know," he said, rearranging his arms to support my new perch, "if you'd told me this was your plan, I never would've allowed it."

Shaking my head, I reached up and touched his face. "You couldn't have stopped me." There was a deep crack in the armor of his forehead which I refrained from passing my fingers over. "You're hurt."

"So are you. But we're free now. We can do whatever we want, go wherever we want. We can leave this planet behind and make a whole new life somewhere they'll never find us."

I was beginning to feel like a bobble head with all the 'no's I was shaking. "I can't leave this place behind. I still love this place, and I have friends here."

Our quiet talk was cut short by the beat of helicopter blades, several sets. We both looked, and I leaned closer to Skywarp's head. "We have company. Humans?"

"Yes." He leaned down and carefully set me on the cracked concrete. The wailing sirens coming from South Lake Tahoe now seemed much closer. He stepped away from me, and transformed as I watched. When a fully functional Raptor was before me I almost expected him to fly away.

"Well? Get on!" He said urgently.

I stared. "Get _on_?" Ride a jet?

"It's not that difficult! Just lay flat and hold on tight!" One of the helicopters had reached us and blinding lights were shining down. A man was talking indistinctly into a loudspeaker. Red and blue lights were appearing at the far end of the woefully damaged street.

Bracing myself for a rough ride, I clambered up onto my Seeker's back, then lay flat atop him, latching onto the sharply slanted leading edge of his wings, just behind the cockpit. "If I fall, you'll catch me, right?"

"I'll always be there to catch you. Hang on!"

With a roaring explosion of sound we went from a full stop to a racing, wind whipping speed. The nearest helicopter fell back, then made as if to follow, but we were already too far away. I felt my fingers slipping, so I clamped down to the point I was sure it must have been hurting him. I would apologize later.

_This is the harder part,_ the Seeker sent to me. _Don't be afraid, and definitely don't let go._

_What are you doing?_

_We're warping,_ he said, chuckling out loud. _Remember, don't let go. On three._

I ducked my head against him, cutting off my optics to try to prevent any more fear than I was already experiencing. Heights and I did not mix well.

_1… 2…_

I thought about begging him to change his mind, but before I'd even finished the sentence in my head he sent _3!_

For a brief moment things were chillingly cold, but not enough to threaten to ice my systems. _Skywarp!_ I sent frantically. _Where are we?_

In response there was a ripping sound, and then the air felt warm. Wind that I hadn't noticed was missing now whipped around us again.

_Why don't you see for yourself? _Skywarp sent.

He began a slow spiral down, but I couldn't really tell where we were. It wasn't until we landed and I thought to access my GPS that I knew where we were.

"Autobot City?" I slid off of his back and he transformed back to mech mode. "I thought… I didn't think you'd ever want to come back here."

We were at the top of the mesa. The City's alarms must be going wild right about now, and realized I'd never gotten the chance to ask Frenzy how he'd gotten so close to the base.

Now that things had calmed down, all of my cracks, scratches, scuffs, and gashes came to life with a vengeance. I hurt all over, especially in places I hadn't had before my trip. Most of the damage was superficial, only affecting my alt mode, but there were a few energon leaks and other red lights flashing in my mind's eye. Skywarp couldn't be any better.

I leaned against my Seeker's leg as bright lights swept to the top of the mesa. Humans in cars, as well as the Autobots, spilled out and pinned us to the edge of the mesa. Neither of us moved, and then Optimus appeared in his alt mode. He transformed, stepping over the human vehicles, which carried men with guns big and small.

The others transformed too, Prowl, Ratchet and Mirage. Ironhide and had probably gone back to Lennox already, but Hotrod was missing. I realized with a start that we'd abandoned Mikaela in South Lake Tahoe.

"Thank you, Skywarp." Optimus began. "My CMO can see to both your damage. Bravura… we'll talk about this later." With that he nodded to one of the humans. "You can return to your posts, they aren't the enemy." The Autobot leader turned away, stepping gingerly around and over vehicles, then transformed and went back down the mesa's road.

The two of us waited until the majority of the humans' vehicles had managed to get turned around and head back down to the City. Prowl and Ratchet followed shortly after. Ratchet looked especially upset with me. Mirage stayed where he was, staring.

Giving Skywarp's leg a quick pat, I left his side and walked quickly to Mirage. The foot Frenzy had been picking around in hurt vaguely, but it didn't impede my movements.

Mirage started towards me, and when we met halfway he lifted me up and swept me off my feet, spinning me around, just as he had the first time he'd seen me in my new body.

"You look good in blue," he said, hugging me tightly. He let me down gently.

I looked down at myself and laughed. I was mostly covered in bright and horribly scratched blue paint.

Shrugging, I looked back up to my friend. "Am I in big trouble?"

Mirage nodded, but he was smiling. "Optimus hasn't said anything, but Ratchet said he's gonna give you a pair of extra large audials to make sure you actually hear him when he tells you not to do something."

Self-consciously I rubbed the side of my head and was only a little surprised that is was now even more oddly shaped than before.

"Do I look… weird, Mirage?"

He shook his head firmly. "You look nice and solid now. You were an awful lot like that crazy little Decepticon before. You look like a real Autobot," he said with a smile.

Too bad I had already thrown in my lot with a Decepticon.

I turned to Skywarp, who was standing alone on the edge of the mesa. I motioned for him to come to me, and he did, though reluctantly. The three of us walked down the mesa's thin road to get back into the base.

When we entered the base several guns immediately centered on Skywarp. I deliberately got too close to one of the men, easily at least three feet taller than the poor soldier, and glared him down while Mirage called them off. I made sure they all got a hard stare from me before I followed the two mechs into the base.

* * *

Ratchet took care of me first. Skywarp had a lot of damage, but nothing any more serious than mine, and he refused to get repaired before me.

I could tell the Autobot medic was mad at me, but he went about soldering things and repairing energon lines with his usual precision.

When I mentioned the pain in my leg where Frenzy had been digging, Ratchet removed the plate covering the lower part of my shin to see the damage.

The medic clucked quietly. His tools whistled to life and he began poking around, giving me uncomfortable little jolts and stings. "He broke some tension cords, as well as an energon line. Looks like he took a chunk out of your frame too. He could've totally ruined you leg. In fact, it's odd that he didn't. Frenzy usually goes right for the primary suspension cables. It has the same effect as hamstringing a human, and it's rather difficult to repair."

"Barricade said Frenzy actually wanted me to come along with them. Something about matching metals."

"Hmm… It is likely that you are metallically identical with Frenzy. I hadn't ever considered the repercussions. It's improbable that Frenzy would decide to adopt you, but I can't think of any other excuse for that kind of behavior." Ratchet replaced my shin plate, looking thoughtful.

"Barricade still hates me just as much as ever, so I doubt there's anything to worry about. Am I good, doc?" I swung my legs

"No, I would say you're exceedingly bad, running off and getting yourself smashed to pieces for a silly alt mode. But you're physically fine, except for the windshield and the side windows. I'm sure Mirage will show you how to rebuild all of your glass."

Mirage nodded from his place against the wall. I hopped down from the table, smiling at the medic as sweetly as I could. Ratchet went to Skywarp, who was waiting on the other exam table looking extremely uncomfortable.

I smiled to the Seeker, who didn't quite smile back, then went to lean against the wall with Mirage.

While Ratchet busied himself with the Seeker I looked up at Mirage. "So we're the blue bots on campus, huh?"

"Looks that way. What'd you end up picking?"

"A… hmm. I don't know. I didn't even see it, I just scanned it." I looked down at myself curiously. I was still scratched and scuffed, but Ratchet had said that would heal on its own.

"Well, transform and I'll look for you," Mirage suggested casually.

I nodded eagerly, then stepped away from the wall and ran the transformation protocol. It was easier the second time around, quicker and less disorienting. In a couple of seconds I was sitting with all four wheels on the ground.

Mirage stood up straight and walked around me. "Hmm…" He stopped behind me. "Ah. It says 'Lotus' in big letters, and 'Elise' in little letters."

A giggle escaped me before I could stop it. "No way! That's a really nice car!"

"Not after _you_ happened to it. You don't have any glass left that isn't cracked." Mirage reached around and wiggled his fingers in the driver's side where my glass window _used_ to be.

"You'll kindly refrain from leaving rubber streaks all over my floor," the medic called without turning around.

I transformed back, smiling to myself. "Sorry Ratchet." Mirage winked at me, and I lightly punched him in the hip. He feigned intense pain, staggering back and hunching over. Even though I knew what was coming, I still couldn't stop Mirage from suddenly leaping forward and catching me in a headlock.

I was laughing and trying to wrestle myself free when I heard Skywarp's boulders-breaking growl. Mirage let me go, and I straightened to see the Seeker sitting up, his hands clenched into fists.

"It's ok, Warp, we were just playing," I said nervously, holding up my hands. "See? I'm fine!"

The Seeker frowned at me for a long moment, then laid back on the exam table with a grumble. Ratchet cautiously returned to his work, and I looked at Mirage, shrugging with a little embarrassment.

"He's… protective."

"Yeah… maybe we can go get some energon while Ratchet fixes up your friend?" Mirage looked to Skywarp nervously.

"Yeah, that'd be good." I looked to my Seeker. "I'll be back soon, Skywarp."

He waved to me from his table, so Mirage and I headed out of the sick bay into the hallway. As soon as the door slid shut Mirage turned to me and dropped down to my level.

"Ok, what's going on? You're not… _with _him. Are you?"

"Well… I don't know, Mirage. It's hard to explain. He saved me. He fought his brother for me! He sat in the brig for over a _month_ for me! Everything good that's happened to me since I got away from Bucklin has been because of that Seeker. Even meeting you, Mirage."

"I don't like it. Do you really think his brother, _Starscream_, the Second in Command of the entire Decepticon army, will let him just stop fighting?"

"We'll find a way to stay out of it. He doesn't seem to want to deal with the war anymore. Isn't that what you all wanted?"

"I was kind of hoping he'd just sort of fly away, not take you with him!" From his voice it was clear that Mirage wasn't mad. He was… hurt?

"Oh…" I put my hand on his shoulder, trying to make him see how much I cared about him. "No matter what happens, even if I leave with him, we'll always be friends, Mirage. I'll never forget who taught me how to piss Prowl off in seven seconds or less."

The Lexus suddenly hugged me tightly. "You're just so young," he sighed. "I'm afraid you'll get hurt out there, and there won't be anyone to help you get out again."

"Well, someone's always gotten me out of trouble before," I said ruefully. "I've got to stand on my own two feet sometime. If I leave with Skywarp, he'll take care of me until I can do that."

"Why can't we take care of you until then? I know it's tough here, believe me. I wasn't always a warrior. In fact I was kind of spoiled. I had everything, and the army life was the last thing I wanted… But it's better than the alternative, Bravura."

Pushing away from him a little, I smiled. "What alternative are you talking about? We're going to fly off into the sunset, presumably."

"It's never that easy, little lady," he said sadly. He nodded his head down the hallway. "I bet you're wanting that energon right about now, huh?"

"Yeah… Mirage?"

He looked at me oddly. "Yes…?"

I hugged him tightly. "Thank you for everything."

He returned the embrace, then stood up without saying anything. The dark blue mech took my hand and tugged me in the direction of the rec. hall. He wouldn't look me in the eye.


	42. Trickery

I just finished reading a Mirage/Jazz M-rated slash by rageai called Noblesse Oblige. If you like Mirage and Jazz, the first several chaps are smut and slash free, so you might try it anyway. It lets you know when you're getting into the robosexual zone. It's totally how I imagine Mirage's childhood now, minus the slash. If you're underage, for crissakes don't read smut.

Last final in the morning! Wish me luckz, i'll need it. Hopefully working this job won't hurt the writing :\

Oh, and if you care to know, look up 'persian blue lotus elise' and that's our girl's alt mode :)

* * *

"Um, Mirage, I kind of left Mikaela at South Lake Tahoe." I handed a large energon cube to the blue mech, then got a smaller one out for myself.

"We know, she called Sam. Hotrod was scheduled for patrol, so he went to get her and take her home. He was already on the road before that, though. I think he was trying to get you. He was gone before he knew we were releasing Skywarp."

Strangely, I was pleased that Hotrod would be picking up the car-smart young woman. Maybe Hotrod would see something in Mikaela. Hopefully she would see something in him, too. The odds were probably pretty low, but I really didn't want things to go too badly when Hotrod realized I'd decided to take my chances with Skywarp.

_You're a mess_, my logic processors grumbled. _Optimus said don't choose, and what do you go doing as soon as you think you see a knight in shining armor? Chances are _high_ that this will end badly, just like Optimus said._

Ignoring my logical side, I smiled at Mirage. "So, what did you mean, you were spoiled once? You don't seem spoiled at all."

The two of us sat at the bench, and Mirage took a sip from his cube before responding. "Well," he said after some thought, "I was privileged. My family was rich, and we moved in the elite circles of society. I had the nicest everything, but I was a snob, and I didn't care about anything outside of our estate."

I couldn't help but see the similarity between us. I'd been privileged too, and from the few memories I'd accessed I had often tended towards snobbishness. "What made you change?"

"The Decepticons. I wasn't very interested in what was going on between the factions, but I had to choose. Megatron ordered The Towers where the high society lived and worked to be bombed. It's pretty clear that I didn't die that day. I chose the Autobots and it's taken a long, long time, but I've grown, I think. I feel like I understand what's important now." The Lexus was staring off into space, looking wistful.

I reached over and touched his arm, snapping him back to reality. "I know why we get along. I came from a rich family too, but since I hit my head my priorities have changed." It was ironic that my alt mode was blue; we weren't only the blue bots, but the blue bloods as well.

Mirage laughed. "Maybe that's it. I've been telling you from the start you like me best, right?" He winked, and I felt a brief jealousy at his skill. I still couldn't figure out how to turn off just one optic!

A harsh laugh escaped me before I could contain it. "You're the only friend I've got who really just wants to be my friend. Hotrod's been alone too long, and I think Skywarp misses a femme who died a long time ago… You're the only mech I can _really_ count on as a friend, you know?"

"I know," he said quietly.

His expression, a little sad and bitter under the mild mask, confused me, so I looked away awkwardly.

Minutes passed, and I finally decided to get nosey. "What's wrong, Mirage?'

His head snapped up and he looked at me, all trace of melancholy wiped away. "Nothing! I was just thinking."

It didn't seem like nothing. "What about?"

"Just about how…" He cut himself off and stared down, his hands clenching as they rest on either leg. He struggled with the words, then continued quietly. "Sometimes, you have to give up the things you want, so that you can do the right thing." He avoided my gaze at first, but then his blue optics burned into mine with an unusual intensity. "No matter how much you want it."

I reached up and rubbed my arm nervously. _He's trying to tell you that he cares about you too much to make your life any harder than it already is._ My vocal processors tightened. Of all the mechs who could've said it, it hurt the most hearing it from Mirage.

"Mirage, I-"

"It's ok, Bravura. Really." He rested his hand on mine, which was still perched on his forearm. "I want you to be happy, and if somehow that Decepticon can… Just promise you'll come back if it's not what you hoped for, ok?"

"I will." Leaning over, I wrapped my arm around his waist, close enough to hear the hum of his systems. "You're still the coolest babysitter in the galaxy."

He put his arm around me with a sigh, and we stayed that way for a long time. After a while I decided I should check on Skywarp, so I eased away from the Lexus and got to my feet, tossing the empty energon cube all the way to the recycle bin.

"I'm going to go and check on Skywarp. Will you be here all day?"

The mech nodded. "Recharging some of the time, but I'll be here."

It was surprisingly hard to smile at the dark blue mech. There was no point in wishing, but a part of me hated seeing him sacrificing his own possible happiness for mine. If things had gone differently…

_But they didn't. You_ are_ choosing Skywarp, aren't you? _Yes, I'd chosen him. I knew there was more to the Raptor, and I was determined to find the best in him.

Instead of smiling I waved goodbye, then turned away quickly and headed for the sick bay.

* * *

"What do you mean, _he's not here?!_ Where is he?" I snapped at a stoic Ratchet.

"He never agreed to the non-aggression treaty, Bravura."

"You- the brig? How can you do this to him?! He saved me, he didn't hurt anybody, and he brought me back here when we could've gone ANYWHERE else!" My voice was shrill and my hands were balled into fists. How dare they?

"Please calm down. We simply can't trust him!"

"I trust him! He's given you nothing but reasons to trust him!" Perceptor was perched at his desk as usual, but he was watching me intently. I glared at him, even though he was probably innocent, then turned on Ratchet again. "If you can't trust him, you can't trust me either. Put me in the brig with him or let him go."

"That's not necessary," the medic said impatiently. "If he's so trustworthy he'd agree to the-"

"Forget the treaty! He's already a good mech, he just can't submit to an Autobot, it's his nature. It doesn't mean he's bad! I swear, Ratchet, if you don't let him go, I'll give you a reason to put me in the brig with him."

The medic crossed his arms mockingly. "And what could you _do?_"

"I'll tell the Decepticons where you are."

Ratchet went very still, then suddenly he was lunging at me like lightning. I had already reached the door and slammed the door release, slipping out just before he grabbed me. He had to wait a few more seconds on the door as it slid open, and by that time I was already racing for the Upper Deck.

I was only halfway there, plowing through a four-way intersection in the halls when something big slammed into me from the side. I tried to free myself, but I was pinned tightly with my stomach to the concrete floor, my arms cranked behind me painfully.

"Stop this nonsense," Prowl said close to the back of my head. "What's wrong with you?"

Wriggling my shoulders, testing his grip, I only grunted. A few moments later Ratchet caught up to us.

"Prime is coming. He'll decide what to do."

Prowl pulled my up to my feet by the back of the neck, locking both of my hands together with just one of his. I yanked away halfheartedly, but his grip held firm.

Prime arrived a couple of minutes later. As soon as I realized he was coming down the hallway I started yelling. "What do you think you're doing, locking him up? Hasn't he proven he's not the enemy? Are you so caught up in your own prejudice you can't see how good he really is?"

The Autobot leader waited until he stood next to Ratchet, then crossed his arms. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this, Bravura. Your behavior is disappointing, and if what Ratchet tells me is true, you are becoming a danger to this base."

"Damn right it's true! If you let me loose without him I'll have both his brothers here and they _will_ get him out of here."

"Then we don't have much choice, do we? Ratchet, disable her transmitters, then take her to the brig, Prowl."

Ratchet moved in on me, but Prowl caught Optimus's attention. "Sir, which cell?"

"Opposite Skywarp's," Optimus said quietly as he turned away.

I growled in frustration. They were locking me up, but not the way I'd hoped when I'd taken this gamble.

* * *

Prowl was firm, but still kind when he put me into the brig. I went willingly, waiting until the energy bars hummed to life to look across the corridor at my Seeker. He was unconscious, draped awkwardly on his berth. Ratchet must have repaired him and knocked him out.

I ached to go and check on him, but of course I couldn't. Instead I sat down on the wall a few inches from the bars and tried to get comfortable, waiting for the Raptor to wake up.

* * *

A deep voice calling my name snapped me out of recharge. My optics flared to life, and looked around, disoriented.

_The brig, _my logic processors reminded me.

"Oh," I said out loud. I looked to Skywarp's cell, and he was sitting next to the bars in his cell, his red optics glowing through the energy bars. "Skywarp, are you ok?"

"What are you doing down here?" He asked, a little anger in his voice.

"They wouldn't let you go, and I didn't want you to be alone down here… So I made them lock me up, too."

"That's not the most sound plan I've ever head," he said, leaning against the wall next to his own cell bars.

"I know, I was just so upset, I wasn't thinking." I couldn't stop looking at him, amazed that I'd actually threatened to call in his brothers to free him.

"I appreciate the idea, anyway," he said with a smile. "Couldn't you have at least gotten yourself thrown into _my_ cell?"

I looked down at my lap shyly. "That's what I was hoping, but Optimus told them to put me here."

The Seeker actually sounded surprised. "You… Look, I know you've never been one hundred percent on board with being my femme because of that dirt kisser Autobot. Why the sudden… change?"

I pointed to myself and smiled. "I'm a dirt kisser too, big guy."

"No, you're gravitationally challenged. As soon as you're big enough we'll get you an alt mode with a nice set of wings."

"We'll see about that," I said with a laugh.

"You didn't answer my question," the Seeker chided gently. "Why are you down here with me?"

I shifted uncomfortably, looking back down. "I finally realized you weren't just a big, evil Decepticon." I traced the thick blue plating covering my left wrist, the one that had once sported his insignia. "I realized I cared about you."

_You mean you realized you could never be with Hotrod, _then_ you decided to care about him._

When I looked up, I was rewarded with the Seeker's relieved smile.

"I have a question, too, Skywarp," I held his gaze. "Who… who was she? The one Starscream took from you?"

Skywarp's pleased expression melted into blankness. "How do you know about her?"

"When Starscream grabbed me I could understand what he was saying. And it sounded like… you were upset about something he did to a femme you knew."

"I was… I still am." The Seeker looked away, staring up at the ceiling. "She was a neutral, like you. I'd known her for a very long time. After Megatron gave us the orders to exterminate the femmes I tried to hide her where nobody would find her. Starscream followed us through his bond with me, and… he eventually killed her."

"Eventually?" I leaned closer to the bars.

The crimson optics swept down and met mine. "He tortured her, used her. He did things, _horrible_ things that I'll never, ever let happen to you."

I shivered under the force of his stare and he looked back up to the ceiling. My internal clock read 4 am. I was still drained from producing the alt mode, but I watched him through the bars. "What's stopping Starscream or Thundercracker from finding you now?"

"It's a tug in the right direction sort of thing… You can tell which way to go, but not exactly where. When they activate those energy bars they also activate a bond disruptor. I can't feel my brothers, and they can't feel me," he grumbled, his voice pained.

"Does it… hurt? Being separated like that?" My own spark still ached dully from being separated from Hotrod, but that wasn't technically from a bond.

"It's… hard. You get used to never being alone after so long."

I nodded, though I didn't know what that was like at all.

We fell silent after that, and without meaning to I slipped back into recharge.

* * *

Someone was touching me. I yanked myself out of recharge, my hands turning into scalpels even before my optics were online. I leapt up and crossed my blades in front of me, luckily far enough away from the energy bars to keep from getting zapped. My logic processors once again reminded me where I was, and I focused on the mech who'd been touching me.

Mirage. He was crouched next the bars, frozen with his arm still outstretched.

"Oh," I said quietly. My scalpels turned back into hands.

He held a finger to his lips, gesturing behind him. I peeked around the Lexus and saw that Skywarp was recharging on the floor much like I had been. The blue mech beckoned to me, so I took his hand.

_I never thought I'd see you in the brig,_ he sent.

I shook my head. _It was a dumb move. It seemed like a good idea at the time, you know?_

_I didn't realize choosing a Seeker would bring out your crazy side. Do you understand what getting put in here means?_

I shook my head. _I guess not. I'm kind of hoping they'll just let me go when they let Skywarp go._

_Why would they let him go?_ The Lexus frowned. _He's never going to agree to that treaty, and if that's what you're counting on you'll be down here a long, long time._

_I talked to him before I ran away. He said he'd agree to it. _I looked at Mirage as seriously as I could. _Even if they keep me here when they let him go, I'm glad he knows I'm willing to sacrifice something for his sake. He deserves to feel like at least one person cares about him._

Mirage looked like he would be sick, but he didn't say anything more about it. _Well… I'll try to talk some sense into Prime, make him understand this is an intended thing. I'm sure he'll realize you didn't ever plan on giving us away to the enemy. Right?_

I nodded seriously, though I actually didn't know what I would've done if I'd made it to the upper deck. I was kind of glad Prowl had caught me.

_Ok, well… I still need a recharge, but I couldn't shut down until I knew you were ok. If they don't let you out soon I'll come visit, ok?_

_Thanks Mirage. _I squeezed his hand. _Have a nice recharge._

_You too, little lady. Try not to go crazy in here. Well, any crazier than you already are. _He winked, and then he walked down the corridor and away from my cell to wait for the guard to open the door. I looked across at Skywarp and was surprised to see his red optics online and watching me curiously.

He waited until Mirage was gone, then asked quietly, "What was that about?"

Recharge still sounded excellent, so I stretched out on the concrete floor, curling up on my side so that I could still see the Seeker. "He's going to try to talk to Prime. Are you going to," I lifted my fingers and wiggled them in the quotations gesture, "_agree_ to the non-aggression treaty soon?"

He nodded, and I smiled. "Well, at least one of us is getting out of here.

His optics narrowed. "What do you mean, one of us? If I go you're coming with me."

"Well, I'm kind of in trouble. I threatened to tell your brothers where you were if they didn't let you go or lock me up."

Skywarp suddenly burst into laughter in the quiet brig. "You're kidding!" He managed to get out between guffaws. "I was wondering what kind of bootleggers would stick a femme in the brig just because she asked nicely!"

I smiled, glad to see the Seeker happy. "That's not all, I even made a break for the upper deck to make it realistic. Prowl had to tackle me in the hallway. They cut off my comms and everything."

"Primus, you really meant business!" He'd settled to a soft chuckle, but I could see he had a new light in his optics. He felt wanted, which meant my stunt had worked. Sort of.


	43. Oh Brother

Sorry it took so long guys :) It's the longest chapter I've ever put out, if that helps ;)

* * *

"Then I painted his aft pink. Just his aft, but believe me, he had a _huge_ aft. Nobody told him for orns, and he took himself so seriously the whole time!" Skywarp chuckled. Apparently he was quite the trickster, and he had plenty of stories about the things he had done for fun. He'd been chatting away for hours, while I was only just able to keep from slipping into recharge.

He seemed so happy, happier than I'd ever seen him. His deep voice carried with it a feeling of contentment I'd never sensed from him before, and he laughed and smiled, especially when I laughed too. He had no problem cracking up at his own jokes, though, and he seemed to know I was listening even though I was sometimes too tired to respond.

I checked my internal clock and read that it was past eight in the morning. The sun had risen hours ago and Starscream would be wondering what had happened to his brother, especially since their connection had once again been severed. This made me wonder where Skywarp and I would actually _go_ once we were released from the brig.

"Skywarp?" My vocal processors ground together as I said his name. They didn't want to cooperate so I shook myself awake, sitting up. "What are we going to do? Starscream wanted you to come with him, but…"

His happy smile faded a little. "But he doesn't seem to have a very good attitude about you. I don't know, I hadn't thought about it much. You said you wanted to stay on the planet, even though it would be safer to leave."

I nodded, wishing I could go and sit with the Raptor instead of trying and failing to get a good look at him through our glowing bars.

"Some place without many people. It needs a take-off area, nice and clear, with a good view. Maybe with a hill or cliff, so we can dig out a shelter into it."

I didn't really want to leave the continent, even though Skywarp's skills made distance sort of inconsequential. If he ever had to leave me for a long time at least I could make a road trip back to the Autobot base until he could come back. I might not be willing to admit it to anybot, but I knew I wasn't quite able to fend for myself.

"Maybe Mexico? Or Canada?"

"The northernmost and southernmost countries on this continent…? Most of Canada would get cold often, which is unpleasant at best, deadly at its worst for a femme like you without any survival training. Mexico would be a better choice." If Skywarp realized I was keeping a backup plan it didn't seem to bother him.

"Whatever you think," I said with a shrug. There was a slight chance I could get out of the base without seeing Hotrod again if we made as little fuss as possible. He hadn't visited me in the brig, which either meant he hadn't returned yet or he knew I'd chosen the Seeker and preferred to take the high road, bowing out gracefully.

_You don't really believe _Hotrod_ will take this sitting down, do you? He's not like Mirage._

No, he wasn't a bit like Mirage. He'd probably go crazy and either try to hurt the Seeker or me, depending on how just how crazy he went. I'd seen that look in his optic when he'd gotten so mad he'd nearly hit me. The best choice was to try to get out before Hotrod came back.

"I think," he began with a deliberate air, "I might… really agree to the treaty. Not just lie about it."

I tried to hide how pleased I really was, but I nodded in approval. Skywarp watched me rise to my feet, and I smiled reassuringly. "How do you get somebody to come down here to talk?"

He looked at me oddly, then shrugged. "Once they came down after I tried breaking through the bars a few dozen times. Other than that, they come to bring down energon once a day around noon."

I sighed. I didn't completely understand my own anxiety, but I desperately wanted out of that base before Hotrod knew what was going on.

"How much does it hurt, getting shocked?" My fingers hovered inches from the dispassionate glow of my prison.

The Seeker glared at me. "Don't you dare. It's like getting all of your circuits hooked into a chainsaw. It goes away as soon as you let go, but it still hurts like the Pit."

"You said you did it dozens of times," I said thoughtfully, crossing my arms.

"That's different!" He argued. "I'm bigger, older. My systems can take pain better than yours. You're barely past being a youngling. I'm a warrior, I hurt for a living."

I smiled. "You're not fighting for a living anymore, right? We're living for a living."

His anger faded away and he gave me that look, the one that told me he wasn't the same mech he'd been when he'd first met me.

"What changed?" Still standing, I leaned against the wall and hugged myself.

"What do you mean, what changed?" He rolled his head and flexed his shoulders, creaking stiffly. His wings prevented him from leaning sideways against the wall, so he had to turn his head to look at me.

"When we first met you acted differently. You threatened to break my neck, if I remember right," I chuckled. "Surely it's not just my big makeover…" Tapping my chin thoughtfully, I realized he'd changed long before that. My room in the base, his unquestioning willingness to do what I asked… "It wasn't until you brought me to your base when I realized I'd had the wrong idea about you."

"What did you think of me before?"

"That you… were angry. Proud. I was your first conquest on the planet, and it gave you a feel for being a leader. I thought you were happy Starscream was nowhere to be found, so that you could take his place with the other new arrivals. I thought I was a symbol and a pet, and you only wanted me so you'd look like a badass…"

His vents hissed softly, but he only shook his head slightly. "You know now that isn't true."

"I know."

He smiled, and the face that would've inspired confused gratitude and fear just a few weeks ago filled my spark with satisfaction now. Skywarp had made my life better, and I'd done the same for him.

"You reminded me of Frequency so much that night."

"Frequency?"

He smiled. His optics were on mine, but he was looking through me into the past. "The femme I told you about. She worked on a mining colony on a small moon. You had to be pretty big to be able to hand most of the work, bigger than the average mech. She was big too, but still the smallest bot on that rock, and there were only a handful of other femmes along with three- or four-dozen mechs. She put up with a lot, working there, and more than once she scrapped the mechs who thought they could bully her into their berths. If I tried to help her she'd give me that _look_. Your face that night reminded me so much of hers, grim and defiant and confident in the heat of the moment. I didn't know anything about humans then, but it was so clear."

I hugged myself a little tighter. Was I just a replacement trying to fill the space an old femme had left in his life?

Skywarp must've seen it in my optics. "You're different from her too, you know. She didn't make friends easily, and she usually had to hide after the fights so nobody would see her shaking. She wouldn't let anyone help her, not even the other femmes, and she hated when anyone beat her at anything. She hated me for a little while, because I was faster than her… But we always found each other in the strangest places, and one day…"

He trailed off, turning his head and gazing into the far wall. I didn't really want to know; jealousy might ruin the rest of our indefinite time in the brig.

We fell into silence for a while. I was quiet because I was uncomfortable, and he was presumably busy combing his memories. I'd decided to follow suit and open a few of my forgotten human memory files when the brig door opened and two pairs of metal feet clanked into the brig.

I leaned close to the bars and could just see the red and blue flames of Optimus Prime, and probably Prowl behind him. Prowl stayed by the door, but Optimus came down the aisle and stopped when he came abreast of our cells. He nodded perfunctorily to Skywarp, who looked as if he wanted to give one of his boulder-growls, then turned to me.

"Care to explain why you threatened to expose this operation?" There was little emotion in his voice and I wilted under the unusually cold optics.

Straightening up, I spoke without thinking. "I wasn't really going to tell them anything, Optimus… I just wanted to make a point." My voice didn't seem to want to raise itself above a whisper.

"That point being…?" One of his eyebrow ridges rose suspiciously.

"That I… that he… It was a jerk move, putting him back in the brig!" I finally snapped. I knew I didn't really have a coherent point (other than proving my loyalty to the Decepticon) to make by being put into the brig, but that didn't mean I couldn't at least try to defend myself.

"Your judgment has been clouded, Bravura. My CMO thinks he may have missed some of the virus you caught, which would explain the erratic behavior. Before you leave this cell Ratchet wants a full diagnostic."

I sighed. "I'm not sick. I'm bored. I had cabin fever when I ran away, and I felt sorry for my friend when I made that threat. Skywarp's earned his freedom. He saved me, brought me back in one piece, and _then_ he walked through your base without hurting anyone. He hasn't given away your location, and you _still _turned on him!"

"It will take more than a handful of good deeds on your behalf to gain our perfect trust, Bravura. You know he's responsible for the deaths of hundreds of civilians, mostly femmes, and probably thousands of warriors?"

I nodded uncomfortably. I'd known he'd killed before… Hundreds? _Thousands?_ "He's different now."

"They're called Decepticons for a reason."

"_His _name is Skywarp! He's not just the bad guy!"

"That's why we're giving him the option of accepting the non-aggression treaty. We may not trust him completely, but compared to his brother he's a only a low-level threat."

I didn't buy that for a second. "How so?" The Seeker had seemed pretty threatening when he clashed with Starscream.

"He doesn't take much… initiative."

Skywarp cleared his vocal processors uncomfortably. "I'm right here, you know."

Optimus turned sideways with a sigh, but his optics stayed on me. "You will promise me you won't threaten my men or this base's safety again?"

"If you keep your end of Skywarp's bargain, yes. I'll promise I won't give you away."

"He has to agree to-"

"So," Skywarp interrupted, "if I swear not to step on anyone or shoot anybody, we both go free?"

Optimus nodded. "Yes, but you'll also be expected to-"

"As in, right now, if we're both good, we can just walk right out of here?" Skywarp chuckled as I followed his lead and cut off the Autobot myself.

The tall Semi rubbed the bridge of his oddly shaped nose and nodded. "Meet the conditions, and yes."

"Ok, then I promise I won't endanger this base or your people again as long as Skywarp isn't locked up," I folded my arms, amazed that the famous leader had let us bowl over him like that. Maybe he was just as eager to mend things as I was? Then again, maybe he was just sick of having peaceful POWs in his brig. According to Hotrod he was known for claiming "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings."

"And I consent to all of the terms of your non-aggression treaty, so long as your soldiers do the same," Skywarp said slowly. It sounded painful to him. "I reserve the right to defend myself and my companion against Autobot and human military forces should the need arise."

"Stick to the terms and that won't be necessary," Optimus said agreeably.

`My spark leapt in its casing. We were going free! _You've only been locked up a few hours,_ my LP nudged.

Optimus turned back to me. "I'm still going to have Ratchet take one last look at you. Even if nothing is wrong, if you're leaving our protection you'll need all the help you can get."

I was only partly listening, watching the Decepticon in the opposite cell. My expression felt like it matched his, breathless and elated and hopeful.

* * *

The next hour or so passed in a whirlwind. Ratchet came down, entered my cell, and did another systems check. I was clean.

"You must have some cross-wiring," he'd said gruffly. "I can't imagine a properly wired bot doing the things you've done in the past twelve hours."

After electronically storing our verbal compliance to Optimus's terms Prowl allowed the cell bars to power down and we were freed.

The first thing Skywarp did was snatch me up and hold me to his chest, high enough so that I could actually see his face. I used the plating on his stomach to lever myself higher and wrapped my arms around his neck, laughing.

The Seeker laughed with me, then his expression turned more serious and he gently disengaged my arms, then lifted me to his shoulder as he'd done before in South Lake Tahoe. I still felt awkward up there, but his wing stuck up low behind me and I didn't feel in danger of falling off. Another plus: I was able to look down at Optimus for a change. I could've reached up and touched the ceiling if I stretched.

"No tricks?" My Raptor asked skeptically. "That's it?"

The tall Semi nodded. "As strange as the circumstances surrounding you two have been… I'm happy to see at least one Decepticon find a reason to leave the war behind."

Skywarp set me down to climb the stairs the main level of the baseon my own power. As I stepped out into hallways I'd come to see as a pale version of home I was swept off my feet and spun around. I didn't have to look to know that it was Mirage; for once he wasn't masking his signatures.

"You!" Skywarp growled.

Everyone froze for an agonizingly tense moment, but the Seeker remained where he was, so Mirage slowly knelt to the ground, setting me on my feet with a smile.

I hugged Mirage tightly, but he gently pushed me back until he held me at arm's length to look at me.

_You're sure about him?_ He asked.

_Yes, I am._

The Seeker shifted noisily, so the Lexus released me with a guilty smile.

"I've been ordered by the CMO to teach you how to repair and reform alt mode plating and parts before you go," he said dryly, rising to his feet.

"I could teach her that," Skywarp grumbled behind me.

"Even so, orders are orders," Mirage said with a not so discreet wink to me.

"Skywarp, some energon before you go? You'll be relying on solar power again when you leave," Optimus pointed out pleasantly. "We'll leave Bravura and Mirage to the repairs."

"I'd rather not-"

"It's ok, Skywarp. It'll only take a minute, right Mirage?" My teacher nodded supportively, and the Seeker sighed and nodded to Optimus, who led the unwilling mech away towards the rec. hall. That would be interesting…

As soon as they'd rounded the corner, Mirage grinned down at me. "Ok, along with the regeneration thing, I have another lesson for you. And a present."

"A present?" I asked curiously. "Can I see it?"

He shook his head. "No, lessons first. Let's find an empty room so we don't scare the little guys."

He led me by the shoulder to an unoccupied office of Cybertronian proportions, much like the office Optimus used. Mirage pulled the chair from behind the desk and arranged it so that we'd be facing each other when we sat, close enough to touch. Many of his lessons involved information packets or protocols to get me started on the right track, so I wasn't surprised.

We settled down, and he looked me over. "Pretty bad," he clucked. "Just about every plate of alt mode looks like it took a beating… It's not hard to fix the glass or the cracks, you just have to access the blue prints you took in your scan and reboot the file as if you were scanning it for the first time. It's draining, but it's quicker than trying to replace each piece with actual native materials. Here." He took my hand and sent the precise instructions. "Try it on something small, the mirrors maybe."

I did as I was told, and with a white crackly flash the side view mirrors mended. It was painful, something I hadn't expected.

"The sensors had to reconnect," Mirage explained when I asked. "It's like messing with human nerves, I suppose."

I had felt the drag of energy but it hadn't been too much, so I decided to try my driver and passenger side windows. White crackly flash, sting of pain, and then… oooh.

I hunched in my seat. "That's… I didn't feel this tired after doing my whole alt mode. What's the deal…?"

"When you do the whole package everything forms together, coordinated and synchronized. Rebuilding a piece is like forcing something else to fit where it shouldn't belong, and getting it in line with the rest of your body takes a lot of rerouting."

"Ah… well. The rest is going to have to wait."

"I thought so," he said patiently. "Remember, you can't heal your frame like that. If you ever really damage your actual body, you'll need a medic. For the alt mode, little repairs and maintenance like oil changes or filters can be done by a human- but if you know that the piece is transformed in your robot mode, like your engine, you can't replace it or you'll be trapped in your alt mode until it's removed. Got it?"

I nodded studiously. I hadn't realized alt modes were so complicated…

"Now, I know you aren't any good at signature silencing, but I'm going to give you a performance drill to work on. With practice you'll get the hang of it." Another file came through the connection, and I carefully saved it.

"I could've used this last night," I said with self-deprecation.

The mech nodded. "Just promise you'll practice, alright? And have that big lump buy you a gun you can install, not just something to carry around. And if you can, find a neutral or an Autobot medic to give you a check up and renew you firewalls. And never let your energy stores get below twenty-five percent, you never know when there'll be an emergency. And-"

I leaned over and clasped his other hand tightly. "He'll look out for me, don't worry… Now, didn't you say something about a present?"

The Lexus nodded, his expression brightening. "Yes, I did. Now, it's not the best I've ever built, but I figured if you're going out there, you might need it…"

He reached into his chest where he kept his holograms, and out tumbled one I'd never seen before, smaller and less complicated than his favorite gadget.

"It's not solid," he said self-consciously, "but it's the best I could do for now."

"A hologram?" It had never occurred to me that I might have trouble blending in without someone driving my concrete-hugging alt mode. "What does it look like?"

"Anything you want. You design it yourself, or take a template off of a real native."

"Native?"

He sighed. "Yes. Most aliens don't even come close to looking human, so you have to be flexible."

"I don't think you understand," I said with a smile. "We're not even leaving the continent. We're going to Mexico."

"What?!" The Lexus seemed to erupt, leaping to his feet and forcing me to jerk back in my seat to keep from getting kneed in the face. "There's an army of Decepticons forming here! His brothers will pressure him to fight! Those sleazy glitches will hear about you and want to-" his vents heaved with frustration and he made an effort to lower his voice. "You might not have thought this through, but most of our kind hasn't seen a femme in thousands of years, and Skywarp can't protect you every second of the day from every grease bucket who comes looking for you."

I looked down guiltily. "I don't want to leave my home behind… Or my friends."

Mirage sank back down into his chair. "It's one thing to live on an enemy occupied planet surrounded by an army who can and will protect you… It another thing to live on that same planet with one turncoat who's likely go back to that enemy as soon as they want him to."

"He wouldn't do that," I said a little angrily.  
"Bravura… Please. If you have to leave the base, leave the planet too."

Something grumbled in my chest, a higher and less resonant version of Skywarp's growl. It sounded sulky rather than threatening. "We'll be ok, Mirage. I'll e-mail you every day, ok?" I rose abruptly and walked to the door to hide the anger on my face, then smothered it before my friend could see it. "I could use some energon before we go."

The Lexus followed me helplessly, seeing that I wouldn't listen to his reasoning this time.

We were walking down the halls together, avoiding saying anything, when we heard the roar and clash. My friend exchanged a worried look with me, and we picked up the pace, running the rest of the way to the rec. hall. We were about to go in when a red blur was flung through the doorway.

The mech's shoulder caught on the doorframe and he spun off balance, then hit the wall

with another resounding metallic boom. He straightened himself out and I realized it was an enraged Hotrod. His optics fell on me, and if it weren't for Mirage edging between us he might've come at me.

"They tell me," he snarled, "that you are leaving with the _Decepticon._" He spat the word like poison.

I nodded, but Mirage spoke for me. "It's none of your business, soldier. They're both officially neutral now, and we have no say in what they do or where they go. She's not _yours._"

This seemed to both enrage and crush the Vanquish. My spark reached out to him… It struck me hard, the epiphany I could neither welcome nor resent. He might not want to admit it, but in saving me he'd given up any romantic future with me. I realized then that the ache we'd been feeling had been our resistance to the idea; his because he couldn't believe he might lose me, and mine because I'd been afraid it'd mean we were bonded.

We were bonded, but not in the way I'd feared. I released the emotional grip I'd been clamping down on my spark all this time, and I saw him shudder.

"Hotrod…" I stepped around Mirage, who seemed confused but alert, resting a reassuring hand on his leg as I went. "You know it's true. It's why we both hurt… I didn't know to fight it at first, but you were blocking me so I never knew… and then I blocked it too. You're like a… a brother."

"No." He choked the word out pitifully, his whole body sagging. "Please…"

I reached up and took his hand in mine, squeezing. "You kept your promise, Hotrod. I'll never be alone again. I'll always have you, here." I touched my chest, and I could see the anguish intensify in his optics.

"Not like this. I didn't want this." His vocal processors sounded quivery and broken, and I could see he was on the edge of an emotional breakdown.

I looked into the rec. hall and realized we had an audience of several dozen men and mechs, including a carefully passive Skywarp. "Let's go talk, Hotrod. We'll make everything make sense, ok?" I nodded to the Seeker, and he nodded back.

Mirage tried to follow us as I led the red mech by the hand, but I sent him away with a look. Hotrod wouldn't hurt me now.

I took him to my quarters, hoping it wouldn't upset the mech further. He'd never been in them before, to my knowledge.

He sat mechanically on the berth, and I stood before him, not sure what to say first.

"How long have your known?" I finally asked carefully.

"Since we woke you up." He wouldn't look at me. "If I had known it would happen…" he whispered.

"Would you have let me die?" I kept any accusation from my voice, but it took more effort to make sure he felt nothing but acceptance through our connection. I couldn't feel anything from him. The ache was gone, but now that I knew what I should be feeling my spark seemed empty.

He shook his head. "No. But… There must have been another way. I should've let Mirage do it."

"Mirage couldn't have done it. You loved me; you were willing to risk dying for me. I don't know if Mirage would've know what to do."

"I _still_ love you," he sighed.

"I love you too, Hotrod. Just not the way I used to. I can't even really say if I ever loved you… the same way. I guess I've known it a while now."

I climbed onto my berth and sat next to him, leaning a little against him to ease the persistent ache I knew he must have been feeling. "It's not so bad, being spark twins," I said gently. "Have you ever had a bond before?"

The mech shook his head, and it reminded me that he was technically a young soldier.

"Me neither," I said, trying to smile. "But hey… at least we're hot twins, right?"

He couldn't help the weak smile that broke through his mask of misery. "You never got to the Marussia. What'd you pick?"

"I didn't really get to pick…" I sent a picture from my human memory of an Elise I'd once ridden in with a friend. It'd been a different color, but he'd get the idea.

"It's nice," he said noncommittally.

"Yes, it will be when I get it patched up and the paint heals."

"Where will you go?" He mumbled, looking at his hands clasped together on his lap.

"Mexico, I think. I don't want to leave the planet."

The red mech gave me a sharp look, then quickly glared back down at his hands. "It's not safe."

"I know. We'll be fine."

We sat quietly for a few minutes, but I steadily sent him positive reinforcement. I knew he could feel it, but he stolidly refused to open up to me.

"I don't want to leave you hurting," I whispered.

"Then don't leave," he whispered back.

Without a doubt he felt the spike of pain that shot through me. "It's the best thing I can do for Skywarp. He needs time to find out who he is again, without the Autobots or Decepticons to pressure him."

"Why do you care about him?" My spark twin finally looked up from his lap to me, though he was several feet taller than me sitting down.

"Because there's more to him than anyone's guessed. He's a very sincere and caring person under all the anger and pretending."

"If… if we weren't… you know. Would you have chosen me?"

I shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. All I know is that things didn't work out that way."

He nodded as if his head was suddenly very heavy, then I felt something…

He reached tentatively through our bond, and I immediately embraced the mech sitting next to me. I could feel his dismay and his pain, but I had the distinct feeling that things were going to be ok.

My exhaustion hit me then, and I leaned heavily against my… brother. It was oddly comforting, not having to explain that I was only tired. He knew.

We came back after Hotrod had calmed down. We went into the rec. hall where Optimus, Prowl, Mirage and Skywarp were waiting. Skywarp was still standing, but Mirage leapt to his feet as soon as he saw us. I held up my hands in a placatory gesture, and Mirage slowly lowered himself back to the bench. Skywarp gave me a strange look, and I smiled blandly, crossing the rec. hall to him quickly and touching his leg.

_I have a spark twin,_ I sent, trying to layer my lingering surprise into the message.

He didn't respond, but I could practically feel the relief coming off of him. I patted his leg noisily, then went and picked out the biggest energon cube my tank could handle. I caught Mirage trying to look disapproving but failing, and I drained the cube anyway. Hopefully it would keep me going until Skywarp could get us somewhere quiet.

* * *

This story is winding down... one last big thing is going to happen, it'll take a few chaps I think, and then I'll move on to my next story... I want to do Skywarp and Frequency's story. Take care ya'll!


	44. Better Than Holograms

A million billion thanks to whitedino, StarSwoop, Yuki Hikari, TFSTARFIRE, Megatron's Blackfire, Cybernetic Mango, Carmilla DeWinter, and especially The Cat Crusader, who drew Brav and Skywarp flying off into the moonlight! Wheee!

Warning: Some talk about interfacing, some afterglow stuff… no actual in the moment descriptions.

Oh, and some of your probably noticed a while back, Warp's teleport has a _between_, just like Anne McCaffrey's dragons. But not as cold ; )

* * *

In all of my time as a Cybertronian I'd never felt unfiltered daylight on my face. Sure, I'd seen it through glass. I'd even watched one sunset, but somehow it wasn't as bright, as hot, as fulfilling as that first time stepping out into the radiance of midday. The bright colors of my friends seemed washed out and empty, but I didn't mind. I could feel myself eating up the light like a plant.

Everybot in the base turned out to see us off. The mesa wasn't small by any means, but it certainly began to seem that way with six mechs in their robot modes, not even counting me and my soon to be traveling companion.

A few humans had followed us up, guys who all seemed to know at least one of the larger soldiers on a personal basis. I'd carefully avoided the banter and jokes I'd seen the other Cybertronians occasionally joining in on, mostly out of fear of sounding too culturally adjusted.

I was anxious and nervous. If I'd been human I would've had sweaty palms and butterflies in my stomach. Now, all I had to show for my tension was an irritating clumsiness. Hotrod's spark was a welcome presence, even if he was absolutely miserable.

Mirage had handed my hologram back to me, since I'd dropped it when Hotrod had appeared. He'd shown me how to make room for it in my chest and organize it into my transformation protocols so that when I was in car mode it could project into the driver's seat while still plugged in.

Ratchet had returned our communications, weapons and alt mode function once we'd reached the top of the mesa. Skywarp had probably noticed the lack more than me; I had only the most basic of communication systems, no weapons aside from knives, and I'd barely had time to get used to my alt mode.

Optimus and Skywarp shook hands, though the Seeker looked less than excited by the pleasantries. The Autobot leader looked down at me, and I felt suddenly reticent.

"Optimus Prime… Thank you for taking me in, for helping me. I know I haven't been the best guest, but… if there's anything I can do to help you someday, you know how to find me." I looked to Hotrod with a faint smile.

"You're welcome, Bravura. My only request is that you alert me if you see any Decepticon activity. You owe us nothing. If you ever need us again, do not hesitate to ask."

I leaned against my Seeker's leg. _Do I have to ride on your back again?_

_Well… no, I guess not._ Before I could think Skywarp had scooped me up, supporting me only a little awkwardly in one long arm.

Hotrod's connection to me fumed with jealousy. I felt like I was betraying him, my once-Guardian. All those times that had upset him, that had seemed to bring out the worst in him… He'd been acting strangely because he was fighting himself; it wasn't entirely his fault. I'd been oblivious to his pain.

"Until we meet again," Optimus said with composure, dragging me from my thoughts.

I waved weakly to Mirage, but we'd already said our goodbyes. He waved back, smiling for my benefit.

Hotrod, on the other hand, looked like someone just kicked his puppy.

Skywarp turned his back on the Autobots, facing the edge of the mesa. _Ready to jet?_

_No_.

_You'll never be a flier at that rate,_ he sent affectionately. His grip on me tightened and I latched onto him as best I could.

I could feel the power coiling in him and he lowered, then leapt forward that last huge step before the mesa ended and open air began. His engines roared and he rose quickly, though not as fast as he would've in his jet mode.

_3… 2… 1._

I didn't offline my optics this time, so I took in the blackness of the transition, the chill, and then the sudden blinding light and rush of wind fairly calmly as we arrived wherever it was that Skywarp had taken us.

He hovered a moment, his other arm snaking up to encase me against him. I couldn't see much but some green topping some distant mountains, plenty of brown, and a lot of empty space…

We lowered slowly until the Raptor settled down with a crunchy thud. I pulled myself up enough to see around and saw we were in a scrubby, rocky desert. The Chihuahuan Desert, my GPS supplied.

"It's… nice," I supplied, looking up at Skywarp red optics. He was grinning, and I couldn't help but smile too. "You look happy."

He shifted me in his arms, then lifted me up to look him in the eye and-

-_kissed me_. It was the most explosive, electric kiss I'd ever experienced. Kissing holograms had nothing on this.

Where our lips touched there was an icy fire which raced deep into my skull and down into my hands, which curled around his head without my permission. I leaned into him with an eagerness I'd never known before. He supported my weight with his forearm; the other hand brushed what felt like just one finger down the back of my neck. I felt so small when compared to him…

I came back to my senses when he gently pulled me away from him. He looked more mischievous than ever, and if it'd been possible I would've blushed my cool blue paint to bright red.

Meanwhile, I could feel Hotrod going from shock to disbelief to absolute dejection. He couldn't tell exactly what had happened, but whatever it was, I hadn't wasted any time doing it… I'd have to learn to ignore my spark twin at times like these, the same way he would…

"I don't suppose you enjoyed that," he said softly, not quite able to hide his amusement.

My throat whined as I grasped for words, but all I could do in the end was smile and change the subject. "So, we're living here? Do we make a house out of pebbles?"

If he was disappointed by my avoidance he didn't show it. "No, the mountains." He pointed off into the hazy distance to a range of low mountains, though further west some of them were much taller and peaked with green.

"Do you know which one exactly?"

"A few might work… I flew over them once, before I realized Starscream was already gone. There were a few valleys that looked nice." He looked from the horizon to me, his red eyes dull in the blazing sun. "You're tired."

I nodded. The energon and the sun helped, but I still needed a chance to sort out my systems for a few hours.

"Best get moving, then. We'll want cover; don't want anyone spotting us."

He lowered me back down to chest level, angling me against the sharp lines of his torso, and before I knew it he'd leapt back into the sky, his engines puncturing the tranquility of the desert.

Held tightly against the heat of his body it was easy to drift away a little. I didn't quite offline, but I was close when he finally set down. I looked around to see rock walls rising around us, one much closer than the other. We settled about two thirds of the way down the valley, which went from steep cliffs to a much gentler rolling drop the lower we went. Skywarp had found a relatively flat place to land.

"I'll steal some explosives tomorrow and level this out," he said calmly. "No point in wasting energy when we don't have to, right?"

I shrugged, and he lowered me to the ground. I wasn't so tired that I couldn't stand on my own two feet, but I was close. I looked around, my vision clear despite my weariness.

The valley was deep and narrow, with an open end facing the southwest. The northeast end of the canyon was mostly facing the opening, though the valley was not perfectly straight. The easternmost wall was much taller at the terminus and green vegetation grew on most of it, though not as densely towards the bottom.

_The wall catches the clouds and vapor, which waters the plants,_ my LP provided. I'd learned this before, but the hows and whys had escaped me until the reminder.

We were on the opposite wall, which wasn't nearly as steep as the green side of the canyon. I half expected to see a ribbon of water at the bottom, but it was occupied only by brownish scrub and rock.

"I don't see any shelter," I said. I had no idea where I would sleep, much less where we'd stay for the night.

"Tomorrow," he said distractedly. He was checking out the whole valley, probably envisioning improvements.

"But the cold?"

"It's really not the cold that does it, it's ice… Gets into everything, just like _sand_…" He shuddered emphatically, earning a giggle from me. He sat down further up the rise, so that he was reclining rather than lying flat when he settled his broad back against the dirt and rocks.

I watched him lay down, then looked around awkwardly until he gestured for me to come to him. I did without thinking, and as soon I was within reach he grabbed me and drew me down until I was curled against him, lying mostly on his arm and my head braced on his shoulder. He'd been up most of the night too, so it made sense that he'd want to recharge as well.

I stretched my arm out and traced some of the lines between the larger, tougher looking pieces on his stomach. I must've stroked something sensitive, because he shivered and grabbed my wrist with his free hand.

"None of that, unless you don't want to recharge after all." He said suggestively.

"Sorry." The implications of being alone with Skywarp were beginning to come clear. It couldn't be so bad. Thinking back to the brig, the brief time we'd interfaced, maybe it would be nice. Fun, even.

He looked at me for a while, probably measuring my reaction, then his vents heaved and he let his head rest against the uneven rock of the valley. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

My chin jerked up in surprise, then I slowly raised myself a little to reach up for his face, tracing the lines of his chin. "Of course not. Aside from the fact that I think you're the only mech I could've picked… What life would I have, staying with them?"

"The Autobots? Or the humans?"

I smiled and settled back down against his shoulder, and because of the angle had to settle for resting my hand on his chest. "Both. If you hadn't tried to heal me, I'd be a human with nowhere to go I wanted to go, nobody to relate to except for some people I didn't remember, waiting patiently for the mechs to come home while I rotted in the City…

"Now that I'm… like you, I'm an even bigger burden, and I can't even do anything to help them. Can't even defend myself." He heard the bitter note, and squeezed my hand lightly.

"That's true? Nobody's taught you how to fight a Cybertronian?"

"Well, Mirage and I messed around, play fighting… nothing serious. I could maybe last a few minutes hand-to-hand with a mech who didn't really want to hurt me, but someone like you… The only defense I know is about body mechanics, and somehow, the way you're shaped, I don't think it would work."

He chuckled, a sound that reverberated through his chest and into me. "We have all the time in the universe… I'll teach you."

I snuggled against him. The light scratching my plates made against his belied how smooth and soft he felt to me. "Sounds good," I said, my vents slowing as I settled down.

The sun was burning down on us, but it felt good. My internal grid, full of lights and readouts, told me that I was converting the sun into stored energy. It left me feeling satisfied, like I'd been thirsty without knowing it until I took a drink. I offlined my optics and my world went dark, but I listened to the hums and whirs coming from Skywarp's chest until I fell into recharge.

* * *

He was gone.

I'd woken up alone on the dirt. I could see the tracks where he'd gotten up, walked away towards the open end of our new home… Where had he gone? It was dark in the valley; the sun was too low on the horizon to reach over the short western walls.

Panic rose in me. Why would he leave without saying anything? Why wouldn't he take me? Was something wrong? Had someone come?

_No signs of a struggle. He walked away alone._

"Skywarp," I whispered to the empty valley.

Hotrod was alert to my sudden distress, and I could feel his frustration. He didn't know what was wrong or how to help.

I'd leapt to my feet in those first few moments, but sank to my knees as I mulled over the possibilities. I tried to calm myself for my twin's benefit. Why would the Seeker leave?

Was he the one having second thoughts? He had realized I didn't fit my name as well as he'd thought? He'd lost interest?

Maybe he left for supplies? But why wouldn't he tell me about that?

I heard a faint whining and I strained my audios until I realized it was coming from me. I'd rarely been truly alone since my new body, and the absolute emptiness of the desert was frightening. What if someone came…?

_Mirage's lesson. It can help you hide until Skywarp comes back._

I swallowed my fear and mentally reached for the file my teacher had given me. I opened it, wondering for the first time at the size of the file. I looked in, and realized it was more than one lesson. There were dozens of files packed in, and by their labels they covered everything from first-aid to… interfacing and bonding.

Mirage would've taught me about these things someday… When he thought I was ready, or when I needed to know. I understood his unhappiness in watching me leave, now that I realized how much I didn't understand about my body, much less the culture I'd been thrust into – The worst part was that the bits of information he'd given me probably barely skimmed the surface.

My priority should have been masking my signature, but I couldn't help opening the file on interfacing. I had no idea how much would happen with Skywarp, or how soon…

It was all fascinating, but the thought of actually doing these things… Touching Skywarp, stimulating him, jacking into his systems while he jacked into mine, pressing our sparks together, overloading… I wasn't afraid of unexpected results like sparklings, but the type of familiarity required by the whole business was something I wasn't sure I had with my companion.

Human intimacy was nothing compared to interfacing, much less spark contact. I'd been overwhelmed by the half second Hotrod had held me to his spark when I woke into this body, and he was only my twin… What would a relatively unfamiliar mech's spark feel like?

I flipped open my wrist guard, much thicker than it'd been before the alt mode, and eyed the jack there. It was the same port Skywarp had used, back in the brig… Just above it was a small protrusion. I tugged on it curiously, having some idea of what it was for from my reading, and the cable slid easily from my arm. It looked innocent enough.

A strange idea crossed my mind, and without thinking I tried plugging the cable into my own port. It seemed taboo to me, wrong, but I was curious, and there was nobody around to see. At first nothing happened, but as soon as I moved my arm there was a crackle. I _hrrrm_ed to myself, then sent an experimental shock through the cable. I was blind immediately. Whatever I had done had managed to white out my optics. I couldn't feel anything, either.

I came to my senses lying on my back. I snatched at the cable, but it'd blown out of the socket and retracted back into my arm on its own. My vision seemed washed out, but the color deepened as I waited. The sky returned from snow to powder blue in a few minutes.

I'd either given myself an overcharge or shorted myself out. Anyway, I wouldn't be trying that again. I rose to my feet, but my mistake didn't seem to have any lasting effects. I already felt normal again, so I closed the interfacing file and went into Mirage's silencing lesson.

* * *

Two hours later I was in deep concentration. The instructions were voice files, Mirage patiently and deliberately feeding me drills and reminders. I felt that maybe I'd finally gotten it, my signatures silenced to anyone who wasn't practically on top of me.

It was more difficult than I'd expected, especially with Hotrod's consciousness tearing my attention away now and again. He'd been beside himself with glee after my experiment. He'd probably attempted something like it before. Ever since the incident he'd been in a slightly better mood. I was calm, focusing on my lesson, so he had no reason to worry about my nervousness earlier.

Besides, he had important things to focus on. He was often surprisingly serious, my brother, but always with a positive edge on everything. His presence was a luxury out in the lonely desert.

A burst of interest came from my spark twin and it broke my concentration, ruining my control. My signature flared to life, and I heard a chuckle close by.

I jerked up, onlining my optics and looking around frantically. Skywarp was sitting not far from me.

"Not bad," he said with a smile.

"How long have you been here? Why'd you leave? Why didn't you tell me? I was _alone!"_

The Seeker frowned, seeing his mistake. "I'm sorry, I thought you'd sleep longer."

"That didn't answer my question, big guy!"

He grinned and reached out his long arm, hooking his fingers around me and pulling me to him. I was only a little unhappy about it. The relief that he was back was too great for me to dwell on my anger, and I let him pull me to his chest without any resistance.

"I was taking care of a few things, that's all. I won't leave without telling you next time, ok?"

"Next time?"

"I can't just ignore Starscream, can I? The best way to make sure he doesn't bother us is by staying on his good side, so I reported in. He even let me take something out of the stores for you…"

I tensed. "What is it? Is it bugged?"

"No, it's not bugged. I took it from the stores myself. It's a gun."

I shied away as much as I could encircled in his arms. "A gun? I don't need a gun."

"Yes, you need a gun. It's really high-quality too, let me show you…"

The mech reached behind him and picked something up, shaking the dirt off. He held a hollow looking piece of equipment. It seemed tiny in his hand, but it was the length of my forearm. I didn't see a grip or trigger on it anywhere.

"Nice, huh?" He asked happily. "Here, let's get it installed and see what your think."

"Installed?" Mirage had said something about getting a gun installed.

"Yeah, we wire it in and fit it into your alt mode. Soldiers have all kinds of things installed. I've had dozens of installations. It's no big deal. Here, sit down… Right or left?"

"Right," I answered absently. I watched as his partly disassembled the gun, which looked nothing like a gun at this point. He fiddled with the plating on my arm, then propped me against his chest in his lap, leaning over me. Somehow he exposed most of my base frame, the lively blue plating sticking out at odd angles away from the chrome. As I watched he fitted the gun to my arm, adjusted it, tried again… I didn't protest until he began soldering some wires.

"That stings, Skywarp…"

"It's only for a little while," he said distractedly. He gave another nip to my arm, and suddenly I felt something come to life in the piece of the gun. Some sort of program asked permission to install itself.

"Go ahead and let it," Skywarp said when I asked. "It'll work it into your alt mode and your targeting systems."

I did as I was told, and while I watched the program do its thing Skywarp fitted a couple of smaller pieces into my arm. He repeatedly swung sections of my plating down to be sure it would fit. He had to adjust the conformation a bit, making my right arm look a little different from the left.

Apart from the soldering it was fairly relaxing to let Skywarp work on me. I felt safe again, my back pressed to his stomach. It was quite dark now, though I could still see clearly, and his red eyes glowed cheerily off the shinier bits of my alt mode.

It took the better part of thirty minutes, but he finally had everything in place.

"So Starscream just gave this to you? No strings attached?"

"Yes. I told him I was settling down, quitting the war. He said that was fine, so I asked if he had any spare weapons, and he gave me the clearance. It's like it was made for you, it fits just right… There were a few others this size, maybe if you like this one we'll get another for your left."

I sighed. Starscream didn't seem like the type to do anything without some kind of motive. It was too easy. Skywarp wasn't stupid, but maybe he trusted his brother too much.

"Are mechs my size very… common?"

"Well… not in the Decepticons, not really. Why?"

"Why would Starscream be sure to have weapons for mechs my size if most of them are bigger?"

"Maybe they were just leftovers."

"Skywarp," I sighed. "Something's not right. Why would he just let you leave? He didn't seem like the warm and fuzzy type when I saw him."

"He's my brother," Skywarp said with a little irritation. "If I don't want to fight he can't make me, and we're bonded, so he can't kill me. It's as simple as that."

I stared down at my right arm. Had Skywarp installed something dangerous? Was the other Seeker above sabotage? I could think of one way Starscream could make Skywarp cooperate, and it didn't bode well for me.

"Well, aren't you going to try it out?" He asked excitedly.

"Maybe in the morning… You didn't rest much, and I'm gonna be bushed after I repair my windshield."

Skywarp huge shoulders sagged, so I twisted around on his lap and stood up, carefully balancing on his heavily plated thighs. I reached for his face and he leaned down for me, until I was on the very tips of my supports… Our lips touched and the fire raced through me again. I knew he felt it too, because his hands snaked around me and he squeezed tightly. His body tilted forward to the point I was afraid he'd pitch over onto me.

I leaned away reluctantly, confident that he'd hold me up. I hadn't meant for something so involved to start like that. "Thank you for my new gun, Skywarp. Not that I'll need it with you around."

His serious, drugged expression broke into a smile. "What is it you humans say… better safe than sorry? I wonder if Starscream has any blueprints of our first jet modes, they'd be perfect for you with a little tweaking…"

I cringed, then quickly pulled his attention away from any plans involving me flying by running a hand down his chest, the other pulling his head down to me again. His vents hummed, and I realized mine were beginning to work harder as well. I felt warm all over, but the burning frost his lips left on mine pushed me on. He started to lean forward again, then suddenly jerked upright and stood, carrying me with him to the wall. He sat quickly and braced himself against it.

"Sorry, I don't want to crush you on accident… so you stay on top."

I burst out laughing, confusing the poor Seeker. I'd heard excuses before, but this was the first time I actually agreed wholeheartedly with the reasoning rather than assuming laziness was the key factor. He could definitely squish me. I calmed myself, pushed an extremely frustrated Hotrod out of my mind, and began exploring my Seeker for the first time.

* * *

The moon was high by the time Skywarp had fallen into recharge. I still felt electrified, tingly and weak. He'd carried me to heights I'd never known existed, leaving me stunned and helpless. I was afraid he'd given me more than I'd been able to deal out, but he'd seemed happy enough when he unhooked my cable from his arm, his own wiring already retracted from mine.

He'd looked at me for a long time as I curled against his triangular upper body, cradled in his arms. I'd returned his gaze, resisting the urge to ask him what he was thinking.

Aside from the sensory differences, the biggest distinction between human and Cybertronian intimacy was being able to feel true confidence in your partner… Interfacing wasn't even the real deal; according to my file it was supposed to be a way to satisfy a bots needs without intending to procreate. Mechs who were interested only in femmes could interface with another male without compunction. Spark contact was the more meaningful and monumental sort of joining, supposedly like becoming one spark. Like becoming your partner for a little while… It didn't always result in a sparkling, in fact the occurrence was exceedingly rare. The chances of bonding were much higher. Neither of us were prepared for that, and so we'd only interfaced.

But oh good God, had we _interfaced._ (My spark twin now loathed me.)

I had nothing to compare it with, no precedent, but I was certain that it was impossible to surpass what I'd just experienced with Skywarp. Even so, I wanted to rebuild my windshield before I recharged. I eased off of the Raptor, fairly certain it wouldn't disturb him. I walked down the rise, hopefully far enough so that the energy surge wouldn't wake him, and began the process of repairing the glass.

The light made the area immediately around me as bright as day, then faded quickly. I wished I could blink away the bright sunspots the repair's light had left in my optics, but even as I turned to walk back to Skywarp my vision returned to normal. I lowered myself back against him and saw that I had disturbed him. His eyes weren't at full brightness, but he was definitely awake. He watched me curl against him without comment, then reached across his chest to pet my back lazily.

A little rebellious piece of me, fueled by Hotrod's sleepless gloom, rejected my easy acceptance of the new level of my relationship with the ex-Decepticon, but the rest of me was too pleased to give it any mind. I was with the mech who cared about me, the one who would make it all worth it.

* * *

"Right, now reach under the energon line; Break that on the way out. Feel for the- yes, there. Now you have to be quick to cut through that before I reach down and grab you. If you have to, shoot in there, but remember that the backfire will hurt you too. Only if you're desperate."

Ever since our talk about my combat skills Skywarp had been concerned about how I would fair against an unreasonably large mech without his help. As the sun began to rise he'd convinced me to give it a try. Aikido had been mostly about taking falls gracefully, but this was another game entirely.

He reached down, grabbing to the back of his leg where I was latched. Without thinking I darted away between his deceptively inadequate legs, unable to brush his support cables and energon lines with my fingers as I went to represent a cut.

His other leg lifted and before I knew what had happened he had dislodged me and I was on the dirt, his complicated foot supports hovering just over me. He shifted his balance back, put his foot down next to me. He bent down, his red eyes flashing merrily.

"Squish!" We chimed together. He'd found ways to 'step' on me all morning, not to mention all the times he'd grabbed me and gently demonstrated how easily he could have simply crushed my chest in his fist or pulled me to pieces.

I climbed to my feet, ignoring my logic processors for the umpteenth time this morning. It'd been doggedly pointing out that he knew how to fight smaller bots because he'd killed many Autobots and civilians just like me during the femme exterminations. Perhaps my LP's obsession was a throwback from Frenzy or Hotrod, both mechs who'd chosen to be Autobots when the war came.

"I still don't see why you think I need to learn this. You said yourself Starscream was fine with you quitting. No Autobot would hurt me, and Starscream has no reason to send anyone after us. We won that fight back in South Lake Tahoe, after all… It was a fight for dominance, right?"

"It was, but… I don't think you understand what happened." Skywarp looked a little uncomfortable. "Maybe _we_ won, but _I _lost. He had me down before you interfered. He won our fight, and if you hadn't jumped in he would've let me go in a few seconds. That was why he was so easy on us… I'd submitted before you interfered."

I gawked at my Seeker. I'd come to think of him as near indestructible, especially under my apparently false impression that he'd beaten his brother that night.

* * *

Four days later I asked him to take me to a highway, one sort of in the middle of nowhere. I wanted a nice stretch of road to practice driving. The Internet had been full of information on how to drive stick, something I'd never bothered to learn as a human, and I was eager to test my knowledge on the road.

He'd brought me to a two-lane desert road. The landscape was flat and the sun beat off of it into my optics like clattering brass, but I didn't mind. Skywarp had dropped me off, told me to have fun and rushed back into the sky.

I transformed into my Elise alt mode. My paint job had mostly healed over, but I was glad Mirage had taught me how to fix my windows before we'd left the base. My interior was heating up, so I rolled down my windows and started my engine, revving it experimentally.

I set out on the road, testing my gears and pedals, trying to practice easy things like stopping and turning, slowing down and speeding up.

Skywarp was flying over the area and I could watch him as long he wasn't directly behind or overhead. I had visual receivers, like little spy cameras, all over the rest of my body. The 'eyes' couldn't quite look straight up, but almost.

He was grace itself in the sky. He twirled, flipped, inverted and weaved through the open air. The parts of me that would make my vocal processors tightened at the beauty of him. It was hard to imagine him, practically dancing up there, cut off from the sky. Even his ungainly robot mode was hard to picture as he swept low along the road, blasting over me and doing a barrel roll before breaking to the left.

Our life in the desert moved at a slow, peaceful pace. We'd spent the last three nights stargazing, among other things. He'd told me so many stories during those chilly nights, mostly pleasant. He had a lot to say about his brothers before the war, before Starscream had seen a chance at power in the Decepticons and talked his brothers into following him.

I'd come to believe Skywarp still thought of Starscream the same way he had when they'd been younger, before the fighting had touched them. Thundercracker was probably still much like he'd been then, but the leader of the trio didn't sound like the brother Skywarp spoke so fondly of. He might admit Starscream was different but deep down he only saw his smart, touchy, snappy little brother.

It didn't matter. I had plenty of suspicion for the both of us.

* * *

There is a new poll on my profile page, about whether I should try a Warp/Frequency prequel or a Warp/Brav sequel. You know how the prequel ends, but it won't have any of that 'wahh being a transformer is haarrrrd' stuff. A sequel would be nowhere near Earth and way way way into the future. Both would be wicked fun, so if you have a preference do let me know ;)


	45. Trust Me

That wasn't the end, sillies!

Oh, and if you tried to vote and it didn't let you, that was my bad. It's fixed now, so if you did manage to vote within the first couple of days of the last update… couldja vote again please and thank you?

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy! Especially thanks to dixiegurl13 for knowing about planes :D

I'm gonna use the term 'stellar cycle' this chap, which is a little more than a year in Beast Wars. I miss that series.

Also, spot the Zoolander and Little Mermaid nods and I'll think about loving you forever : )

* * *

"No. No. And no."

"You haven't let me finish yet."

"Because the answer is no!"

Skywarp glared down at me, and I stared right back.

"Just once," he said, abruptly changing his tack to pleading, all syrupy sweetness. It _was_ hard to resist him when he went all soft on me like that, but what he was asking me to do was ridiculous.

"I'm not walking into the lion's den, Skywarp!"

"Lion?"

"Look it up! Your brother is up to something, I know it! And you want me to go see him? In person? Did you hit you head when I wasn't looking? He thinks I'm an abomination! A failed experiment!"

Skywarp patiently waited for me to finish my tirade, then reached down and engulfed my shoulders in his hands. "He invited you himself. He wouldn't hurt you, little star."

I leaned in a little when he used the pet name, then jerked back as far as his grip would allow. "Sweet talking won't work. I don't believe he's telling you everything."

"Why would he hide anything? And I don't see what's so dangerous about a big kitty cat."

"He has something to hide because he. Is. Evil! And you try fighting a lion when you're six feet tall or less and made of lion food!"

"He's not evil, Bravura. Primus, give him a chance, would you?"

"I think he lost his chance when he implied I'd be a sparkling machine, back before he decided I wasn't even good for spare parts!" I was getting really angry now, and Skywarp was looking hurt and defensive. This was our first fight, and I wished it could have been over something like how to decorate the cave and not his family.

Skywarp didn't want to fight any more than I did. "Please, Bravura," he murmured. "For me. I'll stay with you the entire time. Plus, Thundercracker likes you. He won't let Starscream try to hurt you if I ask him to back me up." He leaned in and pressed his lips to my forehead. "For me."

I sighed heavily and leaned my cheek against his when he drew back a little. "You're going to get me killed, flyboy…"

"So you'll come?" His excitement was so palpable I could've popped it with a needle.

"Yes… But only because it'd break your heart if I didn't."

He swept me up and squeezed me until I started to creak, then set me back down and looked to the sky. "I'll tell him."

I heaved a sigh through my vents, watching his distracted expression while he spoke to his brother. I was jealous; he could speak to his brother, and they weren't even twins. Why couldn't I reach Hotrod? Was it just because I didn't have the equipment?

Maybe I could pawn a few doodads off of Starscream before he tried to finish me off.

I turned to survey out little home. Skywarp had gotten the explosives and a flattened a large space out weeks ago, and he'd carved out a comparatively shallow but very tall cave at the same time. He'd gotten his claws on a load of sheet metal, then he'd covered it in dirt and ash to hide the shine. The metal had been propped and welded into a shelter and was now an extension of the cave, though he had to slouch to enter.

I'd been e-mailing Mirage on a daily basis, ever since he'd sent me a panicky e-mail after nearly a week without any word from me. He knew I was ok from Hotrod, but he wanted to know exactly what sort of ok. He wanted information, and there were faint suggestions that he knew what Skywarp and I had been up to at night… Hotrod wouldn't tell something like that, would he?

Hotrod sent me e-mails often too, usually asking why I'd had a particular emotion that day. The first one had berated me for not even waiting a day after my choosing the Seeker to get physical with him. I could tell he was trying hard to sound like a protective big brother, but he'd felt very jealous for some time before he'd sent the mail.

I'd tried to explain everything to Hotrod, but his responses had been persistently disapproving on the subject of Skywarp.

I knew that if I asked Mirage or Hotrod for advice about going to the Decepticon base he'd tell me to run the other way.

But Skywarp was so _sure…_

He was looking at me now, watching the doubt and confusion play across my face. He swept me up and settled me on his shoulder. It amused him to no end; he knew I wasn't very happy up there, and it made me feel even smaller. Like a child.

"He said to come this evening. Starting last night they've had trouble with airlocks bursting out of nowhere. The Constructicons are in a state of panic trying to figure out what's going wrong. They're blaming inferior Earth materials."

I held onto the wing behind me as he sat down abruptly, then I slithered down into his lap, perched on one thigh and leaning against him. I couldn't stop worrying about the visit.

Skywarp had proven to be particularly sensitive to my feelings. I couldn't know if he was like this with everyone or if he simply knew how to read me in particular, but it saved a lot of time explaining my brief down moments. I still had them, the moments of sadness and regret where I missed a life that was closed to me forever… But even as my thoughts began sneaking to my lost past his hands curled around me and he slouched forward to rest his forehead on mine.

_Everything's going to be ok, little star._

_I trust you._ I twisted a little to bury my face against his heavily armored neck. He'd begun calling me 'little star' when he'd discovered my fascination with the night sky. I'd begged for stories and images about his long lifetime out there. The pictures he'd given me were beautiful, huge suns looking small from across galaxies, asteroid fields dark against cloudy gas giants, an elaborate space station riding solar winds ahead of a magnetic storm…

"Come on, you've barely used your gun since you got it. Let's get some target practice, hmm?" Skywarp tickled a spot on my side, bare of plating, and I shivered with a giggle, swatting his fingers away and leaning back to look at him.

"I don't like shooting."

"_I don't like to shoot, I don't want to fly!_" Skywarp mocked. "What are you so scared of?"

The memory of a gun held close to my head as a weight pressed down on me-

I shook myself, but Skywarp had already seen the distant nausea in my face and sighed. "Ok, you don't have to answer that. I just wish you'd at least _try_ to like flying. It's incredible to be so fast and free…"

"Heights. I don't like heights."

"That's just because you're afraid of falling. If you had wings and a real engine you wouldn't be scared at all."

I shrugged, then turned and hopped off of Skywarp's lap. "Let's stream a movie or something. I just want to chill today, until…" I trailed off.

Skywarp mirrored my shrug. "You pick. I'm not crazy about your human movies."

I smiled. He really was a good mech.

* * *

Starscream contacted his brother late in the evening. We'd gotten bored of Chinese bootlegs and decided to make our valley look a little more inviting by experimenting with rocks, but neither of us were any good at landscaping and so rather than an attractive arrangement of stones we had a lumpy pile of big rocks.

"What an eyesore," I mumbled as Skywarp scooped me up.

"Maybe some… sticks or something?"

I pulled myself up and kissed him lightly, resisting the internal fire that threatened to ignite at the touch. "Or maybe we should just clear that out tomorrow and put in a birdbath."

"You humans waste a lot of time making useless decorations."

"Birds use them."

"Who cares? They're birds. They've lived thousands and thousands of years without fancy vessels to bathe in." Skywarp rearranged me in his arms, then suddenly leapt into the air with a leap. His engines were familiar to me now, but still startling after the long quiet of the desert.

We climbed high into the cloudless sky. I had no idea what the Cybertronian equivalent of adrenaline was, but I was pumped full of it. I wanted to get there and get out as soon as possible.

The bright hot desert I'd become so fond of winked away into a chilly blackness, only to be replaced by a sensation I was unfamiliar with.

I looked around and realized I was feeling sea spray on my plates. Skywarp had teleported in low and was already setting his feet down on a platform with a tall building on its edge, just a few feet above the surface of the choppy gray water.

I looked around and saw that the only breaks in the monotonous expanse of ocean were dark clouds massing on the horizon. After a moment's thought I e-mailed the coordinates of the base to Mirage.

"There's a storm coming… Maybe we should go home," I tried weakly.

Skywarp didn't answer; the double doors on the side building opened and Starscream stepped out. I resisted the urge to lock up.

Skywarp eased me to the ground and walked quickly to his brother. They shared a warrior's handshake, even as Starscream settled his calculating optics on me.

Hotrod was acutely aware of my sudden distress, and even as I stood there I got an e-mail. _What's wrong?_

_Visiting the in-laws. If it's a trap Mirage has coordinates._ Sent.

"Bravura," Starscream began with what looked like a fake smile, "I'm so pleased you could make it. There's no reason to let the past get in the way of a… friendship."

Outrage and disbelief blossomed in the connection with my twin as he received my letter.

It was all I could do to keep my mouth from dropping open from the combined onslaught of powerful emotion and Starscream's freaky behavior. Skywarp's encouraging look was the only thing that could've made me speak at that point.

"Er. Yes."

Starscream seemed satisfied by my staccato response. "Come in, come in. Skywarp knows his way around already, but you need the tour!"

He herded us into the building, small when occupied by such large mechs. The door shut and then the flooring lowered into a much larger elevator. It was at least the size of the platform above and easily cleared the two Raptor's heads. It began its downward movement, giving me a lurch.

I surreptitiously compared the two brothers. They were a bit like human twins; when you first looked they seemed exactly the same, but in reality there were distinct differences. Skywarp was slightly taller. He had more plating and less exposed machinery on his front than Starscream. Skywarp's face was more open somehow, though he had thick armor plating over most his head just like his brother. Not to mention the purple detailing.

Now that the lighting was fair and I wasn't fighting for my life, I took in Starscream's appearance. He wasn't solid gray at all. There were black symbols painted all over his wings and legs, symbols I'd neither seen in the uneven streetlights nor in the darkness of the back road.

He caught me looking and smiled indulgently. I ducked a little behind Skywarp's leg, looking down nervously. This couldn't be the real Starscream. Could it?

"That's a lovely color you took on with your alt mode, Bravura," Starscream said. I looked up to find he was still watching me. "An improvement on those worn out pastels and pinks most neutral femmes seem to favor so much."

"Thank you," I said quietly. I wasn't about to tell him I hadn't chosen the color, having been too busy trying to avoid him on his rampage to be picky.

"Polite," he said to Skywarp with a nod.

"Not always," my Seeker laughed. "You should have seen her when I tried to take her skydiving. She's stubborn about heights."

I straightened stiffly. He'd wanted to carry me up almost to the point where the atmosphere gave out and then _drop_ me. He claimed he'd follow me the whole way and catch me, but I didn't want to risk being a sand pancake.

Starscream laughed, a relaxed version of the madman's cackle he'd used before. "How strange. She should be itching to fly; look at those legs." He was eying me again. I tried ducking behind Skywarp completely to hide the digitigrade legs I'd inherited, but he nudged me to the front of him. I shifted nervously. How long could it possibly take to get down to this damnable base?

"She's got the same potential as Frenzy did. Before."

Starscream nodded. "You did say she was metallically identical. He could've been a Seeker, Bravura, if he'd only chosen to fly. And joined the winning side, of course."

"Oh," I said softly. He sounded so _pleasant_, talking about Frenzy. His kind had driven the mech to madness. It wasn't a pleasant subject at all.

Starscream moved forward just as the elevator shrieked to a sudden stop. I lost my balance, too nervous to be very collected, and recoiled when it was Starscream's hand that steadied me. I saw my reaction had irritated him, but he said nothing and straightened as the doors opened into starkly lit hallways.

He motioned for us to follow. I was immediately reminded of Autobot City. This place was nothing like the base Skywarp had scraped out of the ground. That oversized hole had been warm and pleasant; this base was all business.

Starscream was going on about capacity (they could house an alarming number of warriors) and depth (nearly a mile below the surface) but I was more focused on staying as close to Skywarp as I could without tripping him.

I glanced down an intersection as we passed through it. Skywarp halted suddenly and twisted to look down at me. Starscream stopped a few steps later and looked back.

"What?"

"I don't know, she's looking- oh." Skywarp laughed.

I'd seen a pair of Constructicons down the hallway. Without meaning to I'd both planted my feet in fear and latched onto Skywarp, tugging him to a halt.

Starscream peered down the hallway and laughed. "They're ugly, aren't they?"

I stared at the floor in embarrassment until I was scooped up and arranged on Skywarp's shoulder.

_Relax,_ he sent through our contact. _Nobody will hurt you._

"She's a little big for that, don't you think?" Starscream asked, the snobbish edge to his tone barely disguised.

"She's light. Besides, she's not even twenty stellar cycles old. Humans mature quickly, but she's not grown at all."

Starscream grunted, "You'll spoil her."

_Please put me down,_ I begged silently.

Skywarp looked at me in surprise. _Why?_

_I don't want him to think I'm weak._

Skywarp lowered me back to the ground, which earned a nod of approval from his brother.

Starscream regarded the pair down the hallway. "They're trying to improve the base's efficiency." They were crouched over an open panel in the wall, discussing something too quietly to be heard. "We have generators working overtime and it's barely enough to keep us going on minimum. Not to mention all the energon we have to produce down here. Fossil fuels just aren't feasible for conversion."

"What happened to the solar panels on the surface?" Skywarp asked as we began to move down the hall again.

"Most of them snapped off in the last storm. Speaking of energon, you haven't had any in weeks, have you Bravura? How'd you like to top off?"

"I'm fine, thank you." I tried to meet Starscream's optics but had to look away quickly. I didn't like his expression. If I needed energon, I'd ask the Autobots.

"No, I insist. You really shouldn't put your system through any hardships, as young as you are. Right, brother?"

"Yes…" Skywarp said uncertainly.

"Excellent! Come, I'll show you the dispenser."

I felt as lost in this base as I once had in Autobot City. This place didn't even have the convenience of arrows and directions written in English.

In a few minutes the Decepticon stopped at a closed door. He pressed his huge hand to a glowing pad high on the wall; I'd have to stretch to reach the bottom of it.

The doors slid open from the center. Starscream motioned for us to go in first, so Skywarp nudged me in. The dark room flickered to brightness as soon as I set foot inside, and I examined the place as the Seekers slid in behind me. I moved self-consciously, aware that I was in the way.

The room, like everything in the base, was oversized. Massive tables and chairs were smattered here and there. A huge flatscreen TV was mounted to the wall, the picture split into four different news stations.

Starscream made his way to the back of the room, gesturing for Skywarp and me to sit down at one of the smaller tables. The chairs were still a bit big for me, so I had to sort of jump into one and pull myself up awkwardly to be seated.

Skywarp tugged his chair close to me and sat. There weren't any arms on the deep-seated furniture; some of these mechs were ridiculously wide, rather like the Seekers.

I watched Starscream at what was apparently the energon dispenser. It was set into the wall next to another glowing blue panel, along with a keypad. Starscream pressed his clawed hand to the panel, then punched in a long series of numbers.

Two large energon cubes tumbled out of the dispenser into his waiting hands, followed by a smaller one. They were almost white, they were so bright.

As the Decepticon sat down across from us, Skywarp protested. "High-grade? She doesn't need that stuff."

"Oh come, can't we celebrate a little? A toast?"

Skywarp sighed, then reached across the table to pluck one of the big cubes and my small one. He handed the smaller one to me with a whisper. "Only a little, it's strong."

Starscream had that smile again, one that reminded me of a priest surveying his flock. I wasn't fooled. I was no sheep.

Starscream held up his cube, followed by Skywarp, so I did as well.

"To the future," Starscream said seriously.

"The future," Skywarp said energetically, while my own toast was a subdued echo.

The two larger mechs tossed back the cubes, so I tasted mine. It didn't seem all that different to me.

The two Seekers began chatting about their old alt modes after Skywarp asked if he had any blueprints stored. I absently sipped at my cube, admitting to myself that it did feel nice to refresh my lines.

Solar power could renew energon indefinitely, but it did get a little less efficient the longer you did it. Mine hadn't begun to do that yet, in fact I'd read it took years to become noticeable, but fresh energon was pleasant anyway.

Even sipping only a little at a time, it didn't take long for me to begin to feel the effects of the high-grade. Comparing this to my first experience with regular grade was like comparing a little piece of chocolate to a venti double shot orange mocha frappuccino.

I caught myself laughing at something that wasn't particularly funny. I didn't even mind the amused look Starscream was wearing; he wasn't so bad. He looked just like Skywarp, and Skywarp was hot. Not perfect David-statue hot, but smokin' nonetheless. I drained the last of my cube, then eyed it with a giggle. I ran out!

I repeated my observation out loud to the Seekers, and Starscream got up, taking my cube with him. I tried checking out his butt, but Transformers don't really have butts, and especially not Seekers. They were too pointy.

I slid out of my chair and laughed.

"Man, that storm's really blowin'! The floor's moving, 'Warp!"

I held my hands out to either side and crossed the few feet to my Seeker's chair, then started crawling up his leg.

"Stop. Stop it!" I yelled as I slipped a little.

"Stop what?" He asked. He knew what he was doing. So I told him,

"You know! You're… wiggling around! Like one a those… wigglin' things. God, what are those things called? Never mind. You're such a nice boyfriend!" I squeaked as he pulled me up into his lap.

"I don't think she needs anymore, Starscream."

"Oh, don't be such an oil slick. She's enjoying herself."

"Yeah, 'Warp. Don't be a mud in the stick in the mud in… Hmm." I reached out and took the cube from Starscream's waiting hand. "Why d'they call you Starscream? Is it you screaming, or the stars? Or is it stars cream and not star scream? Ha. Haha!"

I took another long sip from my cube even though Skywarp was clearly unhappy about it. I twisted around, cube clenched tightly in one hand, and pounded my Raptor's chest affectionately. "You are just the coolest, nicest, tallest guy I know. Just, really. The tallest."

"Thank you."

"You're _welcome!_ Because you deserve it."

"Very affectionate little thing," Starscream commented.

"Yeah. Thanks," Skywarp rumbled.

"Well, she opened up, didn't she?"

"She's drunk of her aft. She probably won't even remember this tomorrow."

"She's right heeere!" I sang, then sipped at my cube again. "Why under the sea? Why not on the sand? Is it 'cause life is much bettah down where it's wettah and not on the land?" I laughed uproariously, then climbed to my knees and leaned across the table, not even waiting for a response from Starscream. "You," I said as seriously as I could, "were a jerk, before. So why, man?"

"Bravura," Skywarp chided.

"It's alright," Starscream soothed. He really wasn't that bad. Why didn't I like him? "I was a 'jerk' when she met me. I got a little ahead of myself, that's all. I've seen the error of my ways."

A little voice in my head was trying to tell me something, but I ignored it. It was boring. "I know, right? How'd you build this place so fast? All you clankers seem to build so freakin' fast!"

The door slid open and a Constructicon walked in. "Holy cow they _are_ ugly," I hissed noisily to Starscream.

"Thrust sent in a transmission," the Constructicon said. Which one was he? "The part isn't working. They need the spare if you want everything operational on schedule."

"The moon project?" Skywarp asked.

"It's not really made of cheese," I informed the Seekers.

"Yes… I knew they'd need that slagging spare… I'm going to have to leave you two for now and drop it off."

"I used to dream of skiing down a mountain of moon cheese."

"Well…" Skywarp began.

"I called them the 'Swiss' Alps. Get it? 'Cept Swiss cheese has holes in it..."

Starscream paused and listened expectantly. "Yes?"

"Yeah, not so great for skiing."

"I could take it. I'd be able to do it a lot faster," Skywarp said reluctantly.

"You're not supposed to help them!" I whispered violently.

"That would save time…" Starscream said thoughtfully. "You'd leave Bravura here alone?"

"Well… I don't think she'll mind much right now."

"Dude I'm so telling on you!"

"I'm not breaking any agreements, Bravura."

"Still!"

Skywarp stood up, then set me down on the chair. "Show me the part, Mixmaster."

In a moment it was just Starscream with me at the table.

I eyed him, smiling. He smiled back.

"You're enjoying your time with Skywarp?" He asked politely.

"Yes. He's the best."

"The best what?"

"The best… in generneral. Gernenalal."

"General?"

I stood up and leaned over the table again, pointing at the Seeker. "Yes! Exactly! Man you're so smart!"

He smiled. He was kinda cute, like Skywarp. Skywarp was still the smokin' hottest. "Would you like to see my lab?"

"Do you do experiments? Like with the little volcanoes? I always wanted to make a little volcano!"

"No, I do much more important experiments." The Seeker stood and took his cube, which was still pretty darn full, and my empty one back to the dispenser. He came back to me after he'd put them away. "May I show you?"

"Yesss," I said dramatically, spinning and leaping off of my chair. I stumbled and laughed. "Man, fix the floor, Stars-cream."

"I'll be sure too. Shall I carry you until then?"

"Sure, 'Warp does all the time."

The halls were very blurry. I didn't like it, and made sure Starscream knew all about how much I disliked the decorating. It seemed that we got to his lab super fast. He set me on a table like Ratchet's.

"Do you know what happened to all the femmes?" Starscream asked gravely.

"Yeah, you killed 'em."

"Yes, we did. It was the biggest mistake we ever made. The All Spark is gone. Our race is in shambles, and with this war soon there will be nothing left but a few miserable survivors outliving their extinction."

I nodded. "It's sad."

"It's very sad. But I think there might be a solution. I think you're the key."

"Haha, no way!" I exclaimed.

"Yes… way. You see… I took Skywarp's machine. The one he used to heal you. But I'm having trouble getting the results I want. The experiments don't create happy and healthy Cybertronians like you. I get lumps of cold metal. I want you to tell me how they kept you alive."

"Um… when?"

He hissed. "When you became Cybertronian."

"Oh! Ok. Well, I pretty much died. My body rotted off. Sounds gross."

"Yes, I know that. But how did you get a spark?"

"Hotrod gave me a piece of his spark. It's why I'm not a really a girl. I've got a boy's spark."

The tiny voice in my head was practically screaming for attention now. There was something else, a feeling… Not my feelings. Angry and anxious.

"How did he give you his spark?" Starscream leaned in close.

"I don't know. I was like, dead."

Starscream snarled. "How can you not know? Didn't you care to ask? Do your origins mean nothing to you?"

"Dude I don't think they get it either! Relax, jeeze!" I crossed my arms and looked away from Starscream sulkily. "Hey," I suddenly realized. "How are you getting lumps of metal? What kind of… Are you experimenting on real people?"

Starscream glared at me and turned away.

"Omigawd you _are!_ That's so wrong! They have feelings! It hurts like hell! How can you do that?!" I stood up and promptly fell backwards off of the table. I pulled myself to my knees. "I don't feel very good."

"I wonder…" I heard Starscream mutter. "Its spark is neither here nor there… If a true mech's spark created a semi-femme spark when given to a female… Could that spark produce a spark femme enough to bear young?"

I crawled out from behind the table and glared at him. "You _are_ a jerk. Where's Skywarp?" I asked shrilly. "I want to leave!"

The Raptor rounded on me. "Oh, no. You're not going anywhere. I have an experiment to conduct…"

He started coming at me, so I started crawling away. I'd just made it to my feet when a hand curled around me and lifted me up. I felt a sharp sting in my neck. Everything melted into darkness.

* * *

_"I don't know what happened! She was giddy, like she was drunk, then angry, then scared, and then nothing!"_

_"If these coordinates are right she's in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico. We'll never get there in time to help her."_

_"Slag it all, what has Skywarp done?"_

Voices, in my head… "Hotrod?" I tried to ask.

_"Is she in any immediate danger now?"_

_"I can't tell, she's out cold. Wait-"_

"Please help me," I tried to tell him.

"Nobody is going to help you now," a low voice said nearby.

I shook myself. It took me a moment, but my LP supplied what I needed to know. Starscream, the femmes, my spark… Skywarp, gone.

I onlined my optics. I was on the floor. My arms were cuffed behind my back. The high-grade still had me feeling slightly buzzed.

"I'm glad you're awake. The subject is ready."

I looked around frantically, found Starscream hunched over a table. A muffled sound, panting… The machine!

"No!" I screamed. "No, you'll kill her!"

"Not if you help me," Starscream growled. He came for me and there was little I could do to avoid him. He picked me up roughly and carried me to the table.

Terror and pity spiked through me. The victim was a thirty-something woman with dark olive skin and black hair. She was writhing as much as she could pinned to the huge table, trying to scream around the gag in her mouth. Her eyes were wide open, staring at nothing. The machine was on. She probably wasn't even aware of what was going on around her.

Even as I watched metal started punching through her skin from the inside. It snaked and curled in tiny, evil looking tendrils. They were dark, not chrome like mine had been.

"You're killing her," I repeated hopelessly.

"Give her your spark and she'll live," Starscream said with a shake.

"I don't know how!" I moaned. "I don't even know if I'd live through it!"

"You think I care if you die? I need a femme, not some miserable misfit. Give her your spark!"

He suddenly reached around me and snapped open my chest. I choked back a shriek when I felt a hinge crack. He grabbed me in both hands, then thrust me at the dying woman. "Do it!" He snarled.

Where was Skywarp? _Hotrod, please help me… Please hear me,_

There was no sign from my twin that he'd heard anything. Just rising alarm at my growing terror.

Starscream suddenly smashed me against the woman's chest. I felt her ribs popping…

"NO!" I shrieked. "No, this isn't the way! You can't do this, it's murder! You're killing her for nothing!"

"Then tell me how! Show me!" He pressed me down even harder. The woman's muffled screams trailed away; she couldn't breath.

"I don't know how. Please believe me, I don't know!"

A sudden shift of vertigo, sense of weightlessness… Then harsh reality as my body slammed against the far wall. He'd thrown me. I saw through dizzied optics as he smashed her body himself, silencing the faint noises. _At least she isn't suffering anymore._

My whole body shook with a sob. How many had he killed like that? Did they have families, children?

Starscream turned on me. "I know you have the secret. I don't have much time. You'll give it to me, or you'll suffer like you've never suffered before."

I tried and failed to smother another sob. How could he? How could he do this to people?

He was coming for me. I struggled to get to my feet, trying to wrench my hands free of the cuffs behind me.

"Skywarp! Thundercra-"

He lashed out, smashing me into the wall again. Red lights were popping up like Christmas decorations all over my mind's eye.

He pressed hard, my whole body making frightening sounds as he bent my frame. I screamed as something inside me gave. A flashing red light-

I was wrenched into the air, thrown to the ground. He was saying something, couldn't make it out-

Another scream ripped out of my vocal processors as he stepped on my leg. Something split under the plating. My voice cracked and popped as I hit my volume limit. Another rise into the air, a finger thrust against my throat-

My screams cut off abruptly as he destroyed my vocal processors. The only sounds in the lab were my vents working overtime, a strange moaning coming from my chest, Starscream's whirring mechanics, and the machine angled over the table.

The machine was still on. I stole a glance and saw that the woman's body had been reduced to a mass of bloody wriggling metal. I would've gagged if I could've.

I looked back at Starscream. There was rage in his optics. So much rage, I doubted he remembered what he wanted from me. He only wanted to hurt me now.

Nobody was going to save me this time. I was alone. Skywarp might be locked up somewhere, unable to help. The Autobots were too far away. Thundercracker wouldn't take on Starscream alone. No hope.

Hotrod felt my despair. My connection flooded with support. I could practically here him telling me to keep going. To fight. Run. Whatever it took.

I absorbed the support even as Starscream slammed me to the ground again. His leg raised, aiming for my chest this time. Without thinking it through, I transformed my hands into scalpels and shook them. The cuffs slid off effortlessly. I shoved against the ground, rolled, and just escaped being crushed.

The mech snarled, but I was already on my feet, one hand a tiny, thin blade and the other becoming a tiny gun. The weapon hummed, ready to fire. I glanced around frantically, looking for cover on the way to the door and slapping my chassis shut to protect my spark. He grabbed at me, and I ran- or tried to. My crippled left leg gave, and I was down again, his swipe just missing me. He kicked me, but I latched onto his leg and kicked up off of his toes like Skywarp had taught me. I thrust my scalpel into his leg and slashed as much as I could reach. He roared and swiped at me, but I dropped off and hit the ground on my feet.

I tried to transform, but my systems denied me. The broken leg was misshapen. I spun and fired a shot at Starscream's face just as his hand reached down to grab me. He whipped back as the lucky shot got his cheek, unfortunately a place thick with armor.

I darted in and bodily yanked his foot out from under him, taking away his balance. He wavered and tipped, reached out to balance himself… His hand landed right in the mess of metal and humans remains on the table. It sank into the mass like it was dough, but when he tried to yank free it didn't seem to want to give.

I took the chance to hobble for the door, my crippled leg good for little more than balancing my awkward hops. I could just put weight on the tips of my toes, though it hurt like the Pit. Starscream roared as I muscled my way out of the lab; the door slammed shut behind me.

Stretch of hallway. Left or right? Didn't matter, just move. Energon and coolant were spurting from my leg. I couldn't hope to hide. My body was betraying me. I worked to silence my signatures, even if it was futile. Even if Starscream was right behind me. I had less than a twenty-foot head start at this point. I spun and shot again as Starscream came through the doors, but I missed completely.

I tried to express to Hotrod how sorry I was. I tried. My shuffling steps slowed, but Starscream was coming now, and his pace was as sure as ever. I prepared for the blow, the grab, whatevever pain he'd dole out… Hotrod was trying to emotionally bully me into doing something. But…

I saw the shadow over me, felt the Decepticon's signatures and let out a sigh. This was it?

_Forgive me, Hotrod._

_**NO!**_

I pivoted, rolled under the long clawed fingers reaching for me and agilely slid to a pause between Starscream's legs. I fired up at his crotch and he made a roaring, screeching sound and slammed against the wall for balance when the plasma went exactly where it was supposed to go. Miraculously I was on my feet again and shuffling the other way.

I was rather too shocked to be pleased with myself. There was a snag in my sudden success.

I hadn't done any of those things. I wasn't even the one running now. Somebody was controlling me.

* * *

Still not the end! I think one more long chapter oughta do it :)


	46. Little Star

I managed to mess up the poll again last time. I appreciate votes, but unless I just get like 20 Frequency votes (nobody voted for her in the poll I had to delete, but I had several for brav) I'll be plowing into a sequel.

There is much talk of upgrades in this chap, mostly due to mentions of them in dixiegurl13's story The Claiming.

Warning- longest chapter I've ever put out by a **lot**. Over 11k words! I really wanted this to be the last chap : )

* * *

_Who?_ I demanded.

_Who else? It's me, Bravura. Primus, your legs are weird…_

_ Hotrod? How?_

_No clue. You seemed pretty sure you were going to die, and I wasn't going to let that happen. So I was reaching…_

_And now you're here? What about _your_ body?_

_Um. Well, I don't know. Mirage was with me, I'll be ok. _

The whole conversation took barely more than a couple of sentences. Our thoughts were so tightly intertwined that we needed no time for comprehension, we simply knew as soon as the other thought it… But he was in control of my body completely.

_Where now? _He asked, sounding grim. _Your leg's pretty bad, isn't it?_

_Pretty bad. And my chest, and something else in there._

_Don't I know it. Think it's a hydraulic. You'll feel that in the morning. Jesus Crisis, I'm amazed you lasted as long as you did._

_Do you mean Christ?_

_No, I thought it was pretty witty. You know, because it's a crisis._

_How about we not think and just run?_

Starscream was trying to follow, but he was struggling. Hotrod had gotten him right in the hip, and the top-heavy flyer was having obvious troubles.

_Run where?_ He sounded so calm. Was he always like this when things got rough?

I didn't have an answer. _Just run._

We glanced over our shoulder just in time to see Starscream stumble to a halt and begin clawing at one hand with the other. We focused in sharply and saw metal that didn't match his was glinting all over his joints. Apparently it was doing more than we could see, because he seemed pretty distracted by it.

I silently thanked whatever heavenly beings that might have been listening for the dead woman's apparent revenge. She deserved something for her suffering.

We cut down a hallway, another, another… No sign of Starscream. We barely missed getting spotted by pair of Constructicons as they worked on an airlock.

Airlocks. Broken, faulty airlocks.

_Can we swim?_ I asked Hotrod.

_Sort of… I don't know if your engines can, but most of us have the upgrades put in to propel us._

_Will we drown?_

_We don't breathe, Bravura. We vent to help cool down. The things that shouldn't get wet are watertight. _

_Right, right. Ok. We have to find an airlock and get outside. We'll silence our signature and hide in the dark._

_And who's going to fish you out?_

_I don't know. I'd rather have a shot on the bottom of the ocean than stump around until somebody spots us._

_Me too… But where's an airlock?_

Between the two of us we reasoned where the next airlock ought to be, based on shape and structure and plenty of other things we entirely guessed on.

We were wrong. We tried again, and again a third time after that. I was beginning to lose hope despite Hotrods dogged confidence when we stumbled on the airlock by accident. It squirted us in the face as we hop-slid by.

We recoiled from the thin jet of water, then turned to look at what we'd discovered.

_Told you we'd find one, _Hotrod gloated even as he powered our gun.

_We got lucky._

_I'm always lucky. _He looked around for something to hold on to. _It will happen fast. We can't get blown down with the water._

_You're driving. _

_Good thing, too._

He positioned us against the outer wall, next to the airlock and opposite the leak_._ Our scalpel hand raised in the air, then to my shock stabbed straight into the wall. It bit deep and stuck even when he gave it a good pull. He nodded to himself, then pointed our gun at the airlock's seal and fired without warning.

The water exploded in like a cannon, bashing the airlock into the far wall of the hallway and sweeping our feet out from under us. The blade held, and soon Hotrod had transformed our gun back into a hand and pulled us into the airlock under the full strength of the rushing water. Our blade took some work, but with some wiggling that was free too.

He forced us out through the airlock and jammed the scalpel into the outside hull of the base, using that to lever our way out of the worst of the current. Using our blades like mountain climbing equipment we stabbed and levered our way down until the deadly sucking power of the broken airlock no longer threatened to carry us back into the base.

Then he let go. We sank fast, so fast that when we hit the bottom I was unprepared. We could feel the silt billow around us, but I was more interested in how the water intensified the pain in my leg. The pressure was pushing the wound closed, preventing some but not all of my fluid loss.

Hotrod offlined our optics; they were useless down here, and only served as spotlights. He was focusing on quieting our signature when the full force of where we were struck me.

A mile below the surface. No air. No help.

I tried to suck in a breath, but Hotrod's will overshadowed mine.

_Calm down. Bravura, we're ok!_

Drowning. I was drowning. The irrational human part of me was clawing to the surface, pushing at Hotrod's consciousness.

_I can't breathe!_

I gave one last mighty, vicious push and forced myself back into my limbs, demanding that my vents try to suck in water. The difficulty of it frightened me even more, and I stumbled blindly in the slimy cloud of mud.

_Hotrod!_

No response.

_Where are you?_

Then I realized what I'd done. I'd pushed him back into his own body. I could feel him, distressed and disappointed… and then a surge of hope and angry, resentful determination.

But I was alone in the dark. I had no idea what to do… Try to move, or stay? Could anyone but Hotrod hope to find me if I strayed away?

Stay, then. I lowered myself into the silt, forcing myself to focus on my signature. The silt was settling on me already, camouflage against unfriendly eyes. I tried not to think about the nasty black stuff getting into my leg.

I waited and waited, so long. My internal clock watched minutes creep by at a snail's pace, but then something broke my self-enforced silence.

_Neutral Skywarp, _a tinny fuzzy voice hissed to life on my emergency frequency. I could barely understand it. _ You've been betrayed. She's in dying in the mud._

Dying? I didn't feel like I was dying. I felt very peaceful. The invasive cold was having the same sort of effect it would've on a human body. Everything was pleasantly numbed, even my splintered leg. I onlined my optics and was awed by the faint cloud of glowing blue light curling at my feet. So pretty.

I trailed my fingers through it, sighing happily even thought it was hard to make my vents work. It liked my hurt leg especially. I leaned closer to look at the pretty blue and saw that little white trails curled through it like silky ribbons. I tried to lean closer and found I couldn't quite hold myself up any more. It was fine. I was so tired. Maybe a good recharge…

The water billowed, rocking me hard enough to tip my precariously balanced body on its side. I didn't fight it. If it was a shark… Sharks don't eat metal.

I could feel the shark moving the water all around me, then it struck me on the side. I flinched despite my exhaustion and onlined my optics, which had turned off on their own. The shark's glowing red eyes stared down at me hungrily.

_Stupid shark,_ I said after reaching out to touch it. _I will give you indigestion._

_I'm so sorry,_ the shark said.

_Don't be, shark. What kind of shark are you?_

_I'm a horrible failure._

The shark lifted me up in his big strong flippers, cradled me like someone I used to know.

The water churned, then everything was cold and I felt so heavy. I wanted to scream, especially when the warmth came, bringing the weight of gravity with it, and my leg hurt so much. I was jounced hard, repeatedly, but I couldn't scream.

"Stop! Don't move or we'll shoot!"

"It's me! The neutral. I have the femme. She's dying, look at her! You have to let me in."

"Femme? Let me see… Holy shit, it's Bravo! What the hell did you do to her?"

_Is that Zeke?_ I asked the shark blearily.

"Whoa, stand down," a familiar voice yelled desperately from below. I could hear two engines.

"They're friendlies," another cried.

_Mirage and Hotrod?_

"Yes, it's them. Hold on, we'll get you help."

More jouncing, and too much pain to focus on anything else.

When I was able to focus again I was pinned to a table by several sets of hands. I tried to scream, but the noise couldn't make it past my chest and came out as a grinding, squealing moan. My leg was melting.

"Bravura, can you hear me? Calm down! We've given you a transfusion, but Ratchet's got to fix your leg. We can't knock you out, you're too traumatized already."

_Hotrod!_ I mentally shrieked into every hand that was touching me.

"Yes, I'm here. It's me. Calm down, honey, calm down."

One of them leaned over me, and though my leg was still dipped in lava I felt better. Someone was singing to me, pulsing to a beat I knew better than I knew myself.

I latched onto that song for dear life, and it came closer, rang louder. _Don't leave me,_ I murmured into all of the hands. _Please, please don't leave me._

One pair of hands withdrew, but I couldn't pay much notice. All I could think about and stay sane was the music.

* * *

I woke up, not knowing when I'd fallen asleep. I hurt all over, but the music was still pulsing, albeit quietly now. My vents shuddered. Some water still pooled in the piping. A hand squeezed tightly on mine.

"You're awake," Hotrod said with relief.

I tried to speak, but nothing came out.

"Your vocal processors are disconnected for now. Starscream only managed to dislodge them. Ratchet's got everything fixed up. He just wants to let them heal for a few days before you use them. You're not allowed to try walking for a week."

_How did I get here?_ I asked in confusion.

"I called Skywarp on the emergency frequency. He heard me, finally… What was he doing off planet? Anyway, I gave him the best clue I could without giving you away completely. He found you and brought you home."

_Where is he now?_

"He told me he was going to kill his brother. We're all rooting for him."

I struggled upright, something in my chest protesting against the sudden movement. I saw we were still in the repair bay.

"Relax. Calm down," my brother tried to gently push me down, but I pushed him away and glared at him urgently, then snatched his hand back into mine.

_Starscream's been kidnapping human women and putting them under Skywarp's machine. He's trying to make a femme. He wanted me to help him. He's not going to give up, Hotrod!_

Hotrod stared at me blankly. "That's why he almost killed you?"

_I couldn't tell him anything. I didn't know anything, thank Primus. He gave me a bunch of high-grade, got Skywarp to leave…_

I wanted to see my Seeker so badly. I wanted him to hold me together; I felt so broken.

_How do I reach him? He needs to know what happened. Starscream will lie, trick him…_

Hotrod shrugged. "He has to come back himself, unless you want everyone to hear on the emergency frequency. I don't know if he has any private channels running."

_Private channels? Is that how you talk to the other Autobots?_

"We're all fitted with the equipment for it when we sign up, but even then you need the right encryption programs. We try to change them every few hundred years."

I fell silent, letting myself relax and eased back down. I pulled my hand away from my spark twin and stared up at the ceiling. I worried about the Seeker.

Hotrod could feel that I wanted to be left alone. He was worried, but he got up and spoke quietly to Ratchet. After a few moments I listened to his feet quietly ringing against the floor as he left the bay.

I fell back into recharge even though I couldn't stop thinking about Skywarp.

* * *

I woke up what felt like seconds later when a loud crash filled the bay. I twisted onto my side, my optics sparkling to life, and saw a broad black and purple winged back as it deposited something on one of the repair bay's benches.

I tried to say his name, forgetting it wouldn't work. I made a frustrated, unhappy whining sound in my chest. It was enough, and the Seeker turned to look at me.

I winced. There was a long gash in the armor of his neck, and he had a few leaks under the plates in his chest.

"You could be a little more respectful of my patient's rest," Ratchet snapped as he came from the back. "What's all that slag?"

"Upgrades for Bravura. Starscream didn't need them."

"Decepticon equipment? You except me to install that in her?"

"It's not going to change her operating systems. They're regular old upgrades. Starscream had. a lot of them. I think he was hoping he'd have a small legion of femmes to give them to."

Ratchet growled, then began examining the equipment. "I'm going to do a full check on all of this. Nothing gets in her system before I clear it. Perceptor should look too, if he doesn't mind."

"I don't," the scientist said from his cluttered station. He was so focused at his work, I hadn't even noticed him.

Skywarp nodded, then stood there awkwardly. I whined again, and he looked at me. He looked so guilty.

I reached out to him with one hand, heaving a sigh of relief when he came to me. He took my hand, leaning over me. His shoulders sagged.

_I worried about you,_ I told him.

_I had to take care of something._

_Whooping Starscream?_

He tilted his head a little, so I reached up and stroked the plating on his chest. _Hotrod told me. I hope you kicked his aft into the sun._

He smiled bitterly. _Not quite, but it'll be a while before he flies again. I took some upgrades for you. I know you don't want to fly but… I got the smallest tetrajet blueprints I could find, as well as the flyer package. There's a ground-pounder pack too._

_We'll see._ I scooted over and leaned against the Seeker. _You should have Ratchet look at you. _

_No, I'm fine. I few nicks I can fix myself. Oh, there's a field repair installation too, a laser gun, communications suite… Everything you'll need._

I didn't like the mood he was putting off. _Can you ask Ratchet if I can go with you when you recharge? I don't like it here._

Skywarp looked away, sighing so quietly I wouldn't have noticed if I weren't pressed to his chest.

"Ratchet," he said softly. "Is she well enough to bunk with me tonight?"

Ratchet glared up at him from the fresh equipment. "Can't you control yourself until she's had a chance to recover from the shock? She's in no condition to be engaging in _any_ kind of activity," he said, his voice full of meaning.

_Tell him it's not like that. Tell him I asked. Please._

"She wants me to tell you it was her idea. She doesn't want to spend the night in the repair bay. We won't do anything but recharge."

Ratchet grumbled under his breath for a moment, then finally grouched out a "fine" before returning to his work.

I checked my clock and was shocked to see it was already late. I'd slept the entire day.

"Can I get some energon from you, or should I get it from the rec. hall?" Skywarp asked.

Ratchet waved to the cooler irritably, so Skywarp left me briefly to pluck out a couple of cubes. He gave one to me, and together we downed the fuel. He took the cubes back, then stood over Ratchet for a while.

"Anything I can help with?"

Ratchet looked up sharply, surprised. When he spoke he sounded much less grumpy. "I have things under control here. Just keep an eye on her leg. She's not to walk, so you'll have to carry her. Bring her in tomorrow afternoon so I can check on her progress."

Skywarp nodded, then returned to me.

"Ready?" He asked. I nodded, so he picked me up like I was made of fine china. As soon as he'd settled me in his arms I pressed as tightly to him as I could to listen to his systems. It took some of the edge off of the neediness I was feeling.

"Oh," Ratchet said as we walked out. "C-11 should be outfitted for someone your size."

On the way I heard a mech pass in the hallway, but I pressed my face against the Raptor's chest rather than look to see whom. I didn't look up until the door clicked shut on our dark quarters. Skywarp went straight to the berth and deftly slid down onto it without bumping me once.

I carefully pulled myself up until I could see him, my leg protesting faintly when I let it clink too hard against him.

He wouldn't look at me.

_What's wrong?_ I asked.

He dragged his optics down to me as if it were painful. _Let's just recharge._

My whole being flinched at the detached feeling that came along with the message. _Did I do something?_

_No!_ He shook his head. _It's just that… You didn't want to go. You told me not to trust him, and I ignored you. I left you alone when you were compromised. Do you realize how close you were to dying? Fifteen more minutes down there and Ratchet wouldn't have been able to bring you back._

I thought back to the bottom of the ocean. _You were the shark, _I said with a smile.

_Yes, I was the shark. I understand that humans are generally afraid of sharks._

_You're the handsomest shark I've ever seen._

_And apparently the tallest._

I raised my head from his chest. _What?_

_Nothing, something you said on the high-grade._

I thought hard, then laughed as I was finally able to dredge up the memory. _Wow. Sorry you had to deal with that._

_Not your fault. Little star, I'm sorry but I'm very tired._

_Oh… ok._ I smiled, relieved that we seemed all right. I laid my head back down against his chest and offlined my optics, but stayed awake for a long time listening to his natural hum.

* * *

The next few days were both awkward and extremely interesting. Skywarp let the other mechs take care of me now and then, oddly enough spending a lot of time with Ratchet and Perceptor. Hotrod was with me every chance he got, alternating with Mirage when he had to leave on patrol.

I'd quickly gotten used to being carried bridal style around the base, and the soldiers no longer gave us weird looks. Zeke had gone out of his way to see if I was ok, and I'd spent a few hours in the rec. hall chatting with him when Hotrod had been sent out with Prowl to help Highway Patrol with some kind of high-speed chase that was heading our way.

Since Skywarp had carried me in and apparently refused to leave for the first few critical hours of my treatment, the human soldier had been interested in what my relationship with Skywarp was. He wanted to know if we were 'official' and what that entailed to a Cybertronian. He asked if I would ever have babies with Skywarp, and I'd had to explain I'd been born with a faulty spark. It was true enough and it effectively put an end to that line of questioning.

Mirage had taken me to Optimus, and I'd told him everything I could about what Starscream was doing. The Prime already had the coordinates, which were being monitored via satellite, but very little was going on there. He was more concerned by the moon project but Skywarp was unwilling to tell him much, claiming it wouldn't create any danger to humankind.

I spent a lot of time thinking about the upgrades Skywarp had taken for me. Mirage had admitted I could upgrade at any time, since I was at the age of either an old youngling or a very young adult.

He also told me that if I did choose the flyer package I could still take on an earthbound vehicle, but I would never be happy in one. It was part of the upgrade programming to ease a youngling into their new form.

As a flyer I'd be fast an compatible with a wide variety of weapons. My frame was so small that he doubted I'd have much armor as a flyer, so I'd have to rely on speed and offense. If I chose the 'groundpounder' pack, I'd be much more solidly built with the usual array of weapon capabilities, unless I proved to have a special skill. I'd also have the benefit of being able to blend in with most Cybertronians and avoid suspicion.

My decision was difficult. I was tempted to choose the flyer package for Skywarp's sake, if only to make him happy. My fear of heights was driving me to choose the ground bound package. The added benefit of blending in was appealing; I might not be a fully functioning femme, but I looked enough like one to attract the wrong kind of attention in the wrong kind of company.

I'd gotten my voice back the next day, though Ratchet had advised me to take it easy for a while. Nothing above my 'inside voice.'

Despite this Skywarp and I didn't actually speak much. He had often been quiet in the desert, but it had been a satisfied, happy sort of quiet. Now he wore a grim, determined expression when he thought I wasn't looking. I should have expected what happened.

It had been six days since Starscream had mauled me. Prowl was watching me while Hotrod and Mirage were on Patrol. Skywarp was supposedly in the repair bay with Ratchet, who had grudgingly learned to like the ex-Decepticon. It was getting late, so Prowl took me back to the quarters Skywarp and I had been sharing.

"Goodnight, Bravura. Hotrod should be free tomorrow if Skywarp is busy again."

"Thanks, Prowl. I appreciate it."

He smiled to me and dimmed the lights on his way out, closing the door quietly behind him. I leaned back on the recharge bench to wait for Skywarp. I had trouble sleeping without him, but he always came to bed before it got too late.

* * *

I woke with a small shriek, groping for Skywarp. The big bench was cold and empty except for where I huddled in the corner against the wall. I'd been unconsciously replaying a memory involving Starscream and the dead woman. Her face haunted me.

Where was the Seeker? Should I go looking for him? It was three in the morning but I wasn't technically supposed to walk yet… I tried to wait, but after only a few minutes I slid off the bench and went out into the hallway, stepping gingerly on my weaker leg. I made a beeline for the repair bay.

The lights in the bay were dim. Ratchet and Perceptor were nowhere to be seen, and Skywarp was missing. I cut off the anxious whine in my chest and slowly made my way to the upper deck, struggling my way up the stairs. I stopped in the doorway of the deck and scanned the vast room, feeling a pang when he wasn't there.

Walking slowly to the curving glass wall I stared out at the sky, hoping I might see him taking a late night cruise over the base. No luck. I sank to the concrete, struggling to control the sense of foreboding that was building in me. Leaning against the cool glass, I tried to contain my fear, just in case Hotrod was awake on patrol. Skywarp was coming back. He had to…

Hotrod found me in the same position just after eight am.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly, sitting down next to me.

"Do you know where Skywarp is?" I answered his question with another question.

He was quiet, then sighed. "Maybe… Maybe you should just… forget about him. There are plenty of mechs here in the City who care about you. You don't need-"

"You know something?" I hissed, turning to my spark twin.

He looked into my optics for a while, then stared out the window.

"Mirage and I saw him last night when we were trading shifts. He was heading for the mesa. He… asked us to take care of you."

I jerked to my feet. "What does that mean?" My vocal processors were shrill and scratchy as I raised my voice. When he didn't immediately answer I grabbed the plating near his collar and tried to shake him, though he barely moved. "Hotrod, tell me!"

"He left, honey. He's gone."

"Where did he go?"

"He left Earth. He said he had to make up for his mistakes." He winced as bewilderment and betrayal threatened to overwhelm me.

He felt truly sorry, and he was worried about me. I couldn't be angry with Hotrod. A sob shook through me, and I didn't protest when Hotrod gathered me against him and wrapped his arms around me. After a few moments I felt the song, the soothing sensation that had kept me calm in the repair bay.

"What-" my vents heaved involuntarily, cutting off my words. "What is that?"

"What's what?" He murmured, rubbing my shoulder gently.

"The music you're making?"

He stiffened, and the song stopped. "What are you talking about?"

"You did it before, too. After… he brought me back. It's like singing, but not something I can _hear._"

"I don't know," he said simply, continuing to stroke my back. I sighed and leaned against my twin, the nearness of his spark smoothing over some of my grief.

"How could he leave me?" I asked finally after the better part of an hour. "I thought… you know what I thought."

"Yes, I think so."

"If he felt the same way I did then how could he _leave?_" I shuddered again, and Hotrod squeezed me a little tighter.

"Maybe he didn't want you to get hurt out there. Maybe he plans on coming back someday."

"What if he gets hurt? What if he never comes back?"

"I don't know, honey." Hotrod lifted me up and carried me to the stone wall where it met the glass, then slid down the wall with me in his lap. I tried to figure out why this felt so familiar, and finally realized it was because we'd done this before. The only difference was that I'd been extremely uncomfortable with Hotrod and he'd been fighting the truth.

After a long time I fell into recharge in his arms, exhausted from my anxious early morning vigil. I woke up from my uneasy rest to the sound of lightly clicking supports, but didn't online my optics. Hotrod would know I was awake, but whoever was coming wouldn't.

"Is she ok?" Mirage whispered, sliding almost silently to the floor next to Hotrod.

"She didn't take it well. She's afraid he won't come back."

Mirage sighed. "I knew something like this would happen. She got to where she really trusted him, and not only does he let his brother beat her practically to death, he leaves her before she's even healed."

"Probably so she couldn't try to follow him." He stroked my shoulder soothingly as the sorrow trickled back into me.

"It's probably for the best," Mirage said. I felt an unusual dislike for my teacher. "With us she can see what it really means to be a Cybertronian. She can grow up with bots who will lead by example. Maybe she'll even join the Autobots some day."

"I wouldn't count on it. She's no fighter. She locked up down there. I hate to say it, but if I hadn't skipped into her she would've been a goner," Hotrod said. He didn't sound judgmental, just honest.

"Maybe she'd make a good medic? Ratchet might complain about her, but he really does like her. You know how he is."

"We'll see, Mirage. She has to jump this hurdle first, you know? She's pretty hurt, not just on the outside. It's a game of wait and see. Can I ask you a favor?"

"Of course," Mirage said. There was a question in his tone.

"She doesn't like to recharge by herself, and I doubt she wants to wake up alone. Can you take her with you when you go to your quarters?"

"I thought you had the day off," Mirage said.

"I do, but I think I should go talk to someone who knows how human females think. She looks like one of us, be she's still so human in there…"

"Oh. Don't worry, I'll take care of her."

Hotrod and Mirage stood. I flicked my optics on as Hotrod gave me to my teacher. I looked up at Mirage, then to Hotrod questioningly.

"What's going on?" I asked.

He smiled knowingly. I was putting on a show for Mirage. "Just going to go see some friends."

"Why can't I come?"

"I don't think you're ready for the road just yet. Don't worry, I'll be back before sundown."

I sighed and relaxed into Mirage's steady arms.

"At least pretend to be happy to see me," Mirage said with mock sensitivity. "I know I'm no fun, but at least I don't shoot imaginary Decepticons in my recharge."

"Hey, that was only once, and I probably sensed danger," Hotrod said with a laugh.

"Yeah, tell that to Tracks."

"Tracks had it coming. He was in my bubble."

"Your 'bubble?' You don't have a bubble."

"I do when it comes to Tracks."

"Who's Tracks?" I asked quietly.

"A good bot, and don't let Hothead tell you any different," Mirage said with a chuckle. "Now, I just got off of a ten hour patrol and would like a recharge."

The two mechs began to move for the door, Mirage's gait so smooth I barely felt the jolts from his footsteps in my leg.

"Do you think it's odd that we adapted to the sleep needs here?" Hotrod asked Mirage, letting the bigger mech go first down the stairs.

"Do you mean how we tend to want to recharge as much as the humans want to sleep?"

"Yes. I used to be able to stay up for orns without needing a break," Hotrod said smugly.

"You exaggerate. We just tune to the day-light cycles."

I stopped listening to the mechs then. I was still in shock over being abandoned so completely. What could he possibly want to do, where could he possibly go that I couldn't help him? I valiantly kept my sobs from bubbling out. I didn't want Mirage to see me crying. He cared about me, but this time he didn't really understand.

* * *

The next several days allowed me to adjust to Hotrod's schedule. I recharged when he did, curled against him on the berth that didn't really fit us both. He rarely spoke of Skywarp, so sometimes I was actually able to forget how sad I was. I spent a lot of time in the rec. hall, usually seeing Zeke during mealtimes, though we didn't usually talk about anything special.

Mirage seemed determined to get me involved in the repair bay. I reluctantly followed him to see Ratchet. The CMO could tell I wasn't very excited about learning his art, but I learned quickly enough so he didn't complain. After a couple of sessions with the gruff (but surprisingly patient) medic I began to realize how different and complicated my metal body was compared to my human one. In some ways it was much simpler.

Optimus Prime gamely volunteered for my soldering lessons. Ratchet had installed most of the equipment Skywarp had taken up for me, though the upgrade packages remained untouched. Once I got the hang of feeding out solder and melting it without causing extra damage to the line I was repairing I proved to be a quick but somewhat rough patch. Ratchet worked with me until I no longer caused the Prime unnecessary pain.

The medic even gave me a basic systems check drill and allowed me to interface into his system. He let a training virus loose into his own system to let me try and catch and kill it. It didn't do him any damage and he could easily snuff it himself, but it took me two days before I could kill the damn thing.

I realized the mechs were all doing their best to distract me from my unhappiness, but the first time I went to the upper deck alone I dissolved into a clattering mess of metal, shaking but refusing to cry. Hotrod was on patrol, but he sent Prowl after me as soon as he realized what was wrong.

I always felt petty when the tactician watched me. He'd lost a brother bond and he hadn't been this much of a mess. All I'd lost was a mech I had no true attachment to. Hotrod was aware of this, so when he went on patrol he preferred to leave me to Prowl rather than Mirage. I loved Mirage dearly, but I still couldn't quite forgive him for being happy the Seeker had left me here.

Apparently Hotrod had gone to visit Mikaela, who in turn had told Bumblebee and Sam what was wrong with me. The yellow Camaro came to visit me nine days after Skywarp left. I'd been sitting with Zeke and a few other soldiers in the rec. hall when the bright yellow paint job in the doorway caught my eye.

He posed a little for me in the doorway. He'd barely straightened before I raced right at him and leaped against him laughing. I hadn't seen him since I'd been human, and my perspective had shifted slightly.

"Damn, Bee! You're a hottie!"

The yellow bot chuckled and bent down to hug me, a song about milkshakes playing briefly over his radios. I stared at him in shock until he grinned and spoke. "My, my… you're a lot bigger than I expected."

"Yeah, takes some getting used to," I said with a smile.

"No, I expected you to be about-" he held his hand about where my chin was. "Have you measured yourself lately?"

"No. Ratchet said I was about nine feet when I came out of it."

"You're more like ten now."

I didn't believe him, so I made him come with me to see Ratchet and find out for sure. Bumblebee was right; I now measured a little over ten feet tall. Ratchet seemed surprised, but he didn't comment on it, just asked us to leave before we broke something.

"You'll grow out of that alt mode in no time," Bumblebee observed.

"Oh, yeah. I guess so. Maybe I'll get a Porsche next time."

"Sam would like that," Bumblebee said, punching in the door code on our way out. We were going to go for a drive.

"How is Sam? Why didn't he come?"

"He's getting ready for college. He leaves in a little over a week." The mech sounded pretty excited.

"Are you going with him?"

"Of course I am! Why would he leave me behind?"

"I don't know… Students don't usually drive much on campus. You might get bored sitting in the parking lot all day."

"We'll figure it out," Bee said confidently.

We left the dark tunnel, stepping into the hot sun. I looked back at the hologram that hid the entrance, then shrugged and transformed.

Bumblebee whistled. "Look at you! Nice bumper!"

I honked my horn, so he transformed and led the way down the mesa.

Eventually Bumblebee asked me about Skywarp. Hotrod had kept him up to speed, but he wanted the story from me. I also told him about my dilemma with the upgrades… to fly or not to fly?

"You know…" Bee said over my radio. "If you were a flyer, you could eventually go after him."

My engine sputtered. "What do you mean?"

"You could leave orbit. Most of us have to get a lift on a carrier mech to get into orbit, strip to our frames, then transform into our space-faring forms."

Hotrod felt the pulse of pure excitement from me. I was so rarely excited these days; he was pretty interested in what could've pulled me out of my melancholy. I opened the e-mail he immediately sent me. _Happy to see Bumblebee? _

_Yes, of course. He's a nice mech, _I sent back.

_I think so too._

I puzzled over that one, until Bee burst out laughing over my radio.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Hotrod."

"What did he say?" I was getting a little irritated. These damn Autobots were such freaking gossips!

"He said I should take you out tonight."

I didn't see how that was funny, but I produced a short laugh anyway. "Maybe next time. We can still hang out for a while."

"I'll see if Sam needs me later," the Camaro said.

"Ok. While you're finding out, let's head back. I was going to get a lesson from Ratchet," I lied.

Bumblebee turned around in a cute little spin, so I tried to copy him with little success. We were soon racing each other back to base. He won.

Bumblebee headed for the upper deck so he'd get cell phone reception while he waited on me, and I practically ran for the repair bay.

"Ratchet, are you busy?" I asked as soon as the door opened.

"Not with anything urgent. Why?"

"I decided I want the flyer upgrade. And the tetrajet alt mode."

"Oh? And what made you choose that?" Ratchet eyed me suspiciously.

"I've always wanted to fly," I lied for the second time that day. "It sounds great."

"Hmm. Perceptor, did you hear that? Our resident youngling would like her upgrade."

The scientist was currently a cross between a telescope and a giant microscope, pointed at something on the table. "Yes, fascinating. If you need help to facilitate the modification feel free to solicit my expertise."

Ratchet sighed at the other mech, then motioned me to an exam table, heading to the cabinet where my upgrade was being stored.

"I'll need to shut you down for this, it's intensive."

I nodded and settled back on the table, waiting patiently. Ratchet opened my chassis and fiddled with some things. My waiting would soon be over.

* * *

I woke up to a strong sensation of stiffness. I didn't remember losing consciousness. Ratchet and Perceptor were leaning over me.

"How do you feel?" Ratchet asked.

"Like I haven't moved in a month," I said, slowly sitting up. It felt like my spine had been fused together.  
"Most of your joints have been replaced for a new range of mobility. Your legs, your hands, your head, your neck, your chest, your engine systems… There isn't much that doesn't have a new part somewhere. Here, let me show you."

He took up my hand, which I noticed was stripped of it's blue plating. The Elise was gone. He jacked into my wrist, and gave me access to his optics. I peered out through them and saw a bright chrome femme I barely recognized. I had vestigial wings pointing up behind my shoulders…! I touched my face, noticing my wrist rolled a little more than it would have before. I was more angular, less rounded.

"Wow," I whispered, withdrawing from Ratchet's optics. He unplugged himself from me. "You're a miracle worker, doc!"

"Of course I am… though Perceptor helped."

I leapt to the floor, weaving a little when my upper body refused to bend as it should have. Ratchet offered a steadying hand, which I took gratefully with a questioning look.

"Part of the upgrade," he said apologetically.

"What about the alt mode?" I asked excitedly.

"You want it already? Aren't you tired?"

I shook my head. I was too exhilarated by the possibilities my new upgrade had afforded me.

"If I give it to you, you have to swear to be careful. No flying more than five miles from base."

I nodded, intending to break that rule.

Ratchet fed himself the data for the blueprints first and then passed them on to me.

In moments I'd begun the process of making 3d units out of the scan, and in seconds it was finished. I swayed, once again hanging on to Ratchet in order to stay on my feet.

Ratchet made a surprised sound. I lifted my head, which had drooped to almost my chest in my exhaustion. "What?"

"I didn't know you were shy, Bravura."

I sighed in irritation. "What has that got to do with anything?"

"Well, your wings aren't sticking out. Generally a flyer is fairly confident, and it shows. They display their abilities right up on the shoulders. Yours… Yours are folded down your back."

I twisted, trying to see them. I was surprised at the dark and stormy gray-blue metallic sheen that covered my new plating. I couldn't twist my neck enough to get a good line down my back, so Ratchet once again offered me his optics.

They were indeed folded down my back like a wasp's wings. The tetrajet didn't have big sensational wings like Earth planes, but mine were folded over so many times to fit down my back smoothly that they ended just before my knees.

"This is really different from what I expected," I said, leaning against the exam table.

"Well, there's no taking it back now. Your upgrades are installed and can only be removed at great risk to your wellbeing. Even then, the new programs you've been given would make you an unhappy land dweller."

"Oh, I don't want to take it back. I love it. Thanks for all the hard work Ratchet, Perceptor. I'm just really tired… Think I'm gonna hit the hay…"

Ratchet crossed to the cooler and fetched me an energon cube, which I downed appreciatively. He gave me a few more parting instructions I hardly heard, then I left for the berth Hotrod and I had been sharing.

* * *

"What the hell?"

I woke with a jerk, stymied when I had to use my arms more than usual to get my torso up into a sitting position.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked Hotrod, who was having emotions so mixed up that I didn't know what to think. I slid my feet to the edge of the berth, ready to jump down.

"What did you _do?_" My spark twin moaned. "You don't even like flying! You threw up the first time you got on an airplane!"

I crossed my arms over my slightly widened chest. "I really wish I could take all my memories back from you. But it's been a long time, and I've changed. The Seekers said I'd make a good flyer and I believe them."

"After everything they did to you, you actually believe those scumbags?!" Hotrod crossed the tiny room and grabbed my shoulders. "They tried to murder you! Doesn't that tell you something?"

"Skywarp wouldn't lie to me."

"He left you, Bravura. He lied to you every time he looked at you!" Hotrod shook me just enough to jerk my head back a few degrees. "He didn't love you."

He knew the moment he went to far. My spark felt like it imploded on itself. I wished it had.

He immediately had me in his arms, whispering apologies and placations that I didn't want to hear. I violently pushed the mech away, but he only went as far as my arms could push him. He didn't let go.

"Get off of me!" I snapped, trying to twist out of his grasp.

"Just calm down, we'll talk. You're tired, I know you are. We'll rest, then we'll talk."

Frantic, I shook my head. I had to get away, had to go somewhere to be alone. The click that escaped my throat betrayed how difficult a time I was having with coping, quickly followed by another.

I melted into Hotrod's arms as he slowly drew me back to his chest. He picked me up and cradled me as he'd done many times in the days since my Seeker had left, sitting on the bed and leaning against the wall of the berth. I hiccupped again, resigned to crying out my sorrow with an audience.

There was a knock at the door a little later. Hotrod left me on the berth to answer it. He blocked whoever it was, so I only heard that it was Bumblebee.

"I was going to spend some time with Bravura. She never came back from her lesson with Ratchet. Is she with you?"

"Yes. She got her upgrade and a new alt mode. She's worn out now."

"A new alt mode? You mean… she chose to be a flyer?" Bumblebee sounded shocked.

"Yes." There was a pause. "I know, I'm surprised too, but it's her body."

"Well… Ok. I have to head back. Sam needs me in the morning. Tell her I said goodnight."

"Will do, Bee. See you."

The door clicked shut and Hotrod came back to the berth, scooping me up and returning me to my preferred position, curled in his lap and leaning against his chest.

"Everything is going to be ok," he murmured to me. "I'll take care of you."

I whimpered. I didn't want a caretaker. I wanted what I couldn't have.

* * *

"You wanted the jet mode, you have to fly it," Mirage said, barely containing his amusement. We were standing on the road about a quarter-mile from the mesa, and I was having troubles.

"It's not that… Do I just… jump in the air?"

"Yeah, and try flapping your arms."

I growled. Skywarp had always jumped straight off the ground and transformed midair. Could I pull something like that off?

Without giving myself a chance to worry, I took a short running start and jumped as high as I could, transforming. I was in my alt mode quickly enough, but I was so thrilled with myself for managing that much that I forgot to power my thrusters. I clanked back to the ground with a thud.

Mirage burst into outright guffaws. I transformed back and stood up, glaring at my teacher. He had been unusually unsupportive about my new abilities.

I turned away from him, squared my shoulders, and tried again. This time, I gunned my engines as soon as I could.

I shot forward wildly, lost control, and hit the dirt yet again. Mirage's laughter cut off and he came running to check on me as I climbed to my feet.

"Are you ok?" He looked me up and down for anything serious.

I looked up at him, strangely exhilarated. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good! Yeah. Yeah!"

He didn't have a chance to question me before I'd leapt back into the sky to try again.

I took it easy this time, not overcorrecting or overreacting. I didn't do much more than fly in a straight line, but the rush I got from it was incredible. Absolutely the most life-changing thing I'd ever done.

Touching down didn't go so well. I had no idea how to slow down enough without actually falling straight into the dirt… Mirage helped me untangle myself from the mess I made of my landing.

* * *

"Mirage said you bit the dust a lot today," Hotrod said as I climbed up onto the berth next to him.

"Yeah, I did. But I flew. I really flew! I can go anywhere I want!"

"Hmm. Yeah, but I wish you wouldn't go far. There are too many Seekers on this planet."

I smiled to myself. "That's true." Only one was missing.

* * *

It took me a ridiculously short time to find Skywarp's old base in the Rockies. My imperfect human memories weren't much help, aside from a few jagged outlines of mountaintops I managed to catch riding with Thundercracker.

I'd completely forgotten the hangar built over the top, so at first I flew right by it. Something keyed into my memory and I did a slow turn, coming in low over the hangar. No sign of any activity for a long, long time. I came back around and slowed down until I could hit the ground on my feet with a heavy thud. There was a snowstorm coming in a few hours, but I wouldn't need hours.

I walked into the hangar. It was empty, lonely. The trapdoor leading into the base was ripped off its hinges, the entrance a dark maw. I wanted to go down, but I couldn't quite go that far. I went to the edge and stared down, finally settling to the ground, thinking of the day he and his brother had brought me back here. He'd gone through so much to get me back so many times. How could he let it all go to waste?

I lost track of time after all. The storm whipped in all at once, blowing sleet into the open ends of the hangar. A large bit splatted right into one of my optics, so I got up and went to check the skies.

I was grounded. I sighed to myself and turned to the dark entrance of the abandoned base. If I wanted to keep from icing over, I'd have to at least get below the surface. I resigned myself to reliving old memories, then went down the deep-cut stairs.

I expected it to get darker the deeper I got, but it actually got a little brighter, a sustained glow that was just barely enough for my sensitive optics. I slowed, more conscious of how I placed my feet. I slowed to a stop, leaning against the wall to feel for vibrations and scanning for signatures.

Somebody was here. They were moving, and they were big, but they were being just as careful as me. The tiny vibrations stopped.

"Hello?" I dared. "Is somebody here?"

They gave up all attempts at being covert and exploded from the closest room in the hall. I jerked back a few steps, serving up my gun and powering it. Two huge humming weapons glowed feet from me, framing angry red eyes.

We stared each other down, until I suddenly realized who I was looking at.

"Thundercracker?"

He growled. "Who's asking?"

I laughed nervously. "It's Bravura."

He snarled. "She's blue."

"It's me. I got my upgrade. I'm a jet now." I realized my gun was still humming, so I powered it down and got my hand back. "What are you doing down here? Shouldn't you be in Starscream's base?"

He still didn't look like he trusted me, but he lowered his guns anyway. "He's been touchy ever since Skywarp kicked his aft. I'm giving him some room until he gets over it."

"You know that Skywarp left, right?"

"Of course. He picked up some equipment from Starscream before he left. Told me he was going to do what Starscream couldn't."

I crossed my arms. "What does that mean?"

"How would I know? That guy has been weird ever since you came into the picture. You want to sit down?"

I nodded, following the Raptor down the hall to a tiny rec. hall, sitting next to him on a bench against the wall.

"You think it has to do with the femmes?" I asked after a while.

"Maybe. Maybe he's just going to unify the Decepticons. He didn't say much."

I looked at the Seeker, an idea taking form as I stared at the familiar lines of Skywarp's brother.

* * *

"Perceptor, can I ask you a favor?"

"Certainly, young lady."

"I was wondering where Cybertron is… You know, which star it's around. And where colonies are, and lots of other things."

"Really? Wonderful! Meet me on the mesa tonight, two hours after sundown. I'd be happy to show you."

* * *

"Zeke, can I ask you something?"

"Sure Bravo. What's on your mind?"

"Say I was looking for a certain kind of plane… do you know where I could find it?"

* * *

"Remember those landmines you used when we first met, Prowl? How would you know when to do something like that instead of fight? Are they hard to make?"

* * *

"How do you build a hologram generator, Ratchet?"

* * *

"Can you teach me how to use my communications suite, Mirage?"

* * *

"What are the Autobots about, Optimus? What about the Decepticons?"

* * *

It had been over a month since Skywarp left. I'd been busy. I felt as ready as I'd ever be. Hotrod felt the alertness in me that morning when I'd come out of recharge, but his questioning hadn't gotten anything out of me. I was driven, and nothing was going to get in my way.

The soldiers in the hallways gave me playful two fingered salutes that I returned with a grin. I'd made friends with many of them through Zeke, who'd turned out to be a pretty nice guy. I'd miss him.

I punched in the exit code with unusual seriousness.

"Watch that storm coming, Bravo," one of the guards said with a wave.

"Will do, Jenks."

I couldn't help but sprint up the roadway to the top of the mesa. I wanted one last look around.

The sun was getting low, already hidden by a bank of clouds rolling in. It was an unseasonable thunderstorm. I took the time to admire the power I knew was raging in those innocent-looking puffs.

I walked to the edge of the mesa and looked down. Skywarp had been right; I had never been afraid of heights. I'd been afraid of falling. Well, I had no fear of falling now. I was going up, and I wasn't stopping until I found what I was looking for.

Dialing up the Autobot special frequency, I prepared my goodbye.

_Autobots of Autobot City, this is the Neutral Bravura. Thank you for all of your time and patience. Some day I'll make all the effort worth the while. For now, I have a mission. I'm leaving Earth. I'm going to the colonized sectors. Good luck here on my world. Take care of her. Goodbye._

Hotrod was panicked. He was down below, but I imagined he was already running for the exit. I wouldn't wait for him. A wave of bitterness lapped at the edges of my determination. Skywarp had finally opened the door into a world I'd never known existed, a world where I might actually be fast enough and strong enough to fend for myself, but he wasn't here to see it.

I leapt off the edge of the mesa, transformed, and began my climb to the heavens.

_I'm coming, Skywarp,_ I murmured into the stars as they began to show through the atmosphere. I took my time as I became weightless, my whole body groaning as I cooled rapidly from extreme atmosphere-breaking heat to absolute frigidity. Mathematics, orbits, gravity wells and trajectories ran through my processors, but all I wanted to do was stare down at Earth. God, she was beautiful. I hoarded that last look deep into my memory core.

I spun end over end until I faced open space, orienting myself carefully. I waited for Thundercracker, broadcasting my signal for anyone to read. At first I thought he wasn't coming, but then I saw a glint of light off of his cockpit. He was already in orbit, slowly moving towards me.

I saw my as-yet unused Decepticon frequency blink to life and let the encryption program, which the blue Seeker had given me, do its job.

_You sure you're going to do this?_

_Of course I am. _

_He's going to think you're crazy._

_Of course he will. Point me, Thundercracker._

He slowly rolled on his axis, up and down, back and forth, until he seemed satisfied.

_That way. Don't know how far._

I carefully pulled under him so that I could see exactly which star he was pointing at.

_That's all I needed. Hey… can you try not to kill anybody when I'm gone? _

Thundercracker's resonant laugh filled my receivers. _It's a war, kid. I can't make any promises, but I'll try not to kill them if they don't try to kill me._

_Thanks. Hopefully I'll see you again._

_Be careful, kid._

I didn't answer, just slowly pulled ahead of him and rolled a little to the left. He wiggled back to the right in acknowledgement. I steadied my nerves, fighting the urge to look back at my home planet. If I looked now, I might never leave. I punched my thrusters to full burn and shot forward, leaving Thundercracker and everything I knew behind.

* * *

If fanfics had movie-style end credits 'Frozen Oceans' by Shiny Toy Guns would be playing right now. I hope you enjoyed First Impressions. If not, you're a glutton for punishment going this far and so I have no pity for you ; ) I have had an absurdly good time between the fun of doing the story itself and the feedback from an incredibly cool set of reviewers. I haven't decided if I'll look for a Beta for the sequel, but since I do tend to get sloppy I should consider it, eh? Let me know if it's something you'd wanna do.

xoxox


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